Monday, November 12, 2012

Dead Quiet

hope and change, benghazi, obama jokes, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg

What if they gave a Congressional hearing and nobody came? We're about to find out - because the Obama admenstruation (hey, he couldn't have been reelected without all those "lady parts") is making sure that nobody will be giving evidence about what happened on 9/11 this year when our consulate in Benghazi was successfully attacked by terrorists while the Whitehouse watched and did nothing.

CIA Director, General David Petraeus, previously said to be "looking forward to testifying," won't be there because - almost magically - the FBI has discovered that he was having an extramarital affair with the authorette of his biography (the title of which, "All In," has taken on an entirely new meaning). And so the president has sadly accepted Petraeus's resignation and request to be immediately transferred to a monastery with a forced vow of silence.

Hillary Clinton, who had previously "taken responsibility" by saying she'd find out who was responsible, has decided not to testify owing to an unavoidable scheduling conflict in Australia which we can only hope doesn't involve sex with her biographer or any marsupials.

Barack Hussein Obama certainly won't be offering up any new information, as he's already told the world (in his U.N. speech) that the death of Ambassador Stevens and three other Americans was the price our nation paid for slandering the Prophet of Islam and having a regrettable "Freedom of Speech" amendment which he now has more flexibility to dismantle in his second term. Although perhaps Barry will update Congress if, like OJ Simpson, he happens to find the "real killers" while on the golf course - where he returned Saturday like a swallow flying back to Capistrano.

All of which means that there's almost no one who watched the slaughter of our Ambassador from the comfort and safety of the Situation Room who's willing to testify...except Joe Biden. But Congress has chosen not to subpoena him.

After all, the situation is bad enough without the vice-president of the United States babbling about the "cue ball" sized testicles of the Navy Seals who lost their lives, and bursting into uncontrollable laughter every time he hears the word "sodomized."

obamaphone, hope and change, benghazi, obama jokes
 "Your call cannot be completed. Please scream for help later."


John Vecchio said...

Another great one. The Comic is excellent and the commentary is so on point with "lady parts", comparing Barry to OJ, and Biden laughing at "sodomized". I am miserable at being two years since I was laid off from a good job and now no propects for another four years. By the end of His term I'll be 60 but can't retire since I used up my savings trying to survive until He was thrown out of office. Oh well, back to my hourly job. Thanks for spreading the word of His agenda. If you could only spread the truth of how he was elected by STUPID, self centered, and one issue people. Keep up the fight.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John Vecchio- I could point to a lot of similarities in our stories, only these days I'm self-employed rather than hourly. Speaking of which, I hope that your hours aren't cut back to avoid Obamacare, which is already happening to tens of thousands of people.

And not to spread too much pessimism, but I'd be willing to bet that the current jobless numbers are as good as they're going to get for the next four years.

abbeyroadwalker said...

And of course, the MSM has given wall to wall coverage of the naughty Petraeus all weekend. How convenient. Any chance of the truth ever coming out about Benghazi is now a lost cause. An terrorist attack on America is perfectly acceptable now, but if you dare have a fling with a bimbo, well, only Bill Clinton can do that with dignity and honor.

Jim Hlavac said...

Since the Democrats' favorite Democrat had an affair that didn't require his resignation (ah, just a little impeaching, that's all,) it seems weird that all of sudden an affair requires a resignation immediately. And too, since when did a mere resignation for one foible now preclude testimony on any subject the man ever dealt with? Now Congress can't demand the man come in for a chat? Perhaps they're too busy switching gears to work with the man they said they wouldn't work with.

As for the unemployment, it's more double the official figure (which is measured so bizarrely as to defy rationality) and I too bet it's not going to fall -- but, instead, it will rise in reality - while "fall" by the measurement used. And if we're all self-employed, how will we earn enough money from the other self-employed to keep us all, um, employed?

Perhaps distributing free birth control and free phones to other unemployed people having affairs is a growth business.

Gang of One said...

I dunno, peeps ... it seems that this is beginning to gain some traction. Just because Petreaus was "asked" to go away, this does not make it all go away. I think the WH has opened a can of worms and this will snowball into a full blown investigation that the media-whores can't bury.

@Jim Hlavac -- As for distributing free birthcontrol, we can only hope that means fewer parasites will be born.

