Monday, September 15, 2014

Apocalypse Nan

obama, obama jokes, cartoon, political, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, pelosi, gop, senate, midterm, elections, 2014

When the news is grim, it's nice to know that we can always count on Nancy Pelosi to give us a laugh. Granted, it's the kind of nerve-shredding laugh that the demented Renfield cackled in "Dracula" while raving about eating spiders and flies, but still - we'll take levity where we find it.

In this case, Nancy (who is at least as nuts as Renfield was) appeared on the Bill Maher show to talk about the ass-kicking her party expects in the upcoming midterms. According to Ms. Pelosi, highly satisfied Democrats won't come to the polls because "fear is a motivator and we are not fear-mongers. The Democrats are messengers of hope."

So, what was her non-fear-mongering hope-filled message for Maher's audience? “Civilization as we know it today would be in jeopardy if the Republicans win the Senate.” Yikes!

Indeed, the seven signs of the Democrat Apocalypse will be upon us: Bills would actually get debated in the Senate, budgets would be written again, the worst parts of Obamacare could be repealed, meaningful immigration reform could take place, full investigations of scandals like Benghazi and the IRS would finally happen, the abuse of presidential "privilege" could be checked, and Harry Reid would have to go back to sleeping in an earth-filled coffin during daylight hours.

In other words, it will be Civilization as we'd like to know it again.

 In case you were wondering what made us think about Renfield...


Jim Hlavac said...

First, eh? Haven't done that in a while ... good morning everyone, and how are we today?

Well, besides the lunacy of La Wacka Pelosi -- predictions for the end of civilization are pretty common -- none have come to fruition, ever. Oh, some bumps, sure -- but people get on with their lives. Doom has been forecast by left, right and middle for centuries - "if we lose power, and the other side wins, we're done for!" -- Sure sure. Why, my own pursuit of happiness has been said to be a harbinger of doom, if you know what I mean, wink, wink.

Not even ISIS will bring doom -- just a disruption in the force. I deal with that at my blog.

Anyway - thanks for all the many links and insights I find here every time I come ... quite nice. I'm just glad I have my own blog where I can expand on things. And, well, that's it. Have a nice day. :)

REM1875 said...

Howdy Jim
Doc besides the uncanny physical similarities Nancy and renfield both truly seem to enjoy hanging around with blood suckers.
The end of civilisation as we still currently know it sounds good to me, but I believe it will be more like the restoration of civilisation.

TrickyRicky said...

I say let the restoration begin. I will be doing my part by continuing to get up dog tired every day (brand new puppy in the house), going to work so I can pay my "fair share" to avert the inevitable collapse another few weeks (who is John Galt, BTW) and counting the days until the midterms.

Wahoo said...

I don't know which is more painful to watch: Nancy Pelosi speaking or German porn.

Colby said...

Pelosi and Maher... the perfect pairing. Lord, I miss having adults in charge!

Judi King said...

Colby said it all. Pelosi, Maher? Hopefully we'll get a few more adults in charge come November!

WMD said...

Clearly the syphillis has been over-taking nazi pelosi's cognitive abilities.
What little she may have had has now vanished. Between the venereal disease, alcoholism and botox injections, I doubt she has the ability to tie her own shoes. And God forbid someone should slam a door in her presense, I'm afraid to imagine what would happen to that perpetual look of surprise she has permanently chiseled into her (ahem) "face".

Geoff King said...

Nancy "We have to pass the bill to find out what's in it" Pelosi has obviously had at least one too many Botox injections in her face. This has caused her eyebrows to try and join her receeding hairline. Unfortunately, it has also caused her to be unable to shut her mouth and evidently some of that toxin has made it's way to her brain as she doesn't even know Africa is a continent:

Bruce Bleu said...

I enjoy the jibes you extend to Nazi Pegrosi, but I've got to tell ya... back in 1874 she was quite fetching, (the NEWSPAPER and STICKS).

John the Econ said...

Well, Nancy is correct in the sense that civilization as she knew it would likely change. (albeit, I seriously doubt it would end, considering the current state of establishment Republicanism) Nancy and her ilk live in a charmed bubble where their own personal survival is assured, forever, unlike the millions of people who are made to support the reality distortion field all these people ensconce themselves within.

