Monday, November 2, 2015

Spring Forward, Fall On Your Face

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, daylight saving time, lefty lucy

In Stanley Kubrick's classic "Dr. Strangelove," the world is plunged into nuclear war owing to General Jack D. Ripper's obsession with protecting our nation's "precious bodily fluids.

Frankly, Hope n' Change thinks that General Ripper, while well-intended, was completely missing the more serious threat. Specifically, the threat to our nation's "precious bodily biorhythms" owing to the pernicious Daylight Saving Time conspiracy.

Seriously, the government just declares a reversal of time and expects us to suck it up without confusion, nausea, and disrupted sleep patterns? Granted, this hits us harder at Hope n' Change than it does many others owing to the fact that we suffer from "dyscloxia" which prevents us from reading the face of a clock after the time change and having any idea whatsoever what time it really is.

We're not kidding. We're writing this at 1:22 pm and can honestly tell you that we are clueless about whether it should actually be 12:22 or 2:22. But we know with absolute certainty that it's only an evil and all-powerful government claiming (preposterously) that it's 1:22 and we're not buying it.

We fail to see any upside to Daylight Saving Time whatsoever, with the slight exception that since the government has declared time to be malleable, we can pretty much declare it to be "happy hour" whenever we like.


obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, daylight saving time, obamacare, enrollment

Yes, the healthcare insurance marketplace has reopened, giving Americans (like us!) who have been thrown off the Obamacare plans we got last year the opportunity to look at the newer, more expensive, more limited plans being offered to us at government gunpoint.

We'd like to say more, but somewhere it's happy hour!


Joseph ET said...

One of the biggest reasons we change our clocks to Daylight Saving Time (DST) is that it reportedly saves electricity. Newer studies, however, are challenging long-held reason. Studies done in the 1970s by the U.S. Department of Transportation show that we trim the entire country's electricity usage by about one percent EACH DAY with Daylight Saving Time.
Daylight Saving Time "makes" the sun "set" one hour later and therefore reduces the period between sunset and bedtime by one hour. This means that less electricity would be used for lighting and appliances late in the day. We may use a bit more electricity in the morning because it is darker when we rise, but that is usually offset by the energy savings in the evening
There are exactly the same number of hours of daylight. Instead of changing the clocks, change the hours your work place operates. I can't even begin to imagine what this costs us twice a year to play this silly game. Use standard time, all the time. The sun is never wrong.

bocopro said...

Lucy is simply adorable. If I send you the necessary components -- you know, lungs, feet, elbows -- could you make one for me? I'll pay shipping and handling fees.

Dont' worry about cleaning her up. I'll bathe her when she gets here . . . and regularly thereafter.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Joseph ET- I started using electricity at 5 in the freakin' morning today because of DST. Now, the lights, computer, and desk fan are all gobbling power when I ought to still be asleep. And will I make up for this at the other end of the day? No I will not - because I don't know when the hell to go to bed anymore and suspect that I'm staying up an hour longer than usual with all of my electrical devices ablazing. Bah, humbug.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@bocopro- I'd like to help, but Lucy is a strong, independent young woman who makes her own choices. Granted, those choices usually stink - but they're hers to make.

Cat Whisperer said...

Before Lefty Lucy’s time, there was a President back in the late ‘70s that wanted us to push back our thermometers. Things did get cooler so we all put on sweaters. We then boycotted the Olympics to protest the Soviet Union’s increased carbon footprint in Afghanistan.

Geoff King said...

Here in Arizona we take pride in the fact that we do not observe Daylight SavingsTime. We never change our clocks or sleep patterns and life seems to progress quite normally.
I believe the twice a year ritual is a plot by Eveready and Duracell to get everyone in the habit of buying their batteries to replace the perfectly good ones in your smoke detectors. Most detectors will start beeping when the battery is dying and that battery is never used unless there is a fire and a power failure at the same time.

Fred Ciampi said...