Suzy said...

GREAT comics, sad that you had to write them.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@abbeyroadwalker- I, too, was sort of amused that the MSM feels that Petraeus has compromised his professional position, but it was perfectly fine for Bill Clinton to do the same thing as Commander in Chief.

But as Charles Krauthammer pointed out, the sex scandal may be a good thing in disguise: the MSM will finally take interest in Benghazi (who knows, with their candidate securely reelected, they might even like to try to reestablish a little credibility).

@Jim Hlavac- The idea that Petraeus can't testify because of this affair is bullshit, plain and simple.

Regarding unemployment, the more people who give up entirely, the better the employment figures look. That will be the ONLY thing improving those numbers, believe me.

@Gang of One- I have hope that if Petraeus becomes a man with nothing to lose, he may just fess up about what a fustercluck Obama is, and exactly what did or didn't happen during the terrorists' latest successful 9/11 attack on America.

And regarding free birth control, I DO support it. Heck, I darn near want it MANDATORY. (Sorry, Catholics!)

@Suzy- It is sad.

John the Econ said...

Dear people, did you not pay attention last week? We have now officially tipped to the other side. We've been "fundamentally changed" into a "socialist democracy".

The following are characteristics of most of the rest of the world's socialist democracies:

Unemployment of around 10%.

Time to find job after losing one is one to two years.

Annual growth of less than 2%.

Also, socialist democracies lose almost all interest in (paying for) defense or international affairs. Given the choice between paying for goodies or defense, they will always choose the former.

So don't be surprised that your average Democrat doesn't give a damn about what really happened in Benghazi. They're more concerned about their Obamaphone or iPhone5.

For the last 60 years, the US has taken the role of "global cop" as Europe receded upon itself and has lived comfortably under our shield. One must ask, who is going to take that role now that we are on the verge of giving it up? Russia? China?

Obama got that 3am phone call. He didn't care, and neither do most Democrats.

Jim Hlavac said...

BTW, on "free birth control" -- I note that one can pick up all the free condoms one desires at any gay bar or gathering spot -- paid for by gay folks' donations, not tax dollars (not allowed, that would be um, "promoting" gayness.) And, I have seen, in my time, more than a few young black men scurry in, furtively, and grab a handful, and rush out, so that they might do, um, their part. Win-win, I think, no? Perhaps that Ms. Fluke (or whatever her name is,) and her cohort should avail themselves of the freebies already available, and not ask for more.

John the Econ said...

The problem @Jim Hlavac, is that "free" is never "free enough" for people like Ms. Fluke. I have no idea of what method of birth control Ms. Fluke uses, but apparently it costs far more than a trip to the various locations where condoms can be found for the taking. At $3000-a-year, I can only assume that what she employs involves expensive machinery and third parties present, like anti-fertility voodo dancers on-site during coitus.

I can't say for certain, but I'm pretty sure that Ms. Econ & I haven't spent that much on birth control during our whole lives. I feel like I'm missing out on something.

JustaJeepGuy said...

About 20 years ago, I read a book called "How NATO Weakens The West". It was awfully easy for the European countries to blow their money on "goodies" when Uncle Sam made it so they didn't have to spend their money on defense. The European countries are just lucky that the USSR collapsed and Russia hasn't been able to get the bucks together to ride in to France and lay waste the land. Yet. I hope they realize they won't be able to call on Uncle Sam to bail them out again. Barack Hussein wouldn't allow it anyway.

Colby said...

So... the Congress can drag in an old, fat baseball player and rake him over the coals for maybe doing drugs back in '42, but "Oh darn, Patreus resigned; we can't touch him now..."! I'd love it if Gen. Patreus would voluntarily go before the American public and absolutely spill his guts about his ex boss.

@John Vecchio,
We appear to be in the same boat. I'm 60, going on death panel. I had a shitload in my 401k when I was 50, but it is gone. Son laid off, daughter laid off, 6 grandkids in school, failed construction business... I thank God I have a real full time job that pays pretty well, but retirement is only something I dream of; it will likely never happen.

@Jim Hlavac,
Ms. Fluke doesn't want (gasp!) condoms... how 1950's! She wants to screw her brains out "skin to skin" and have us pay for her monthly baby murders. Condoms just don't feel right.

