Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Gator Aid

Barack "Words That Heal" Obama traveled to the Mexican border yesterday to give a fiery fundraising speech about immigration reform in which he claimed that Republicans won't be satisfied until a moat is built and filled with alligators.

Which is a pretty odd insult coming from a guy who just spent the last week bragging about personally feeding an old man to the fishes.

Mr. Obama claims that the Republicans should be ready to engage in "comprehensive immigration reform" (meaning amnesty and piƱatas filled with voter registration cards) now that he's made our southern border 100% airtight.

Except for, oh yeah, the 85% of the border which the General Accounting Office says isn't airtight.

In yesterday's diatribe, Barack Obama also asserted that the border fence between the United States and Mexico is "basically complete." And astonishingly enough, he was telling the truth. Not because the fence has been finished...nooOOoooo. But rather, work on the fence has been "completed" because his administration defunded its construction after only a small amount of it had been built.

In his speech, the president spent so much time lambasting evil Republicans that he forgot to mention any actual legislation or action he intends to take to speed the "path to citizenship" for those who have broken our immigration laws and continue to cost taxpayers hundreds of billions of dollars.

Which means that while he's accusing Republicans of pandering to alligators... the Panderer-in-Chief continues to offer soundbites which are a croc.


And on an unrelated note...

Tomorrow is the last day you can order your limited edition "Hope n' Change" wristwatch at the crazy low price of $5.99 with free shipping (see the link in the left sidebar). Not only is this handsome watch guaranteed to give you the correct time at least twice a day, it will also guarantee honked-off liberals wherever you proudly display it. And consider the gifting possibilities: conservatives will think it's hilarious and liberals will get all pissy and petulant...and that's always worth $5.99!


Bobo said...

His speech was the first and only speech he's given that I have listened to...and I only did so because I fully expected him to pull out a pen and sign an Executive Order giving all the illegals already in the USA amnesty and a vacant foreclosed house to live in...and, oh yes, a "yob." (Spanglish for job)

Meanwhile, here in Arizona we have a state Representative who wants to draft a law to allow Arizona to build its own fence along the border using prisoners for labor and fencing materials donated by large corporations, or even purchased with donations sent to AZ for that purpose. He also thinks the project could reach IRS 501c3 charitable status so contributions could be written off income taxes. Maybe if we used Mexican prisoners they would escape back into Mexico - never to return.

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

America isn't dying fast enough for Turdboy. Let's crush it under the weight of a few million more illegals who will, he hopes, vote for their new black messiah. He's going to need them. The "white guilt" vote is evaporating fast and he needs to replace them with carne fresca.

John the Econ said...

Dear believers in big government: Please explain to me why any sentient being should accept the notion that a government unable to do something as seemingly simple as erecting some sort of barrier (legal or physical) to protect its boarders can be expected to take on more complex tasks, such as managing the personal affairs of the 300-some-odd-million citizens already here.

Bobo: Interesting idea that I am sure will go nowhere. To our imperial government in DC, the "illegal alien", oh, sorry, "undocumented visitor" problem is a complete abstract to them beyond the supply of cheap domestic help. I've always argued that if instead of a safe 1600 miles, Washington DC was located somewhere in southern Arizona or California where the drug gangs are now engaged in open battle on American soil, our immigration & border policy would be much different.

Jim Hlavac said...

@John Econ -- I have long maintained that the Congress should be in a windowless warehouse in Wichita, with the elected busybodies housed in a plain apartment complex, eating together in Cafeterias while in session, and no lobbying firms allowed in the city while the Congress meets only every other year. And their salary cut to the median salary in the US, with no benefits after leaving office. Then we'll see whom wants to serve their country, or whom wants to serve themselves. And I would say no more running as Dems or Repubs, either. But I'm a radical, I'm told.

One nice thing about Mexico, though, that we should apply to Obama: No reelection. Yah, no Mexican politician gets to get reelected. One term, and you is gone. What say, Barrack? Good?

And while Obama has now pissed of so many gay folks that we've got a campaign to deny him our funds and our votes, we'd really be pissed if the illegals got to be legal and thus had legal American marriages way before he "evolved" on the issue for us -- and we have to pay more taxes to support their kids!

