Friday, December 18, 2015

Aloha Akbar

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, terror, hawaii, vacation, san bernardino

Following criticism of his seeming insensitivity to the largest terror attack on U.S. soil since 9/11, Barack Obama is reluctantly making a brief pit stop in San Bernardino to express scripted condolences before continuing his flight to a 5-star multi-million dollar vacation in Hawaii.

Based on his previous comments about the slaughter, we expect him to spend most of his time telling victims' families how great Muslims are, how important it is not to hold grudges ("especially at a time of year when many Americans, immigrants, and refugees celebrate the holiday of their choice"), and that he's doing everything in his power to discourage ISIS recruitment by letting terrorists out of Guantanamo Bay.

Of course, it's not just the people of San Bernardino who are affected and frightened by domestic terror, which is why the president has already issued comforting words on his way to the land of umbrella drinks, pupu platters, and Secret Service protection - saying there are no "specific and credible threats" to the homeland at the moment.

Just like the day before the bloodbath in San Bernardino.

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, democratic, debate, sanders, hillary, star wars

The long, long wait is nearly over. Yes, we're talking about the next Democratic presidential debate which has been curiously scheduled for Saturday night.

What's curious about that? Well, it's the last Saturday before Christmas, so presumably most people who aren't complete social pariahs will be at parties instead of huddling around the TV. And millions of others will be packing theaters to see the new Star Wars movie (spoiler alert: under the mask, Kylo Ren turns out to be a vengeful Jar Jar Binks).

Still, that leaves some people who will be eager to see a tough, head-to-head competition. Which is why they'll be watching the football game between the New York Jets and the Dallas Cowboys which is scheduled opposite the debate.

Now take Republicans, conservatives, and the clinically sane out of the remaining viewing demographics and you end up with such a tiny number of potential viewers that it's almost like the Democratic party really doesn't want people to see and hear their candidates.

And as Yoda might say, "blame them, you cannot."


Mike aka Proof said...

I thought it a little odd that Obama should feel the need to repeat that there was "No Credible Threat", which doesn't mean there is no threat, only that we might not know about one.
I forgot that our part-time POTUS was going on vacation again and needed a bit of a fig leaf for pursuing his golf game.

Joseph ET said...

@Stilton Another great issue today. Well done. I think that when they say "there are no "specific and credible threats" to the homeland at the moment." It means that things are indeed going on but they don't know who is doing it and they don't have the exact time, date and place. Weasel words ?

Jon said...

I'm anxiously counting the days until Barry the Buffoon is out of office - - but my biggest fear is that Hillary will take his place. All of the jackasses who voted for the first mulatto president will eagerly be voting for the first Grandma president.

I've been visiting your fantastic blog for about a year, but only commented one previous time. Just wanted you to know I'm here and enjoying it.

Geoff King said...

When the going gets tough...the wimp goes on vacation.
Although it is true that Dubya took more vacation time than Ă˜bastard has, according to Judicial Watch the travel cost of going to his ranch in Texas ran us a tab of around $20 million over his entire presidency, whereas Emperor Hussein has already racked up a bill of over $70 million. That is only in travel expenses and does not include the cost of the lavish accommodations, golf outings, or primo cocaine he will no doubt be charging us for.
Oh well, after he completely destroys our economy, no future president will be able to get away with stealing that much money from the impoverished taxpayers.

Anonymous said...

About that Star Wars "spoiler alert": Have you seen this article that was published a few weeks ago? Same joke, but with evidence to back it up

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mike aka Proof- Exactly right. Barry isn't saying there's no threat, he's saying that any threat has successfully eluded his intelligence-gathering apparatus.

@Joseph ET- The weasliest of weasel words. Barry might just as well have waved from the door of Air Force One and said "good luck, suckers!"

@Jon- Very glad to have you here! The idea of Hillary continuing this madness for another 4 or 8 years depresses the heck out of me. I don't want to believe it can happen, but then I didn't think voters would put B. Hussein back in the oval office a second time. We are living in crazy times.

@Geoff King- I actually believe that Dubya did presidential work while on vacation at the Crawford ranch, and spent much of the rest of the time doing things like chopping firewood instead of going to 5-star restaurants. And frankly, when tallying Barry's vacation time we should really include his innumerable trips to the golf course from the White House, and quite possibly the times he is "unreachable" in the White House (as was the case while Benghazi burned) because he may be enjoying a little "trip" within the confines of his own admittedly drug-friendly noggin.

@Anonymous- That's a pretty funny theory. Maybe I was intuitively on to something and didn't know it!

Bruce Bleu said...

If Sarah Palin had slurred her speech like lamont does, she would have been eviscerated in the media. All she did was say "nothin'" or "goin'", NEVER "corpse-men" or the many other verbal faux-pas that the presidunce does.

John the Econ said...

Speaking of how great Muslims are, did you catch this?

Kuwait Airways scraps London-New York flight after dispute over Israeli passengers

Yup, that's right. If they can't openly discriminate against Jews, then they're just gonna take their marbles and go home.

"The airline has this week pulled its connection between New York's JFK airport and London Heathrow after U.S. authorities threatened legal action over alleged discrimination. The U.S. Department of Transportation (DOT) in September warned the Kuwaiti carrier that it had "unlawfully discriminated" against a passenger using an Israeli passport by refusing to sell him a ticket.

It sent a letter giving the airline 15 days to outline how it would in the future comply with anti-discrimination laws. Kuwait Airways response, according to the DOT, appears to have been to drop its London-New York route."