What's the deal with all of these "withdraw from the union" petitions going around? Is this just another trick for the Whitehouse to get our email addresses or can states really tell the feds to go eff themselves?

Colby said...

By the way, I do not do Facebook or Twitter. Mrs. Colby just told me there is somebody on Twitter called Colby Limburger. I just wanted all my Hope'n'Change friends to know that this is not me (in case they say something stupid, which I NEVER do!).

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- Not only am I aware that we're now in a Socialist Democracy, I've just posted this video of Comrade Obama in recognition of the New Order.

The rest of your points are salient, accurate, and effing depressing.

@Jim Hlavac- I was going to say something pithy, but between furtive black men, Gay bars, free condoms, and Sandra Fluke my head exploded.

@John the Econ- Well most of Fluke's money goes to getting her escorts drunk. The actual hygiene is fairly cheap. And of course, it's always good to save some money for a rainy day in case you're punished with a fetus that needs killing.

@JustaJeepGuy- Our time as a superpower and global cop is over for all of the reasons you cite. I hope the world remembers to "thank" the American voters who made the coming global power shifts inevitable.

@Colby- I want Petraeus to be squeezed like a wet washrag for information, voluntarily or involuntarily. He's done great things for our nation, but by failing to keep his pants on he has betrayed us. I want answers, and I'm sorry that waterboarding is no long considered acceptable.

Regarding your comments for John Vecchio, I don't want to get into too many of my personal details - but we can all sing in the same choir.

Finally, the Whitehouse petitions about withdrawing from the union are bullcrap and I'm not signing. If, however, Texas (where I live) starts getting serious about seceding, I'm all for it. Not kidding in the least, either.

Necron99 said...

Disgusting, despicable, sickening, and a string of explication adjectives I can't use here!

Its ok for dimotards to wallow in debauchery while conservatives are expected to behave as model adults?!?!

This double standard for morality has got to stop. This is the fate of our nation as a respected world power for Christ's sake!

When will the sheeple wake the "F" up and realize that we cannot afford to allow our "so called" leaders to conduct the nations affairs like its an episode of "Jersey Shore" or "Keeping Up with the Kardashians"?

And speaking of "Low Brow High Drama", why hasn't the MSM been called to the floor for their yellow journalism?

"Remember Libya!" Should be our new "Remember the Maine!"

Queso Grande, now weeping like brie said...

Giving up on the Monroe Doctrine is another sad event in a sad period in America's decline.
As for Benghazi, I just returned from Spring Lake Heights; home of the 1,000 square foot bungalow, picking up my generator I let an old college friend borrow. I called to check on him, and when he told me he was still out of power several days before the election, well there was no way I was gonna let his kids go cold, so into the car and off I went.
Ray is a 2nd gen. Iron worker Union Rep. He knows darn well I am a conservative.
When he asked me how I was, my reply was..."As well as can be expected." He wondered aloud as to why.
I said:
"Tyrone Woods.
Sean Smith.
Glenn Doherty.
These are the names of the Americans that BHO sat and watched on live video feed as they were slaughtered at the Benghazi embassy....and did nothing. And he was re-elected."
Ray was not even the least little bit aware of what I was talking about.
Not even a little bit.
But you know damn well he was out organizing for Barack. And all his fellow ironworkers.
I hope they all suffer 4 full years of unemployment.
I feel like a fool for giving him the use of my generator.
I feel like a stranger in my own Country.

John the Econ said...

@Necron99, the Democrats own the gutter, and are proud to do so, even to the point of exclaiming "Jump all in, the sewage is just fine!"

I saw we let them own it. Conservatives will always be held to a higher standard, and we should be proud to do so.

@Queso Grande, to the extreme left, they are just collateral damage on the road to utopia. As long as this isn't happening at any of their favorite vacation spots, they're okay with it. The left only cares about the Middle East as much as it can be used as talking points against the GOP. Nothing more.

John the Econ said...

Cute @Stilton. And it's a shame that JibJab doesn't do one where you can throw people under a bus, or watch them be executed by Al Qaeda operatives.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Necron99- I don't think the sheeple are going to wake up, for the simple reason that they don't want to. In this election cycle, we probably lost the moment Mitt Romney declared that he would help create jobs instead of just passing out goodies.

