Friday, July 20, 2012

Rain of Error

Okay, right off the bat we want to make something clear: Barack Obama has not imposed a tax penalty on farmers whose cornfields are withering and dying from an historic drought.

And our question is: why not?

After all, to help people who had no health insurance, the president passed a law which hits them with a tax penalty until they magically get insurance - so why not use this same logic to bring rain?

And now that we think of it, America's dry, blighted, unproductive cornfields (which will soon be causing a spike in the price of food) are also an awfully good metaphor for America's private business sector in general. You know, the private sector that Obama says is "doing fine."

Manufacturing declined again this month, consumer confidence is down, and joblessness "unexpectedly" shot higher last week. So what is Obama's plan (enthusiastically supported by his party) to finally make things grow again? Raise taxes on small business! Brilliant!

Oh sure, there are those skeptics who say that raising taxes during recessionary times would really just "take more demand out of the economy and put businesses in a further hole," but what do those morons know? And...wait. What's that? Oh. It turns out that it was Barack Obama who uttered those words in 2009.

But since that time, he's learned a LOT about helping things grow.

Especially during times of an historic drought of honesty and leadership.

Maybe it was stolen by the people whose jobs were created or saved.


RandyS said...

Shame on you, Stilt! Obama would never be so callous as to impose a tax on farmers who fail to find a single drop of moisture for their withering fields. This time you've crossed the line. Now, if you'd said he's going to impose a tax on not producing enough corn...

RandyS said...

Just like oil refineries being charged a penalty for not using a product that does not yet exist but is still a legislated regulatory requirement. Jeez, Stilt, you've got to get Obama's statist tactics straight.

REM1875 said...

With corn being scarce corn squeezings is gonna be pricey and may actually force some of us to buy liquor!!! But stop clutching your chest like that comrade zero will be announcing a new '5 year plan' for collectives. Yeah I know a lot of farms are owned by individuals now but that's the beauty of his 5 year plan, they will all be collectives in 5 years, that and the fact that he still plans on being president for life in 5 years.
Remember you didn't grow that corn, somebody else grew that corn!

Velcro said...

I'll bet he's checking the lack of rain and corn with taxpayer-funded UAVs.

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

I drive past dozens of corn and soy bean fields every day just going to work and back. It's depressing to watch them dry up and wither from lack of rain. We had a good soaking here the other day but I fear it's too late to save them. Corn is used to produce so many food products that this disaster can't help but spike grocery prices. Like we really needed that right now. This drought, like the Obama administration, is a disaster we have to ride out and get past.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@RandyS- Obama believes taxes are like a Swiss Army Knife. They're the right tool for every job!

@REM1875- Not only did somebody else grow that corn, but the seed stock was all stolen from oppressed minorities (Native Americans). Therefore corn farming is a racist, criminal endeavor that Eric Holder should be looking into.

@Velcro- "Looks like rain comin'! Nope - hang on - it's just another drone."

@Angry Hoosier Dad- I'm a Hoosier myself (transplanted to Texas) and was raised amidst cornfields, so I know how sad it is to see crops dying in the fields. And I'm not kidding when I say it very much reminds me of our current economy.

rickn8or said...

(Re-punctuated for clarity.)

Well, there's certainly no shortage of government-provided manure for the crops. (Fertilizer??" Good Lord Bess, it's taken me 20 years to get him to say "manure"!)

And I say again, putting food in your gas tank is a Bad Idea.

Get ready for a double whammy this Fall.

Pete(Detroit) said...

Watch for price of beef to fall temporarily as herds are slaughtered when ranchers can no longer feed them. It will get cheap, then VERY expensive, as it disappears. Then again, I may well be wrong

I wonder if we'll STILL have subsidies for turning food into fuel?

Wouldn't it be nice if HFCS actually got pricier than 'real' sugar and the megacorps quit poisoning us with it?

And yes, I have great sympathy for the farmers - it's freaking hard work and it's damned tough to get far enough ahead to survive a bad year. See also Michigan's fruit crop (Apples, peaches, cherries) 95% ruined by an unseasonably warm spring w/ a seasonal hard frost that nipped 'em in the bud - literally.

