Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Alarm Crock

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, brothers keeper, rick ross, ankle, monitor, race, crime
Some news stories are so perfect that they need no comic embellishment whatsoever. And such was the case this past weekend when Barack Obama assembled a group of allegedly popular rappers (including Nicki Minaj, Busta Rhymes, J. Cole, Wale, DJ Khaled, and others we couldn't possibly pick out of a police line-up) to help with his "Brother's Keeper" initiative to encourage young black men to avoid incarceration for undocumented acts of wealth redistribution.

Unfortunately, the president had barely finished speaking when rapper Rick Ross's court-ordered ankle bracelet went off. It seems that the man selected by Mr. Obama to serve as an exemplary racial role model is required to wear the device until his trial date for aggravated assault and battery, pistol-whipping, and kidnapping. Tragically, Ross is not facing additional charges for performing rap in public - another sad reminder of the importance of quickly appointing a true conservative to the Supreme Court.

Call us old fashioned (unless you're a liberal, in which case you'll surely call us cross-burning racists) but Hope n' Change thinks the best way to discourage misogynistic, criminally anti-social behavior among black youths might not be honoring and elevating the rap artists who've made their millions by celebrating misogynistic, criminally anti-social behavior.

Rather, why not seek advice from someone like Ben Carson who came from tough inner city circumstances, rejected a path of criminality, studied hard, and not only had a successful career but also became a respected and vocal advocate for improving the lives of young black men.

It would be nice if the sound of a beeper in a "Brother's Keeper" summit meant a black man was being summoned to perform life-saving surgery rather than to report to his parole officer.

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, brothers keeper, rick ross, ankle, monitor, race, crime
Remember kids, if you work hard, stay in school, and dress'll never be invited to the White House.


Jim G. said...


And that's all I have to say about that.

Joseph ET said...

My last workplace was a very diversified place. But they preferred Filipinos, blacks and women of any stripe. The most racist group were the blacks. Just look at the so called black leaders that continue to call for the killing of all the whites. And then you have the entertainment groups like BeyoncĂ© celebrating the new black panthers at the Superbowl. Someone captioned a photo of that show with, “The KKK with a tan” Ain’t that the truth!
If white people were doing what these blacks are doing there would hell to pay, maybe even a little jail time. Lots of white folk got killed freeing the slaves back in the Civil War days. Any thanks? Nope! It seems that every day we hear some BS about racism since Obama and his crowd came into power and I’ll be glad when it stops.
Here’s a message: I never owned a slave and you never picked cotton. Now go about your business, and take that stupid white privilege crap with you.

drjim said...

The whole point of promoting these "celebrities" as role models is to continue stirring up racial animosity.

I suspect this summer we'll see some large cities in flames over this sh1t.....

Fred Ciampi said...

I don't think obonner would know respect if it hit him in the face. He is the most divisive poor example of a president to ever occupy the white house. That and everything that Joseph ET said.

Barry in Britain said...

Yo - ain't dat Moochelle in da middle photo?

Geoff King said...

IMHO: Rap is to music like finger paint is to art.
Of course, I said the same thing about Disco.

Jim Irre said...

They always bring in the blacks you love to despise. Stirring up racial disgust is easy for these assholes. Niki Minaj could suffocate the other brothas all at the same time if she were to park that gargantuan butt on their faces.

REM1875 said...

Well now this should unite us and ease racial tensions.

Timbo said...

Feed her some beans and see if she'll project herself into orbit.

Boligat said...

@Jim Irre

Bwahahahahahaha. I was going to comment about Nikki Minaj, but after reading yours, well... there just isn't any point in trying. You owe me a keyboard.

American Cowboy said...

Who is the bearded, nude woman in the second photo? Not that I really want to know. . .
Most all of them look like the fine, upstanding citizens that the "Castle Doctrine" or "Stand Your Ground" laws were intended to potentially shield law-abiding homeowners from being prosecuted when protecting their lives, or property. IMO

CenTexTim said...

How about honoring those black men who choose to live with their children's mother and be a father to their kids.

Studies show that children from a stable two-parent family have a greater likelihood of success in life than those raised by a single parent, regardless of race.

Anonymous said...

All over tats and tits is "hood billionaire" Rick Ross of ankle bracelet fame.

Rod said...

This incident was priceless. It does a lot to clarify this POTUS's foreign policy, military rules of engagement, priorities of the IRS, function of the Department of Justice, EPA's "Waters of the US" Initiative, holiday & religious observances, etc. down a very long list. He just thinks backward; IMO it's a form of mental illness.

Underlying problems are: so many others don't see it; tolerate it; or won't do anything when they could. It's OK to have a problem; not OK to have an insane President. Stilt: GREAT reference to Dr.Carson. Thanks for another good one.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Of course, any Black Celebrity that promotes family, responsibility, education, and treating women like people not things gets dissed for being "too white" - Right Dr Huxtable?

DougM said...

Stilton "The Carpenter" Jarlsberg nails it again!
That was masterful, sir.

mark said...

Everything this douch of a president touches turns to cr@p. do you think the next incoming nozzle will do any better ?

