Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Clueless Joe

obama, obama jokes, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, conservative, biden, retirement, secret service, hillary, dead broke, clinton

Hard on the heels of Hillary Clinton claiming to be "dead broke" after leaving the White House, Joe Biden has announced that he has neither a savings account nor any investments to provide for his own needs after leaving office.

It's unclear whether he will have to engage in demeaning hourly labor like Hillary (although $200,000 an hour for giving speeches isn't bad) or if he will perhaps receive a multi-million dollar advance for authoring a memoir of his non-accomplishments in office. ("Biden My Time").

It's something of a mystery why Joe Biden is against putting money in banks ("I heard they keep sperm in 'em," he might whisper with a suspiciously cocked eyebrow). However, his dislike of the stock market was well documented when he announced during his re-election campaign that Wall Street wants to put black people "back in chains." Even the ones who are clean and articulate.

Still, the penniless Biden is unworried about his eventual retirement, saying that he has a "great pension." But one would assume that the Clintons got an even better pension, and those poor bastards claim to be sleeping under bridges and living off of rainwater and bread crusts.

Maybe that's why Joe Biden is forced to cobble together odd little dabs of money here and there, like the $100,000 he's charging Secret Service Agents to rent space at his Delaware property in order to protect him. (Side note: wouldn't it be cheaper for taxpayers if Uncle Joe would just take his own advice and fire a shotgun into the sky when feeling threatened?)

But Hope n' Change isn't too concerned about Joe Biden's financial future. As has been the case for over 40 years, he'll continue to have pocket money as long as there are taxpayers with pockets.

obama, obama jokes, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, conservative, hillary, dead broke, clinton
Hard Choices: Ripple or Thunderbird?


Duke Mantee said...

Biden...What a scumbag.

TrickyRicky said...

OMG Stilton, that image of Shrillery in homeless garb with cardboard sign....probably your best ever. Priceless. As for Biden, if he takes his own advice about shooting the shotgun into the air, may he miss.

Quest Grande said...

Don't worry about Joe......corrupt scumbag set his kids up well.....a State attorney general, a hedge and I am sure his princess can afford all the blow her bobbed nose can handle.

Folks, I PRAY for the Revolution to start. Every single day we lose more of America.

Frankie said...

To be fair to Joe (sarc) the Clintons do the same with their
SS detail. They charge for the guest house occupancy @ Chappaqua.

Bonus pic from H&C of Hillary as a bag lady? Effin' priceless!!!

Thanks Stilton

Grumpy Curmudgeon said...

Trey Gowdy, Rand Paul and Joe Biden die and they arrive at the Gates Of Heaven where St. Peter is there to greet them. St. Peter informs them that they have to pass a test to get into heaven. All three agree to the test.

St. Peter says to Trey - “There was an ocean liner that struck an iceberg and sank, can you name the ship?”

Trey replies “That was the Titanic.”

St. Peter says “Correct - go ahead and enter heaven. Now Rand, how many people were aboard the ship?”

Rand replies “1500 passengers and crew.”

St. Peter says “Correct - go ahead and enter heaven. Now Joe, name them!”

Geoff King said...

Although Joe is, of course, lying about his finances, he truly is one of the poorer members of the current dictatorship. He really does not own any stocks, but his wife does and they do have a joint savings account. As that account contains less than $15,000, by Hilarious Clinton standards that is dead broke. Although his annual income now is around the half million mark, once out of office he will be forced to try and survive with a paltry $5 million in severance pay and only around a quarter million a year for life (plus full benefits and not including what he may make if someone actually ever wants him to speak in public again). I see lots of Ramen noodles in his future.

CenTexTim said...

My God! Is there no end to the arrogance and entitlement mentality of those people.? As for being “the poorest member of Congress” - well, that's like saying you drive the bottom of the line model Ferrari.

mutter mutter ... must have coffee ... mutter mutter...

Monty Montour said...

Stilton, that is a freakin funny-ass commentary! Hitting him from every angle. Brilliant! I look forward to every post.

Jim Hlavac said...

The poverty of our current politicians is with their morals and minds, ideals and ideas, plans and projects, honesty and humility -- all of which are poor indeed, even lacking -- but they sure don't seem to lack for money.

Perhaps Pelosi can give him some paint and brushes and he can do art or something.

Surely some lobbying firm will take pity on the man and give him a cubicle and a 1/2 million a year for the name and a little access.

Or maybe he can get a preacher's license for his Church of Craven Stupidity and take up collections.

