Friday, December 2, 2016

Bar Exam

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, fox news, bars, restaurants, rolling stone

In an unintentionally hilarious interview with Rolling Stone ragazine (spelling intentional), Barack Obama asserted that the reason Democrats got pulverized in the recent election is because "Fox News (is playing) in every bar and restaurant in big chunks of the country."

While demonstrably not true, Hope n' Change doesn't doubt that the insufferable dimwit-in-chief actually believes his fantasy because it protects him from taking personal responsibility for an historic electoral trouncing.

In Barry's mind, overstuffed white people would sit silent and transfixed at the local Cracker Barrel restaurant, sucking syrup out of their pancakes rather than chewing noisily, all the better to hear the Right Reverend Sean Hannity accuse Hillary Clinton of being a Martian.  Or perhaps he imagines eerily quiet Happy Hours during which patrons sat on bar stools in hypnotic trances while the gospel of hate was preached by Bret Baier, Britt Hume, and other bomb-throwing radical conservatives.

Barry did concede that the Democrat party had a problem with messaging and getting the word out to voters - but we have to disagree. We think their message came through loud and clear: that under Obama, what used to be a part-time job is now considered a career. That a stagnant economy which benefits only the rich and well-connected is the new norm. That laws are only for little people to obey.

We got the message that the Left considers ordinary Americans (also called "a basket of Deplorables") to be racists, misogynists, xenophobes, homophobes, ignoramuses, gun nuts, religious fanatics, and potential terrorists.

We got the message that a boy who believes he's a girl has more rights than all of the actual girls in a school shower. We got the message that inner city schools should never be improved, and that loans for uselessly self-indulgent college degrees need never be paid back.

We got the message that there is no gestational time limit on killing the unborn, up to and including the moment of birth. We got the message that illegal aliens have a "right" to jobs and benefits that legal citizens lack. And we got the message that as bad as things were under Obama, they were about to get a whole lot worse under Hillary.

And then we voted.

Which is why Barack Obama's actual legacy may only turn out to be a few soon-forgotten interviews in yellowing issues of Rolling Stone.


Lots of you may be putting up Christmas decorations this weekend, which is why we're giving you a FREE no-strings-attached downloadable album of relaxing instrumental Christmas music!

Not available in stores. Trust us on this one.

It's the "Manhole Steamrising Complete Christmas Collection," consisting of 15 soothing tracks of Christmas favorites, two of which are "Adeste Fidelis" and are done (as Basil Fawlty would say on gourmet night) "in two extremely different ways."

It's all perfectly legal, and you're free to share the music and/or the link with as many people as you like. In fact, we encourage you to share! Please! Tis the season! Just click this link to get your download started.

You'll end up with a ZIP file which, when double-clicked, will open up into a folder with your 15 songs in MP3 format. No spam, no viruses, no hassles whatsoever. Although if you downloaded the album when we offered it last year, you may experience some holiday deja vu while listening.

If you'd like to sample the music (or just enjoy it without downloading), we've also put the album on Youtube. Just click below to play!


TrickyRicky said...

Stilton, well done. Perhaps the most succinct summary of the election I have seen.

Geoff King said...

I don't know what chunks of the country Øbozo is referring to, but most every restaurant I have been in has no tv, and practically every bar has their's set on one sports channel or another.
Granted, it often is golf, which I find as exciting as watching paint dry. Perhaps that is the real problem. I may subconsciously detest the Golfer in Chief whenever I am forced to watch one of those annoying games.

Jim Irre said...

Oh, if only a golf game would pass as quickly as a drying paint!

Thanks for the wonderful synopsis Stilt!

Fred Ciampi said...

And, one of the best news is .... TA DAAAAAA ... Mad Dog Mattis named to be Secretary of Defense. Mad Dog's the best Marine to come along since Chesty Puller. And that means a lot to the vast number of us Marine Corps Veterans. Semper Fi.

chipmunk said...

YES!!!! Those are exactly the messages we were getting from the Democrats. It does my psyche good to know that it wasn't just me that wanted to throw things and stomp around whenever a "progressive" started pontificating about what a rotten person I am for working hard, trying to be reasonable, and paying for their ridiculous programs. Of course, we are still getting those messages, but they have a little less bite to them now.

REM1875 said...