@Queso Grande- Great, if saddening, post. Those on the Left don't even know what the hell we're talking about. Those dead Americans are figments of our tortured imaginations. Obama's lackey Stephanie Cutter told the world that the deaths in Benghazi wouldn't even be a real story were it not for crazy Republicans trying to politicize another successful 9/11 terror attack.

And you capture the feeling exactly by saying you "feel like a stranger in my own Country." Yes. Exactly.

@John the Econ- The reason we stick with our moral principles is not to please or impress others, but to show respect for ourselves and those around us. It's something the Left can't possibly understand.

And per your comment to Queso Grande, even Barack Hussein Obama referred to our dead as "bumps in the road." And as many people as he's thrown under his huge black bus, that's got to be a pretty familiar feeling for him.

Regarding fun videos of people being executed, JibJab doesn't have them, but you can order them from JibJazeera.

Necron99 said...

@John the Econ & R. J, The comment about sheeple waking up was rhetorical. I know they don't want to leave their VR comfort of The Matrix. That would require them to actually think for themselves. And let's face it, these maggots don't want anything they have to work for.

I thank God I grew up on a farm working from 04:30 until after dark, learning to fix or repair things when they broke, growing most of our staples and learning to plan ahead for the rough times. I remember when Carter lackeys came to our community trying to get us to "stop production and go on gubbamint subsidy". I also remember how we as a community said, "Go 'F' yourself and get off our land while you can still walk."
I also remember lines at the gas pumps, housing projects filling up, and the beginning of the end of classical education in public schools.

Back then we had little things like pride, common courtesy, common decency, and respect for our fellows. Welfare was for the shiftless & lazy.

To borrow from Nietzsche; back then a dimocrap was an 'ape or a thing of shame'. In my mind, they still are, and will always be.

George said...

331,000 more Romney votes over four swing states would have given Mitt the presidency. Yet, 2 1/2 million less people voted for him than McCain in 2008! Not to mention O got around 10 million less votes than in'08. Apparently, even MANY repubs feel that O is the lesser of two evils? So they deserve what they get as well. It's a real shame that so many of us will be flushed right along with them.

CenTexTim said...

An old friend came to visit this weekend. He is highly educated, intelligent, and liberal (I know, I know...).

We agreed beforehand not to discuss politics. But this morning CNN was on the tube. They had a story on Petraeus, and tied that into speculation about the Benghazi affair. He made a casual comment about how he really hasn't followed the Benghazi story, but didn't see what all the fuss was about: "After all, things like that happen all the time in that part of the world."

I bit my tongue and added a dose of 'coffee' to my coffee.

Cookie said...

Have we reached "the day the music died"? American Pie sure doesn't have the same meaning any more. In fact, America doesn't seem the same anymore, does it. "When the wicked rule, the people mourn." I've been in mourning for a long time now.

Pete D said...

We, as a nation, have GOT to quit penalizing success, and rewarding bad behavior.

Discussing once w/ some associates, I suggested that public housing should be barracks, food stamps be replaced w/ mess halls, and recipients of such largesse be required to put in 50 hours of labor, according to ability - scrub floors, watch kids, run the mess hall, etc..
Protests ensued - "but NO one would WANT to live like THAT!!!"
Que evil grin - "Precisely"

Another thought WRT the parasites who contribute nothing. There is a word for requiring others to work for you w/o recompense or benefit.

George, 300,000 votes is close enough to steal - I utterly fail to understand why there is not howling at the heavens for a full manual recount, EVERY precinct, EVERY VOTE. R's HATED "McLame", people were fired UP for Romney - who the effing hell is BUYING that 3M *fewer* voters turned out? We *need* to re-vamp the electoral process. 1) come up w/ a method that is SECURE. More important than easy, fast, or convenient, we need SECURITY. 2) purge *all* voter rolls, make people re-register 3) only taxpayers can vote. At least the parasites will be unable to vote their own raises...

Oh, the "word" I was thinking of, above? It's "slavery" and it's SUPPOSED to be illegal...

John the Econ said...

@Necron99, and did you notice that all the farmers and businesses that took government advice were doomed?

Am I the only one fascinated by how the media only discovered the "fiscal cliff" the day after the election? Now they can't shut up about it.