Even more spectacularly, instead of a ghost written doorstop of 'my time in office' he can write from whatever last shred of conscience he maybe has: "What the real truth is about Obama; how we screwed America."

Say, surely Al Gore has a spare bedroom out there in Malibu and could use a good yes man ...

Omar al Tikriti said...

Saaaay, I did not know that your Hildebeest is so hot! I believe that is her name - looks kinda like one there. But we here in Tikrit have a fondness for nature, particularly anatomy and vivisection. And she looks like she could use a good vivisection! Ha ... raise the roof, I think you people say. How much do you want for her?

Anyway, your Biden will be fine. We have already hired him to handle the splitting of Iraq into multiple, ethnically cleansed parts. He is an expert. And when he is done with that, well - we have shotguns too. Ha! And a spit for roasting pigs! Oooff - that's pork isn't it. Never mind.

Rod Stirling said...

OMG, grump - that is hilarious. OMG. No, if you made that up, you would be called a racist! That was hilarious. Thanks.

WMD said...

If it really is invasive, perhaps it should be called the mexican carp or maybe the central American carp...just spit balling there.

Geoff King said...

Now for something completely different. In a rare showing of unity, and undoubtedly one of the most awkward moments of their lives, Rep and Dem members of congress joined hands yesterday and pretended to sing "We Shall Overcome" in honor of the 50th anniversary of the Civil Rights Act. WARNING! Not safe for viewing while eating.

I think they should consider taking it on the road. The Ho Chi Mihn Highway could be a good place to start.

Grumpy Curmudgeon said...

@Geoff King: Yeah...I don't think we got all the mines and the bomblets out of it.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Grumpy Curmudgeon- I believe there's still a big, big story about clandestine weapons deals in Benghazi waiting to come out - and it will help explain why even remotely telling the truth would have killed Barry's re-election chances.

Regarding the "Invasive Carp," that's a pretty funny story. And I think we should broaden the use of this more sensitive term to remove ethnic labeling in general. Just think of all the people who can then proudly call themselves Invasive-Americans.

@Earl Allison- I'd like to give Joe the benefit of the doubt here. He may not be lying, he may just be effing insane and/or riddled with dementia.

@TrickyRicky- Sometimes the Photoshop gods smile on a certain image...and I think that's the case with the Hillary picture. It's currently pretty popular over on Facebook, too.

@Quest Grande- Believe me, I'm not worried about Joe. Nor would I be even if I believed his baldfaced lies.

@Frankie- To be totally fair, the property Biden is renting out is a rental property, so he'd be losing income if he didn't charge the Secret Service. Still, this is one of those cases where the optics are pretty bad - and the amount of revenue is trivial enough (at least in Washington terms) that Joe should have waived the rent.

@Grumpy Curmudgeon- Joe would be able to name "Captain Obama," but would have trouble with the other 1,499...

@Geoff King- Truthfully, it is surprising how little wealth (in the traditional sense) Joe has accumulated over the years. Then again, he's known forever that he has a cozy government pension to look forward to.

@Chuck Baker- Truly inspirational!

@CenTexTim- When Biden says he was the "poorest member of Congress," I can't help but wonder if he might have been referring to quality rather than wealth.

@Monty Montour- Glad you enjoyed it! Truthfully, there are so many big horrible news stories currently that I thought we could all use a lighter and more comedic breather today.

@Jim Hlavac- Good points, and man do I wish I'd come up with the angle about "dead broke" Hillary using her time to create art. Funny stuff!

And as you point out, Biden will be able to get all the money he needs in the future just for the use of his name and access to his rolodex.

@Omar al Tikriti- Sorry, but vivisection is pretty much ruled out by the Secret Service - although cutting remarks serve much the same purpose (grin).

@Rod Stirling- But we can still say "Asian Carp Diem," right? (translation: "Seize the Invasive Fish.")

@WMD- How about "Undocumented Carp?"

@Froaderick Barbarossa- I've frequently thought that the reason politicians and Hollywood types believe in the unfairness of income inequality is because in their personal experience, they receive preposterous amounts of money out of all proportion to any actual work/value they create.

They know they're receiving unfair rewards, and so assume that everyone else with wealth must have similarly acquired it by magical unfairness. The idea of someone actually working for their wealth would never occur to them.

@Geoff King- Holy Effing Cow, that was appalling! If I had been at the end of that handholding line, I'd have considered using my free hand to stick a fork into an electric outlet for the good of the country.

@Grumpy Curmudgeon- In fairness, we shouldn't put the politicians into harm's way without protection. I say we give them ear plugs.

Jim Hlavac said...

