Friday, January 10, 2014

Full Office, Empty Head



Seriously, I'm finally cleaning out decades of old paperwork in my office and by the time I cracked my knuckles and settled in to create today's cartoon, I discovered that my mind had turned to mush while deciding what will stay, what will go, and "what laid eggs in this box?!" (answer: strange, translucent little lizards)

So I'm giving myself the day off, but the comment section is open for business as usual. Among possible topics which I considered for today before pouring some much-needed rotgut whiskey...

• Former Defense Secretary Robert Gates' new book in which he basically says that Obama deliberately squandered our hard won gains (and so many thousands of lives) in Iraq and Afghanistan because he wasn't interested in anything but his own domestic political fortunes. Which is why there's never been a better time to be one of America's enemies, or a worse time to be an ally.

• The media is eagerly declaring that Chris Christie is now unfit to run for president in 2016 because traffic was stalled on a bridge, but the same media has no problem whatsoever with the urgent security requests that got stalled - permanently - for the defense of our outpost in Benghazi. Christie is already firing people; no one from the State Department - including Hillary Clinton - was even disciplined.

• President Soetoro has declared that he's going to create "Promise Zones" in which our tax money will be used to create areas of magical economic growth where there is now only squalor. Our prediction: all the money will go to build new Acorn offices. And maybe some unicorn stables.

Sorry there's not more here today, but at least I'm making headway on cleaning up some of the crap I've generated over the years. If only our government could do the same...
-Stilton

UPDATE: Okay, I came up with something after all...

20 comments:

Gang of One said...

Elsewhere, I challenged some Leftoids by asking 'how many Americans died in the traffic jam?'. I received one reply telling me that indeed, a 91-year-old died, and squarely placed blame on the jam. As heartbreaking as any death may be, the woman did not pass away at home, or in the ambulance but in the hospital. Indeed, even her family members do not blame the traffic. But this death will be politicized by the same hacks and poltroons who refuse to accept the responsibility or point a finger at Obama, Hillary or Holder for their abuses and negligence.

Believe it or not, I actually live in Fort Lee, less than a mile from the bridge. The back-up because all trucks must use the upper level usually goes back as far as Exit 70 A/B in Teaneck on I 80-I 95 and Jones Road in Englewood on Rt. 4 on a good day — this prank was a stupid, petulant prick-headed thing to do, and Christie needs to own it, let the chips fall where they may. Tell you what MSM, et. al., we let you blood-frenzy Governor Krispy Creme, and you put Shrillary’s cankles to the fire over Benghazi. Deal?
*crickets*
**of course**

Colby said...

Stilton,
Congrats on the office cleaning! Let us know if you find Jimmy Hoffa's body, Al Capone's stash of money, or anything else that nobody will ever really find, like Barack Obama's conscience or concern for the poor.

As for the potential topics of discussion:

Robert Gates' book will be quickly swept under the rug by the MSM; they dare not discuss it lest they accidently shine the "self serving POS light" on their messiah.

Christie is last on my list of Republicans I'd like to see in the White House, but he is still roughly 3,157% better than the "I'm above the law" piece of crap we currently have. I actually refuse to believe Christie was personally involved in the Washington Bridge fiasco; he is smarter than that. And the guy took quick action to apologise and immediately fired the person who did it and lied to him about it.

It is my sincere wish that, when Dear Leader retires (the sooner the better), he will move to one of his "Promise Zones" to live in well fed comfort just like the people who already live there.

Dear Leader is going to bless us in NC with his holy presence next Wednesday, and no doubt the advance team is already in Raleigh picking the designated ring kissers. Why Raleigh? Because that area of the state has actually seen significant reductions in unemployment, it's a college town, and the center of our gubmint. Dear Leader NEVER visits the rural parts of NC; he'd find himself in a considerably different crowd.

Go Broncos!

IGnatius T Foobar said...

Have a great day, Stil ... here's something that popped into my head today, although I don't really know where to go with it --

By liberal standards, the 9/11 attackers were not terrorists; they were "undocumented guest demolition professionals."

Gang of One said...

@Colby -- Those "Promise Zones" will be the breeding grounds for Hunger Games contestants. Just you watch ...

Anonymous said...

Yes! A snow blower can shred paper as I discovered several years ago when our newspaper delivery was caught up in the snow blower that I was using to clear our driveway. We solved the problem of that ever happening a gain by cancelling the newspaper.

Marine4ever said...

Sheesh, Dr. J! I wish I could say (and DO) as much as you do in your non-post when you're taking the day off. Lots of good stuff today.