It's not like it wasn't on the calendar.

Earl said...

@John the Econ. I'm surprised you didn't hear my screaming all the way from Texas when I both read and heard ad nauseum about the "fiscal cliff" the day after this (still to me) fraudulent election. And while I'm still in grief mode about our fiscal future, fate has to punch me in the stomach with the whole Petraus fiasco. Now we DO have news to report. Too early in the day to drink. Damn

Reiuxcat said...

Great discussion, as always here. Thanks Stilton and friends.

CenTexTim said...

As if the media belatedly discovering the fiscal cliff, ignoring the feeble FEMA response to Sandy, and getting distracted by l'affair Petraeus wasn't bad enough, now we have the possibility of John Kerry becoming SecDef.

What's next? Jane Fonda as head of the VA?

@Earl - I don't know what part of Texas you're in, but where I am it is definitely not too early to drink. It's either that or do the whole duct-tape-my-head thing...

REM1875 said...

Necron- exactly- the last election was truly right from the matrix- do you to take the red pill or the blue pill? over half stayed to power the matrix.
crap weasel relieved me of the burden of how to invest my 401k like many of the rest of you.

Queso - You did right loaning him you generator, conservative's try not making children suffer for the stupidity of their parents. We are also known for actual good works, vs others who demand recognition and praise for their good intentions.

CenterTex Jim move to Texas and away from Austin (dallas or houston )and you will be surprised. You will have trouble even finding liberals let alone having to befriend them.

Earl said...

@Cen Tex Jim. Moved to Plano over twenty years ago for the great public school system. So did an amazing mix of ethnicities. Lots of hard-working Asians (Chinese, Indian, Japanese, etc.) and a fair share of Middle Easterners. Sad to say, these hard working high achievers hold conservative values and vote Democrat. (Still more of us than them so we're still a "red" city.) But I would love a Bobby Jindal to capture their attention.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Necron99- Fine post with a painful amount of truth in it. And I think your statement "back then we had little things like pride, common courtesy, common decency, and respect for our fellows" cuts the deepest.

@George- I'm baffled by the low turnout on our side. I think many "conservatives" decided to get some free goodies while they still could - and others have simply lost so much hope that they thought voting was a lost cause (a damnably self-fulfilling prophecy). This country should be ashamed of itself.

@CenTexTim- Apparently he doesn't remember (or care?) that "things like that" also happen in far off places like New York.

@Cookie- Man, "the day the music died" feels about right these days. It may be time to add a sad final verse to that song.

@Pete D- I heartily agree with everything in your post. Celebrate achievement, make welfare available but not desirable, and investigate the preposterous election returns which stink on ice.

And, oh yes, let's start using the word slavery again to describe forcing people to work without recompense.

@John the Econ- It was a busy news week following the election. Suddenly things like the Fiscal Cliff, Iranian Nukes, Sex Scandals, and skyrocketing Food Stamp use were all "discovered" at the same time.

@Earl- Following Obama's reelection, we're into Sanity Savings Time: you can set your drinking clock ahead to 5 pm whenever needed.

@Reiuxcat- You're welcome!

@CenTexTim- Kerry would make a great Secretary of Defense because he's got all of those terrific stories about collecting ears from the dead "Charleys" our sadistic troops murdered in Nam. (Hey look! It's 5 o'clock!)

@REM1875- At this point, for me it's not so much the red pill or the blue bill, but what I can wash it down with.

@Earl- I'm completely baffled by the ethnicities you mention who seem to have very conservative personal values but then vote with the Democrats (which I've observed too). Maybe making Bobby Jindal a bigger star in the conservative firmament might help (although he deserves to be a star simply because he's such an impressive man).

REM1875 said...

Earl had to spend a few days over in plano when they cut and sawed on my darling wife a few weeks ago. Nice pretty area, yes, very diverse but how in the heck do you deal with that traffic? Scared the bejeebers out of us hicks. Still not sure how the tollway works.

JustaJeepGuy said...

@Pete D, I agree with you that those who don't pay income tax shouldn't be permitted to vote, but remember the 24th Amendment: The right of citizens of the United States to vote... shall not be denied or abridged... by reason of failure to pay any poll tax or other tax." Maybe we can come up with a rule that anyone whose sole source of income is the government can't vote. Like government employees. Although that would eliminate a lot of people on Social Security, so there needs to be some kind of filter there. I don't know what, but something.