John the Econ said...

Nobody can make this $@%^ up. Remember when one had to do something truly exceptional to get to be invited to the White House and meet a president?

And really Progressives, is this the best you can do to inspire young black men to lead upstanding lives? This is just another fine example of the "soft bigotry of low expectations" Progressives have for Black America. Again, who are the racists?

Quite frankly, the KKK couldn't do a better job of coming up with ways of oppressing Black America than this. The President of the United States legitimizes these, um, whatever they are, and by presenting these people as the vanguard of "black culture". And it simultaneously gives the actual racists legitimate fodder to argue why black's are inferior animalistic trash and should be despised.

One would almost suspect that this is designed to further disintegrate America.

And hey black women, do you feel empowered by Nicki Minaj? (I didn't know who she was until 5 minutes ago, and am now embarrassed that she's going to show up in my search history) Do you appreciate that she is presented to young black men as the standard of what a black woman should be; fleshy playthings for feral guys to be discarded once they tire of her or she gets older? Is this all your daughters should and can aspire to?

Interestingly, I'm pretty sure that this isn't what Barack & Michelle envision for Malia & Sasha. You see, elite Progressives insulate themselves from this kind of riff-raff. The Obama's have far higher expectations for their own than they do for the rest of Black America.

Remember last year when the "Black Lives (don't really) Matter" movement identified the #1 threat to social order in America as re-runs of a 35-year-old TV show featuring a car with a Confederate flag on the top of it? It had to be purged from the airwaves because that flag on the car might have sent some white kid over the edge to start shooting up black churches. So it disappeared. But the President of the United States will promote these actual thugs and whores as the answer to America's social problems. Not a peep. Amazing.

james daily said...

First, "undocumented acts of wealth redistribution",funnest line I have read in a while, sort of like "unlicensed outside pharmaceutical salesman".
Now, I do not think the prez has said he is black (or 1/2 white) but rather he never says anything when other say that. Being a Muslim, black is not his color. Yes, he schmoozes with them but he is just using them and will forget them soon enough.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Mr Econ - had you forgotten last summer's internship for Lena Dunham on "Girls"?

Yeah, THAT Lena Dunham and her show...

Sure looks like ho'ing their daughters out IS the plan...

John the Econ said...

Ok, @Pete (Detroit), ya got me on that one. I can't admit to being particularly familiar with the work of Ms. Dunham beyond being vaguely aware that she produces cable porn while occasionally fantasizing about being raped by college Republicans. Why the Obamas would allow one of their daughters to work in that environment is totally beyond me. Most normal fathers of teenage daughters tend to keep their kids as far away as possible from this sort of thing. I can only conclude that either the Obamas themselves are clueless about the work of Ms. Dunham, or they're just strange.

Either way, I'm still willing to bet that we won't be seeing Malia & Sasha as backup flesh for Nicki Minaj, Busta Rhymes, J. Cole, Wale, or DJ Khaled. They'll more likely have a respectable future like Chelsea Clinton, as angry multi-millionaire spokesholes married to Wall Street hedge fund managers.

Anonymous said...

I guess that Obama thinks that emulating these rappers is the best kind of success that young black people are capable of achieving. So sad. Obama is stereotyping his own race.

Rod said...

And he's created most of the racists he keeps bitching about.

Seven years into this, we still have no formal minimum job qualifications and background check for the highest public office in the land.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Jim G.- Put a beat under your comment and you've just written a rap song.

@Joseph ET- I'm old enough to remember real racism in this country, which also makes me old enough to mourn the decline of black communities since social welfare programs became inextricably linked to Democrats political power. We can never stop some people (of any color) from being bigoted idiots - but the real fight needs to be freeing those who are slaves to the state. Barack Obama was uniquely placed to be able to do this - and instead, he deliberately made everything worse.

And yes, at this point I have zero "white guilt."

@drjim- Obama seems to embrace the poisonous inner city narrative that there are only three paths to "success" for blacks: sports, rap, or crime. How tragic that even he assumes that black kids lack the cognitive abilities to make decent lives for themselves in other fields: the very definition of "the soft bigotry of low expectations."

@Fred Ciampi- Remember the speech Obama gave early in his administration telling black Americans that it was time to stop using racism as an excuse for bad behavior? When he said that our nation needs black husbands and wives instead of baby mommies and baby daddies? When he said that schools serving black kids would achieve higher standards of excellence by enforcing higher standards of discipline?

Of course, you don't remember that speech. The SOB never gave it.

@Barry in Britain- I don't think so; Michelle has a "this end up" tattoo back there.

@Geoff King- You were right then and you're right now.

@Jim Irre- Let's not be too hard on Nicki Minaj. Imagine how embarrassed she must have been to find out her CD cover used a picture of her taking a dump.

@REM1875- Even Obama doesn't pretend the goal here is to ease racial tensions. His "Brother's Keeper" initiative is designed to help young men who are black or brown - no whites allowed, even if they live in the same neighborhoods.

@Timbo- Wouldn't that make her an Asstronaut?