Thanks Doc --- Good music.

chef621 said...

Great one Stilt...and as my late son used to say, "another well done job done well."
Thanks for the music, don't know how I missed it last year. I am glad that you did it again.

On the health care issue, I kept the same HMO that I had last year. This year "however", because I live one mile inside the neighboring county, I have to use hospitals in that county. I have had the same doctors for the past 30 years and they only use hospitals in the county where their offices are. That means I have to change doctors or try to get an exception or make sure that I don't have to go to the hospital. I am too old to have to mess with this stuff! (79) A fourth option would be to kick the bucket. That sounds like a better option the longer I think about it. Trouble is, I am not in that bad of health. Oh well, Que Sera, Sera

rickn8or said...

Obama hasn't passed through an airport as a typical citizen lately has he?

All the captive audience gets there is CNN or MSNBC; either one of which makes even mildl conservatives more determined than ever to vote the "R" side of the ticket.

Bruce Bleu said...

Stilt, while I do enjoy a good calm song on occasion, I think I might be more inclined toward the "Tranny Siberian Orchestra's Christmas". Let me know when that becomes available please.

james daily said...

Stilt, your synopsis was exceptional, accurate and on point. Finally I have having a bit of fun watching the implosion and finger pointing with all the DNC nitwits. I haven't read or heard of one democrat taking responsibility for any of their wacky, expensive and really stupid programs. I have no idea what the democrats planned to do with all the illegals after they voted. They wanted them for that one yob, now what? Maybe enough of them will be unemployed to see the light. Then, the recount fiasco. Who in the heil would throw money away on something so asinine?

John the Econ said...

So if I understand this correctly, he believes that even though 97% of the mainstream media operates as the de-facto PR arm of the Democratic party, the Democrats only lost because they don't control the last 3%. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that the Democrats are finally losing the largest single demographic in the country, the "middle class" that they've actually been at war with for the last generation. Personally, I encourage this delusion, as the longer the left remains in denial of it, the longer they will be exiled to the wilderness. And the longer the middle class will be allowed to exist.

But Obama's self-unawareness is even greater than all that. In what publication does he choose to go on his tirade about "fake news"?

"We were talking about the issue of a divided country. Good journalism continues to this day. There's great work done in Rolling Stone."

That's right, a magazine that just lost a lawsuit for publishing actual fake news; a expose about a made-up rape.

So Fox news is why Hillary lost, whereas the totally lost credibility of the rest of the mainstream media had absolutely nothing to do with it. Priceless.

Speaking of Progressive media spin: If you want a great example of why we can't take the MSM serious with absolutely anything, I present yesterday's Washington Post "Wellness" column:

Castro’s Cuba: A public health phenomenon in the ’90s showed the effects of national weight loss

You see, after the fall of Soviet communism and Russia decided that it could no longer afford it's favorite welfare case, Cubans started to starve. Literally. After the Soviets stopped shipping food, average Cubans had their daily calorie intake (which was never that high to begin with) drop by almost a third.

But thanks to the Progressives at the Washington Post, we see that there is an upside to starvation; less obesity and diabetes.

Perhaps if Hillary had run on the health benefits of living in poverty, she would have pick up those middle class votes that shunned her.

Colby Muenster said...

Excellent summary, Doctor J! I shall be sharing this post at every opportunity.

The libs are so far gone from reality, it's almost pitiable (almost). "Oh my GOD! It couldn't be MY fault I lost the election!" screams the Shrill One and her "friend" O'Liar (who secretly hates her guts). It's Comey's fault, it's Fox News' fault, it's Bernie's fault, it's Trump cheating, it's a bad vote count, it's the wrong phase of the effing moon.... Good grief, libtards. When you get beat at a sport, it's usually because the other player is better than you. If you lose a beauty contest, it's because someone else was more beautiful (or maybe because you're just butt ugly). You got rejected; get over it already. Now you know precisely how working people felt after the last two elections.

Not that I spend a lot of time in bars, but Mrs. Muenster and I eat at restaurants frequently that have TV's. I have NEVER seen one playing Fox News... Never. And Rickn8or is correct. Anywhere that actually DOES have news on, like airports and hospital waiting rooms is always showing friggin CNN or some iteration of NBC. O'Liar has proven for the umpteenth time how out of touch with reality he is.