On the other hand, sometimes I think all the gay Americans, and others from around the world, should move to the states of Chihuahua, Sinaloa, Sonora, and the two Bajas, become a majority, and vote us a new nation, a Gay Republic, and be done with it. (We'll give the US Tijuana and Juarez, but the 32nd Parallel would make a nice border. But again, I'm a radical, I'm told.

Or maybe just as delusional as the president; I don't know anymore. Meanwhile, we're about to flood 3 million acres of Louisiana, the gators and the water for the moat will be found there.

Jim Hlavac said...

Oh yah, conveniently, there's an existing 36" pipe from Louisiana to California, built for the oil that was never drilled there to flow to our refineries here. It can be used for water and gators to go west. I'm not totally impractical. :)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Bobo- Arizona is correct in assuming that the only way they'll get border security is to do it themselves. Interestingly, their "Keep Arizona Safe"website just opened to take donations for the fence, and has already received over $1.5 million dollars.

@Angry Hoosier Dad- Mmmm. Carne fresca!

@Jim Hlavac- It is interesting that Obama has more interest in demanding rights for non-citizens than Gay citizens. And I like the idea of piping gators to California!

Bobo said...

@ Stilton - Some of that money may be from the donations received for AZ to fight legal challenges to our SB1070 law signed last year. The fund was as high as 3+ million dollars and I heard half of that was already spent on court costs, fees and attorneys. I believe our governor is now attempting to bypass the Appeal Courts and get it before the U.S. Supreme Court as soon as possible.

WMD said...

Moats and alligators? Not a bad idea really. Whatever works I say. But I have always been in touch with my caveman side.
It does make me wonder how Mexico fields an olympic team every four years. Anyone that can run, jump or swim is already here.

By the way, Jim H., how the hell do you pronounce your last name?

And Stilt, I just bought the watch. For 6 bucks I thought "what the hell". It's the least I can do, and you can always count on me to do the least I can do.

Chuck said...

Just as Obama is not interested in addressing the serious issues facing our nation in any kind of serious ways, he also doesn’t care about immigrants, legal or otherwise. He is only interested in pitting one group against another, and it doesn’t matter what constitutes the divide. Could be race, wealth, religion, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, employment status, or whatever else. It’s what community organizers do. It’s all they do. That and assign committees to study problems as a stalling tactic until they can figure out how to play both sides of the problem against each other.

If he really cared about this country, he’d quit!

Suzy said...

I don't remember the last time we had a President that would get up and consistently mock the other "side". Or maybe my memory is just going bad.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Bobo- Thanks for the correction on the donations!

@Robert- Is that your line about the Mexican olympics? That's classic! Regarding the purchase of the potentially beautiful $6 Hope n' Change watch, I hope you enjoy it! I'm not making any money out of this, so it's not a fundraiser of any kind. I just thought it was fun - and frankly love the idea that it might annoy liberals. Seriously, anyone who expects to need an under-$10 "secret Santa" gift this Christmas, Hannukah, or Kwanzaa can't go wrong here.

Plus, if I ever personally see someone wearing this watch, I will shake your hand and buy you a beer. Let's see Timex match that offer!

@Chuck- Nice summary. You're entirely right - the Obama administration isn't about solving anything for anyone. They want to stoke anger, envy, hatred and, if possible, violence.

@Suzy- I think the mocking has been going on for a long time, but it used to be a little more good-natured. Now it is uglier because it's more sincere...and utilized to help attain darker goals.

Anonymous said...