OK, let's see if I have this right; daylight savings ended Sunday at two AM. At that time we were supposed to set our clocks back to one AM. However, one hour later it's 2 AM all over again. Are we supposed to then turn the clocks back again? It's all so confusing. Last time this happened I was all the way back to 1954 before I was able to stop. Oh, the humanity......
Oh, the moonshine ...... And speaking of moonbeam, don't get me started on governor Jerry .... or his successor.....

bocopro said...

Well, we COULD all just set our clocks back to the 7th century as Islamdom has done. Or perhaps placate the IPCC and set our calendars back to the late Pleistocene.

Anonymous said...

Actually in Dr Strangelove, nuclear war was averted as Cap Mandrake figured out the recall code and phoned it in after Keenan Wynn shot up the Coke machine to get change

American Cowboy said...

In the higher elevations elk hunting I encountered snow Saturday. Not much, but enough to make it chilly.
I felt cold air around my neck when I woke up Sunday morning as the wool blanket in my bedroll was a little short. Fortunately I was able to trim off about a foot of it off the bottom with my Buck knife and temporarily attach it at the top end, my blanket was instantly longer, never mind that my sock feet were now cold.
Okay, the part about my blanket was made up, but a weekend hunting the back-country, just me, my saddle horse, and a pack horse helped me forget the sorry state this country is in, for a couple days anyway.

Rod said...

My illness is more complex. I have a helluvatime remembering if we should travel east or west to find the right time.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Cat Whisperer- Say what you will about that president, but he wasn't the worst ever. Although he probably was until Barry took office.

@Geoff King- Back when I lived in Indiana, we didn't change our clocks either. The only difference was what time television shows came on, which worked out fine.

@Fred Ciampi- As you point out, there can be an endless loop of setting the clock back. And speaking of endless loops, as I write this I'm listening to excruciating "on hold" music trying to see if there are any insurance plans available to me which are worth a damn. (Spoiler alert: there aren't)

@bocopro- NOW you're talking. Might as well turn back everything and get it over with.

@Zardoz the Magnificent- I beg to differ. Nuclear war was almost averted owing to the events you describe...but one American bomber made it through, and Slim Pickens rode a nuke like a rodeo bull, whooping and waving his cowboy hat all the way down. After which all the missiles flew and nuclear destruction broke out as a singer sang "We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when..."

@American Cowboy- I've never gone anywhere on a horse which wasn't firmly attached to a carousel, but the idea is growing on me.

@Rod- Now that you mention it, I don't know which way to go either. Although I've got some pretty clear ideas where Washington should go.

John the Econ said...

Oh Lucy, I don't know what's more depressing; that you actually believe that it's actually possible for our leaders to change the climate to something they consider more politically correct, or that our leaders themselves actually seem to believe it too.

Expect the climate rhetoric to ratchet up to 11 in the coming weeks as we approach the COP21 conference in Paris, where the politics of the "watermelons" (green on the outside; red on the inside) and various aligned special interest groups will exposing themselves for what they really are; anti-capitalists, socialists, communists, and general control freaks desiring nothing less than complete control over your lives.

Want a preview of what these people have in mind for society? Examples are legion, but here's a good one; don't dare speak out against these people, what they stand for, or what they plan to do or they will destroy you. Today, they only have the power to destroy your career. But ultimately, they seek to put you in prison for daring to question their science, agenda, or methods.

BTW, I think it's great that the Democrats are going to make "climate change" the focus of their campaign. Let them own an issue that in poll after poll of actual Americans ranks down with issues like Justin Bieber and and "toenail fungus". Outside of the class of wealthy elites and government dependents, real issues like a stagnant economy, government spending, runaway immigration, affordable health care, and the highest real unemployment since Jimmy Carter are things the rest of America are interested in. Hear that GOP? Probably not.

ObamaCare: It's really a shame (and probably by design that it doesn't) that the ObamaCare exchanges don't open up a few weeks before November so that people can have a fresh reminder of what a success the 8 years have been.

