Friday, May 9, 2014

Secretary of Statements

obama, obama jokes, stilton jarlsberg, hope and change, hope n' change, kerry, nigeria, schoolgirls, kidnapping, boko haram, health care, #BringBackOurGirls, Michelle, selfie, twitter

Following the abduction of hundreds of Nigerian schoolgirls by radical Islamic terrorists who are selling the girls into lives of nightmarish torture and sex slavery,  Secretary of State John Kerry delivered a blistering speech in Ethiopia about the most despicable and unacceptable aspect of the kidnappers: "They don't offer a health care plan."

Apparently believing that he's involved in some kind of election debate against the murderous group Boko Haram (not to be confused with Procol Harum whose classic hit "Whiter Shade of Pale" was about Kerry's wealthy social circle), Kerry reeled off a list of the terrorists' failings: "They don't offer a health care plan, they don't offer schools. They don't tell you how to build a nation, they don't talk about how they will provide jobs. They just tell people, 'you have to behave the way we tell you to,' and they will punish you if you don't."

Of course, under the Obama administration millions are losing their healthcare plans, schools are in the dumper, we can't build an oil pipeline - let alone rebuild our nation, and "telling us" about providing jobs hasn't provided any jobs. And as far as punishing people who don't behave as they're told, we'll simply mention those shiny new fines for those who don't have health insurance and - oh yeah - the scandalous IRS slash and burn campaign to cripple conservative free speech.

But let's get back to the horrifying situation being faced by those kidnapped schoolgirls. With a real life-and-death "War on Women" staring the Obama administration in the face, just what are they doing to provide help?

Actually, not very damn much. They're sending a handful of "communications experts," who hopefully haven't been recruited to set up a new website that will make it "easy-peasy" (in the words of Valerie Jarrett) for the terrorists to choose between bronze, silver, and gold healthcare plans for their young victims.

Additionally, members of the Obama administration are taking part in an aggressive, no holds barred, social media campaign consisting entirely of posting "selfies" on Twitter while holding cardboard signs that say "#BringBackOurGirls."  Michelle Obama herself has posted such a picture, which is ironic considering she drags her own daughters out of their homeland as often as possible and refuses to "bring them back" until she's blown through tens of millions of taxpayer dollars.

The hate-filled Islamists of Boko Haram are intent on destroying Western values wherever they find them - and destroying the lives and innocence of young schoolgirls for the simple cruel pleasure and financial benefits of doing so. These monsters deserve a harsh and highly-kinetic justice administered without mercy.

Just for starters, Secretary Kerry, we'd like to suggest hellfire missiles rather than inane healthcare speeches.

Remember, terrorists - only YOU can make Michelle smile again.


Anonymous said...

Never mind, if the girls are ever rescued Prez Obungler will step forward to claim all the credit. Any ragheads left standing will be welcomed to the USA as Democrat voters with a pre-registered Healthcare account.

TrickyRicky said...

Wow...I missed that one. He really, really said "They don't offer a health plan?" Let me explain how it works Lurch, you effete snob. The Boko Haram health plan is they DON'T chop your freaking head off.

While the former winner of WWII is the butt of jokes the world over, our so-called leaders idea of useful action in the world arena is "hashtag diplomacy."

Pardon me while I go vomit.

Geoff King said...

I have reached the conclusion that the unbelievably hypocritical political correctness propaganda campaign from the left must have been crafted and well scripted quite some time ago. Their diversionary tactics can't possibly be coincidental. Whenever any of them or their supposed moral agendas come under fire the media's attention is instantly drawn elsewhere. The Nigerian schoolgirl situation or the despicable treatment of women in the Middle East in general? Nah, lets concentrate on the sexist use of the word "bossy" instead. The obvious criminal Benghazi coverup? Nah, look over here, it's Monica Lewenski again. Etc., etc., etc. I now believe that, in their quest to totally destroy our way of life, they have decided to attack every basic American principle from every angle and in the most outlandish ways possible in an attempt to simply overload our circuits so that we will no longer care or even have a concept of what is truly happening to our country. It seems there is now an almost daily new scandal being exposed, along with an almost daily diversionary story to change our focus. Now the administration appears to be attempting to turn every conservative talking point into a joke. Ă˜bama recently kidding about being a Kenyan, and now this:
Since all of their evil actions are obviously a big joke to them, they evidently are now attempting to get the ignorant sheeple to laugh along with them so they will be incapable of noticing the smoke and mirrors routine until it is too late. I, myself, grow weary of attempting to uncover the truth behind the headlines. There are just too many lies these days to keep track of. If that is their intention, they are winning.

