Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Strait of the Union

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, state of the union, SOTU, truth serum, 2016

Okay, this probably didn't happen last night. And for anyone who doesn't know, sodium pentothal is commonly known as "truth serum" and we hope to see it used on every member (current and former) of the Obama administration sometime in the future to assure accurate prison sentences.

Still, we felt like enjoying a bit of pleasant fantasy on the occasion of Barry's last State of the Union address (assuming our "October Surprise" isn't his declaration of martial law). While he still has a full year to do untold damage, at least the countdown for his exit is finally happening.

Of course, we couldn't fit all of his (ahem) "accomplishments" into the cartoon above. Let us not forget that in seven short years, he's also managed to polarize our society as never before, poison the relationship between police and communities, make astonishing numbers of people dependent on government benefit programs, crushed the middle class while enriching those at the very top, and chummed the waters for the international "climate change" sharks to take a big bite out of American prosperity.

And although he has long harped on the subject of gun control, he's done nothing to take guns out of the hands of actual criminals and gangs. But at his final State of the Union speech, Obama will call attention to an empty chair in the first lady's box (about which we're tempted to make a joke but won't) which represents "the victims of gun violence who no longer have a voice."

We think that empty chair might better symbolize the missing government functionary whose job it was to screen Islamic jihadists Syed Farook and Tashfeen Maleek before they were allowed into the country to commit the largest terror attack in America since 9/11. And there should be another empty chair to represent those brave Americans who died in Benghazi, and additional empty chairs for those shot with guns from the president's disastrous "Fast and Furious" program.

Surely Kate Steinle, brutally murdered by one of the president's illegal immigrants in a Democrat "sanctuary city" deserves an empty chair. There should be empty chairs to symbolize every soldier killed overseas while following the orders of a president who didn't believe in his own "strategy." Empty chairs for the Christians slaughtered overseas without a peep from this administration. And empty chairs for every man, woman, and child killed by Syrian chemical weapons after the president turned his back on his "red line" commitment and (bonus!) destroyed our nation's credibility.

In fact, the more we think about it, the president's address would most appropriately be given to a chamber in which every seat is as empty as the vapid promises he made to bring positive change to our nation.

But to end on an optimistic note, just remember that a year from now Obama will no longer be able to deliver his smug, poisonous lies to a joint session. In fact, the only "joint sessions" he's likely to attend in the future will be back in Hawaii with his choom gang.

THIS empty chair isn't symbolic. We just want to use it to smack the noggins of anyone who voted for Obama twice.


TMay said...

Actually the word is that Obama wants to run the UN and that Netanyahu is working against it.

Mike aka Proof said...

We should provide Obama with all the "vitamins" he wants between now and next January.

drjim said...

And we're all just waiting until this scum is out of OUR White House, and his chair is empty!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- I'm just now catching up on Barry's remarks (I decided not to watch). What can I say about him putting Joe Biden in charge of curing cancer? The punchlines pretty much write themselves.

TrickyRicky said...

What a waste of eight years. Not counting the unknown years of trying to undo the damage. Unfortunately I know many otherwise rational people who voted for him the first time and soon saw the errors of their ways. I will not associate with those who voted for the SOB twice. Too damn ignorant for me to waste my time talking to or thinking about. Lost a number of friends. Too effing bad.

JustSomeGuy said...

I assumed the empty chair was actually for CLint Eastwood, or the American Middle Class Taxpayer, neither of whom were welcome in Obama's world.

Fred Ciampi said...

I didn't watch it because I can't put any more bleach in my eyes as I have upcoming cataract surgery and I couldn't listen to the POSPOTUS because I can't stand it when my hearing aids explode. I'll just pick up snippets of it hear and there. Oh, where did I put my moonshine? .......

Geoff King said...

Didn't watch it and didn't miss a thing from what I've read. Lies, followed by conceit, followed by more lies.
It will probably go down in history as one of the least memorable SOTUs ever.

David aka True Blue Sam said...

I had that stuff when I had my wisdom teeth out. I am still wondering why it's not being sold by street dealers.

American Cowboy said...

Just tortured myself listening to a bit of this SOTFUU.

Ă˜barry, in the first few minutes informed us that the economy is rosy, healthcare is great, and people can now marry whoever they "love".

I don't think I can endure watching anymore if this is what the rest of his gag fest was like.

I can only hope that he doesn't fulfill what my, and many others, fears are and by executive order declare the legislative and judicial branches of government no longer needed, and that voting is too old fashioned for a "progressive" country like the United States of America.

Bobo the Hobo said...

I'm under doctor's orders to not watch or listen to this president; turns out this Administration triggers my Tourette's.

Omar al-Tikriti said...


Who are these pigs who voted for this pussy? We want them! Yes - bend over and .... well you know the rest.


This pussy is the epitome of the Great Satan!

OK, well the nurse is signaling me to come get my meds so .... peace out!


Woodsterman (Odie) said...

You nailed the essence that is Obama.

Rod said...