@F. Barbarossa: you know, the Danish "income equality" is so delusional -- the royals earn some $25 million a year, which is not counted in the income stats ... so, that skews it a bit.
And, the youth are leaving: there's been reports that Danish 20-somethings are headed for England and Spain mostly -- but out - so many are leaving that Denmark created an "Exit Tax," just like Henry II charged the Jews when he expelled them from England in the mid-1100s.

Meanwhile, the place is broke, and they know it -- and they have a very high suicide rate in paradise. There's slew of articles on the alleged "Nordic miracle" being a mirage, mostly through the Guardian newspaper in the UK -- fascinating stuff.

"A beacon of light" indeed, being snuffed out by reality.

Judi King said...

Give me a break! These people (so-called progressives) don't even live in the real world. Maybe they should try living on less than $20M a year. CLUELESS!!!!!!!

Whopper said...

Good news! Your fearless leader, with all the speeches, but his teleprompter has failed him again!

This admin is a bunch of morons, but thank goodness pot is legal now.

Colby Muenster said...

It's a special kind of sickening having DC elite prima dona's whining about their lack of money. OMG... gimme a goddam break already! Who in the world believes this tripe? Oh wait! the LIV's believe it. I'll bet there are dumbass liberal groups all over the country holding fundraisers, as we speak, to get Billery and SloJoe out of their refrigerator boxes and into decent housing.

And I guess I'm also missing exactly what it is Billery and Joe are trying to accomplish with the "I'm so broke" bullshit. Are we supposed to elect them to high office so they won't freaking starve? Really? I 'spose it makes sense in a twisted way. Once you've spent you whole life being a total sponge on society, might be tough to hold down a real job.

What CenTexTim said:
mutter mutter ... must have coffee ... mutter mutter...

@Geoff King,
Thanks a lot for helping me make sure my gag reflex is still working! The only things these buttlickers want to "overcome" is tax liability and pesky re-elections.

Geoff King said...

Good news! Slow Joe learned two new words. He liked them so much that he repeated them three times in an apparent attempt to commit them to memory. Speaking out for gay rights yesterday, he said "I don't care what your culture is, inhumanity is inhumanity is inhumanity. Prejudice is prejudice is prejudice."

Transcendental said...

You know, I have found a place where the Hildebeest would be happy. For as illustrated by the doctor, she would fit right in at the EPA - Government bureaucrats FINALLY being productive!.

mutter, mutter ... yo momma! ....mutter, mutter ...must find whiskey... {My apologies to CenTexTim]

WMD said...

@ Froaderick and Jim H.
One thing I've noticed is that whenever some idiot talks about the wonderful socialist society that europe has "created" and how everything is rainbows and daisies, they NEVER mention the real reason why.

Defense spending.

They always seem to convienently neglect to account for the fact that good 'ol Uncle Sam is defending their countries at about a 90% rate. If they had to provide for their own defense they would be COMPLETELY screwed. American largess is responsible for them being able to engage in this great experiment that could never work and will never work.

By the way, what is correct as I've seen it both ways, is it "Bald face lies" or "Bold face lies"?

Anonymous said...

With Cockran (spelling intentional) winning due to crossover voting by those with a stake in government handouts, the left is crowing over the end of the Tea Party. And maybe they are right - those with a stake in feeding at the public trough will do what they can to keep the RINOs in office. Two shades of the Democratic Party running under different names.

"But Hope n' Change isn't too concerned about Joe Biden's financial future. As has been the case for over 40 years, he'll continue to have pocket money as long as there are taxpayers with pockets."

Isn't that the definition of a pol? Stealing from the taxpayer (aka the middle class)? Does anyone have any faith in these fools? They make laws that do not apply to themselves, they get rich in office, and then decry the wealthy who paid for their campaigns.

Now there is a report of western jihadi's, with American passports, and brand spanking new non-metallic bombs, on their way to US. We have no border and we have spy agencies whose only interest is spying on Americans at home, and a corrupt IRS as the king's revenuers, consciously covering-up their own misdeeds.

Where did America go?

Jim Hlavac said...

@WMD -- true, we cover their defense -- not mentioned either is that because nearly all their hospitals were destroyed in WWII they got all that new stuff paid for by the USA too - only now it's beginning to fall apart --

And too, all the sickest and eldest died in WWII -- leaving behind healthy survivors -

And when their system was set up -- and then so endlessly quantified - they had new hospitals and healthy people, paid for by USA -- and no one thinks of that angle ...
As for "bold" or "bald" faced liars - I would imagine with this current crop of whackos either one would work well enough -- diversity in aspersions, that's my motto ... the baldy-bold-ballsy liars ...

as for "SloJoe" (hahaha) on gay rights -- well, all heteros have been reconsidering the issue for quite some time -- I personally don't think one side or the other is particularly bad or good on the issue of what I call "gay perplexed" - the nation is perplexed about us -- I just hope you all get to a conclusion quickly .... :)

Jim Hlavac said...