@Boligat- If Nicki Minaj's butt had been on your keyboard, it would still be bone dry. I hope.

@American Cowboy- The individual you refer to is the aforementioned Rick Ross, whose ankle monitor sounded during the summit. In fairness, Mr. Ross has lost considerable weight since that picture was taken, plus I'm told that he actually wore clothes to the White House. Which is good- now we won't have to burn any sweat-soaked antique chairs.

@Anonymous- Why doesn't Bernie Sanders ever demand more taxes from "hood billionaires?"

@Rod- Sadly, I don't think Barry's policies represent mental illness so much as ideological illness.

@Pete (Detroit)- Ouch, there's a double-edged sword. Bill Cosby was a great role model and a fierce advocate for real ways to improve life for the black community. And then it turns out that he's apparently an even worse sexual predator than Bill Clinton. I must admit, Cosby's fall from grace will hurts me personally.

@DougM- Actually I'm called "The Carpenter" because of the heart-melting way I sing "We've Only Just Begun" on Karaoke night. Readers- do yourself a favor and click on DougM's name (in his comment) to check out his great blog!

@mark- I'd give anything to say that I think the next president will be better, but I have my doubts. That being said, I think there's an almost 100% certainty that the next president will be less anti-American.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- As I referenced earlier in these comments, I think "the soft bigotry of low expectations" is one of the most apt and important phrases of our time - although I think it may be time to remove the word "soft" and replace it with something like "insidious" or "crushing." Low expectation breeds only low accomplishments.

And your point is well taken that black women should be appalled that they're primary worth is now seen as having vast buttocks on which random men can smack out bongo rhythms on during the throes of passion. We're seeing a new "ideal" form in black women which looks like the comically stereotypical fertility dolls carved out of stone eons ago. Which, again, reinforces the notion that black men are essentially sexual primitives, still good for breeding if not field work. And I effing hate all this. I actually do believe that we're all created equal, but the cultural damage starts early and lands hard.

@James Daily- A white woman who allegedly dated Obama in college once said "he doesn't have a black bone in his body." And how could he? He was raised by whites and lived in Indonesia and Hawaii. His "blackness" was self-created for political opportunity, and his stereotypical vision of what it means to be black is as two dimensional as that of any Klan member. As far as Barry being Muslim, I doubt that he has any religion, but I know two things for sure: He's no Christian, and he loves Islam.

@Pete (Detroit)- Yes, Malia Obama interned on the show which graphically introduced analingus to viewers. Black or white, Hollywood or Rap concert, liberals seem to think that a woman's primary purpose is to be a piece of ass.

@John the Econ- My fervently held dream is that someday one of the Obama daughters will write a scathing tell-all about her parents. I know it's unlikely to happen, but it's such a pleasant fantasy...

@Anonymous- Exactly. Why doesn't Obama have an empowerment summit for women in which he brings in only teachers and secretaries? Or a summit for Latinos in which all the participants bring their lawnmowers? Does his embrace of negative black stereotypes reflect self-loathing of his black half? (Hint: yes)

@Rod- Barry has indeed done more damage to race relations in this country than any president in living memory. And the real horror is that he did it deliberately.

John the Econ said...

"Obama seems to embrace the poisonous inner city narrative that there are only three paths to "success" for blacks: sports, rap, or crime. How tragic that even he assumes that black kids lack the cognitive abilities to make decent lives for themselves in other fields: the very definition of "the soft bigotry of low expectations."

This is tragic beyond comparison. I think this (along with his "You didn't build that" narrative) goes back to his own personal experience, where he was coddled his entire unexceptional life, and only became an editor at Harvard, senator then president because of his supposed race.

"Bill Cosby was a great role model and a fierce advocate for real ways to improve life for the black community. And then it turns out that he's apparently an even worse sexual predator than Bill Clinton. I must admit, Cosby's fall from grace will hurts me personally."

Agreed, totally. Who didn't love and admire Bill Cosby? How many white people would have minded having him as a neighbor? He was living proof that the Progressive narrative about "racism" was mostly fiction, and that the biggest enemy to black America was black America itself. Bill Cosby didn't just hurt those women; he hurt an entire country who looked up to him as to what being black in America should and could be. Now he'll only serve as an excuse to justify the cultural diarrhea he fought so hard against.

Yesterday's on the Tubman $20 was brilliant.

On "the soft bigotry of low expectations": I think it's been so successful at keeping certain races down that the concept is now being applied to other grievance groups to explain away the mediocre state of their lives.

"White Guilt": I have none whatsoever. When I was in school back in the '80s, I heard a speech by some black professor who proclaimed that at one time, whites where the slaves of dominant blacks. (My knee-jerk impulse was to ask "So, how did you screw that up?", but thought better of it) So allegedly having my ancestors once being slaves along with never having the opportunity to own any myself, I have no reason to feel guilty about being white.

Anonymous said...

"Rap music" is an oxymoron.

Boligat said...

@Stilty "@Boligat- If Nicki Minaj's butt had been on your keyboard, it would still be bone dry. I hope"