Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Grave Decision

A dead voter casts a ballot for Obama hoping moldy green will be in the communities of color Obama will focus on in second term.

It's Halloween, and the land is overrun with shuffling, soulless, bloodsucking creatures who feed on the pure of heart while spreading pestilence and despair. 

Of course, we're not talking about zombies - we're talking about lawyers. In fact, an entire army of lawyers being employed by Barack Hussein Obama to make sure that voters, living or dead, aren't turned away at the polls. Unless, of course, they're "typical white people" turned away by Eric Holder's club-wielding friends in the New Black Panthers.

Perhaps in expectation of challenging the election results (and certainly with an eye towards facilitating voter fraud),  Obama and his supporters are already shrieking about nonexistent voter suppression and Jim Crow laws - as if it takes some sort of conspiracy or campaign of fraud to unelect the worst president since the world was a cooling ball of gas.

Which is why liberal manatee Michael Moore and radically anti-American have just released a pro-Obama video ad which flat out declares that the GOP is trying to steal this election and puts the words in the mouths of senior citizens (who, by the way, just lost $716 billion in Medicare payments under Obama). 

In the ad, one elderly woman says that if this election gets stolen from Barack Obama, "we're going to burn this motherfucker down." And another elderly woman, speaking in her best negro dialect (as Harry Reid would say) says that if Mitt Romney wins, she's going to give him "the world's biggest cock-punch."

No, really.

So now that Obama has got young women promising him their virginity, and old folks promising to burn the country down and cock-punch Romney, how is he inspiring the rest of his voter base? He's declaring that in his second term, he will focus on "communities of color" - specifically blacks and hispanics - because "that's our future workforce and America will decline economically unless everybody is able to get the opportunities that they deserve."

Unless they're white, of course.

Or just maybe moldy green.

barack obama, whitehouse, halloween, costume
Hopefully, this is the last year we can use this picture. 


Velcro said...

I'm sure that when The One becomes number two (take that how you want) next Wednesday that army of lawyers will shift their focus to evil election fixing and hanging chads. Let's hope if it comes to it, we're not at the mercy of John Roberts again.

Coon Tasty said...

I predict that the Obama Administration will use Hurricane Sandy to prevent any votes not in their favour from being counted.

Pete(Detroit) said...

Gee, and here I thought the zombie was going to complain about how photo ID rules were going to keep him from voting this time, if they were not over turned.... w/ maybe a re-run of the 'good couple' cartoon where the husband is telling her that admin is sending out benifit checks to 98,000 dead people, and she's all "why not, they voted for him"... (recently circulated in one of those 'British cartoonist' emails)

TrickyRicky said...

How I long for the days when Obama simply wanted his zombies, er, supporters to send him their wedding presents. Good times. Good times.

alan markus said...

A few points I made yesterday elsewhere after seeing this video, I just wanted to clarify that Move.On/Michael Moore are OK with the following should Obama win:

A) It will be OK to "burn down any motherf***ing cars" with Obama stickers on them.*

B) It will be OK to c**k p***h any liberals you encounter.

Either way, after the election, I hope some of the more internet tech-savvy bloggers teach us not so savvy internet users how to bring Move.On to it's knees by concerted trolling efforts or maybe enough hits at one time to do a DOS shut-down.

You know, as in that "let's burn that motherf***ing Move.On site down".

* = wondering, if Romney wins and certain characters riot as per their Twitter promises, do you think any of them would torch an Obama-stickered car if given $20 bucks to do it? I mean, would $20 trump political ideology in that scenario?

Colby said...

It warms my heart to know that Michael Moore was paying attention when Barry gave his "Let's be civil" speech after the Tucson shootings. But seriously, what was this socialist ass thinking?! Did he really think this ad would go over well and sway undecideds to vote for the Crap-Weasel? Even "The Bloated One" isn't THAT stupid, so I wonder what the strategy is. I think it's going to go over like a screen door in a submarine.

@alan markus,
Save yourself a few bucks. Put a $5 Romney sticker on top of the obama sticker. Actually, I hope and pray a lot of obama stickers will be scraped off in approximately 168 hours.

