Sunday, August 2, 2009

Poll Vault

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On issue after issue, Obama's poll numbers are plummeting. Like a lead balloon. Like Icarus in flames. Like Acupulco cliff divers who misjudge where the rocks are. Like whatever the hell that blue ice is that falls off of jets, crashes through roofs, and melts into rank puddles of human waste.

Hope n' Change pop quiz - The president's ratings are in free fall because:

1) His "stimulus" only stimulated political cronies
2) His auto "bailouts" turned into union payoffs
3) His proposed healthcare plan guarantees higher bills and worse medicine
4) He turned a blind eye toward Iranian protestors
5) He supports the return of an anti-democratic despot to Honduras
6) His billion-dollar "Cash for Clunkers" program ran out of money in a single week
7) His "Cap and Trade" bill is widely seen as non-environmental wealth redistribution
8) He inflamed the nation with the accusation that white police officers are, as a group, stupid racists.

The correct answer is, of course, that the president's ratings are dropping "Because he drinks light beer."

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