Friday, June 10, 2016

Whore Today, Gone Tomorrow

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, sanders, hillary, rape, unconscious
Also, there weren't any witnesses.
Despite our intense dislike of his politics, Hope n' Change has at least held a grudging admiration for Bernie Sanders' apparent integrity and sincerity when it came to his wildly misguided beliefs. But (surprise!) it turns out he's been lying all along.

Following a brief meeting with the president whose "favor the rich" financial policies represent everything Bernie allegedly hates, the crusty candidate has agreed to help Wall Street pin-up girl and financial racketeer Hillary Clinton win the White House in order to kill off the middle class once and for all.

To accomplish this, Sanders is not only going to have to completely change his rhetoric to convince his enthusiastic young supporters to vote for the cackling candidate, he's also going to have to slip a heavy dose of rohypnol into their drinks.

Which might at least spare them the memory of their political molestation when, and if, they eventually wake up.

AND TWO MORE THINGS...

We were going to make this point today about Obama's official endorsement of Hillary, but noted thinkologist John the Econ said it sooner and better:

"This means those of you holding their breath for an indictment can give up and start breathing again. Obama wouldn't endorse a candidate that was on her way to the big house. No doubt, James Comey has already told his staff to take summer vacation early."

Secondly, we want to remind readers that there's another great political blog we think you'll enjoy: The Daily Gouge. Follow the link and enjoy the fun!

23 comments:

REM1875 said...

And the wheels on the bus go round and round. up and down.......cause that's a hell of a lot of people to throw under the bus.

rickn8or said...

The members of Bernie's FSA are going to be sooo disapointed...

Jim Irre said...

Pardon me for cackling, but this couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of morons!

TrickyRicky said...

I guess that there should have been a trigger warning prior to admittance to the Feel The Bern movement. Now the special snowflakes will have to retreat to their safe space, burn some incense, have an extended drum circle, and come to the horrible conclusion the their hero is just another member of the patriarchy with a huge dollop of white privilege.

porkyspen said...

I don't know..... Bernie's not endorsed Cankles yet, and has a rally in Washington next week before the last primary. Plus he has vowed to push for his agenda at the convention. I think he's going to stick around to see if the FBI's investigation topples the doddering wino once and for all (please please please please)

Anonymous said...

"...um, completely?"

Rod said...

Bernie never presented realistic answers HOW he was going to deliver all these wonderful socialistic freebies, and I don't care for his politics, but he IS correct with many of his "unfair" complaints about economy and our nation in general. USA used to be a lot more like what he seems to want, and we were not communist nor socialist. If Republican party would pick-up on just a few of them and develop real solutions, they could win a landslide. But that isn't going to happen, most everyone in DC on both sides thinks the current situation is just dandy (for them). Republicans will spend the next five months calling Hillary a cheat, liar, failure, deceiver, lawbreaker, racist, sexist, money grubbing harpy (as do I) and we'll all be correct about that... but enough voters don't even care. We need a full house cleaning, steam treatment and disinfection. If Trump can lead that, I'll tolerate him and it will be a bargain. The next five months will be interesting; disgusting but interesting.

Walter1694cir said...

Bernie the Chameleon changes to fit the landscape, while OSambo the Pimp, roots and toots for Hillary the Harlot.

There are so many firsts in this campaign. Too many to count, but the one that wins the cake walk today boys and girls, is a sitting POTUS openly campaigning for a candidate.

Step right up folks and see the Greatest Farce on Earth, the American political process! We are dealing with pubic service not public service, for we have the best political system $$$ can buy.

The Harlot will win Texas, because cowboys love dem fat calves!!!

Sam L. said...

I get ERROR 502 - BAD GATEWAY for The Daily Gouge.

LT said...

And now his supporters can Feel the Bern
like they wanted everyone else to.
The irony here is so deep,
the Loch Ness Monster could be hiding in it.

Even still, I laugh in their general direction.
They deserve far worse than they shall ever receive,
and if that's not sufficient proof of God's mercy,
then I don't know what would be...

/LT

John the Econ said...

So now, it really starts to get interesting. For over a year now, we've been forced to listen to Progressive glee as to how the GOP is dysfunctional, over, destroyed. This made for a great distraction from the party with the real problem, the Democrats. At least Republicans were offered a choice of candidates. The now-ironically named Democratic party never had a choice for a candidate. Bernie, who like Trump wasn't even a member of his presumptive party until very recently was allowed a year to play only so that Hillary's coronation didn't look too much like an "election" in North Korea. Yes, Bernie's popularity got unpredictably out of control, but the Democratic establishment fully expects to pull him back into the fold, along with his young, impressionable and idealistic followers.

So here's the real question: Will Bernie, the only supposedly principled candidate do it? Will he cooperate, or at least "get along" with a candidate and party that is currently diametrically opposed to everything he stands for as they continue their war against the middle class? What can a hopelessly corrupt Democratic establishment offer him? How can he possibly stand behind the Clinton establishment and retain any credibility and viability with his millions of followers without alienating them and making them as cynical as the Hillary followers?