Didn't watch; but I could not avoid a few seconds of snippets later. It sounded exactly as expected. The entire approach sounded like it was the "State of Obama's Legacy" (a work of fiction)and not much truth about the USA. I wish there was magic mute button to turn this sick-minded jerk off all the time, in every way.

CenTexTim said...

He still has one more year to continue destroying what's left of our once-great country.

Be afraid. Be very, very afraid...

John the Econ said...

I didn't want the SOTU either, instead devoting my remaining brain cells to some late-evening work. Someone's gotta work to subsidize Obama's nonsense.

Still getting caught up, but it seems that his speech was just as expected; celebrating the fiction that is his success. Fortunately, most Americans don't buy it. As I've said many times here, it's much easier to sell bad times during good times by convincing people that people elsewhere they they don't know are suffering. On the other hand, it's much harder to sell good times during bad, since nearly everybody personally knows people who are suffering. For example, I don't think it's possible not to know someone who's not paying more for healthcare, or has been screwed by ObamaCare, or someone who is working multiple jobs and yet making less than they did before Obama's saved the economy.

@TMay, I'd say send Obama to the UN. The UN is hopelessly corrupt and like Obama, anti-American. It's a perfect fit. I believe the UN charter prevents him from being able to "run it", so he'd likely just disappear into the morass as the UN continues its decent into irrelevancy.

@Stilton, Biden writes the punch lines for us.

@T.L. Ullrich, the "Middle Class" has taken it on the chin for Obama, as "trickle-up" poverty continues to absorb more and more of them into the bottom.

Anonymous said...

You Sir are a true genius, one of your best!

Faith D. said...

Oh, no doubt he's been holding reunions of the choom gang in the East Wing once a week since he first occupied the office.

Colby Muenster said...

I hope the bursitis he got in his shoulder from patting himself on the back doesn't affect his golf game. Lord knows we all want him out on the links (i.e. NOT in our White House) as much as possible.

I sometimes complain about Direct TV having a bazillion channels of crap I never watch, but last night it came in rather handy. It's amazing how quickly "Shark Vacuum" can seem like an Emmy Award winner when compared to an O'Liar speech.

Biden is an obvious choice for "cancer czar." After all, he's been intimately close to the most tenacious and treacherous of deadly cancers for seven years now.

United Nations? It is my fervent prayer that our next president (Lord let 'em be a real conservative!) sees the UN for what it is, withdraws our membership, and kicks their asses out of New York! Let the socialist bastards plot their anti-American crap on soil that isn't in The USA.

John the Econ said...

So more more I read about last night, the less it seems I missed. Just as well. But it also seems that the obligatory "Official Response to the State of the Union" speech by South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley was equally as vapid. It's more proof that the establishment GOP still doesn't get it, and is today nothing more than an opposition party representing most Americans no better than the Democrats do.

"During anxious times, it can be tempting to follow the siren call of the angriest voices. We must resist that temptation.

No one who is willing to work hard, abide by our laws, and love our traditions should ever feel unwelcome in this country.

At the same time, that does not mean we just flat out open our borders. We can't do that. We cannot continue to allow immigrants to come here illegally. And in this age of terrorism, we must not let in refugees whose intentions cannot be determined.

We must fix our broken immigration system. That means stopping illegal immigration. And it means welcoming properly vetted legal immigrants, regardless of their race or religion. Just like we have for centuries."

I respond to this, but I think Mark Steyn does it better:

"That's not actually true. By "centuries", Mrs Haley means half-a-century - since the 1965 immigration act. Before then, America, like all nations, reserved the right to pick and choose which non-citizens it wished to admit. You may suspect that her declaration that "no one who is willing to work hard... should ever feel unwelcome in this country" sounds awfully like an "open borders" policy - after all sloths and slackabeds rarely identify themselves as such. But don't worry, if it is open borders, the Governor assures us that it's not "flat out" open borders. Like President Obama and Mrs Clinton, Nikki Haley trusts to the same kind of "proper vetting" whose results can be seen on the streets of San Bernadino, Paris and Cologne.

Unfortunately for her, this sentimentalist twaddle is not where the Republican base is. She's looking at immigration policy from the point of view of the seven billion hard-working soon-to-be-vetted Americans-in-waiting around the planet. But one of the changes this election season is that the party base is considering immigration policy from the point of view of the 300 million Americans who are already here."

What is Mrs Haley offering instead?

"If we held the White House, taxes would be lower for working families, and we'd put the brakes on runaway spending and debt."

Really? You don't get that impression from the Ryan budget.

"We would reform education so it worked best for students, parents, and teachers, not Washington bureaucrats and union bosses."

Like No Child Left Behind and Common Core?

"We would end a disastrous health care program, and replace it with reforms that lowered costs and actually let you keep your doctor."

And they say Trump lacks specifics...

"We would respect differences in modern families, but we would also insist on respect for religious liberty as a cornerstone of our democracy."

So where do you stand on state-enforced baking of gay wedding cakes?

"And rather than just thanking our brave men and women in uniform, we would actually strengthen our military, so both our friends and our enemies would know that America seeks peace, but when we fight wars we win them."