And these are the "moderate" and "peaceful" Muslims that we are supposedly bigoted for not openly welcoming into our country.

Anyone think this will come up in this weekend's Democratic debate?

Speaking of people from the "moderate" and "peaceful" countries:

Saudi millionaire cleared of raping teenager after telling court he may have accidentally penetrated 18-year-old when he tripped and fell on her

"A Saudi millionaire has been cleared of raping a teenager after claiming he might have accidentally penetrated the 18-year-old when he tripped and fell.
Property developer Ehsan Abdulaziz, 46, was accused of forcing himself on the young woman as she slept off a night of drinking on the sofa in his plush flat in Maida Vale, west London. He had already had sex with her 24-year-old friend and said he might have fallen on top of the teenager while his penis was poking out the top of his underwear."

I don't know what's more absurd here; the defense or the fact that it worked. But more so, what I really don't understand are the number of Progressive women who constantly whine about America's largely imaginary "rape culture" and yet simultaneously argue for open borders for a culture that transparently treats women as disposable chattel.

John the Econ said...

The difference between the GOP and Democrat Debates: While the last GOP debate seemed to be mostly about how to pummel ISIS, I predict tomorrow's Democratic debate to continue the bidding war for dependent Democratic votes. So it's not surprising that the party of handouts itself wants a handout:

Democrat Party is Broke – Wants US Taxpayers to Fund Their 2016 Convention

"Already struggling with finances, the Democratic Party has drafted a plan to have taxpayers help pay about $20 million for next summer’s nominating convention, reversing a change Congress approved just a year ago."

If I as a taxpayer will be forced to pay for a political party's convention, then I should be allowed to vote at it I think.

Speaking of tomorrow's debate, think this will come up?

Sanders campaign threatens legal action against DNC

"Bernie Sanders' campaign on Friday threatened to take the Democratic National Committee to federal court if the party organization doesn't restore the campaign's access to a crucial voter database. The development came after the DNC cut Sanders off from the database and charged that the Vermont senator's presidential campaign exploited a software error to improperly access confidential voter information collected by Hillary Clinton's team."

I have to admit that I'll probably be watching the Jets vs. Cowboys. I'd much rather watch two teams actually trying to beat each other to win versus a bidding war for "the poor" and crony capitalists.

Colby Muenster said...

I'll offer that "No credible threat" is in the eyes of the beholder. Are these Islamic terrorist animals going to harm even one hair on The Exalted Potentate's head? Of course not. Two reasons for that: 1) he is probably the greatest and most effective weapon they possess, and 2) he's surrounded by roughly a bazillion times more security than a movie theater, office "holiday" party (guns banned), or a school (guns really banned). I fervently hope he has soooo much fun in Hawaii, that he just decides to stay there and sip Mai Tai's and hang with the choom gang for the rest of his useless, self serving life. I, for one, would even suggest us taxpayers get our congress folks to offer him a few hundred million a year just to stay the fark away.

You know what would be funny? If Putin showed up in Hawaii, and went to Barry's to challenge him to a little friendly game of vodka pong, followed by a rousing few hours of "hide the kielbasa."

Billary's and Bernie's "debate" scheduling? Wow! I'll bet the DNC is completely flummoxed at their scheduling faux paux. I mean, how the hell were they supposed to know there were Christmas parties at Christmastime, and a friggin' NFL game on a Saturday?! "Oh woe is us! Somebody should have TOLD us about those things! What will we do NOW!?," cried Debbie Washedup-woman Shultz. "Aren't football games supposed to be on Monday's or something? And NOBODY celebrates xmas anymore; it's not PC!"

PRY said...

Colby...Having their worthless debate on Saturday night is a huge waste of time and money, so it fits right in with the rest of their stinking agenda!

Shelly said...

How sad is it that the DNC is trying to keep their primo candidate out of view? Debbie Wasserman-Schultz is a Clinton insider who was given that chair specifically to usher the old battle axe into the presidency. So if the best thing for Hillary is to hide from the voters, so be it. Suits me just fine. I can't stomach looking at her or hearing her anyway.

Rod said...

A two-year budget deal with one year left in this sorry administration?

That's only understandable if one assumes GOP is deathly afraid of the budget topic near the 2016 election as well. How much of a majority would these candy-asses need to do the job? Oh wait; they're all really in the same club.

We need a viable third party that knows how to play hardball and win. I fear we're at tipping point as a nation; with an unacknowledged invasion going on as well.

John the Econ said...

@Rod, I've been arguing for roughly a decade now that we've entered the "post budget" age. The budget is now so huge and such an out-of-control mess; it's literally unmanageable. It's just easier to keep passing "continuing resolutions". And it's largely a sham anyway, since the majority of the government's obligations are off-the-books. I guess I should give them credit in that there's kinda a budget now, since for the majority of the Obama Administration there has been none.

Budgets are actually written statements of priorities, and voting for one is a statement of responsibility for those priorities. The problem is that most of what is in the Federal budget today is politically embarrassing to somebody, and nobody wants their name attached to it.

It didn't take long, but it looks like former maverick conservative Paul Ryan has already been assimilated into the establishment. Interestingly, Newt Gingrich predicted this early on.

"You get to keeping the government open, to a continuing resolution, then you get to the debt ceiling, if you're not careful, by Christmas you resemble John Boehner," Gingrich said."