So... let's keep the fires burning about:

Gate's book.

The double standard the MSM plays with anything and anybody who might be remotely conservative. (Sorry, Colby, but Christie is not even on my list of who I'd like to see in the White House -- loooong before the Ft. Lee massacre.)

Obamohammad's 'Promise Zones.' AAARRGGHH! 'Promise Zones?' AAARRGGHH!

A list so long that it'd clog Dr. J's bandwidth.

John the Econ said...

Not problem @Stilton. You know we're always welcome to pick up the slack. Let's see...

The December "Jobs Report" came out a few minutes ago. Dismal, and contrary to the current "the economy is doing great" narrative out of the left. Particularly look at the "participation rate", which continues to shrink as people either give up, or continue to economically hibernate. Expect the Progressive narrative to blame it on "climate change".

Surprise, surprise: Robert Gates sez there are no adults in the Obama Administration. I guess it's nice that Robert Gates gets to make a few bucks from stating what most of us have known all along.

Is Chris Christie really "unfit" for the presidency by today's weak standard? So the Christie administration used the power of government to wield retribution against political opponents? Sounds like he's more than qualified to be President. After all, how big a step is it really from directing the toll booth authority to screw with people to directing the IRS to do the same?

Promise Zones? Seriously? What is sad is that it seems that most Americans have forgotten that before the Progressives took over Americana, this entire country used to be considered a "promise zone". It's why people came here in the first place; to escape oppressive government, to be free, and to thrive. I have no idea what they actually intend to happen in a "promise zone", but I doubt it will resemble anything that made this country great.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Christie - it's a screaming tragedy that he's even being considered... fat windy gasbag is soft on Islamist Terror, and a gun control advocate - and NOT the 'you control yours, I'll control mine' type.
Be nice to get a REAL governor that has some experience actually turning economy around, balancing budget, etc... Scott Walker of WI, and Rick Snyder of MI jump to mind (did you know that net 20,000 people have moved INTO MI in the past two years? Hot topic in Capitol City is what to do w/ $1B budget SURPLUS? Unemployment is low enough < 8% that we don't qualify for the 'emergency extended benefits' even if they ARE renewed? )
Oh, and let's hope that d-bag of a stereotypical TX politician Rick Perry stays home, too.

"Promise Zones" - possibly similar to enterprise zones that have actually worked (somewhat) in Detroit - tax abatements, and such, to business in the designated area. Hey, here's a tip, lets cut taxes across the board, and turn EVERY place into an "enterprise zone"...
Jackasses.

And, finally, for a visual metaphor for this administration, here you go. I hate to suggest that anyone "enjoy" just an obvious tragedy, but I just can't stop watching it...

http://wwsick.com/cctv-cameras-capture-5-minutes-of-carnage-as-the-hwy-4145-piles-up-into-a-giant-mess/

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@Anonymous #1: the DOJ nominee was clearly selected using the same standards as all of Ă˜bama's appointees to date. That there is a troubling past there that offends the sensibilities of the majority of civil society is, I believe, part of that criteria.

@Stilton: Now just where in the hell do you plan to find a snowblower in Texas?

Reiuxcat said...

Your translucent lizard are geckoes, but I bet you already knew that fact.

Are you still waiting for one to offer you cheap insurance?

John the Econ said...

Oh my, I couldn't let a context-free day at H&C go without another ObamaCare dig:

Surprise! Walmart health plan is cheaper, offers more coverage than Obamacare

http://washingtonexaminer.com/article/2541670

"For many years, the giant discount retailer has been the target of unions and liberal activists who have harshly criticized the company's health care plans, calling them “notorious for failing to provide health benefits” and "substandard.”"

But a Washington Examiner comparison of the two health insurance programs found that Walmart's plan is more affordable and provides significantly better access to high-quality medical care than Obamacare.


How sad is that? Even Walmart outdoes subsidized ObamaCare?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Gang of One- The idiocy with the bridge needs to be treated like the crime it is (and indeed, Eric Holder is taking time off from stoking a race way to look into federal criminal charges) but that being said, this whole incident is trivial compared to the real scandals of the Obama administration. As the Wall Street Journal observes, compared to the IRS abuse scandal, this is jaywalking.

But speaking of problems with bridges, when I heard that Fallujah had recently fallen, I couldn't help but remember the first time I heard of the city: when the bodies of American contractors were hung on a bridge there. Now, Obama has let the same murderers retake the city - but nobody seems to care.

@Colby- So far, I've found no bodies in the clutter. And again I emphasize "so far"...