...something I think is an indicator of things to come (hope I'm right!)...
Four years ago in NC, a lib (Bev Perdue) narrowly beat a Conservative (Pat McCrory) for Governor. Perdue is not running for re-election, but Lt. Gov. Walter Dalton is. McCrory is about 15 points ahead of Dalton and raised more $$ in 3 months than Dalton raised in 3 years. Polls say Romney will just squeak by in NC, but if you look at the Governor's race, I think Barry is going to get spanked here. Leastways, I sure hope so!

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

As usual, imagine the great wailing and gnashing of teeth by the MSM if Romney supporters had put out an ad like this (they wouldn't, of course). On the plus side, I don't think you could ask for a more poignant example of the effects of rank desperation. What were they thinking??!

John the Econ said...

Clearly, this ad campaign is aimed not at the "undecideds", but the base who are characteristically lazy and apathetic when it comes to voting. As much as Obama needs the "undecideds", if his base of zombies doesn't show up, he's just as doomed.

But I read something even scarier yesterday. (and was actually surprised when it wasn't the theme of today's cartoon) Obama is proposing a new cabinet-level post; "Secretary of Business"

Yes, that's right beleaguered businessman/woman; Obama wants a new cabinet-level position just for you and your problems!

Wait, don't we already have a "Department of Commerce" and a "Commerce Secretary"? What have they been up to for the last 4 years? Does anybody even know who the Commerce Secretary is?

It's appropriate that such trial balloons come out this week. As far as I am concerned, there's no scarier sound than hearing someone say "I'm from the government, and I'm here to help you."

My Dog Brewski said...

In a twisted way, this ad makes sense coming from the left. They view all Republicans, and especially conservatives, as evil. Republicans are not supposed to hold elected office because they are evil. Only Democrats can be true servants of the people. Like in times of war, if you dehumanize the enemy, it makes it easier to kill them without remorse. To the left, this is a war and we are the inhuman enemy. Any attack, any slander, any negative ad is justified. There is no "pale" to go beyond. There is no shame in destroying monsters by any means available. Like I makes sense from their perspective.

John the Econ said...

Oh, and I think we have our narrative for the final week of the campaign: "Climate Change". Clearly, the memo went out yesterday afternoon.

All morning, I've been hearing commentators inject "climate change" into every conceivable conversation, no matter how irrelevant. A minute ago on CNBC, the CEO of Coca-Cola was asked about it while talking about shipping bottled water into disaster areas. What was he supposed to say to that?

"You're right! Shipping bottled drinks to the northeast will increase our carbon footprint. We should let them die!"

Since this is the 4th or 5th similar comment on Sandy and "climate change" I've read or heard so far this morning, I can only assume that the memo hit sometime yesterday.

Having nothing else solid to run on, the final pitch for Obama is going to be about "climate change". Kinda funny, considering that 4 years ago we were told that "This was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow, and our planet began to heal.

Clearly, another promise unfulfilled.

mlester101 said...

1. While I certainly know WHY, I'm not sure HOW "burning mf down" is not an incite to riot except that when libs write lines like these they know to either put them in the mouths of kids or oldsters.

2. Romney in a landslide. Long shot prediction I know but here's my rationale: An appreciable % of fueled by social acceptance BHO voters will vote for their wallets (Romeny) in the privacy of the voting booth. When the results are tallied they'll cry w/ false indignation and be secretly happy that they MIGHT have a chance at a future. They're stupid but I'm betting not stupid enough. (I put down $200 to win $340 -you can't get those odds today)

Necron99 said...

I really wish I could be confident that Romney will win, but between the shady socialist criminals currently in power, the dishonest media propagandists, and the stupidity of the average American citizen, I can't say.

There should be outright condemnation from every quarter of these calls for violence should "0" lose, but not a single word is spoken. This is reason enough for me to believe that if Romney wins there will be serious attempts to deligitimise the outcome, whether through legal chicanery, mob violence, or both; thus setting the stage for "0" to declare a national emergency in the attempt to retain power.

Far fetched theory? Maybe 4 years ago, but today..., not so much.

mlester101 said...

Dick Morris: "Landslide"

Colby said...

@John the Econ,
Word has it that the Secretary of Business is going ot track how much toilet paper you use when you do your "business," so they can implement a "shit-filled paper into the landfill" tax.

txGreg said...