WMD said...

Why couldn't Lurches fellow sailors, ( I think he was in the Navy, no?) have fragged him back then.

Not trying to hijack the thread or anything but I wanted to post this link to a video I thought was hilarious.

Not sure how to do this actually, you may have to copy and paste or just go to youtube or liveleak or whatever and search "ASU student vs. protester"

Language warning though..

Fellow HnC ers, I present to you the next mass-shooter.

Colby Muenster said...

And just when you thought, "Well, at least he's better than Hillary." Good Lord, I think Herman (reminds me more of Herman Munster than Lurch) has been hanging around Slo Joe too much. And I'm sure if I was a kidnapped 12 year old girl getting raped and beaten every day, I'd sure be glad the first Wookie is out there holding up that sign. Not that I think Mooch can actually DO anything about the situation, but damn! This situation is bad enough without these morons out there proving to the world what freaking idiots they are. Guess what, Mooch. A group of terrorists who are willing to kidnap little girls and sell them into slavery for 12 bucks each, could give a rat's ass about you and your f**king little sign.

I think Herman was in the Army, but likely none of our branches of the armed services are willing to claim him at this point.

Bruce Bleu said...

At least "Lurch", (Ted Cassidy), played the harpsichord... Pseudo Lurch only plays with himself! If the report of the kidnappings I heard is correct, the reason lamont and his "peeps" don't GIVE an "airborne coitus" is because the girls were CHRISTIANS! By examining the "fruit" of lamont's life, it would be difficult (emphasis on the "cult") to conclude that he even KNOWS what a true Christian IS, let alone actually BE one! Using decades of endeavor in cult apologetics, I haven't observed one scintilla of evidence that this poseur is a believer in the TRUE Christ.
"National Day Of Prayer" (Christian focus) in the toilet... mooselim day of prayer... lamont taking off his shoes and raising his bony ass to honor the Moon god of Arabia... EVERY YEAR!
I'm sure lamont still has the Koran given to him when he was 8 years old by the pedophile that cornholed him in Indonesia.

txGreg said...


Thanks Doc. I was afraid my mind was the only one making that random association with the song every time that terrorist group was mentioned. (Time to pull out the Doro version to listen to now...)

American Cowboy said...

@ Stilton
Your italicized comment could be applied to other monsters intent on destroying Western values for financial benefits as well...metaphorically speaking.

@ Geoff King
I know how you feel. Reading what passes itself off as news these days is akin to flogging oneself with a cat-o-nine-tails, just for fun. It seems it is the liberal/democrat/leftist version of Chinese water torture.

John the Econ said...

Who would have thought that it would be possible to look back at former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, and think "At least she was somewhat competent"? Only our current Secretary of State could make something like that possible.

So Boko Harum is evil because they don't have a decent healthcare plan that covers anything beyond clitoretomies? Ha! I get it. Almost as funny as his botched joke from 2006.

I'm surprised that Kerry didn't throw in there anything about Boko Harum's carbon footprint or their lack of any kind of a sustainability plan.

But the joke gets funnier when he says "They just tell people, 'you have to behave the way we tell you to,' and they will punish you if you don't."

Wow, just like the Democrats do here. Socialized health care is going to enslave us all to the state run by these fools. Taking 200 slaves at a time is awful. But 300-million, not so much. So subtract out the clitorectomies and Boko Haram's agenda isn't all that foreign to this administration.

