Wednesday, August 3, 2016

The Internet News Game

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, solitaire

Some days, the search for positive political news - or even entertainingly negative news - can get pretty frustrating. Oh sure, a crop of nude pictures of a certain candidate's wife turned up, holding forth the possibility of really, really good photos on White House Christmas cards for the next four years. But journalistic integrity demands that we don't comment on a woman's ill-advised youthful indiscretions, just as we refuse to comment about a certain presidential daughter who was twerking and flashing her ass at Lollapalooza.

Rather, we're going to a genuinely important news story which was, unfortunately, pretty much ignored in the mainstream media because of colorfully distracting nonsense like all of the above.

Specifically, we're referring to Hillary Clinton's post-convention interview with Chris Wallace on Fox News Sunday in which she declared that, following an investigation into her use of a secret and unsafe email server, FBI Director James Comey "said my answers were truthful, and what I’ve said is consistent with what I have told the American people."

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, hillary, email server, fbi, lie, chris wallace, exploding head
At this point, what splatter does it make?
This was a lie so baldfaced and brazen that it earned a rare "4 Pinocchios" from the Washington Post, meaning a lie so big that it actually risks ripping the time-space continuum apart.

For those who may not remember or care, many of whom seem to find regular work on television and in newsrooms, what Comey actually said was that Hillary Clinton's statements about not having documents with classified markings on her email server were not true. Her claims to have never sent classified documents through unsecure channels were not true. Her claims that she only used a single electronic device for email (her excuse for setting up the private server) rather than multiple devices were not true.

In fact, Comey didn't really assert that anything Hillary said was true with the possible exception of when she stated her name for the record - and even that requires people to forget her claim to be named after Sir Edmund Hillary, despite the fact that she was born before he went mountaineering.

Granted, it's not really news when "Lyin' Crooked Hillary" tells yet another whopper. But if you think we were going to pass on the chance to do an exploding head cartoon, you don't know us very well. Although sadly, it's our heads that are exploding these days.


Popular Front said...

In my (distant) view, with the way the Left in the USA is getting ever more militant, strident & violent it is Donald Trump who needs to look out for an exploding head, his own. It is a small step from bellowing through a megaphone to peering through the crosshairs. I hope his security detail is on the ball.

REM1875 said...

Hat tip: If you are ever lost in the woods, desert, on a mountain or elsewhere pull out a deck of cards and start playing solitaire, in no time at all someone will be leaning over your shoulder telling you the red 6 can go on the black 7.
Brought to you because we care about your safety (and our tax dollars wasted on a search)

Jim G. said...

This is completely off topic, but have you noticed how many "Republicans" are now coming out-of-the-way closet and announcing they are voting for Hillary? Hmmmmm....?

We're they really Republicans or RINO'S in disguise? It really doesn't matter, as Trump has stated, the election will be rigged. Heck, the Democrats are actively recruiting and training all of the new immigrants on how to cheat the system. "Vote early and vote often!" We don't need no stinking voter registration!

Doug said...

>>"[...}integrity demands that we don't comment on a woman's ill-advised youthful indiscretions."<<<<< Nor should we comment on the past photos of Barack's mother.
Those seem to have been forgotten, but I'll wager not for long. ;-)

Fred Ciampi said...

Just a real simple rhetorical question for today onnacounta I have to go make more moonshine ... and from the way things are going, I'm going to need it. "So what if someone poised for a photographer in their youth? How in the world is that going to have an effect on the performance of her husband in the future?" "Good night Chet, Good night David".

michael_b said...

A rather loose usage of the word "born" regarding Hill, Stilt. Squeezed from the loins of Satan would be more apt.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

That red splatter where Hillary was is oddly attractive. Maybe someone can goad her into telling that one, magically big lie?

Geoff King said...

I find the nude pictures of Melania to be far more tasteful and artistic than those of Barry's mother.
I certainly hope and pray that similar photos of Hillary never surface. There is not enough whiskey in this entire town to handle that vision.

Anonymous said...

Hillary not only has lies coming out of her mouth that she swears are really the truth, she and her minions love putting lies in Trumps mouth and then having their media play it like it's the truth for their on-going smear campaign. Apparently, lies are Hillary's biggest natural talent.

Judi King said...

I feel like it's MY head that's going to explode. About 97 more days of this crap.

John the Econ said...

"...pretty much ignored in the mainstream media because of colorfully distracting nonsense...": As you allude, Hillary's Chris Wallace whopper is not nooze because Hillary lying isn't news. Hasn't been for over a quarter century now. Telling the truth? Now that would be newsworthy.

Entertainingly Negative News: Mrs. Econ and I regularly make each other giggle with what we call the "It's so clear NOW" meme. This is where some individual or group does something silly and otherwise irrelevant in the name of "bringing attention" to some disconnected issue. We look at each other and say "Finally, it's so clear to me NOW. Thank gawd they did that, opened my eyes and made me aware." Today's example: (Trigger warning, NSFW!)

100 Sheroes Just Posed Nude At The Republican National Convention

"The photography project was a peaceful protest against the hateful, anti-woman rhetoric present in the Republican Party."