It's probably heresy for me so say so, but it might actually be better for the GOP if they lose next year. The next President is going to inherit an imploding Middle East, an exploding budget deficit as the interest on the Obama era spending spree overtakes the budget, and ObamaCare finally achieves its goal of collapsing the remnants of privately provided and financed health care. "Single payer" is inevitable by the end of the decade, even if the GOP wins.

For a glimpse of your dismal future under government-run health care, you don't have to take my word for it; just look at how our veterans are treated under their "single payer" paradigm. (Even Hillary now sees it, even though she thought things were just fine there a week ago)

Time change: I agree wholeheartedly. What a pain it is going around the house twice a year to change over a dozen clocks and watches for no good reason other than to placate economic theories going back over 100 years.

John the Econ said...

@Geoff King, actually every time the topic of changing or eliminating "daylight savings time" comes up, there are hearings in Washington where various special interest show up and make a case based entirely on how doing so would affect their business. For example, sporting goods companies think more daylight translates into the sale of more sporting goods because people will have more daylight time to play after work.

@Fred Ciampi, don't laugh. Years ago, a major software company programmed their software to automatically adjust for the time change. Either their programmers were not particularly bright, or they didn't bother to test their code because it did exactly what you hypothesize; it put the computer into an endless loop stuck between 1 and 2am.

Joseph ET said...

I have always been against the time change routine. There is really no good point. But the worst part is the affect it has on our critters. In the fall, they don’t understand why they are being feed so late and in the spring it’s not understood why we are feeding then so early. Seems that their little tummies have their own clocks. It takes about ten days for them to adapt.

TheOldMan said...

Coming to a clock near you:

Anonymous said...

I stand corrected

chef621 said...

I have to smile when I think of Someone on high laughing so hard that He has to hold His sides, when these insignificant creatures on this blue ball actually believe that they can control the weather and the time. How amusing.

He has a plan however which will clean up the mess. He has had it for millennia. He calls it His "seven year" plan. When it starts, and it looks like it's close, none of these other things that we worry about now will amount to a hill of beans.

At the end of the seven years, those lucky enough to survive will have a new and better place to live and a King who rules with a rod of iron. There will be peace.
"and the lion wil lie down with the lamb."

TheOldMan said...

"...COP21 conference in Paris,..." Well at least they'll be teleconferencing instead of burning tons of jet fuel being there in person, right? Right? Oh never mind!

KHarn said...

JEEZE! When this thing rolls around again, let's just set the clocks ahead a HALF HOUR and leave it at that!
But seriously, our world is now 24/7 so it matters not what time it is. Abandon this crazy thing, it's obsolete.

HeroHog said...

We were already on the ragged edge of what we could afford with the Obozocare cat-ass-trophic plan with it's $6,000 deductible, NO medicine coverage, 70/30 in area coverage and virtually ZERO affordable in plan doctors/clinics to be had in our area so the percentage gets MUCH closer to 50/50 and with the rate increase, even with our subsidy, we simply can't afford it! It is actually cheaper NOT to have insurance for us than it is to have insurance!

Popular Front said...

Time to give Lucy her Pink slip I think. NOBODY, not even the average leftie, is that stupid.

REM1875 said...

John the Econ
Saddest thing the next President will inherit is HIS media. While President Bush has been blamed for 7 years now with more to come, the zero's policy failures end the first tuesday of nov 2016 and the new president elect will begin being blamed for all that has happened since he announced he was running.

REM1875 said...

I'm not sure about electric saving due to daylight saving but I do know that when berry and his minions are through with us it will save on the candles we light our caves and hovels with.

Judi King said...

The heck with the critters....since DST goes on for about 7 months and real time for 5, MY brain is totally screwed for the entire Winter. Also, I'm afraid poor Lucy is only the tip of the iceberg. EG what has been sent to DC by lefties. BTW I love Mr. Econ's "watermelon" analogy.

Rod said...