And, sadly, I'm sure that some in the current administration will see it as a way to expand the evil duo of gov't servitude and dependance.

CenTexTim said...

"...America's dry, blighted, unproductive cornfields (which will soon be causing a spike in the price of food)..."

The price of gas will increase as well, because the govt. mandates that ethanol be added to gas, and ethanol is derived from corn.

I just hope that the hops and barley crops are okay...

Goldenrod said...

It’s a sad and unfortunate situation for both the ranchers and farmers, (and ultimately us), but perhaps most unsettling is the opportunity for the government to not let a crisis go to waste by heaping on more rules and regulations.

REM1875 said...

Bingo Stilton. How could we ever hope to improve the advanced growing methods of stone age 'societies' that would rip the hearts out of the chest of thousands on a good weekend? We are so selfish - why just a hundred thousand or so sacrificed to the sun gods should clear up this corn problem and I bet zero, mooch, rahm and Eric know just where they would like to get these lucky 'volunteers'.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@rikn8or- I could go on a long tangent about the idiocy of turning corn into a gasoline additive (aka "biofuel"). The whole program is a boondoggle.

@Pete(Detroit)- Farmers are tremendously undervalued. Although it doesn't help when you have crazy government subsidies which pay landowners not to grow crops. I seem to recall that alleged journalist Sam Donaldson owns quite a bit of land and gets fat government subsidies for not planting it.

I'm guessing that when food prices start to rise, we'll see the Obama administration pointing to this drought as evidence of climate change caused by capitalist industries. Think I'm kidding? Just wait.

@CenTexTim- You make a very important point! One of the few remedies for "Hope" and "Change" is "Hops and Barley."

@Goldenrod- If and when the government creates more regulations, I think the weight will fall on those evil CO2 producing industries. You know - the ones that used to be able to hire people.

@REM1875- The administration won't need to really make TOO big a dent in the population with human sacrifices. I think they'll probably restrict themselves to cutting the hearts out of just the top 1%.

And on a nearly unrelated note, if we've gone for an historically long period without rainclouds obscurring the sunny skies, why do all of Obama's solar energy companies keep going bankrupt?

mlester101 said...

"YOU DIDN'T WRITE THAT, SOMEBODY...oh wait, alright you DID write that. IRS agents are on their way to your house." -BHO

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@mlester101- You make a great point. If everyone else is responsible for my annual earnings, how come THEY don't get my tax bill?

John the Econ said...

And just in time, E15 fuel will finally soon be available, which is an even greater waste of corn. Higher cost, lower mileage! Courtesy of your Federal government.

John the Econ said...

Meanwhile, this weeks "I'm not a journalist, but I play one on TV" award goes to ABC's Brian Ross, who touted "There is a Jim Holmes of Aurora, Colorado page on the Colorado Tea Party site as well. Talking about him joining the Tea Party last year. Now, we don't know if this the same Jim Holmes."

If you don't know, then why report it?

Of course, just like with the Giffords shooting, leftist journalists were more than ready to assign blame to right-wing boogiemen before they even knew the guys name. There can be only two reasons for this: Bias or sheer incompetence. Which is it ABC?

Meanwhile, I see that there's a Brian Ross in Burlington who has been arrested for armed assault and murder. I don't know if it's the same Brian Ross. I have little doubt that if I were to spend a few more minutes on the Internet, I could find some more B Ross's responsible for all kinds of heinous things like clubbing baby harp seals or molesting small children just because the Tea Party makes him so mad he can't help it. I don't know if they'd be the same B Ross, but does it really matter?

Meanwhile, Mr. Ross and his ilk continue to ignore the real criminals of the "Occupy" movement. There are probably some B Ross's there too.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- Obviously, today's cartoon and commentary about droughts and taxes got quickly pushed aside by the nightmarish events in Colorado.

For ABC to rush to broadcast even the possibility of a Tea Party connection in hopes of forwarding their own Leftist political agenda is beyond obscene.