So where are America's formerly excitable feminists on all this? Well, outside of college campuses, gender feminist political power in the US died back in the '90s when they went all-in supporting and then continuing to support the misogynist Bill Clinton. It's pretty hard to be taken seriously after that. Whenever they are seen in the mainstream media anymore, it's only to fight for late-term abortions or free birth control. Today they're limited to tweeting selfies with signs about how they think they care. (Perhaps if there were some white males somehow involved, they could feign a little more outrage)

But the the real tragedy is that the kidnapping and selling of children into slavery, forced marriages or the sex trade happens every single day in Africa, and other places across the globe. The only thing unique in this case is that that a religious group took 200 at one time under the guise of a political agenda. But elsewhere today about Africa, far more then 200 other children will disappear, like yesterday and like tomorrow, and John Kerry won't be as worried about their captor's health care plan.

Chuck Ef said...

OMG, good catch Doc. I did not see this plea from Lurch and Wookie. No healthcare plan? Good gravy!

"They just tell people, ‘You have to behave the way we tell you to,’ and they will punish you if you don’t." Lurch said that about these thugs but doesn't that sound like progressives? I mean really. See @WMD's video.

More candidates for mass shooterdom - Pay attention Wookie and Lurch!

What a sick world the progressives have let loose - This is Jim Hlavac's Theocracy, it would seem to me.

Jim Hlavac said...

For Wednesday's cartoon I had mentioned that the Magnetic North Pole was moving -- so, last night I put a link in those comments to my blog post on the issue, with much evidence -- in case anyone is interested.

As for today's cartoon -- I will note that there's one area of glorious agreement between the Christians and Muslims of Nigeria - for that nation is rounding up gay men by the hundreds and imprisoning them for decades - so that they are at least out of the way as the two sides work at slaughtering each other. Few in this nation seem to remotely give a damn -- and indeed, it seems some "good christians" here have gone there to give advice on how to rid Nigeria of the presence of gay men. The Muslims imams and Christian pastors all sat down in peaceful comity to work at doing that. So I suppose there's areas of agreement. Perhaps the Christian south can trade the gay guys for the little girls -- and still sell people into sex slavery and Scott Lively, GOP candidate for governor of Massachusetts will be happy - but you know I get sardonic on this matter. I can, of course, provide links to the videos of the two sides sitting down in peaceful coexistence -- perhaps on my blog this weekend.

Of course, those with more historical memories recall well when the Catholics and Protestants of that "nation" were at each others throats and the Yoruba were starving the Ibo into submission in Biafra.

So not only are the Christians attacking each other, but they too have gone north to burn down Muslim villages and chase those people away, while the Muslims, of course, have their own demented brand of wacky. It's a religious war going on for some 500 years there now.

Let us say then, that no side in Nigeria is innocent whatsoever of any atrocities over the decades -- except the girls and gays, certainly.

As for the Obama and Kerry -- well, I'll just agree with anyone here who says anything against those two clueless morons.

But let us at least keep proper score of who is evil, and who is not.

Judi King said...

This is so pathetic! As most of these girls are Christian, the 1400 or 1500 year jihad continues. At least 60 million Christians have been slaughtered in those years, not to mention those of other religions who disagreed with their so-called, self proclaimed "prophet". If Lurch really said this, then he's a bigger moron than I thought and has no concept of reality, but he and the MSM probably get their marching orders from the "dic" in the White House. Meanwhile, the "dic" goes around acting like Bozo the clown and thinks we're laughing with him when in reality we're laughing at him. My depression grows daily!

Jim Hlavac said...

By they way -- the other day I wrote a wide ranging historical overview of where Christians and Muslims have differed or been astoundingly together on certain matters over the past 1400 years ...

Too often we think only in terms of what was on last night's news - and not the long term historical reality in which we live.

CenTexTim said...

"...we'd like to suggest hellfire missiles rather than inane healthcare speeches."

I don't know, Stilton. If we really want to punish those savages maybe we should force obamacare on them. Killing them makes them martyrs. Living with obamacare might make other would-be terrorists think twice.

Chuck Ef said...

