The event was marred only by an awkward moment when Monica Lewinsky usurped the first lady's job (again) and unexpectedly blew out the Bill-shaped birthday candles before being dragged from the premises with frosting stains on her blue dress.
And speaking of eye-catching clothing accessories, here at Hope n' Change we think we've come up with a real winner for this election season...
If we had any initiative and business savvy at all, we'd currently be selling this design at every polling place in America. Stickers, pins, t-shirts - maybe even some interesting body piercings!
But the reason we lack the initiative to make buckets of money is because we (like millions of other Americans) just found out what our Obamacare is going to cost next year - and the more we earn, the more it costs. So why bother working?
|Obamacare: "Bleeding From Behind"|
That's bad - really bad. But not the worst of it.
Because Mrs. Jarlsberg will be starting Medicare next week and won't even be on the Obamacare policy anymore - which is why Healthcare.gov is reducing our joint subsidy by 75%. The final result is that 2017's out-of-pocket payment for a one person policy will be three times what we were paying this year for two people.
As an additional reason to start drinking early today, the "same old, more expensive" policy still doesn't include any of our doctors, so we'll have to continue to slink into back alleys with cash in hand for check ups, colonoscopies, prostate exams, and any other procedures which can be performed with coat hangers.
But this being Friday, we'd like to end this on an upbeat note: if Hillary wins the election, we'll soon look back on even this period of unaffordable, unworkable health insurance as "the good old days." Enjoy it while you can!
DOWNLOADABLE BONUS: Print Your Own "I Vomited" Pin! Just click on the image to see the high-rez version, then save the image for printing!