Gates' book is odd because he seemingly rips Barry a new one, but then wraps up the book saying that all of the president's decisions turned out to be right. I'm not sure if that's a "balanced" view or a schizophrenic one.

I'm not nuts about Christie either, though I'd take him in a heartbeat over B. Hussein. It'll be interesting to see how the bridge fiasco plays out.

Much like Martin Luther King Jr, who couldn't make it to "the promised land" with his flock, Barry is unlikely to join anyone in a "promise zone" anytime soon.

And when I hear that Barry is visiting North Carolina, I can't help but think of the reaction he'd get if visiting Andy Griffith's Mayberry. Oh sure, they'd be cordial to the president - but he'd still probably end up in a jail cell with Barney explaining the rules at The Rock ("Rule one - obey all the rules").

@IGnatius T Foobar- Liberals are great at renaming things to sound better. And when Conservatives complain, we're accused of anti-semanticism.

@Anonymous- Assuming that the newspaper wasn't the Wall Street Journal, you surely made a good call.

@Marine4Ever- Yeah, there's no lack of things to talk about today (I fear there never will be a lack under this administration). I just didn't have the mustard to really focus on a single topic and present it in a pithy way.

Mark Twain summed it up nicely when he said "I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead."

@John the Econ- The jobless participation rate is indeed godawful. Obama's greatest success (on paper anyway) with the job numbers has been in creating a well-founded sense of Hopelessness among those who no longer work.

Reagarding Gates' book, I feel like it should have been titled "Water is Wet, The Sky is Blue, Obama is a Useless Political Hack." In other words, a book with no new information.

On Chris Christie, I'm frankly dismayed at how quickly the conversation has turned to "can he still be the Presidential nominee?" I wish the Left-leaning media would stop picking our candidates, and I further wish that those on the Right would quit falling for it.

And you absolutely nail it when you say this entire country used to be considered a "promise zone."

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Pete(Detroit)- I agree with your possible choices for better presidential candidates. And while I like a number of things about Rick Perry as governor of my home state, I don't want him anywhere near the presidential race.

You then put your finger on a key difference between "enterprise zones" and "promise zones" - one is founded on enterprise, and the other on an Obama promise. I think we all know how that plays out.

Finally, the video of cars sliding into each other was appallingly fascinating. Just looking at that ice slick highway, I was dumbfounded by how many jackasses were taking it at normal highway speed...leading to their quickly obtaining a better understanding of Newton's laws of motion.

@Emmentaler Limburger- Actually, I nuked the post by Anonymous Troll #1 (it had previously been the top post). That being said, I certainly wouldn't have to say anything "vile" about Barry's DOJ nominee to say that he's a bad pick.

And you can definitely buy snowblowers in Texas. They don't get used much, but we just love machines with gas-guzzling, smoke-producing, environment-destroying internal combustion engines!

@Reiuxcat- I think they're geckoes, but I'm not entirely sure. Although I am sure that I'd trust any of them with my insurance more than I trust this president with it.

@John the Econ- Imagine that, private enterprise offering a better healthcare solution than big government. Will wonders never cease?

It makes me think of another oft-overlooked item: at almost any pharmacy these days, people can get their generic medications for about $4 for a one month supply, or $10 for a three month supply. It's a crazy good bargain - but which hugely expensive government program do we have to thank for it?

Oh yeah- NONE. Because the prices came down because of competition on the free market.

It's No Gouda said...

Pete: Holy cats! I'm very familiar with the stretch of road in the video; both from my old days haulin' steel through that area and my annual trips to a friend's cabin in the western U.P. I did notice that all the "big-riggers" made it thru the fuster-cluck tho I'm not sure how the "bob-tails"(no trailer)did it. There aren't too many things looser on slick pavement than a "bobtail".

rickn8or said...

S'all right about the lack-of-cartoon; I understand Stevie Ray Vaughan missed a note here and there also.

Comments and responses are almost as good.

But I'm callin' bullshit on "Christie not knowing." NOTHING and aide operating at that level does is without the Gov's knowledge and consent; this is an area where "initiative" is not authorized. AND as the man in charge, it's his job to know what's going on. I'm sure the ex-military among us are familiar with "win, lose or draw, you're responsible for your subordinate's behavior. Hell, I've even gotten chewed in California for something one of my troopers did when he was in Hawaii.

Christie wasn't on my radar for President even before Bridgeghazi because of his public fellatio of Teh iWon and his position on gun control, so no loss there.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@It's No Gouda- For the most part, I don't recall seeing any truckers enter that stretch going insanely fast. They apparently knew better (and, riding high, had better sight lines).

