Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Fried Rice

Readers- No official cartoon today (yes, the publication schedule here is pretty chaotic lately - even I don't know when I'm publishing or not. I'm still supposed to be taking Mondays and Wednesdays off, but it's hard to go cold turkey). But that doesn't mean we can't still have some random fun amidst the confusion.

With that in mind, and Susan Rice's "less than satisfactory" testimony yesterday about her clear attempts to mislead the American public on the terrorist murders in Benghazi (for purely political purposes), we present the following hard-to-swallow image...

And for no reason other than it tickled me (and will honk off liberals), here's a short video suggested by reader and frequent commentor Colby, who had an excellent idea for updating Barry Soetoro's second-term presidential anthem! And it will also make a great ringtone for Obamaphones!

"And along with the presents you asked for, there will be LOTS of surprises!"


WMD said...

"Here Comes Santa Clause", that's freakin' awesome. 'bout threw up my oatmeal.

Pete(Detroit) said...

AWESOME!!! I remember 'Wacky Packets' from when I was young, stickers featuring this kind of twist on common products - "Vomit" cleanser, for instance... but this is just TOO good!

Ya know, I clicked in thinking 'no way - but at least there'll be "Johnny" and yet, here we go! SCHWEET!!!

On a less humorous side, anyone else see this, about Iran having blueprints for a 50KT nuke? Not "huge" as nukes go, but big enough. And makes it kinda tough to keep playing the 'only for peaceful power, really!' card...

Anonymous said...

That this criminal excuse for an administration can get away with such cynical lying and manipulation says more about the morons who kept Obama in the WH than about the admin itself, it's just mind boggling.

Gang of One said...

The anonymous post above was me. Hate when that happens ...

Necron99 said...

Right you are sir! And try braoching these topics with one of his 0-drones. I had one the other day actually put a new twist in his defense of dear leader; he asked me if I could name one good thing 0 has done for the country. After I recovered from my fit of hysterical laughter, I responded that even if he had done one, or even a couple of good things for the country, it (they) would in no way, shape, or form make up for all the destructive things he & his cronies had done that were bad for the country.

He just sniffed his little effite sniff and said, "All you Republicans are the same."

My response; I called him a RACIST!!!

Then he really caved. LOL

Colby said...

Boy, you really ARE a racist! Why, I'll bet you have a white robe, a noose, and a pointy hat hanging in your closet. I loved the Rice package and the video, and thanks for the by-line! Rush caught holy hell for the Santa Clause thing, so watch your back for incoming drones.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@WMD- Colby's idea sounded so good that I just had to see if I could cobble the bits together. I'm hoping that it gets a little traction on the Web.

@Pete(Detroit)- I indeed remember Wacky Packets, back when "Wacky" was intended to be funny rather than governmental policy.

Regarding the Wednesday post, I realize I'm blowing my credibililty by not sticking to the new, more restrictive schedule. But gosh darn it to blankety-heck, I'm finding it difficult to not take potshots when I think of them. And for that matter, the camaraderie around here is pretty addictive too.

Regarding Iran, you're obviously forgetting that Biden said, during the debates, that it doesn't matter how much uranium Iran enriches because creating a delivery vehicle is impossible for them. And gosh, Joe knows everything except for where he is at any given moment, or how to find his way home.

@Gang of One- On last night's news, I saw that little crapweasel Jay Carney saying that there's not a single unanswered question on Benghazi. It's one thing to lie for a living, but entirely unacceptable to lie about a matter of such importance.

Personally, I'm increasingly leaning to the belief that the "videotape" cover story was knowingly used by the administration as a lie for political reasons- but not just because (or even primarily) to safeguard B. Hussein's claim that he had all but destroyed Al-Qaeda. Rather, there are reports that Obama and the CIA were using Stevens and the Benghazi consulate to give tons of arms to Al-Qaeda and the Muslim Brotherhood to use to fight in Syria... and Barry knew that "arming Al-Qaeda" wouldn't help his re-election chances.

@Necron99- In complete honesty, I would be unable to come up with even one good thing B. Hussein has done while in office (or any other parts of his life that I'm aware of). The closest to a "good thing" would be the death of bin Laden, but I remain convinced that he didn't make it happen - he and Valerie Jarrett were just unable to stop the final mission.

@Colby- As long as conservatives are being called racists anyway, I certainly see no reason to tiptoe around obvious (and non-racial) jokes like "Uncle Benghazi's Rice." And as far as catching hell for calling Obama Santa Claus, I'm almost sure it's the nicest thing I've ever called him...

Earl said...

Well, I'm stumped trying to come up with something funny to say about brown rice. I don't want to be called racist.

Dick said...

Should have been brown rice.