Yeah, well, absent Grenada and a couple of other skirmishes, you've got to go back seventy years for an example of that...

So these days the GOP can't even schedule an insipid forgettable SOTU response without insulting the overwhelming majority of its actual voters.

And this is how we may actually end up with a President Trump.

PRY said...

Geoff King...the folks at MSNBC thought it was the 'finest' speech he ever did! So, good call, my man!

Colby...I'm with you, get the US out of the UN, and the UN out of the US!!!

All in all, a most forgettable speech given be a demented and demon-possessed pitiful excuse for a human being, and filled with choom-driven fantasies about a utopia they believe can be achieved through human effort! Unfortunately, we will never be totally rid of his regal presence in coming years I' afraid; he's always been the 'man with the plan', and I'm sure he has many! God help us!

Popular Front said...

You've actually got a State Governor called 'Nikki'? Really? That name does wonders for the dignity of the position I'm sure. What is she? Some washed-up cheerleader?

RAP said...

Would not attempt your levels of memory and wit but would like to say this one is great and on the mark!

NVRick said...

I was lucky enough to have a very painful knee injury, so I went to bed without seeing this Emmy quality production. I screwed up my knee several days ago, (it's getting better--thank you) and due to self medication and refusal to seek "professional" medical care, I continue my decades old string of avoiding personal contact with doctors and hospitals, although my monthly $124 medicare payments are faithfully removed from my bank account. I took a "quiet day" today and my knee no longer screams like a banshee when walking.
I hope I'm not breaking any rules here, but I made this comment on yesterday' H&C:
Why are we comparing Dear Leader's administration to "1984"? The way they run things is more like Terry Gilliam's "Brazil". Gov't drones sitting at machines pushing buttons with no idea of what results.

Colby Muenster said...

On another subject... I heard something yesterday on Megyn Kelly that gave me pause. What could be a worse nightmare for the USA than President Shrillary? President Moonbeam Brown, that's what. Then again, there's the "free LSD for everyone!" thing that could at least help us all forget that we've packed up and moved to the asylum.

John the Econ said...

@Colby Muenster, every so often Gov Moonbeam's name as a possible contender keeps coming back like a bad rash. Fortunately for us, California these days is hardly a model of success that we'd wish inflicted upon the rest of the country, just as Baltimore is hardly a resume booster for O'Malley. They're fundamentally bankrupt yet spending lavishly on boondoggles instead on vital infrastructure, overrun with illegals, the state payroll is out-of-control, and if it weren't for Silicon Valley and the equities boom over the last 6 years, they'd be finished. (If the stock market doesn't recover before the end of the year, expect another corresponding fiscal crisis is Sacramento) For the last quarter century, middle-income people have been fleeing only to be replaced by low-income. And just like Obama, Moonbeam thinks "climate change" is his biggest problem. California's water problem could be solved for roughly half of what they're spending on their high-speed rail to nowhere.

Other topics:

Al Jazeera America to Shut Down by April

Al Gore, who sold (immediately before Obama's capital gains tax hike) his mediocre and failing "Current TV" to the carbon-spewing oil sheiks for half-a-billion is surely laughing today.

Surprise: Planned Parenthood to endorse Clinton

The "War on Women" continues. Why is it that nobody questions this taxpayer-subsidized organization endorsing political candidates?

This made headlines, but you need to get into the story to find out that it wasn't the "typical white person" who was the racist:

NYC yellow taxi driver accused of refusing ride to Al Roker because he’s black has done it before, calls incident a 'misunderstanding'

And finally, the Progressive elites war against the middle class marches forward:

A draft of the work of the Seattle mayor’s housing task force includes a big surprise: They have talked of doing away with the city’s single-family zoning

Eventually, you will be made to live where and how they tell you. It's the return of the high-rise ghetto.

TMay said...

About Seattle Yes I remember reading that that was a Progressive plan for the US. Get us into cities, in apartment buildings, using public transportation It makes services easier to dispense. Land could be used for food or for the environment. They planned to put hospitals in cities and make people have to travel from small towns to get to them.

Ned said...

"What can I say about (Obummer) putting Joe Biden in charge of curing cancer?"

If only he'd done that at the beginning of his term, my dad would be alive, and one of my best buddies and I would have avoided surgery and cancer treatments.

If only some of these researchers had learned early on that a room-temperature IQ politician could cure cancer. Just have Barry decree it. Guess me and many others have been praying to the wrong God.

Oh shit - if Obama does with cancer what he's done with the rest of the health care system, the whole country will likely expire within a year or two...

NVRick said...

@TMay, Straight out of the UN's Agenda 21.

Wahoo said...

Heard the Obamas went at it fast & furious last night. Barry was fast, and Moochelle was furious!

Malaysian Neocon said...

January 2017. Fallout from 8 years of horrific, bungling, SCOAMF Obama legacy is just starting to blanket the world.

Liberal media unanimously agrees that obviously, all these problems are President Trump's. #WeBlameTrump

CC said...

I'm holding out for waterboarding...