Colby said...

2016 - Jindahl / Love. What oh what would the dumbass libs do if that was the ticket? I think Bobby J. is freaking awesome, and throw in a conservative black female running mate...

I don't entertain any ideas that this ticket will ever happen, but I can dream.

And I still think the new Sec. of State is going to be Colin Powell.

Kerry - Sec. of Defense? Gag... At least it would get him out of the Senate... What would happen if old Lurch quit the Senate and got replaced by Scott Brown? Huzzah!

JustaJeepGuy said...

@Colby, Powell was Sec. of State once. Would he take the job again? I doubt it. But I refuse to predict anything the Demo_Rats might do.

REM1875 said...

Lurch as secretary of defense, the delicious irony of that. For over 40 years he's been trying to prove the yellow streak down his back is not yellow. (yes I will give him credit for serving and for his 4 1/2 months in viet nam, I only wish that the dems had done the same for Bob Dole's several months of combat during WWII, which according to the dems 'was not long enough' despite him being so severely wounded while trying to help another wounded soldier, it took 3 years to partially recover and left him crippled for life. The dems got a pretty big laugh out of that injury when it caused him to stumble and fall.)
It's what Kerry did after his controversial early departure from Vietnam that deserves everlasting scorn.
Too bad code pink and the leftist loons won't give kerry a taste of what he did to others during Vietnam. But war is good, just and noble just so long as there is a democrat in the white house. I would love to see that rat pr*ck b*stard face hoards of filthy, screaming, leftist scumbuckets and a lying media drag him through the slime as he tried to protect this nation and our allies.
Mrs REM1875 is whipping spittle off me and the screen and trying to get me to take medication. She says I can come back and play on my tab after my nap but I am pretty sure she wants me out of earshotThat while she calls the V.A. again

Colby said...

I know it's a stretch, but I can think of no other reason Powell abandoned his conservative roots to go over the the Dark Side than he wants a cabinet post. And talk about a feather in BO's cap...

I also like the idea of only allowing the people who pay the bills to pick leaders, BUT... there are 25 million people out of work in the US. I figure at least half of those are perfectly happy with us supporting them ,but the other half are victims of BO's horrible business policies. These folks really badly want to be working (and therefore paying taxes), but they are screwed. This slice of the citizenry should also be allowed to choose, but how to weed out the loafers is a real puzzle. I would venture to guess that the ones who really want to work are out there busting ass to bring in money of their own, like working 7 different little part time jobs. The others are laying around the house watching TV, playing WOW, and drinking beer.

Necron99 said...

@Dr. J, fellow posters, I fear we are relics of a bygone age. I fear we precious few who still hold the four chief virtues of Duty, Honor, Loyalty, & Integrity towards our nation and fellow man as a life long commitment have been supplanted by the barbarian hoard who only value doing what is most advantageous for themselves at the moment.

Theodocius has moved the throne to Ravenna, Goths & Huns occupy the Capitoline Hill, and Constantinople has cut off all ties with the West. Still I stand my watch on the Rhine and dream of the glorius days of the Republic.

John the Econ said...

Well, look at the upside. Had Romney won, we'd now be barraged daily about the plight of the homeless, of which there are now more than ever thanks to Obama. Fortunately, we'll be spared that for another 4 years...

JustaJeepGuy said...

Yeah, but will the LSM ever pin the blame for the next 4 years exactly where it lies? Or will they go along with their new messiah and blame Bush to the bitter end? As though I need to ask.....

Queso Grande, now weeping like brie said...

Thanks to all for the encouragement and fellowship. Much needed now.
Lost the Verizon, waiting for the tech I popped in "The Patriot". Cried like a baby for what we fought so hard for and our now tossing away. But the resolve of the patriots portrayed, and the internal anguish they went thru thinking of the risk/reward and yet coming out on the side of freedom, liberty and law. Helped.
Of course, all I have to do is look outside my window and I get depressed again......too many remaining signs for the Wan.
And I live on Washington's Crossing Road.
All above are right, the left rejects, abjures and denies our Birthright in the name of (the attainment and retention of) Power.

Democrat/Progressive/Leftist Delenda Est