Wednesday, May 18, 2016

I Did Not Have Sucks With That Vermin

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, zika virus, mosquitoes, prevention, money, clinton

First things first: this is an appalling joke and Bill "Money Shot" Clinton should be thoroughly ashamed of himself for making us think of such a horrible gag. Oops- Now we've used "gag" in a sentence involving Bill Clinton. We'd claim it was unintentional, but you might find that hard to swallow.

Sadly and truthfully, the Zika virus is terribly serious, and the heightened risk of giving birth to a child who will suffer the lifelong physical and development consequences of microcephaly is nightmarish. It is no laughing matter.

Which is why, for the umpteenth time, Hope n' Change is sorry (but not surprised) to see Washington making a complete mess out of preparations to fight this potentially deadly invasion.

Yesterday, votes were being taken to decide how much money to allocate to this crisis. Barack Obama wanted the most, of course, saying $2 billion was required to prevent the blood-sucking parasites coming across our southern border from wreaking destruction. The $2 billion would presumably be used to put the young mosquitoes in good schools, settle their families in middle class neighborhoods, and give the grown mosquitoes some walking around money until they can find permanent blood-sucking jobs in government.

The Senate, on the other hand, seemed likely to authorize only $1.1 billion to fight the mosquitoes. Which, to us, sounds like it could do the job if the government is frugal enough to go to Costco and buy a few million spray cans of "Off!"

The House is even more reluctant to approve funds unless matching cuts can be made, although cuts tend to draw mosquitoes. And occasionally sharks.

Tea Party types such as ourselves are pointing out that Obama already paid for about $800 billion worth of shovels for his imaginary "shovel ready jobs" program - we say, pass 'em out and let people start whacking each other over the noggin whenever they see a mosquito land. Especially if they land on a Progressive who still thinks DDT is a bad idea.

But for now, let's accept two facts: this is a real danger, and the government is going to screw up anything like a meaningful response. Meaning it's up to us to be aware of things like this:

  • Always use insect repellants containing DEET.
  • Eliminate all sources of standing water, such as birdbaths, flower pots and any containers that could be overturned and filled with rainwater.
  • Keep rain gutters cleaned out to prevent water from standing in drains.
  • Cut back or get rid of unnecessary vegetation around your home where mosquitoes can breed and rest.
  • Keep swimming pools covered in colder months to prevent mosquitoes from laying their eggs there, and drain any water that has collected on top of pool covers.
  • Remove water from tree holes and hollow stumps.
  • Keep windows and doors screened to prevent mosquitoes from getting inside your home.
  • Consider using yellow light bulbs in outdoor light fixtures, as they reduce the number of flying insects around your home.
  • Do not, under any circumstances, allow the mosquitoes to vote in November without presenting ID.
Imagine how much better this would work with a government shovel!


Mike aka Proof said...

Fortunately these mosquitoes aren't as big as the ones in Minnesota. Theirs are required to file flight plans.

TMay said...

But put out clean bird baths with clean water for the birds and bees because bees need water and we need bees for our food and flowers.

donpaul53 said...

What bees?

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

I was kinda expecting a Hillary/Yoko joke here... ;-)

Geoff King said...

I blame Noah for not swatting those two damn mosquitoes when he had the chance.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mike aka Proof- Those ARE big skeeters!

@TMay- Agreed. It's GOOD to have water available in your yard, but it's important to make sure you change it every couple of days to keep the mosquitoes from breeding. I have a pleasant little backyard fountain; as long as it runs, the little basin of water doesn't collect mosquito larvae. Hilariously, in moving water they drown.

@donpaul53- Sad but largely true. Happily, in an informal study of our back yard, we're seeing more bees this year.

@M. Mitchell Marmel- I considered it, but thought it would be very, very bad taste. As Yoko Ono said.

Rod said...

Would someone else please tell my wife about bullet point #4? And speaking of bullets.... No, we can't go there.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Geoff King- Talk about a missed opportunity...

George Glazener said...

Forgive my ignorance, but are there certain areas of the USA where this virus is more prevalent right now? Is it spreading or is it just in one region?

jlw said...

@George Glazener

according to the CDC, last updated May 9, 2016

"No local mosquito-borne Zika virus disease cases have been reported in US states, but there have been travel-associated cases."

"Local mosquito-borne transmission of Zika virus has been reported in the Commonwealth of Puerto Rico, the US Virgin Islands, and American Samoa."

CenTexTim said...

Based on the amount of rain we're getting here in Texas, there is no standing water. It's all flowing...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Rod- The distribution of backyard foliage is not a subject men have a vote on.

@George Glazener & jlw- Indeed, there aren't any areas of infestation in the continental U.S. yet, which is why Barry's call for $2 billion seems a little top heavy. However, we haven't yet gotten into the thick of mosquito season - and the kind of mosquitoes that transmit the virus ARE pretty widespread (they just aren't carrying the virus yet).