I'd almost be OK with that... as long as all the paper Congress uses to write new laws on is accounted for in the same way.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Velcro- I can't imagine this army of lawyers simply accepting a Romney win. I predict a legal crapstorm is blowing in...

@Coon Tasty- Even now, I suspect the Obama Administration is planning routes over weakened bridges which will conveniently collapse during the transport of GOP-heavy ballot boxes.

@Pete(Detroit)- Hey, I may need to dig that one out of the vaults! By the way, Mrs. Jarlsberg gets credit for that joke!

@alan markus- As the old saying goes, "turnabout is foul play." As far as the $20 arsonists question goes, I'm reminded of a funny photo making the rounds of the Internet: a car parked in front of a house with a Romney sign had "OBAMA" keyed into the car's hood. The funny part? The car belonged to unemployed Obama supporters who had to move back in with the Republican parents, who owned the home and the yardsign.

@Colby- I think the whole idea from Moore and MoveOn was to make something SO tasteless that it would go viral. But to what end? Simply to keep planting the idea that the GOP is pushing voter fraud? Considering the incestuous relationship between MoveOn and the Whitehouse (and the "Jim Crow" scenario being pushed by Eric Holder), I'm guessing that this is to keep the fires stoked in preparation for massive court action if the Dems don't get their way.

@Angry Hoosier Dad- You're right that a similar ad for Romney would be considered apocalyptic by the MSM. But instead, they're busy criticizing Romney for offering help to victims of Hurricane Sandy.

@John the Econ- Not to be too graphic, but the idea of an Obama-created "Secretary of Business" makes ice cubes fly out my ass. I assume - based on experience - that such a department would not be intended to aid business (the job of Commerce), but to control it. The idea is just terrifying.

@My Dog Brewski- You're quite right; our side is seen as so horrendously evil that the Left can do or say anything against us and get away with it. But let Sarah Palin use a phrase like "Shuck and Jive" and the MSM completely loses their marbles.

@John the Econ- The "global warming" memo has indeed gone out, and I'm hearing it everywhere. Newscasters are saying that it's absolutely freakish and unprecedented to have a hurricane in late October...even though hurricane season lasts until November 30th this year...just like every other year.

@mlester101- It's absolutely an incitement to riot. And encouraging physical harm to Mitt Romney if he becomes President?! Why isn't the Secret Service all over this?

And I can't think of any two words I'd rather hear together than "Romney" and "Landslide." I'm counting down the hours...

@Necron99- Sadly, there's almost nothing I'm not willing to believe (or at least consider) when it comes to the corruption of this Administration and its many toadies. So I'll continue to be stressed-out until the screen door hits Obama's ass on the way out.

@mlester101- I hope Morris is right, but I've got to confess that I find him to be a fairly repulsive little political whore (albeit one who is smart and well connected). I can't help but feel that Morris suddenly started pushing conservatism when he realized that liberals don't buy many books, but there's a nearly insatiable market for nonfiction conservative authors. And Morris cranks out the books like McDonalds cranks out hamburgers.

@Colby- Sheryl Crow can be the "One Square Czar."

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@txGreg- True fact: if a single copy of the Obamacare bill was printed on toilet paper, it could take care of the wiping needs of a community the size of Toledo, Ohio for six months.

alan markus said...

The other day post said, "So in the coming days, as you see Obama break out his frowny face to talk about the loss of lives and property"

Look at this picture - they had to show his back so that we didn't get to see the faux "frowny face". But notice that all of the people in the picture have their drinks in cardboard cups or a plastic bottle, while the "seal of the President" coffee cup is placed next to him so that all of us know that it is indeed Obama sitting there.(at the Yahoo photo link, it notes that Obama is pictured on the right, in case we don't know)

Obama Receives Update on Response to Hurricance Sandy In the Situation Room

Oh well, good thing that Stilton Jarlsberg's talents weren't utilized - would have photoshopped in a picture of Joe Biden with a Big Boppy Sippy Cup.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Pheh. I'm waiting for the real "October Surprise" to come about. And Michael who?! Remember the comments about talent yesterday? Case in point. This bozo is no longer even relevant.

@John: Saw that, and it put my mind once again into Atlas Shrugged. I swear, it's being read like a script.

@Stilt: before trying Whimsical Wombat Vomit Bisque, see my notes on yesterday's comments for a flavor tip...