Oh yah, btw -- Yesterday was the anniversary of the Upstairs Lounge fire -- 32 Christian men burned to death in New Orleans -- at a church meeting -- no culprit found, none even looked for ... few if anyone seems to know about it -- it's interesting how 32 white Christian taxpaying American men can be killed in the middle of a city and the story disappears like smoke ... SloJoe don't know the mojo on this either, though is party was in charge of the city and state at the time ... you can look it up.

Anonymous said...

I guess her sign works.

John the Econ said...

What gets me is that absolutely anybody takes this "income inequality" crap seriously from these clowns.

Meanwhile, they'll continue to rape the growing minority of Americans who actually create the wealth in this country, instead of skimming in various rent-seeking schemes.

Meanwhile, the IRS silliness continues unabated. The upside is that even devout Democrats aren't buying the "the dog ate the e-mail" act. In fact, surprisingly, most Americans are actually offended by the "We deleted the e-mail, so there's no evidence of wrong-doing. Can we have more ice cream" message the IRS is sending.

And at the moment, Hillary seems to be the best thing the Democrats have to offer America. How pathetic is that? Hard to tell, since it seems that the establishment GOP still wishes to be practically and morally indistinguishable from the Democrats. It's their election to lose, and they seem prepared to do it.

Monty Montour said...

@Geoff King
With Slow Joe repeating his three new words in defense of gay rights, Bathhouse Barry "knowing" other men, and John "Rambo" Kerry promising to appoint more gay, lesbian, and transgender ambassadors, here's a word to describe the leadership of this country - repeat three times: "A freakshow is a freakshow is a freakshow".

Wahoo said...

HRC looks like she's wearing her entire wardrobe of pantsuits.

Privileged SWM said...

Mr. Econ,

"Income Inequality" crap gets votes from the LoFo. The Dems know this and are cynical to the nth degree so they use it for vote-getting. It's about power and its accretion. Open borders, though theoretically libertarian, is another cynical ploy to turn the border states blue. Immigrants, like my own family's ancestors, have historically looked to the handouts from the Democrats to support them (unlike my own family's ancestors!). It takes many generations for this sense of the "safety net" to be ameliorated. This is why the estimable Milton Friedman, one of libertarian heroes, said that the welfare state and open borders are incompatible.

The LoFo likes their handouts and the Democrats are more than happy to pander to that sort of prostitution - so that they and the RINOs continue to get rich in office. I would also say that it is part and parcel of the elitist nature of the so-called equality loving lefties, who in reality take a very dim view of the great unwashed.

This is why it is such a joy to watch the current psychic pain as the Dems begin to realize people are catching on to their hypocrisy. Unfortunately, it is happening too early in the election cycle. The LoFo will forget by Nov 2016 - when they realize their handouts are at risk.

Anonymous said...

From Mark Steyn:

Koskinen, second from left, asks Lois Lerner and her colleagues if they have seen his hard drive.

Anonymous said...

(Pamecon:). I'd like to see Karl Rove get a little HopeNChange treatment, though Obama continues to deserve days & months more treatment far exceeding any VA wait list......

Grumpy Curmudgeon said...

@John the Econ: Compound the IRS missing emails with the fact that now the EPA is telling a Congressional committee that they can't produce the emails regarding the Pebble Mine because their hard drives 'crashed' and everything was lost, oh-by the way-the employee involved has left the country, refuses to cooperate, and is living well in New Zealand.

I wonder how high the odds of this 'coincidence' will be when Greg Gutfeld recalculates adding this piece of information - probably stand a better chance of winning the Power-ball Lotto.

I wonder why Obama hired a Criminal Defense lawyer a couple of weeks ago? Inquiring minds want to know...and why did he and the Wookie lose their law license????

Honcho said...

Honcho here.

Hey Pamecon-Anonymous, I would certainly agree that the damn RINOs may need to start being included in the "hope and change" epistemic closure. Ain't that fancy? Yeah, I read some.

Anyway, would someone to explain to me the difference between RINOs and the Democrats? But dang it, I reckon that Stilton would (rightfully) say that any attention to the RINOs would dilute the already toxic cocktail that Obama and friends produce each day. Didn't know an ol' cowpoke (not a sexual preference) could talk so flowery, huh?