I sort of favor TSO or Twisted Christmas (try "Hey You, Get off of my House" or "Holidaze"), but the Manhole Steamrising is a nice collection. Thanks!

Doc said...


Proof that lefty liberals ALL have but two FUNCTIONAL neurons, held together by a spirochete (causes syphilis) and somebody slipped them ALL heavy doses of PENICILLIN!
Doc Harris RVN 1/1 '69-'70

p.s. Where's Lefty Lucy been hiding?!?
p.p.s. I'd DO her...LOL

OpenTheDoor said...

There is but one bar in the small town I live in. It has 3 screens, 1 for Nascar, 1 for B ball, 1 for football. Sometimes they are all on the same game, sometimes not, depends who and what the patrons, want.
The only time I have ever seen a news program on was a short time ago, hurricane parties are all the rage, thanks Matt for missin' us. We don't miss you, still got limbs to clean up.
I love to argue politics, it's hard when everybody votes your way, funny, the women and blacks were most vocal about supporting Trump. Who knew?

Mike aka Proof said...

Any wonder that Obama would be interviewed for an issue of Rolling Stoned??
BTW, Great 'toon, Mr. Jarlsberg! It will be linked in tomorrow AM's Best of the Web*.

Popular Front said...

'Manhole Steamrising' - that would be a great name for a Thrash band but in this day and age I suppose they'd be boycotted by the gender equality mob for being sexist. I expect they'd want the band to be renamed 'The Non-Gender-SpecificHole Steamrising' and thereby spoil it for everyone, as usual.

Bruce Bleu said...

If lamont was presidunce when I was in school, I would have been tempted to enter the girls locker room. When they observed me walking around with a "stiffy" like a piece of Tungsten-carbide barstock, I could inform them that I was a lesbian girl stuck in a boys body!

Popular Front said...

Indeed Bruce Bleu and it would be instantly recognized as fact, followed by a nationwide federally-funded lecture tour and guest spots on Oprah and Ellen DeGenerate
to show today's kids how they don't have to locked into gender specific lives.

Boligat said...

@Bruce & Popular:

I've said it before, but no one has cleared this up for me yet.

A girl standing 5'11" weighing 67 lbs. stands naked in front of a mirror and says, "I'm way too fat" and everyone freaks out and gets her to a doctor for treatment for anorexia. If anyone dares to disagree with the girl, they are castigated as being non-supportive and bad people in general and what-is-the-matter-with-you?

A boy stands naked in front of a mirror, looks at his junk and says, "I'm a girl" and everyone falls all over themselves with support and congratulations for being "brave". And, yes, @Popular, the invitations pour in from Oprah and Ellen. If anyone dares to disagree with the boy, they are castigated as being homophobic, misogynistic, non-supportive and bad people in general and what-is-the-matter-with-you?

What is wrong with this picture?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@TrickyRicky- The Left is still so desperately trying to figure out what kind of hate and/or insanity afflicted Trump voters that they're missing the obvious: we simply declared "Enough!" I'll admit that Trump did very little to win my vote, but the Left made it a rock solid certainty that I'd vote for him. And they still don't get it.

@Geoff King- The idea that undecided voters are staring robotically at televisions in bars and restaurants and having their worldviews shaped by Fox News is beyond ludicrous. Indeed, in my experience most bars and restaurants that have televisions playing don't even have the sound turned on because it would annoy patrons. And I definitely agree with you about the extreme boredom of watching golf on TV.

@Jim Irre- Maybe they should combine the two: slap a bunch of paint on a wall at the start of a round of golf, and whoever's ahead when it dries is declared the winner.

@Fred Ciampi- Mattis is great news, and I was particularly delighted by Trump announcing him as "Mad Dog." I could hear the moist explosions of liberals' heads all over the country!

@chipmunk- We're in complete agreement. Good people got tired of being vilified as miscreant monsters by the Left. And you're right that their snooty attitude and attacks will continue, but Trump has definitely changed the game in terms of telling them where to stick their false accusations.