But judging from the GOP marketing I've been seeing over the last month or so, the Republicans seem to have little to offer the nation beyond "We're not them". Fine. I get that. Then just what are you? There's no real agenda.

Yeah, you say you oppose "immigration reform". But just what does that mean? Immigration does need reform. What's your plan?

Yeah, you say you oppose ObamaCare and wish to repeal it. But the damage is done. ObamaCare has already succeeded in most of its primary mission to disrupt and destroy what was left of private care in America. If you repeal it, just what do you suggest should be done to repair the irreparable?

Yeah, the Obama "lead from behind" non-leadership is a disaster, Iraq is lost, Russia runs amok, the world is beginning to see what a post-American world is going to look like, and Mitt Romney deserves credit for pointing all this out 2 years ago. Obama doesn't seem to care, and the UN, which you'd think would be burning the midnight oil regarding this level of chaos is instead focused on "global warming", which has been MIA for 16 years now.

Again GOP? An alternative plan?

You guys don't even feign contempt for absurd out-of-control government anymore, a core GOP theme for decades. Yeah, I get it that keeping track of it all today is overwhelming. But hey, that used to be your job. How about proposing a commission that cuts the budget of government agencies that are so overfunded that they have the resources to engage in silliness like this? With all the forest fires and natural disasters going on, has the Forest Service got so much surplus that they can also worry about what campers eat? Or is Michelle Obama now holding their balls too?

The time is ripe for another "Contract with America" approach, with a solid agenda you actually claim to stand for. Today, you aren't even pretending to stand for anything, beyond "We hate Obama".

You're going to have to do better than that.

Dis-Logorrhea said...

Oh man, Doc. You're hilarious. Renfield .... Pelosi and her friends, the Progs, are truly vampires, sucking the life force out of us.

Colby said...

Well said Mr. Econ! I'm not a huge Hannity fan, but this is something he has been preaching for years. The Republican ship is largely rudderless. I fail to see why some of the big players can't even be bothered to get together for a couple of beers and make a simple 5 point promise. It wouldn't have to be elegant or lofty, jsut simple adn to the point. Then shame the RINO's into signing on. It seems like such a simple concept. I guess there are too many big egos.

John the Econ said...

@Colby, is it all about "big egos", or is it that most of the GOP "big players" are comfortable with the status quo?

Even as being a minority player, life is pretty comfortable in the DC reality-distortion bubble. You get the same expense accounts as the majority, and K Street is just as interested in your attention. The steak and booze in the restaurants is the same, and they get the same generous taxpayer-paid benefits. In many ways, it's much easier to exist as a minority player than it is to step up and be actual leaders. Being a real leader means hard work and heat.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Jim Hlavac- I tend to ignore most political predictions of doom, though I actually believe that an EMP attack (or physical assault on our electric grid) or solar flare could pretty much doom the United States as we know it. Our civilization is now built on thin technological ice.

If a revitalized GOP finally acted on hardening our grid it would be a real accomplishment - but I ain't holding my breath.

@REM1875- Nancy's idea of civilization is, indeed, something I'd like to see jeopardized.

@TrickyRicky- Hey, congrats on the new puppy! Penny (the official dog of Hope n' Change) is around 10 months old now and is still a real handful. She's a sweety, though.

@Wahoo- I once saw some German porn which involved a bed, a pig, a knife, a naked woman, a naked man on a tall ladder, and a bag of flour. So I can say with high confidence that Nancy Pelosi is more painful to watch.

@Colby- If I had actually seen their broadcast together, blood would still be shooting out of my eyes.

@Judi King- I hope to see adults back in charge someday, but I've come to doubt that voters - spoiled children that they are - want adults in charge.

@WMD- I think Nancy's face has been so immobilized with botox that if she were truly surprised, her only means of expression would be a glass-shatteringly shrill fart.

@Geoff King- Nancy defended her remark by pointing out that, to her at least, "all black countries look alike."