Or, will he do what the Progressives were hoping Trump would do, split from the Democrats and run as an independent and dividing the Progressive vote?

If Bernie sticks with Hillary and the Democrats, half of Bernie's kids will pout and stay home, and a third of them might actually vote for Trump in protest. This is what is now keeping Democratic strategists up at night.

@Stilton, you flatter me with the title "thinkologist". I think I'll add that to my resume. Although the way things are going, I somehow think that being named the "Official Thinkologist of Hope n' Change" is likely to be the final nail in my coffin at the Clinton in-Justice department show trials that will no doubt be taking place within a few years.

Longknife 21 said...

Did you see Obama's "endorsement speech"? Totally rehearsed. Obama trying for "sincerity", really struggling, like he does whenever he is really lying his ass off. An hour later his Official Propagandist "leaked" that it is a "Criminal Investigation" now into Hillary's E-mails.
What can you believe? Absolutely nothing!
An Obama endorsement is 'the Kiss of Death' for all but the retarded and Commies.

CenTexTim said...

"This means those of you holding their breath for an indictment can give up and start breathing again. Obama wouldn't endorse a candidate that was on her way to the big house."

Nonsense.

White House press secretary Josh Earnest insisted that President Obama's endorsement of Hillary Clinton will not "sway" the ongoing FBI investigation into Clinton. (Source)

Josh wouldn't lie to us, would he?

In a totally unrelated matter, Shortly after the endorsement was made, President Obama met with Attorney General Loretta Lynch this afternoon in the Oval Office. The meeting was closed to the press.

Geoff King said...

So, Ă˜bama endorsed Stalin...I mean, Mao endosed Clinton...I mean, oh what the hell...at this point in time, what difference does it make?

John the Econ said...

"Shortly after the endorsement was made, President Obama met with Attorney General Loretta Lynch this afternoon in the Oval Office. The meeting was closed to the press."

I'm surprised a meeting was even necessary. His "endorsement speech" was all that was necessary for the bureaucracy to know what to do, just as the IRS never needed a signed memo to proceed with the prosecution of Tea Party groups.

Okay, there is the possibility that this is all just an act on Obama's part, and a set-up for a last minute Biden-Warren ticket after an indictment. This would probably solve the Democrat's problem should Bernie bolt and go independent. But even if that was the case, there would have been no reason for Obama to actually endorse Clinton, a person for whom he has no respect or love for even in the best of times.

Geoff King said...

I predict that, after 8 years of another Clinton presidency, we will all be shamed into voting for Caitlyn Jenner in 2024 (assuming our country and the voting process still exists) because SHE represents that miniscule minority of individuals that can't come to terms with what God gave them at birth.
Anyone not voting for IT will be immediately labeled as homophobic.
Whether or not a candidate may be good for our country is no longer of any concern.
What matters most these days is whether or not our vote will be politically correct.
Nothing else is important to the progression of our country. Period, end of sentence.
Those who do not accept that train of thought will be re-educated for the common good. Wrongspeak is no longer acceptable and INGSOC will take you out.

Anonymous said...

Everyone who needs such things for preparedness, or comfort, or for the estate better keep watching for occasional decent deals (in modern terms) on large quantity ammunition, then store it securely and properly. We won't be getting a lot more later. Even bulk supplies & reloading is not very effective; supplies have decreased; cost has increased. Practice with small rounds, but do occasionally practice; not just targets but concealment, spotting, handling and getting on target. Those who are accustomed to violence to get what they demand would do well to think about it, they may encounter it. Much like the dude with the rocks learned at Love Field today. - Not PC and likely never will be.

Geoff King said...

In other disgusting news of the day, Canada's Supreme Court has ruled that sexual acts with animals is legal as long as no penetration is involved...for now.
http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2016/06/09/canada-supreme-court-legalized-humans-sex-animals/
Welcome to the total decline of society.

Anonymous said...

The only way Clinton is going to indicted is if Trump becomes president. Poor Bernie, forced to be a sell-out hypocrite by Obama and Clinton so he can keep his job.
How's that kick in the pants reality feeling, Mr. Sanders?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@REM1875- Technically, this is greasing the wheels.

@rickn8or- I wonder if they'll resent the collapse of his (ahem) principles or will be willing to delude themselves that Hillary doesn't represent everything they hate?

@Jim Irre- Many of Bernie's supporters have been in college for years, yet this will be their first real taste of "education."

@TrickyRicky- You paint a delightful and (no doubt) accurate picture.

@porkyspen- No, Bernie hasn't endorsed Hillary yet...but he will, full throatedly. I'm sure he still wants to get as much of his agenda on the platform as possible, but I think we'll see the obvious transition from opposing Hillary to opposing Trump as Bernie's campaign limps on.