@rickn8or- This is one of those days where I feel like the regulars here say "We'll bring the beer, Stilt - you just set out some pretzels" and it still turns into a party.

Regarding Christie, I really don't know whether he was involved or not, though will certainly be interested in finding out. And I'm pretty tired of people in power "taking responsibility" by beginning an investigation to see who can be blamed. Truly taking responsibility should mean you fire everyone who needs to be fired, then resign for being a crappy manager of those people.

By which measure, Barry should resign from the White House about three times a week.

And like you, I've had problems with Christie ever since he got so palsy with Barry when he thought it could get him more/faster emergency funds for his state. There's nothing wrong with advocating for your people, especially when they're hurting, but Christie did a lot more ass-kissing than was necessary, and helped tip the election to B. Hussein. That's not something which I can easily forgive.

John the Econ said...

Oh, how did I forget about this one that I've been chomping-at-the-bit to scream about?

Grand Theft Disability -
Rampant abuse may soon require another taxpayer bailout:


http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702304347904579308712542669176?mod=djemBestOfTheWeb_h

Another good reason that the employment "participation rate" continues to drop; Fewer people needing to work simply because we're now paying millions more of them not to.

The up side to this phenomenon is that the ubiquitousness of social media combined with the stupidity of many of these supposedly "disabled" criminals makes it easier than ever to identify them as they post pictures and videos of themselves as they ride horses, jet-skis, or do karate and like activities on their perpetual taxpayer-paid vacations.

Strangely, other than for a few outspoken critics, Congress doesn't seem particularly excited or interested in doing anything about this.

It's stuff like this that contributes to my cynicism and makes me wonder if I'm the fool by wanting to continue to work and pay my own way in the world.

pry said...

I'm sure we'll all agree...it makes no difference WHAT BO says, or has said in the past...if it sounds good, and it usually does, he is LYING!!!!!

Glad to see Gates' book come out...WE all knew it since before his election, but the vast majority of Americans do not, and maybe his writings will reach a larger audience!

I relate, Stilt, I write songs, draw stuff, download stuff...my wife is in constant consternation about my messes!

GO, HnC CARTOONS!

Queso Grande said...

As for the Bridge fiasco, as a Jersey guy who has been political for decades, it smacks of Tsar Nicholas and 'who will rid me of this meddlesome monk?'.....the GWB is lucky it didn't get stabbed, shot poisoned and drowned.
I also am aware of the ego of some of his Cabinet level appointee's due to my involvement in politics. The arrogance level is sky high, and I do not put it past the players involved to make waves on their own. North Jersey-Hudson, Bergen, Union & Passaic counties are different. Recall that these counties GAVE Chicago their nascent gangsters and crooked pols' their initial schooling!! The PANY/NJ people all had links to power bases up there and it is very very likepy that CC had no idea as to the power plays being performed. He was kinda busy being courted by the LSM, doncha know.
Stilton, I have two words for ya' regarding the paper storm........

Fire Pit.

A good weekend to all, and to all a better week!!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- The abuse of the disability system is horrendous, and you're right - there seems to be very little incentive in Washington to curb the fraud. After all, Dems love putting people into government dependency whatever the excuse, and the GOP doesn't want to get blistered in the media for trying to "take money away from sick people."

Which is why I'd like to see a market-based solution: incentivise people to turn in disability frauds by offering the whistleblowers a substantial cut of the money saved and/or recovered.

And I couldn't agree more with your bottom line: after a while, doing the "right thing" sort of makes you feel like a putz when so many other people are gaming the system, and the government sides with them when taking your money.

@Pry- I'm really afraid that not many people will even care about the contents of Gates' book. Iraq, Afghanistan, Middle East, blah, blah, blah - what does it matter?

And regarding my messes, I've got a little wooden plaque here on my desk (uh, somewhere) that says "Creative Minds Are Rarely Tidy."

@Queso Grande- I definitely wonder about the "meddlesome monk" scenario, and will be interested in seeing how this plays out. Mostly, I'm just honked off that the Left has something so stupid to seize on in order to knock Obamacare out of the news cycle.

And yeah, a Fire Pit was a truly appealing idea; a lot of the paperwork I'm getting rid of is attached to some unpleasant memories and I wanted a more kinetic and viscerally enjoyable method of destruction rathen than simply watching the crap being hauled away for recycling. Sadly, my part of north Texas has a "burn ban" in effect so my catharsis is incomplete.