I nearly wet myself when "Here Comes Santa Claus" played.

Irene Peduto said...

@SJ - hope the video does go viral - it is O's mantra, isn't it? As for the Benghazi gun-running operation to supply Al-Qaeda American provided weapons, this will be hidden at any & all costs - & the MSM will provide all of the cover they need.
Jay Carney - lies & lies - just as Susan Rice did to protect their leader & his hidden (as opposed to transparent) motives.
@Necron99 - love your response - when confronted with that remark, I just say I'm speaking about his white half. It gets more & more ridiculous.

rickn8or said...

Like to point out that like that proverbial Drunken Sailor, Santa Claus is giving away his own stuff, rather than redistributing yours and mine.

Also, "decimate" does not equal "destroy"; it means "one-in-ten."

How come Rice hasn't told the same story twice?

Irene Peduto said...

@SJ - thanks for your Wed. contribution!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Earl- Nah, the joke falls apart with brown rice. And I didn't know if enough people were familiar with "dirty rice" to go there, either.

@Dick- I considered brown rice, white rice, dirty rice, boiled rice, instant rice, puffed rice and more. I was starting to feel like Bubba Gump describing the many ways to enjoy shrimp.

And I've got to admit that I've watched the "Here Comes Santa Claus" clip several times myself - it still gives me a laugh.

@Irene Peduto- There's no telling when something will truly go viral; I've never accomplished it but keep thinking "the next joke may do it."

On a more serious note, unless someone really produces smoking gun type evidence, I don't think the MSM would ever allow the story of Barry arming Al-Qaeda to be told. After all, they covered up his arming of the Mexican drug cartels.

@rickn8or- In fairness, Santa can afford to give away his own stuff because there are so few people who've been good all year. The government, on the other hand, has a MUCH bigger list of recipients.

And Rice hasn't told the same story twice because she's lying, and the lies need to be reshaped every time new evidence comes to light.

Chuck said...

"Perfect every Crime". Had to squint for that one, but glad I did ... yuck, yuck, yuck!

@Stilton, I think I can speak for most folks here: you post whenever you feel like it and we'll be here to devour it. And yes, the comraderie of this place is almost as awesome as your posts!

Cookie said...

Until the GOP can figure out how to campaign against Santa Clause, they don't stand a chance! The post today is outstanding as usual. I, too, clicked on my icon "just in case." I was delighted to see this. It's a good mid-week laugh which we need any time during the week to keep us all from gasping for air as we weep uncontrollably. A good laugh is good medicine, and you keep us going, SJ.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Chuck- I'm glad you squinted. I like to leave no turd unstoned.

@Cookie- Believe me, the beneficial effects flow both ways. It's easier for all of us to laugh in the company of friends!

Colby said...

More tunes...
O Money Tree
White Christmas (You Racist Honky!)
It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Russia
Grandma Got Run Over by a Black Bus
Fleece Navidad
Do you Smell What I Smell
All I Want for Christmas is Two Trillion Bucks
McCain’s Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire
Ding Dong Merrily, Joe’s High


SusieBee said...

Love "Uncle Benghazi"! Seriously funny, Stilton!

Looks like Colby's struck gold again with more holiday (can't call them Christmas) tunes - I predict a guaranteed best selling album by the Hope n' Change Singers (available on iTunes, perhaps?).

BTW - Colby introduced me to this blog years ago, and I continue to read it to help me make sense of all the insanity!

Gang of One said...

@Colby -- Fleece Navidad ... you owe me a new monitor.

@Stilton -- The story keeps getting better and better. Why, in fact, does Hillary Clinton still have a cabinet position? And why are we even spending as much time worrying about who becomes SecState and not the endemic defects in the entire foreign policy of Foggy Bottom?

queso Grande, now with nuts! said...

Everything about this Administration, and it's followers so clearly defines the term....."Willfull blindness".
I speak to these Obots and nothing comes out but the most banal, insipid defenses or justifications. It's so damn frustrating! Banning tampons!

As for the Rice box......What is white and crawls up yer' leg?

Uncle Ben's Perverted Rice.

I slayed them in elementary school......

Gonna go watch the video, enjoy the evening and talk at y'all soon........

graylady said...

@stil: Thanks for posting on a somewhat irregular schedule. After a day like today (10 long, hard hours) finding a new H&C cartoon is like a special surprise.

@colby: perverted Christmas songs..... Thank heavens I covered the front of my monitor with saran wrap and put a cardboard box over my pc. Probably saved myself $800.

Anonymous said...

Hate to disagree, however according to Merriam-Webster decimate also means to cause great destruction.

Necron99 said...