Chuck and Stilton re Chuck: right on the money, yet I daily see the majority of "knowledgeable" people in chat games trashing the conservatives and lauding The Incredible Stinking Man. I don't know any way to get across to them that they need to take an in-depth look at what's coming and, perhaps, wake up to the dooming of their current freedoms and way of life.
I've finally ordered my watch. I figure if we don't make it to the next election (which looks more and more possible as the "dark forces'" plans for the focus on Israel shift to Sept}, I will at least have the historical equivalent of the "The doofi elected a Sleeper agent-of-change who altered the World for the Much Worse and all I got was this Tee-shirt" to keep and enjoy, lol! Thanks Stilton :)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous- I haven't wanted to tell anyone, but the Hope n' Change wristwatch will be the key method to spot other members of the Resistance. Plus, when in the right hands, the watch will confer incredible superpowers in much the same manner as Green Lantern's ring or Thor's hammer. Better still, the watches are forged from Mithril (which is surprisingly inexpensive in China). I, of course, will wear the all-powerful One Watch To Bind Them All... because mine cost seven dollars.

moronpolitics said...

Get a clue, clueless ones. Fox ran some stats after showing this clip the other night. Since it was those "number" things nobody looked at them. I'm doing this from memory but it's very close.... In 2004 Hispanics went went 58 percent for the Democrats. In 2008, they went 57 percent for Dems (Obama's pres election). In 2010, the went Dem 55 percent. Now this Hispanics who VOTE, not illegals who chant and march. See a trend?? Steady, slow, but less and less Democratic. If the GOP went out and pushed issues and NOT the ones the Dems do... Damn, think the guy across the street from me who out earns me, both him and his wife work, blah blah .... the only thing he has to do with illegals is if he hires some for his lawn care company and -- guess what? He won't. Unreliable.
Blacks and Hispanics MUST get pissed at the coconut trotting out the same old crap thinking that all blacks are ignorant crackheads in the inner city and hispanics are all bean pickers. Even in Detroit, right Barrack? just poke a little harder and they gonna go boom.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Moronpolitics- You're right that Obama is starting to alienate some of his base constituencies based on the fact that in the TWO YEARS he had a supermajority, he didn't do squat for them. Not the Blacks, not the Hispanics, not the Gays, and not the anti-war Left.

In some cases, this presents a real opportunity for those on the Right to attract voters by offering sincere (but not pandering) benefits to some of these groups. And I'm not talking giveaways here; rather, I'd like to win these voting blocs by having our candidate clearly delineate how conservative policies will genuinely help, as opposed to the liberal promised which are designed to do nothing but lock in votes (while ratcheting up hatred).

John the Econ said...

Jim: They've long since done the calculus, and they've determined that there are more illegal aliens prepared to vote Democratic than gay folk willing to give up the Democrats for the GOP. Sooner or later, the GOP will figure that out.

WMD said...

Stilt, The Mexican Olympic team line is from waaaay back when the Olymipics were in LA in '84. It is not my line but I can't remember who did say it. I would credit them if I could.
However, the "it's the least I can do" line is mine.

Pete(Detroit) said...

Stilt - you mean, of course, "One watch to WIND them all" no?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Pete(Detroit)- Funny! But be careful...puns can be hobbit-forming!

Colby said...

What has happened to Stilton? Anybody know? Maybe there is something goofy with my computer, but this post from Wednesday is the latest one showing.

I am very worried.....

Mike Perkine said...

Yeah, Thursdays was there then pulled, the one with the sharks. Probably got threatened by Arabs.

Chuck said...

Agreed. Saw this early this morning, and at that time, the comments were not working either. I suspect hosting problems? Stilton, you out there? Hope all is okay.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Colby, Mike, & Chuck- The story isn't really dramatic, except for the parts where I was screaming in agony. The entire Blogger/Blogspot system went down (not just for me, for EVERYONE) and hosts couldn't get online to post pictures, words, comments, or anything else.

Then to "fix" the problem, Blogger had to delete the entries and comments for a couple of days (they hope to restore them at some point, but who knows).

Anyway, it's now just a bit after noon (Texas) on Friday, and I've FINALLY been able to post again, which is a good thing as I was about 5 minutes away from having an aneurysm.

I'll be posting a fresh cartoon on Saturday instead of a re-tread to help get us all caught up.

By the way, I'm not super good about posting to my Twitter account (not enough hours in the day), but if you choose to follow my tweets I at least was able to sound the alarm over there.

And seriously - thanks for caring!

Reaganite Independent said...

Good schtuff, linked @ Reaganite Republican

/X-posted to Maggie's Notebook
Enjoy your weekend,