@REM1875- Glad you enjoy the music! As I said, the giveaway is entirely legal - this isn't just a CD I ripped. Rather, it's music that I legally licensed for any use, including giving it away or claiming myself as the creator (which I didn't do, but allowed me to add the playful "Manhole Steamrising" name). As Christmas approaches, this is the kind of background music I like to have going pretty much all the time.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@chef621- My condolences on the loss of your son, and my additional sympathy about the idiocy of not being able to cross county lines for your healthcare. I frankly think a lot of Obamacare policies are designed to make that "just kick the bucket" option look better to those of us who are past our prime years of taxation. We've already put money into the they want us gone before we take too much out.

@rickn8or- I'm pretty sure that Obama pulled the "bars and restaurants" remark entirely out of his rear end. It's simply not rooted in anything like reality - although that's hardly new for this jackass.

@Bruce Bleu- You know, I actually have some weird-sounding Christmas music that would be legal for me to give away. Maybe that "Tranny Siberian Orchestra" album is a good idea...

@James Daily- Democrats never take responsibility for the chaos their programs create. As long as they were "well intended" and give liberals good feelings about themselves, that's all that matters. And I completely agree that the real goal behind flooding our nation with illegals is to cause disruption and (literally) tax our support systems.

@John the Econ- The irony of Obama decrying "fake news" to Rolling Stone is simultaneously astounding and unsurprising. Is there anything on the Left these days that isn't fake? If so, I'm not seeing it.

And wow, thanks for sharing the story about the health benefits of starving! I must admit, that's a pretty impressive display of spinning a story. Reminds me of when Nancy Pelosi praised unemployment as being "enabling" for people to become poets and artists.

@Colby Muenster- The Libs will never understand why they lost. Prior to the election, I remember some talking head saying that the Hillary and Trump supporters were living in alternate realities and there's a lot of truth to that. Moreover, for the Libs to genuinely understand what happened, they'd first have to realize and admit that they've been hurting America and Americans. And as Obama ripely shows, that's never going to happen.

Speaking of Christmas music, I highly recommend the albums by The Fab Four, a tribute group that does traditional Christmas carols in astoundingly spot on Beatles style. Here's a sample from Youtube - the song "Hark!"

@Dr. Roger Harris- Lefty Lucy will return. She's been on a healing "Spirit Walk" with Lena Dunham, hoping that the ghosts of the ancients and the spirits of the trees and stones can restore her belief in the balance of the universe and the moral superiority of the deeply vacuous.

@OpenTheDoor- Wait, Nascar was on TV?! Everyone knows that's a bastion of racist, Right wing hatred! No wonder you were deceived into not voting for Hillary!

And while Trump didn't get a commanding number of black votes, he got more than others have. I'm hoping that he really comes through on changing our dead end (and frequently deadly) inner cities in ways that the Libs never could or would. One of the greatest accomplishments Trump could have is freeing black Americans from the Democrat plantation.

@Mike aka Proof- Thanks for the share, as always!

@Popular Front- Political Correctness sucks the fun out of everything. Come to think of it, it sucks period.

@Bruce Bleu- Funny, but absolutely consistent with Liberal logic.

@Popular Front- The scenario you describe is plausible enough to be scary.

@Boligat- I've always liked the anorexia comparison. I've seen reputable doctors (yes, they still exist) say that most cases of transgender identification amounts to mental illness, pure and simple. Like anorexics, we should treat these people with compassion but actually help them rather than encourage their delusions.

rickn8or said...

"Wait, Nascar was on TV?!"

Well, sorta. The last time I watched it, they occasionally interrupted the commercials for the announcers to plug the series sponsors to a background of engine and crowd noise.

Boligat said...

@Stilty, It would seem to me that we could go a long way toward fixing the transgender "problem" by educating parents as to what is actually going on. I read about a couple, I think in Colorado, that decided that their little boy was telling them that he thought he was a little girl because he preferred the pink blankie over the blue blankie. That was when the kid was still an infant. So, they treated him like a little girl. Then he got to school and all h*ll broke loose 'cause the school wanted to treat him like a boy. The parents are just loons, but they still breed.

Bruce Bleu said...

Thinking of the double entendre in naming this post, I am reminded that some people thought Turd Kennedy was a lawyer. I have it on good authority from people in Massachusetts that, unless he wasn't driving, he never "passed" a bar in his LIFE!

Popular Front said...

Love the countdown timer on the landing page Stilt. Heading towards Hope & Change we can believe in!