Friday, May 16, 2014

Head Gamesmanship

obama, obama jokes, cartoon, humor, political, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, conservative, hillary, clinton, brain damage, concussion, benghazi, foster

Presumptive Democrat presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has been in the news a lot this week, following an offhand remark by political strategist Karl Rove that she might have brain damage owing to a really, really convenient concussion she suffered which prevented her scheduled testimony at a Congressional hearing on the Benghazi debacle.

Rove has since walked back his comment, saying that Hillary Clinton may not be brain damaged, and that he was misled by unsubstantiated reports that she spends a lot of time muttering the word "Rutabaga" and laughing uncontrollably while she snaps her teeth at fart bubbles in the bathtub.

But questions persist, not in the least because Bill Clinton has now leaped into the fray to "clarify" matters - giving information completely at odds with what was previously the official story of damage to his wife's noggin.

According to the State Department,  Hillary took only 30 days to fully recover from a concussion and blood clot which were sustained in a fall that was, in all likelihood, completely unrelated to getting crap-faced drunk. Moreover, Hillary's doctor said there was no neurological damage.

But now, her alleged husband says that it took six months of hard work for Hillary to recover from her skull's collision with a hard object. "It was a terrible blow," said the former president, wishing he had a nickel for every time he had used the phrase as a critique to his wife.

But in the words of Hillary Clinton herself, "at this point, what difference does it make?" Even prior to her accident, she was the only human on Earth who didn't know her husband was diddling Monica Lewinsky. She told Sir Edmund Hillary that she was named after him, even though she was born before he climbed Mount Everest. Following the (ahem) "suicide" of White House lawyer Vince Foster, she was unable to comprehend and follow a simple police order to keep her freaking hands off of his private files - ordering her lackeys to loot the dead man's office.  And years later, she hallucinated snipers and gunfire when landing at an airport in Bosnia.

So for once, Hope n' Change actually agrees with Hillary. What difference does it make whether she is or was brain damaged, insane, astoundingly incompetent, or all of the above? She needs to leave the political stage once and for all, perhaps to spend time being a doting grandmother to daughter Chelsea's baby.

Incidentally, the baby's name, according to an informed source who used to be Secretary of State, will be "Rutabaga Rutabaga Rodham Rutabaga."

obama, obama jokes, cartoon, humor, political, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, conservative, hillary, clinton, brain damage, concussion, benghazi, foster


Anonymous said...

Aren't you, by attacking Hillary, perpetrating a war on women? Oh, wait, that's Bill doing the war on women thing. And is it me or was he fall down drunk when he said her recovery took six months? He looked absolutely toasted, or maybe he hit his head.

Snowpuss said...

Absolutely brilliant commentary. So very happy to see you back on top of your game.


TrickyRicky said...

It was a terrible blow...ha ha ha ha ha ha. Stilton, you're killin' me!

Seriously though, you are spot on. Brain damage, incompetence, or standard snarling lefty elitism, what difference does it make? Just go away and take Slick Willie with you.


John the Econ said...

I, for one, am sighing a bit of relief. I'm pretty sure that "Hillary 2016" is dead. Yeah, Democrats may secretly wish they'd chosen Hillary in 2008, and still thought that she's their best hope in 2016, but I think that endless looping of the "at this point, what difference does it make?" clip would have doomed her, along with the "3am phone call" bit. She finally got the 3am phone call, and just hung up. Not even the Clintons will be able to spin out of those.

If we should know anything about the Clinton's by now, it's that if their lips are moving, they're lying. I'm not big into conspiracy theories, but I could never shake the notion that Vince Foster was the one guy who knew where every Clinton skeleton was buried. And his suicide note was laughable, much less believable. And the investigation of his death was bogus as well.

But this is what really gets me: For some time now, American politics seems to be all about "dynasties"; think the Kennedys, the Bushes, then the Clintons. America fought to be free of Britain exactly because we didn't want that kind of government. And yet we seem to have a large percentage of the population that seems to want political royalty. I'm not sure why. But after 50-some-odd years of it, I say "Enough!".

Judi King said...

One of your best yet! I just hope the people who don't think before they vote see it. Another 8 years of a buffoon in chief will do me in.

lastrick said...

Great sarcastic always....I don't know how you get away with it...but keep it coming !

Colby Muenster said...

Absolute top notch post today; thanks! The "terrible blow" one made me thankful once again for my investment in a waterproof (coffee proof too) keyboard.

Yes, the Clintons need to go quietly retire, and sit around their house counting their money. Maybe Las Vegas, where the booze flows free (for her) and sex is for sale (for him).

Alas, though... there are entirely too many "rutababas" in this country that will knock each other out of the way to vote for this vile excuse for a human being. And to be honest, I really don't know why. She has all the same qualifications as O'Liar, but without the ability to deliver good speeches.

I pray your are right about "Hillary 2016." When I think of the options left to the left, I smile a bit.

Geoff King said...