John the Econ said...

And clearly, a 2nd memo went out this morning. "Infrastructure". We haven't invested enough in infrastructure. This one popped up a few hours ago, and is now being repeated ad-nauseum.

IMHO, it's kinda balsy screaming that we haven't invested enough in infrastructure after over a trillion supposedly spent on "shovel ready" projects over 3 years ago. So what's the message? "Hey, trust us! We'll actually spend it right this time!"?

Meanwhile, Obama's out cruising with Christie looking over the homes of 1%-ers that got washed away. No doubt, quick aid to rebuild will be forthcoming, paid for by those of us without beach vacation homes.

alan markus said...

By the way, if you are entertaining special requests re Photo Shop, show Biden looking at Obama with one of those infamous grins from the VP debate, and put Big Bird on the Big Screen. Just to put terror in the hearts of those who are taking the Benzhagi thing quite seriously.

Also, I wonder if the coffee cup image was photoshopped in.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@alan markus- I'm assuming that the gold-plated coffee cup Barry is using in the situation room is brand new. The previous one was ruined by all the blood on his hands.

@Emmentaler- Wow, popular culture, literature, and culinary advice all in a single post. You're a Renaissance kind of guy!

@John the Econ- The infrastructure theme has been boiled down to the line "it's time for nation-building at home." As opposed to the last four years when it never seemed of much interest to the boy king.

@alan markus- As tempting as it is to break out the Photoshop today, my higher priority is decorating the house for Halloween. I've got a yard full of inflatables, legs kicking from underneath a giant spider, a life-sized glitter skeleton suspended from a tree, miscellaneous tombstones, and I'm still pulling together a soundtrack. And no, there's no political content amongst my decorations - I don't like to cross the line from scary into actual horror.

Coon Tasty said...

@SJ - You say there's no political content among your decorations but you have perfect representations of the Democratic Party, Nancy Pelosi, and the Chicago Democrat voter rolls.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Haha - it's a gift, Stilton!

The last Trick-or-Treater (child version; not the Democrats) are gone, decorations are down and ready to be put away tomorrow; and all is quiet once again in the Limburger neighborhood - except for the nine-year-old on a sugar high bouncing off the walls in the family room...

Stilt, my soundtrack is Carl Weinrich playing all the old Bach favorites on a huge organ built before any of us were even a twinkle in our fathers' eyes. My dad had the vinyls, which I blasted at his house every Halloween as a youth; however, they were lost to me when he passed. I've looked and looked over the years for copies without luck - but - joy of joys! - I found them today in mp3 form at for $6. Happy me! Blasting Bach once aagain to all the kiddies wandering by... It was a good Halloween.

Now, knowing that no republican has lost a 6 November presidential election since about 1860, and that Ohio seems ripe for the GOP plucking, let's hope November starts on the promise of a change in WDC.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Coon Tasty- Yes, metaphorically I had the Dems pretty well represented. Plus, I took DOWN my Romney yard sign for the evening - and I can't think of anything scarier than "no Romney" in the next four years.

@Emmentaler- I'm just now returning to the computer's glow after wrapping up my evening of greeting trick-or-treaters. It was slow tonight - mostly older kids - but I was glad that our house was a beacon on the street (not a lot of other decorations up) and that I kept the faith with the small fry. As has become tradition, a neighbor with Down Syndrome (a great young man and good friend) helped me with the candy distribution duties. And I meant to have a soundtrack going, but forgot to bring my player outside. More "Monster Mash" than baroque, though I'm pretty sure Toccata & Fugue in D Minor on a theater Wurlitzer was in there somewhere.

By the way, Amazon has some outstanding deals on Baroque music from time to time (even if not the exact recordings of your youth).

And now, with Halloween behind us, I really have nothing to distract me from my obsessive fixation on the upcoming election...

REM1875 said...

No problemo with that color thing, I got high butt checks so I am sure that makes me so sort of minority al la lizzie warren.

Lizzie warren took an axe (ok a Tomahawk)
and gave the truth 40 wacks
When they saw what she had done
The media gave it forty-one

If she gets elected Joe biden will have real competition and may have to have his Christmas heart attack early so the dems can claim the first woman vice president and crap weasel will still be protected as no one absolutely no would want her as a president. Hopefully they will have to accomplish this in the last 2 plus months of crap weasel's first and only reign.