Hey Grumpy, where did you see that Obama hired a defense lawyer and that he and Wookie lost their law licenses? I missed that in all of my trolling around the wide open internet plains. I don't think he has anything to worry about legally - Neil Cavuto seems to be on his side now. Or so it seems - maybe Cavuto has a point but it is lost on me without more coffee.

Judi King said...

Doesn't anyone read a history book anymore. These idiots in power are doing everything it takes to bring down a nation (or empire) and the other idiots who don't know or don't care keep re-electing them. When we are all slaves to a corrupt government, they'll be the first to wonder....What happened? At least some of us know what happened. I think it's beyond stopping now.

β male #1 said...

Judi King,

I am terribly afraid that you are correct. And yes, history is replete with all that we see today. It is sad because this is (or was) a truly great country, built by immigrants from many cultures who nonetheless bought into the American ideals (including the "Rule of Law". My only hope is that there are elements of society ready to, er, "push back.

The pols know full well that as long as they keep handing things out to the low-information voter that they will continue to get reelected - so long as they can keep deferring the pain to future generations.

The only saving grace might have been a cultural reaction to what we are seeing. Sadly, our culture was weakened to the point of impotency because of past mistakes that discredited what were otherwise the noble ideas that are perceived as "going along with" those mistakes. This is the great deceit of academia and the MSM.

People like you, and I would say most of the commenters here, though can still fight the good fight through our own "trolling". I am still trying to figure out what to do - but that is why I am a β male.

WMD said...

@ Rod Stirling,
Thanks for the clarification. I suppose I could have looked it up myself. So thanks for the response and the link.

The king hussein (PBUH) and his wookie lost their law licenses a long time ago. I also never heard exactly why. I hadn't heard king hussein (PBUH) had hired a defense attorney. But I suppose we'll get the bill for that as well.

I heard nazi pelosi complaining that all this stuff going is to subvert king husseins(PBUH) agenda. Well duh, she finally got something right. I can't stand that, ahem, "woman". I agree with Dennis Miller who said "she perpetually looks like she's witnessing the arrival of the Hindenberg." (I'm paraphrasing)

Grumpy Curmudgeon said...

@WMD: Another Miller goldie referring to Pelosi: "She's wrapped tighter than a Bratwurst"

Obama appointed W. Neil Eggleston as White Houde Concil. Essentially, W. Neil Eggleston is the guy that liberals call when scandals threaten to topple a regime. He is the guy that the Left calls on to cover its tracks and make sure that the crimes committed are never revealed to the American people.

The fact that Barack Obama chose a lawyer with extensive experience representing government officials in congressional and criminal investigations as his chief counsel should be enough to show that Congress is close to getting to the bottom of something.

Obama and The Wookie lost their law licenses back in Chicago - no explanation has ever surfaced, probably buried in that media black hole with his transcripts and foreign student ID badge.

Honcho said...

Honcho here.

And Parmesan Be Upon Him (PBUH). That would the the Holy Bratwurst.

Grumpy and WMD - didn't know that about the "dynamic duo". Need to look into that some more. I would have thought that losing your license to practice something arises only from something serious. But I know an electrical contractor who lost his simply because he retired - and hasn't kept the paperwork up-to-date. So, harrumph. Lawyers in love ...

I missed that somehow about Eggleston. Wonder why some of the blogs I go to seemed to have looked it over.

Dennis Miller, though I often do not understand his blather, is one helluva funny guy. Like the man. National resource. Tighter than a bratwurst.... snort.

PRY said...

Off the subject,but did anyone else enjoy the SCOTUS unanimous slapdown of Jugear's NLRB appointees made during congress's 'recess' back in 2012? Hey, I'll take what we can get and be glad for it! Now, monday we'll see what the ruling is about Hobby Lobby and so-called healthcare madates about birth control! But today's decision almost made me giddy, like an oasis in a desert!

Geoff King said...

Seeing as how there is nothing going on either in the world or domestically, and since their approval rating is so high, it is good to see that congress is taking all of August off and only plans on being in session for around one month for the rest of the year:

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Terrific comments above! Seriously, it seems like since I took one week off, there's an uptick in the number of people posting and it's all smart, funny, high caliber material! Maybe I should just shut up and let you guys carry the conversation more often!

I haven't been able to respond much today because my computer crashed (seriously, somewhere Lois Lerner is laughing her butt off) though things seem to be largely restored now.

Anyway, keep up the good work!