I find it interesting that no one is addressing the question of whether Hitlery can legally become president. Under Article ll of the Constitution, any and every reference to the President is made in the very gender-specific terms of "he" or "his." The original writers of the Constitution were very articulate, well-educated, men. Most certainly if they had wished to, they could have included the wording "he/she" in their description of the person who was to hold the office of President. Or, more clearly, if they had desired to do so, could have included the gender-neutral wording "person" in their description of the entity who was to hold the office of President, as they so clearly did when describing offices held under the legislative or judicial branches of government.
Of course, since the Constitution is being disregarded on all fronts by our socialistic criminal government, it is probably a moot point.

Bruce Bleu said...

She married a compulsive sex addict, she moved to Arkansas on purpose, stays with a guy who follows an erect penis like it's a pointer on a compass... she's DAIN BRAMAGED!! That's all there is to it!!!

CenTexTim said...

Well done, Stilton! Hope n' Change is worth every penny I pay for it.

Oh, wait... :-)

Chuck Ef said...

What Judi King said! Ditto!

Absolutely hilarious. I had forgotten about that Bosnian thing.

But hey, what's the matter with a lie or two or three or whatever, when it's all for a progressive cause! The little people will understand.

What a great way to end the week. Thanks Doc.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@flyfishnevada- Speaking of that "war on women," Hillary recently said that the only reason HillaryCare didn't pass during Bill's administration was because of sexism. Because, of course, the only reason anyone could ever disagree with a liberal is because of racism or sexism.

@Snowpuss- If I'd known how enthusiastic you were about the word Rutabaga, I'd have used it sooner! (grin)

@TrickyRicky- Despite the snark, I'm dead serious about the message of the cartoon and commentary: Hillary isn't and never has been fit to be president. Granted, that didn't stop Barry - but still, her long pre-concussion track record should eliminate her from serious consideration by anyone outside of a Grand Jury.

@John the Econ- I'm hoping that "what difference does it make" really is the final nail in her political coffin. It should never be forgotten or forgiven.

I still think the Vince Foster "suicide" stinks to high heaven. Not least because of the "suicide note" which was found in a previously searched, empty briefcase - and the fact that the note had been torn into pieces but had no fingerprints on it.

And I, too, am sick of political dynasties...and frankly baffled at how and why they exist in our country.

@Judi King- The GOP must win the White House in 2016. I don't want to even think about any other possibility.

@Kim and Steve- It remains to be seen if I'll "get away with it," but hope springs eternal.

@Colby- There was a news story yesterday (probably still floating around) in which someone asked Hillary supporters about her accomplishments - and nobody could come up with much. But again, this didn't stop Barry from becoming president.

@Geoff King- Interesting semantic argument, though I doubt it would prove much of an impediment to Hillary. I think "he" is sometimes considered to be an asexual pronoun in legal language. And as you point out, this crew pretty much ignores the Constitution anyway.

@Bruce Bleu- Need more proof that she's cognitively impaired? During the presidential primaries, she (and her campaign team) was responsible for pushing the narrative that Barack Obama wasn't a US citizen. And we all know that's crazy, right? Right...?

@CenTexTim- I like to think that my financial model for Hope n' Change is based on it being priceless.

@Chuck Ef- The Bosnian story is a favorite of mine because it's basically from Mars. Hillary told a story which was 100% untrue and easy to check. Maybe she'd seen her husband beat those odds so often, she thought she could get away with it too. And sadly, she pretty much has.

Judi King said...

Vince Foster wasn't the only "death" that can be connected to the Clintons. There is a whole trail of them They both need to be in prison.

Chuck Ef said...

@Judi King

You are so correct. I would say there is a trail of slime behind the Clintons but bodies would be more to the point as you said.

Creepy creepy creepy. They are the very personification of power avarice. And she, of course, is a disciple of Saul Alinsky.

'Nuff said.

Colby Muenster said...

Accomplishments: Hmmm... Come to think of it, accomplishes are very relative things. Heres a list of famous people that accomplished quite a bit:
Thomas Jefferson
James Madison
Teddy Roosevelt
Henry Ford
Winston Churchill
Ronald Reagan

Here's another list of famous people that accomplished quite a bit:
Adolph Hitler
Pol Pot
Josef Stalin
Ted Bundy
Jim Jones
Saddam Hussein

Yes, I'm guilty of exaggeration, but if we had to assign her to one group or the other, which group would it be?

I still am smiling thinking about the Democraps scrambling for a 2016 candidate should Billary back out or get eliminated by bad press. Would they actually pick Biden? Who else? Al Franken? San Fran Nan?

alan markus said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
alan markus said...

f it is inevitable that Hillary becomes President, the upside will be 4 years of Hillary giving Obama the Bush treatment. Democrats will be subjected to "if you had voted for me in 2008, we wouldn't be where we are now."; "Obama ruined it for the Democrats - set progressiveness back 40 years - I can only do so much now"; etc. I for one look forward to Democrats getting told they were wrong voting for Obama two times, that he mangled the progressive agenda.