Pete D said...

Loving that "Crap Weasel" (caps, please, people - respect for the office, you know?) is really catching on. Cool.

No kids again this year - used to be the next door kids would pop by before going to what ever function they went to, but they're long moved away, so...
Every year I buy a bag of something (tootsie rolls, 'fun size', what ever) and end up bringing it to the office. Ah, well, at least I don't have to eat it all, and it *is* (I think) still Made in America.

Speaking of witches and spells, WTF has come over Chris Christie? Anyone else get the vibe he's gonna jump ship and run in 2016 as a Dem? Not sure how that would play out (anti-union stupidity, and all) but he's got NO traction (pro-Islam, anti-gun) as a Conservative. I hope.

Emmentaller, I've always been fond of Walter / Wendy Carlos "Switched On" series, and consider that one of the finest renderings of the Brandenburg Concherti... Glad you got your fix on, I know how missing music can frustrate the heck out of someone...

Mrs. Colby said...

As I watched the lovely ad by Michael Moore with the nice old lady in the wheelchair telling us what she is going to do to if Romney wins the election, I just had to smile - remember, grandma in the wheelchair is going to be pushed off the cliff by Ryan, so I think Romney is safe. Didn't Michael let her read that memo?

Pete D said...

In Re Lizzie Warren (LOVE the rhyme, REM1875), why is she not in jail? Is not falsification of EEO docco a federally punishable offense? Surely, practicing law w/o a license is not legal in MA?

Necron99 said...

I fear for the future of our nation. The crimes of the current administration's past 4 years will probably go unpunished even if we get a conservative win. I hate to be so negative, but I see little to make me believe the ethics of my childhood being restored in the hearts and minds of the next generations of our common citizenry.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Necron99: Amen. But you know what I fear more than even that? The hijinks planned for the lame duck session after all of these socialists are voted out of office...

colby said...

What's with Nanny Bloomberg telling President "Photo-Op" to take a lap? I could hardly beleive my ears! And Chris Christie standing next to BO... looks like the number 10. If you put Biden there, it would become 100 (you know - with the extra zero). WTF! My rim-shot guy just threw his sticks at me and walked out!

Nice poem! If that loon Warren gets elected, we need to invite Massachusetts to secede from the union. We have already suffered through 50 years of "dunk-em dead Ted."

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@REM1875- Nice poetry! And if Warren takes Biden's job, would she live in the VP Tepee?

@Pete D- Sorry you didn't get any trick or treaters, but I applaud you for being ready. Maybe you can send the candy to Chris Christie as long as he's looking for handouts (grin). Truthfully, I don't hold anything against him for serving his state by giving Barry the "opportunity" to look generous and efficient. I doubt many will be fooled.

@Mrs. Colby- Actually, it wasn't until I saw Moore's ad that the idea of wheelchair grannies going over cliffs started to grow on me.

@Pete D- Laws are for the little people. Especially until we can boot Eric Holder's butt out of the DOJ.

@Necron99- Sadly, even if the election goes our way entirely, it's unlikely that any of the villains responsible for the wrongdoing of the past 4 years would be punished. I'm sure it would be seen as counterproductive and political and blah, blah, blah. But personally, I'd like to see a lot of these people go to jail - not out of a sense of revenge, but as a warning that justice will be served.

@Emmentaler- I'm guessing we'll see the political equivalent of martyrs with bomb vests. Only when our lame ducks blow everything up, they don't get virgins - they get huge, lifetime retirement plans.

@Colby- Seeing Barry and Christie together, I imagine hearing "The Cuckoo Song" which Laurel & Hardy used as their theme.

Necron99 said...

@E.Limburger, the other day my neighbor lady said, "It feels like we're living in 1928 Germany."

Then my 18 year old college sophmore nephew looked at me and said, "What happened there?"

I said, "What are they teaching you in Western Civ these days?"

Pete D said...

In Re Christie / O suck-up fest - Lokos like he's prepping for a run in 2016 - as a Dem. I'd like to think he'd never get the nod as a R, Ann Coulter not withstanding. He's soft on Islam and 2nd Amend, for openers..

As for the "up and coming youts" - there may be hope...