@Anonymous- I award yours the Cryptic Comment of the Day.

@Rod- You're right that Bernie's "solutions" could never work - but also that he's identified some real problems and abuses in the system that most Republicans don't really seem to care about clearing up (Paul Ryan being a notable exception when it comes to making entitlement programs more sustainable). I agree that we need a major shakeup- I just hope (but am far from convinced) that Trump is the guy to do it.

@Walter1694cir- If I was a betting man, I'd bet that both Obama's campaign support for Hillary and her apparent "get out of jail free" card can be attributed to her having damning information with which she is blackmailing Barry.

@Sam L.- The link works for me, try it again. The Daily Gouge is written by a friend of mine who is smart, funny, educated on the issues, and a veteran. Too bad he's not running for office (grin).

@LT- I like the fact that Bernie's minions wanted free college, free medicine, and free money...and instead, all they're getting is your free verse poetry.

@John the Econ- For starters, "thinkologist" was a shout-out to The Wizard of Oz, when the Wiz gives the Scarecrow a diploma and declares him to be a Doctor of Thinkology. After which the Scarecrow declares "The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side." Which sounds impressive, but is wrong. Which I share only as trivia - not to cast aspersion on your thinkologist credentials.

Regarding Bernie, I don't think he'll go third party. As to what will become of Bernie's supporters now that they've enjoyed their ride up the Hershey Highway, I don't think Hillary can afford to lose their votes. She'll adopt even more of Bernie's rhetoric and grab a VP who might appeal to the younger members of the base.

@Longknife21- The timing of the "criminal investigation" detail was interesting, but I think deliberately intended to add a facade of seriousness to the investigation. My best guess is that Barry met with Loretta Lynch to tell her to sic the DOJ on anyone in the FBI who leaks damning info about Hillary.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@CenTexTim- I still think that "Josh Earnest" is the most wonderfully oxymoronic name ever for a White House press secretary. And I mentioned my theory about "Get Back, Loretta" in my comment above.

@Geoff King- I'll drink to that. No, really.

@John the Econ- Again, when it comes to endorsing Hillary, I think we're seeing a black male under the influence of blackmail. Personally, I think she's sitting on proof that he and Jarrett attempted to kill the mission that eventually nailed Bin Laden, and that it was she and Leon Panetta who approved it.

@Geoff King- I'm afraid you're right. Our populace now wants entertainment, and so the biggest qualification for a president is to be an historical "first." Black, woman, transgender, dolphin - whatever.

@Anonymous- No doubt good advice. And I should probably be ashamed of myself for enjoying the Love Field situation, but I think we're overdue for some clarification of the relationship between a-holes with rocks and cops with guns...whether it be at airports or po@@litical rallies.

@Geoff- Well THERE'S a news story I wish I hadn't read.

@Anonymous- I'm sure Bernie is being offered some impressive perks privately. And if a Trump DOJ would prosecute Hillary (and others) for their longstanding crimes, I could actually enjoy aspects of his administration.

John the Econ said...

Bernie's supporters: Bernie's kids are certainly naive, but they aren't so numb as to buy into Hillary's cynical shift to the left to buy them off. Bernie's shtick is centered about big money corrupting big politics, and Hillary is the epitome of that meme. On that level, Trump is cleaner than Hillary. As you suggest, Hillary will certainly pick a VP (Liz Warren looks like a favorite) to try to counter that, but I don't think that will work as well as anyone thinks either. These kids have seen first hand the silliness of affirmative action, and Trump will unceasingly drill the fauxcahontas meme should Warren be the choice. A two-woman ticket will certainly pump the estrogen vote, but not enough to make a difference, and might even kill off more male voters in the process for a net loss.

Black-male-mail: Good call; hadn't considered that. No doubt the Clinton machine has been sitting on a lot Obama gunk that would certainly soil the legacy, which he certainly doesn't want loose. But for the moment, he's still got the upper hand; he literally has the power to put her (and probably Bill as well) down for good. It will probably be a generation or more before we learn what's really going on here.

Meanwhile, this was a bit of a surprise; ABC (employer of active Clinton operative George Shephanopolous) actually did a story quite damaging to Hillary:

How Clinton Donor Got on Sensitive Intelligence Board

"Newly released State Department emails help reveal how a major Clinton Foundation donor was placed on a sensitive government intelligence advisory board even though he had no obvious experience in the field, a decision that appeared to baffle the department’s professional staff."

This is the kind of press that the Clintons used to be able to expect would not happen from the MSM the last time around. I wonder what the Clintons did to piss off ABC, or has ABC realized that if they continue to look the other way as the Clintons do their thing that they'll lose whatever credibility they have left.

Sam L. said...

"This means those of you holding their breath for an indictment can give up and start breathing again. Obama wouldn't endorse a candidate that was on her way to the big house. No doubt, James Comey has already told his staff to take summer vacation early."

Boys and girls, can you say "plausible deniability"? Yes, i thought you could.