@Jim Hlavac

See v.4 "The Age Of Faith", The Story Of Civilization, by Will and Ariel Durant (although, being a SWM, he left of Ariel's name on these early volumes - cad!).

Durant is fabulously candid.

BTW, it seems like a severe break with tradition that Procol Harum has kidnapped these 72 virgins - I thought that they were supposed to wait until after death. And boy, I sure miss their music. They were great. "A Whiter Shade Of Pale" and so on. Why they are now kidnapping young girls - I don't know. Alzheimer's, maybe.


Good call! But Obamacare is a "hellfire" missile. It's a little bit of hell here on earth. So I think you and the good doctor are in agreement here.

WMD said...

Colby, I looked up Kerry on the intranets and he was in the Navy Reserve. Remember the whole swift boat thing? By the way, the term "Swift Boating" means telling the truth about a democrat.

It also said he "won" a Silver Star, a Bronze Star and THREE Purple Hearts, in only FOUR MONTHS!!!!Wow! He's better than Rambo!!

What a phoney bastard.

Freddie Sykes said...

They do have a health care plan: they plan to kill every medical workers that providers vaccines. They do have an education plan: they plan to burn down any school that dares to teac girls.

Wahoo said...

I agree with you, WMD, but you've got to give "Heinz" credit for marrying up.

Anonymous said...

Where is the Rev Jackson??? This is right up his alley, let the spot light shine on Jesse!! Or is he to busy visiting his son in prison???Jesse, the spot light has never been brighter!!!!

David in SoCal said...

Whenever I saw Secretary of State-o-Confusion, I thought he reminded me of someone; I found it:

Yes, Constable Odo from Star Trek DS9. Like Kerry, Odo was an unsmiling bunghole as well.

So, I hear yesterday that Odistractor has sent a team of U.S. 'Specialists' to Nigeria to help with the recovery/return of the 276+ school girls abducted and held hostage by a radical terrorist Muslim group known as 'Boco Haram' . Finally, something the Oadministration has done that makes sense.......Begs the question, though: Why in God's name, did this moron do NOTHING to protect/save the 4 brave Americans: Ambassador J. Christopher Stevens/Tyrone Woods/Sean Smith/Glen Doherty, when THEY were attacked and butchered by a radical terrorist Muslim group in Benghazi, even though the Americans begged for help?
Tell me America; are captured Nigerian school girls worth more than 4 butchered brave Americans? Worth more than a hero Marine Veteran jailed in Tijuana?

Not enough booze in the world to drink this crap 'sensible'.

Bruce Bleu said...

David in SoCal,
THIS is the Star Trek that reminds me of Mr. Heinz...
Maybe that was the impetus that motivated Algore to write "Earth in the Lurch"!

Chuck Ef said...

@ David in SoCal

As a refugee from SoCal myself, dude!
"Tell me America; are captured Nigerian school girls worth more than 4 butchered brave Americans? Worth more than a hero Marine Veteran jailed in Tijuana?"

Not enough booze indeed - very good point. BUT I like @Bruce Bleu's Lurch better. Maybe that dates me ... I dunno.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Too many good comments above for me to respond to all of them, other than with applause.

Mrs. Jarlsberg, who tends to be wise about these things, says that the United States will be taking some definitive action to get the girls back, or at least blow some bad guys out of their shoes. How does she know? Because she believes that the White House image factory would never have posted the hashtag/selfie picture of Michelle unless they knew that action was forthcoming.

Then this morning (Saturday) we learn that Barry has turned over his weekly radio address to Michelle to speak on the topic - which makes it doubly sure that some sort of action will be attempted.

It's a nearly no-lose scenario for the Obama administration, even if any action becomes a "noble failure": they'll be striking against terror, fighting for women, and fighting for blacks - and all before midterms.

John the Econ said...

That's an astute observation by Mrs. J.

But there could be a downside; Remember when Jimmy Carter finally grew some gonads and tried to rescue the American hostages in Iran?

I hope he does better than that.

PRY said...