And the Clintons are good at triangulating - that message will disarm a lot of Republicans - will have good job approval because the message will be that she is fixing Obama's mistakes. Remember, Bill Clinton passed welfare reform - took it right out from under the conservatives (Gov. Tommy Thompson, Wisconsin's Welfare-to-Work program)

Anonymous said...

Anybody who wants to be President so bad they can taste it is the LAST person who should be elected to that office.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Judi King- I've seen lists of the Clinton's alleged victims. I doubt that they're all true - but I also doubt that none of them are true.

@Chuck Ef- I think the Clintons are despicable, but I'll admit I'm almost nostalgic for Bill when I look at the damage Obama is doing.

@Colby- I can't really conceive of Biden running a credible campaign because he can't really defend himself with accusations of racism or sexism. Then again, he might choose a candidate for veep who is a gay hispanic woman in a wheelchair.

@alan markus- I'm afraid if Hillary gets the presidency, she'll still keep pounding away on Bush. Moreover, Barry has already said that at the end of his presidency, he's going to keep living in Washington. Hillary might not want to attack his record when he'll be poised to attack right back.

@Anonymous- I agree; these days someone pretty much has to be at least somewhat crazy.

Judi King said...

Even if one or two victims are true, they need to be in prison.

John the Econ said...

Clinton: At least he was a crooked capitalist that only needed to be bought off.

Biden: Just and endless loop of his gaffs should be enough. He makes Quayle look like a genius.

Anyone paying attention to the scandal currently engulfing the VA? Veterans made to wait indefinitely for all kinds of care until they just die from neglect? And then VA officials cover it all up. This is the future of health care in America, folks.

At least when a private company screws you over, you can file a civil suit or even a criminal complaint if it's worthy. When your adversary is the government, then you have no recourse what so ever. Even if you manage to file some kind of lawsuit, they have unlimited resources to deploy against you, and can drag the process out long after you've turned to dust.

(What pisses me off even more was a recent posting by some liberal group accusing the GOP of neglecting our veterans. Um, just who do the believe is the Commander in Chief?)

Watch closely. This is the future.

Chuck Ef said...


You are as always correct. But it was a different time. Clinton-B had constraints (but Monica was there for his FIFY).

Now the progressives have such flaming control over everything they don't even think twice about having the IRS investigate conservatives/libertarians. The flood gate has opened and the bats from hell have arrived.

Hell, I don't know what I just said either - it sounds good though doesn't it?

@John the Econ

Re: The VA Scandal - good that you bring that up. Despicable. I hope that the good doctor can attack that one next week.

Of all the people in the world, disrespect for the vets is hideous. Pure Democrat crap. Democrap, as Colby likes to say ....

Chuck Ef said...


Forgot to ask - I get the Rutabaga thing but what's all this about "laughing uncontrollably while she snaps her teeth at fart bubbles in the bathtub"?

I do that all the time. So what? Don't knock it 'til you try it. Great fun - sorta Zen-lie. Really.

Was that TMI?

Chuck Ef said...


"Zen-like" not "Zen-lie" but maybe that too ...

Wahoo said...

If you want to see something really creepy, pause the screen right at the bags under Slick Willie's eyes.

REM1875 said...

You might have a valid argument but I have a suspicions that a dna test might just clear either her or the current resident.

REM1875 said...

Chuck ef
One of nice things about being an older male is that you can do that in the shower but I might have to put my teeth back in to enjoy the zen like quality.

Chuck Ef said...


Well, in Zen, it's the thought that counts. Or ... something like that.

From the looks of your site info, you are in the military or perhaps were? If so, thanks for your service.

Namaste - (grin, as the good doctor would say)

Chuck Ef said...

Waaaaay off subject but thought I would share anyway.

MC Matt said...

Man, I hate when people who claim to be conservative publish such moronic drivel. No wonder the comedians so easily humiliate the idiots among us. Dudes, do some fact checking! My God! When we run with every stupid fucking rumor just because we love to throw mud, we look like fucking idiots.

Chuck Ef said...

@MC Matt

Agreed! You should not have published that drivel.

Chuck Ef said...

@MC Matt

Can't help myself - the low IQ thing again. My medication isn't working.

Anyway, I saw at your site your hero worship thing. Sooo... Here’s your doppelgänger-hero dude. Count your toes, twiddle your navel and chill!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@MC Matt- Seriously, I'm a bit baffled by what "stupid fucking rumor" you think I failed to fact check. Are you saying that Hillary didn't have a concussion and blood clot? Are you saying that the State Department didn't declare her to be right as rain in 30 days? Are you saying that Bill Clinton did not just say it took her 6 months to recover? Are you saying that she wasn't scheduled to testify on Benghazi before this (ahem) condition took her out of the mix for an extended period?

Here's an idea- rather than just act like a troll, why don't you actually list a few of the facts I got wrong...or STFU.