@Stilton J, thank you sir for all your efforts! I will take whatever you deem worthy to give. I would rather receive one weekly brilliantly concise crystallization of the real issues our besieged republic is facing, than none at all. Which by the way is what the MSM gives us..., none at all! That you feel compelled to bestow more than that is only gravy on the meat of your initial publication! Again, I thank you.

Irene, Irene, my sweet Irene... (Sorry, I couldn't help paraphrasing Randall Flagg!)

Believe me madame, it is an exercise the proportion of the patience of Job when personaly dealing with these benighted 0-drones. We need not continually remind ourselves that these confrontations bear more resemblance to playground argument than actual adult discourse. When faced with having to provide a real answer the 0-drone will invariably fall back to "I know you are, but what am I?" grade school tactics. And so..., as my old philosophy professor used to say, "We must be missionaries of enlightenment. When speaking to the ignorant, first discern their language and then adapt your's to verbage they can understand. Only then may you reach them on a level they may comprehend."

And as to any 0 appointments? We all know the parade of stooges, shills, sycophants, obfuscators, hacks, and incompatants that will be offered up. Race or gender is hardly the issue..., ability and integrity..., and dare I say patriotism? Those qualities, are the real issue. And as we have seen, followers of the Prince of Fools distain those higher virtues. As his previous apointees to other high offices have proven, they are more than willing to sacrafice their own dignity in order to rob "We the People" of our's.

"There was once a dream that was the United States of America. You could only whisper it. Anything more than a whisper and it would vanish... it was so fragile. And I fear that it will not survive the winter."

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Colby- Last night, I cobbled together the cover of "A Barry Merry Christmas" and listed some of your song titles (and a number of my own). It will turn up online when we get a bit closer to Christmas.

@SusieBee- Now I desperately want to assemble the Hope n' Change Singers. I wonder if I can find some nice red, white and blue choir robes?

@Gang of One- You're sadly correct that it's nearly a moot point who the Secretary of State will be if Obama is still directing our foreign policy. We're hosed whoever he chooses.

@queso Grande- Regarding your riddle, I was going to guess Chris Matthews- but your answer is funnier.

@graylady- For all the good my announcement of a new schedule has done, I've missed precisely one day so far. Not exactly the new life of leisure and entrepreneurial productivity I was envisioning. But hey, we'll figure it out together.

@Anonymous- "Decimate" can also be your tenth spouse.

@Necron99- Thanks for the nice words.

Regarding talking to Obama supporters, I frankly try not to. It's not just that they lack intelligence - I've got a good friend with Down syndrome and we have long and enjoyable conversations. But Obama's supporters aggressively resist facts and logic and become agitated and angry when you ask them to think. So I'm still working on how to develop the language which will allow me to be one of those "missionaries of enlightenment," though as more Obama supporters lose their health insurance or jobs because of Obamacare, we may finally be able to talk.

Finally, you're right of course that all of Obama's appointees will be disastrously bad. It's critical to his self-image that he's always "the smartest man in the room," and that can only be accomplished in a room filled with idiots and synchophants.

Irene Peduto said...

@Necron99 - Majored in philosophy in college - what was I thinking? Anyway, yes - always speak with a person rather than AT one. The discourse must always be a tempered one - still & yet, when dealing with these libs, progressives, union people, educators, the cool, the elite, the celebrities, the wanna-bees, there is no common sense as a common ground. The quote - was chillingly beautiful. Where is it from? Also I don't know of Randall Flagg - will have to google these gems of yours - unless you get back to this blog & actually reply.
@SJ Of course I'm soooo looking forward to your "A Barry Merry Christmas". Your wit always impresses me.
@Colby - your "holiday" titles are terrific! They remind me of song titles by Ray Stevens. His music speaks of integrity or the lack of it.
@Gang of 1 - You are so right about the particular choice whether Susan Rice or any other O Drone - with the complicity of the MSM and all others intent on the ultimate destruction of the USA as it was known PO (Pre-Obama).

Necron99 said...

@Irene P., I majored in history & minored in philosophy. Randall Flagg actually is a rather nasty character in Steven King's novel The Stand. The actusl line is, "Nadine, Nadine, my sweet Nadine." And the closeing quote is Marcus Aurelius - just substitue Rome for where I inserted USA.

Necron99 said...

@Irene P., I majored in history & minored in philosophy. Randall Flagg actually is a rather nasty character in Steven King's novel The Stand. The actusl line is, "Nadine, Nadine, my sweet Nadine." And the closeing quote is Marcus Aurelius - just substitue Rome for where I inserted USA

Irene Peduto said...

@Necron99 - I know - I Googled them right after my comment to you. I read King's novels & thought of the Flagg character but had forgotten his name. Still his name evoked fear in me - on the other hand, Marcus Aurelius? What a contradiction in men. You sound like a philosopher, actually.