@Bruce Bleu- True fact: after photographing Nancy Pelosi in the nude, Mathew Brady turned to taking battlefield pictures of the Civil War just to get the image out of his mind.

@John the Econ- You do a great job of summing up my feelings about the GOP establishment. I've received lots of "urgent" requests for donations during this election season and haven't given a dime (usually nuking the request while muttering something unprintable).

While I'm truly hoping that the GOP will take the senate, I can't pretend that I'm wildly optimistic about what good might come of it. Then again, I'd love to be wrong.

@Dis-Logorrhea- It genuinely feels like they're sucking our life force. I've mentioned before that I seem to be aging in dog years since Obama and company took over. It's not a joke.

@Colby- I like Sean Hannity as a person but can only take his show in measured doses. But he has been right about the cowardice and lack of direction in the GOP.

And I like the idea of putting together something clear like a "5 point promise." Now that would be a beer summit worth having.

Colby said...

As much fun as it is to make jokes about Nan's artificial face, her true ugliness lies deep within. The moonbats that vote for her time after time after time would be horrified to see the real Nan. Of course she is safe because her moonbats are way too busy getting high and "occupying" space to search for the truth about her.

@John the Econ,
Good point! It's the backup linebacker who get to walk on his own legs without a cane when he gets old. Far too many of these overpaid leeches are content to vote "present." After all, it's teh second mouse who gets teh cheese.

however, there do seem to be a few new ones who have passion for the constitution's essence, and I pray this crowd grows and grows. We could use a few hundred more Louis Gohmert's and Trey Gowdy's!

Judi King said...

You're all spot on today. We obviously need conservatism in congress but I fear that will be a long time coming. We also need term limits for ALL branches of government, but congress will never vote for that because they'd have to give up their life time power and benefits

John the Econ said...

@Colby, there may be a few. But the reality remains that DC is far to comfortable place for these people, which has led to our current conundrum: By it's very nature, DC attracts the rent-seeking leaches that we least need running this country while it actively repels the very kind of people we so desperately need.

Or in other words, the irony is in that we need people who are willing and able to say "screw you, I don't need you or this" to the power structure as our leaders. It's the one advantage that Romney had over Obama. Romney doesn't need government in order for him to have a comfortable, fulfilling, meaningful life, whereas Obama does.

Pamecon said...

Nancy is also a minimum wage law evader & Obamacare waiver recipient. If only the rest of us could be so lucky!

Geoff King said...

Speaker Nancy Pelosi gave a speech and handed the gavel to John Boehner. Very emotional moment for Pelosi, but she managed to keep a stiff upper lip, a tightly stretched forehead, and unnaturally arched eyebrows." –Jay Leno

"Ohio Republican John Boehner will take over for Nancy Pelosi. Those are some big eyes to fill." –Jay Leno

"Nancy Pelosi has now been elected the new House minority leader. She was smiling from ear to ear, which is pretty impressive considering how far her ears have been pulled back." –Jay Leno

"Of course, this all couldn't have been done without the help of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. And today, the president thanked her for her unblinking support." –Jay Leno, on the passage of health care reform

"Actually, Nancy Pelosi used the Internet to help gain support for this. She reached out to people on her favorite social networking site," –Jay Leno

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

You have really captured the bat shit crazy bitch.

Anonymouseseses said...

Geoff - good record keeping. The kind of records I like. "Unblinking support".

But you know, I think the Doc is wrong. I think Pelosi is Jack Nicholson's twin sister from the shining. It's just that she has a broomstick stuck up her ass.

Judi King said...

Good ones, Geoff.

Anonymouseseses said...

Media bias? There ain't no stinkin' media bias!

Bruce Bleu said...

Like what Stanley Ann Dunham's ova said when Frank Marshall Davis's schmeggy was on the way to fertilizing the now infamous lamont insane obamski.. "bad-jizz... we don't need no stinkin' bad-jizz!"

Dodsfall said...

Stock tips? Nope, flat out insider trading and appropriating money directly to her husband's business interests.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Dodsfall- You're absolutely right. I had to condense to "stock tips" because of space constraints (word balloons are unforgiving taskmasters).