HERE'S HOW TO SAVE ELECTRICITY: The old German farmer is nearing his end; he's in bed in the master bedroom. He asks his wife if she's there with him. "Yes Dear, I'm here." He asks if the girls are with him. "Yes Dear, all the girls are here with you." What about the boys? "Yes Dear, the boys are here too." "WELL", he asks. If everyone is here with ME, what's the light doing on in the kitchen?"

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- It's hard for me to picture the Dems getting a lot of mileage out of a climate change campaign. It's just not that important to a lot of people, and isn't as much visceral fun as the class envy and racial/sexual/ethnic hatred that usually powers presidential campaigns on the left.

You may be right about a possible GOP president inheriting an insoluble nightmare from Obama, but I don't want to see another minute of a Democrat (especially Hillary) in the White House. There are certain collapses we could never come back from, and I'd like to forestall those as long as possible.

The insurance thing is currently a bug WAY up my backside, as I spend days trying to decipher plans and try to maintain at least a little control and choice over my healthcare and doctors. I'm not going to go into detail here about my personal finances, but MAN is this system screwed.

And as always, it adds to my nervous tic to go to to fill out their forms and be asked my race (there are about 20 choices, only one of which is simply a skin color: White) and also read assurances that "you don't have to be a U.S. citizen to receive benefits!"

@Joseph ET- Penny, the Official Dog of Hope n' Change, hasn't had to adapt to the time change. She simply starts barking an hour "earlier" on the clock, and I have to get up to take care of her. At which point I turn on every freaking light in the house just to waste electricity.

@TheOldMan- I'd seen that before, but really enjoyed seeing it again. The tortured cry "What time is it?!" sounds ripped from my own soul.

@Zardoz the Magnificent- Hey, you showed an excellent grasp of the movie and only got tripped up on a detail. By the way, if there's ANYONE here who has never seen "Dr. Strangelove," then do it immediately.

@chef621- I just wish there'd been an 11th Commandment saying "Thou shalt not mess with your clocks twice a year."

@TheOldMan- Do as we say, not as we doo-doo.

@KHarn- I agree. Daylight Saving Time should be put into a cold dark grave. Specifically, a cold grave that gets dark an hour earlier than usual.

@HeroHog- Because I've worked my whole life and not spent diddly squat, I actually have some assets tucked away...which is why I can't afford to not have health insurance. If my wife or I is struck with catastrophic illness, the bills could decimate what we hope to eventually leave our daughter. Otherwise, I'd pay Obama's fine - and pay my doctors cash.

@Popular Front- I think you sadly underestimate the stupidity of the Left.

@REM1875- You're right. In the media's eye, the Obama administration will be a (pardon the expression) black hole when it comes to assigning blame for anything wrong. What wasn't the fault of George W will be the fault of whoever the next president is.

Regarding candles, I'm sorry but you can't use those either because they emit pollutants.

@Judi King- I think my body finally adjusts to the time change about 1 day before the next time change.

And yes, John the Econ's "watermelon" analogy is perfect - but good luck sharing it with any liberals and not getting called racist.

@Rod- What a beautiful and practical story.

Sortahwitte said...

Stilton. My favorite movie of all time is Dr. Strangelove. I was in highschool when it first came out. I was a smartass, loved black humor and satire. It was a code to live by. From "you'll have to answer to the coca cola company" to "gentlemen! you can't fight in the war room!. And George C. Scott with the perpetually wiggling eyebrows. I completely wore out the vhs copy I had. I have a spare dvd just in case. I'm still a smartass and love black humor and satire.

Popular Front said...

With Sortahwitte on 'Dr Strangelove'.
If you'd never heard of the film and were watching it for the first time, you'd probably see it as straight drama until the brilliant Sterling Hayden does his revealing speech finishing with "..........all of our precious bodily fluids!" Up until that point he seems a calm and rational officer but he gets a weird look in his eye when he says the last three words. That's when you suddenly realise he's completely nuts. Great acting.

It is best to watch closely in real time to see it, slo-mo or frame-by-frame really doesn't reveal it but it's there.