Bruce Bleu....great point! If the kidnapped girls had been muslim would the head cheese give a rip? Who knows...but he DEFINTELY doesn't fret over a CHRISTIAN being wronged! And so many times he has claimed to be Christian...must really make him sick to his core to say that!

If Obama were an apostate, the Muslim world would notice and react.

If he were a Christian, he wouldn’t undermine his own religion.

If he were an atheist, he would not favor one religion over another.

Obama is getting more and more entwined in the web of his own “religious” lies and by doing so, he looks more and more deranged and dangerously volatile.

Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people...Ps 14:34

John the Econ said...

@WMD, how fragile liberals and liberalism must be, judging by the efforts they take to prevent people from being "offended".

Some guy hold up a sign and this emotional child that somehow has been admitted to a university completely loses it. In any other age, someone like this would either be expelled and sent away for psychiatric treatment, or wouldn't have been admitted to an supposed "institution of higher learning" in the first place. I have little doubt than in this case today, this individual is likely a PhD candidate.

It's examples like this that make me contemplate the upsides of what would happen if we were to allow the Progressives their way and let the world devolve to the more just dark ages where we'd all be living a subsistence existence. The social-economic slack that allows our surplus productivity to subsidize the millions of otherwise unproductive or useless citizens like this upset child would be gone, and they'd all die off within a generation or two.

Chuck Ef said...

@Dr. J

Mrs. J does indeed sound wise.

The One we’ve been waiting for has Tucson’s vote - fo’ sho’.

I shouldn't be mean - It is a tragedy. But there are so many in the world and the US has such limited resources anymore, thanks to this ridiculous deficit. But I am a Blue Meanie. So be it.

Kick butt in Nigeria, Brony Master! And party hardy in the meantime!

Chuck Ef said...

But wait! There's more!

David in SoCal said...

Chuck Ef: Duuuuuuude! I am going to be a Native Californian Refugee as soon as I retire. After 60+ years in this beautiful but Dumbocratic cesspool, I've had enough. AZ, NV, or TX all look good to me; reasonable taxes/cost of living, and 2A friendly.
God bless y'all here at HNC, and God bless all you HNC mothers tomorrow on your special day!

Chuck Ef said...

David in SoCal

Well if you go to AZ, go to Phoenix - the rest, at least the southern part, is a Democratic cesspool too. Trust me, I know from where I speak. I escaped from SoCal to AZ 20 years ago and initially it was good. Now the idiot progs have taken over the south, which the morons call Baja Arizona.

I have since left the waterless cesspool. (Seriously, that is something to worry about, along with the border issues.)

Of the three you mention, if I could do it, I'd go to TX. I may yet ...

Good luck!

CenTexTim said...

Chuck Ef and David in SoCal -

FWIW, my wife's family is from AZ (Scottsdale). When I retired and it was time for us to decide where to live, it came down to either AZ or TX.

It was no contest. We live in the hill country near a small town in Central Texas. We couldn't be happier...

Chuck Ef said...


I retired to TN because of family (everyone in the family is from SoCal - it is a very long story). But I am seriously considering relocating to TX later after some family obligations are up. Happy here in TN - it is gorgeous and no income tax - and Southern AZ, where I lived at the time, is going to pot. And lots of other things are good about TN as well. Really gorgeous.

But the allure of Texas .... yup, yup, yup.

If nothing else, want to meet Ted Nugent - Run, Ted, Run! Put in a good word for me.

You know him, don't you?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Texas will be glad to welcome you. Seriously, the other 49 States are pretty superfluous. (Grin)

David in SoCal said...

Chuck, Tim and Dr. J: Thanks to y'all for the heads up! I had considered Prescott/Chino Valley AZ area, but more and more; 'Tejas' looks better the more I look. We have good friends in the N.Dallas and DFW area begging us to join them. Mrs. SoCal is not too keen about moving away from the kids/Grandkids.........I think she will miss me!(cha-right!)

AND: A happy and Blessed Mother's Day to all the HN'C Mommies! Not enough gratitude or huggs in this world to repay you for your hard work/love/and dedication to raising our wonderful children!