Trump is bad? I never realized it until this! It's so clear to me now. Thanks naked women for your sacrifice!

What gets me is the idea that I could put an ad on Craigslist for "Naked women needed for Trump protest. Show up at dawn at remote abandoned industrial site" and at least 100 would do just that. Just proves what sheep pro-Hillary women tend to be I guess.

Not that I wish to be so judgmental, I find a certain amount of irony in that these women are saying that Trump is not "fit" to be President. I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

Also, I'm shocked that I see no transgendered women there. When will the LGTBQWERTY community launch a hate investigation and protest against Spencer Tunick for monosexuality and exclusivity?

GenEarly said...

Meanwhile the "ProgreSSives" march onward, while the Feral Gov Bureacratic Traitors are ignored while getting the Go Ahead from Obamy, Loretty, and Hilarity.
The humor is going to get grim in the USSA, comrades.

DougM said...

In the bottom twerking photo, I noticed the girl on our right has popped out of her…
Oh, wait, that's just her hand.

james daily said...

My thinking is that she is a narcissist megalomaniac and very unstable, possibly demented. No, probably demented. Her tantrums are legendary. Actually every thing this nitwit does is legendary especially her violent temper tantrums, physical attacks on staff and husband, not necessarily in that order. I simply cannot believe that a political party would put her as a presidential nominee. That just boggles the mind.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Seriously, they BOTH need to "develop" a medical condition that DQs them from the run. This is beyond absurd.

Pete (Detroit) said...

"It's not so much that they're both unabashed liars, it's that they're so BAD at it...
"Sniper fire"
"NFL sent me a note"
Did you CATCH Bill Clinton's speech? The one where he told you how wonderful she is, and how special their marriage is?
Now THAT was a liar!
You know, KNOW he's blowing smoke up your butt, but b/n the flavor and technique, you almost might not mind...
These two coarse a-holes, however...
What the effity eff eff....
Useless turd burglers, the both of 'em..

David in SoCal said...

Dr. J: With my 2 semester credits of Police Science on my resume, I can determine, (thru Bloodstain Pattern Analysis), that this is a reasonable representation of 'Cranius Explodius'. However, I see no brain matter within the pattern, and therefore can determine my theory on Hillary has come to fruition. The color of the blood is also suspect, as I would have anticipated more of a brown hue, due to the fact she is a poo-poo head.

REM1875: Point well made! I will put a deck of cards in my emergency bug-out bag that I carry in my vehicle, that way I don't need to start a signal fire here in 'Droughtifornia'.

Econ John: The pics of the 'nude women' reminds me of my first(and last) experience at a nude beach here in SoCal when I was in High School. Must have been 'Democrat Ladies Day' when I was there, not a pretty sight. Visene/Clorox combo eye wash helped somewhat.

GenEarly: I think just about every legal/responsible/trained/informed American gun owner/enthusiast is fearful and vigilant with the current state of ever increasing gun restrictions initiated by this regime. I had always thought The Obama's' stock-piling of AR's and ammo was his way of prepping for HIS shtf moment; when HE declares martial law throughout the US as a result of HIS race-bating divisiveness creating an American Apocalypse......And then declare himself Supreme Imam of the Islamic States of Oamerica.
Yes, gun running has been one of their pet projects, and not only did it kill Border Agents/innocent Mexicans; it also(many have concluded) killed 4 brave Americans in Benghazi. What's next; 100's of millions of laundered $'s in exchange for American hostages held by radical islamic muslim terrorists?.....Oh wait, that JUST happened....My bad. Carry on Hn'C Soldiers!

Colby Muenster said...

Really, Stilton? Kablooey? If that head exploded, it would sound more like air slowly escaping from a balloon. And it wouldn't be blood splattered everywhere; her head is full of scarabs like that mummy movie.

Still funny as HELL though!

Hey! The 4th Circuit Court of Liberals just struck down our evil voter ID law (North Carolina), and I'm positive it wasn't timed to make it impossible to appeal before November. Seriously, the three "judges" said the law was crafted with discriminatory intent. Not discriminatory language, discriminatory INTENT! I guess the thought police are alive and well. May President Trump fire all three of them!

John the Econ said...

Speaking of "gun control":

Next time you come across one of those annoying gun-grabber types, share this one with them. I'm pretty certain they haven't seen this story in the New York Times:

Families living in fear of home invasions and break-ins by the African Apex gang terrorising Melbourne have started fortifying their homes with BARBED WIRE

"Frightened Melbourne families who felt they had no choice but to arm themselves with baseball bats after a series of violent home invasions have now moved to protect their properties with barbed wire."

I call this "Life without the 2nd Amendment". This won't mean much to the elite fortunate enough to live in already well-fortified armed-doorman buildings in the better neighborhoods of our urban centers. But for those of us not quite affluent to have 24/7 armed escorts, this dystopian future from the land of Mad Max is not comforting.

@Colby Muenster: Always find it interesting when Progressives courts discover "intent" over concise language.