Having strategies to fight mosquitoes is a good idea even if Zika isn't a problem yet: here in Texas we've had cases of West Nile Fever and Dengue Fever transmitted by mosquitoes. Yikes.

Anonymous said...

I have been waiting for the terrible joke about zika making new democrats but maybe I'm the only one that twisted.
Oh that Caveman clip, can't believe I didn't connect it to this!

On a serious note, there are some researchers here that have found a combination of yeast and lemongrass oil is a great larvae killer--they love to eat the yeast and the oil kills 'em. All really safe, natural, effective, and cheap. Now they are working on finding a company to scale up the production so everybody can sprinkle it in the standing water to stop the little buggers.


Bruce Bleu said...

Well, the "neophyte in cheef" has "screwed the pooch" on this matter, just like everything else he gets involved in. He heard about how the Zika virus causes malformed skulls in babies, so in "lamont logic" he's decided to give billions to longshoremen and ship-building ports to prevent "berth defects". Yes, the "affirmative action" presidunce has proved beyond ANY doubt that nearly EVERY DAMNED THING is above his "pay grade".

jlw said...

i didn't mean to imply that zika isn't potentially a problem. indeed, i don't think i did imply it. that is why i included the second quote as well as the cdc link.

i was merely answering an intelligent question.

Bill said...


How about going back to DDT?

The banning of DDT was the result of a hoax.

DDT was an effective insect killer and did no harm to bird's eggs.

Bill Moore

John the Econ said...

Another great object lesson about "big government". Pretty much all the Federal government does anymore is dispense money and employs the bureaucracy that supposedly manages it. How much it dispenses towards any particular problem (beyond what it ads to the national debt) is almost irrelevant. $2-billion? $1.1-billion? I almost really doesn't matter. Most of it will be wasted anyway. Does anyone remember what we got for that $800-billion "stimulus"? At least in the '30s, we got massive public works projects that we still stand in awe of today. For Obama's massive public works program, I think my town got a couple of traffic circles. Nobody's lining up for tours of our traffic circles.

@Bill, economists are still trying to total up the number of lives lost due to the junk science behind "Silent Spring". In some distant parallel universe, Rachel Carson is on trial by the UN for genocide.

Anonymous said...

You didn't hear this from ME, but where mosquitoes are a real hazard and there's a lot of standing water just a little squirt of oil on standing water where it will do no harm (like in a still ditch or low spot) kills mosquito larvae. Of course NOT in a stock tank, bird-bath; or potable or utility water cistern; those have to be screened. It doesn't take much and it's soon soaked up by vegetation and composted, consumed, decomposed or evaporated. And while it lasts, in the sun the sheen is so colorful.

On the other hand everyone please stop dumping significant quantities of old motor oil down storm drains. Recycle it for free, use it on chain saw bars, burn it in big tree slash & bush pile fires, etc.

PvtCharlieSlate said...

I did Army basic in Fort Dix, NJ which is next to McGuire(sp?) AFB in the south Jersey swamps. One day while I was there a mosquito got confused and landed at McGuire. The ground crew pumped about 200 gallons of JP4 into it before they noticed it wasn't an airplane.

Anonymous said...

'Not that there's anything wrong with getting a little head'... Especially if it's on Jeffrey Epstein's 'Pleasure Island' with underage girls.... What a SCUM!

REM1875 said...

I would like to believe this zika deal is overblown, but I have been told I can't use that word in anything having der slickmeister's picture.

Ben Rumson said...

Good advice, but there is something better than DEET (Tolulene)that doesn't melt plastic or make your skin burn while wearing sunblock in hot weather.
Natrapel has Picaridin which works great.
I have worked in Sporting goods stores for nearly 30 years and have tried everything and this works best for me.
Years ago I was doing some 400 yard target practice using a plastic picnic table as a rest.I had deet on due to the bugs.
When I lifted my arms they were stuck to the table and two melted grooves were left where my arms were.
Tolulene is a solvent that we would use cleaning White water rafts before using rubber cement to glue patches on.
I don't want that on my skin.
All the best,
Ben Rumson

Anonymous said...

Just want to point out there is no scientific evidence linking Zika and Microcephaly. In fact, there seems to be more linking it to the larvacides being used to combat the mosquitoes. Can't cite anything, I don't remember where I was reading about it, it's been several days.

Reg T said...

Ben Rumson - I have fond memories of doing a mid-watch in an aircraft hanger at NAS Boca Chica (guess it's NAS Key West, now), and using the GI DEET we had access to. It melted the plastic barrel on a nice Parker fountain pen I was using (yeah, back in the dark ages - 1970).

When I lived in Brunswick, GA for a while, all the park rangers and most of the locals swore by Avon Skin-So-Soft. Tried it, and never had a mosquito or a sand fly bite me. You didn't have to use that much, either. Some on a ball cap would keep your head and neck safe, and a little on your arms or on your shirt would keep the rest safe. As I remember, it had a clean smell, not "perfumy".

Anonymous said...

This one is for the ages. Top Shelf.