Thursday, May 12, 2011
Osama bin Laden's son Omar bin Laden is now threatening to sue the United States for the "criminal" killing of his father, as well as the humiliation his family has suffered from the alleged burial at sea.
"My children will be unable to eat fishsticks, wondering if they are their grandfather's fingers," the berieved bin Laden wept, before adding angrily "And trips to SeaWorld?! RUINED!"
Okay, he didn't say those things...but we think the things he is saying are just as stupid. For one thing, while he's complaining about his father's funeral, he's also complaining that the U.S. has offered no proof that Osama is actually dead. Although reports of shark puke on the surface of the North Arabian Sea are considered compelling evidence in many quarters.
Meanwhile, Barack Obama continues to keep a tight grip on to his "death photo" of Osama... but is showing it off to a select few in Washington in much the same way a schoolboy might show his friends the porn magazine he keeps hidden under his mattress.
And adding a final surreal note to these post-Osama days, U.S. intelligence agencies would very much like access to Osama bin Laden's 3 wives who lived with him in Pakistan...but, if given that access, they're unsure how to make them talk.
Hope n' Change would like to humbly suggest that the wives simply be made co-hostesses on "The View." After a week, we'll be begging them to shut up again.