Friday, July 2, 2010

Too Hot To Handle

Police in Portland, Oregon have reopened a 2006 case in which a licensed masseuse claims she was sexually attacked by a giggling, yelling, groping, and leaking Al Gore.

And yes, we just threw up a little.

After initially reporting the incident, the victim refused to pursue the case for several years because her friends felt that Al Gore's mission to "save the world" outweighed the woman's personal pain and suffering.

But now the case has been reopened owing to "new evidence" - which is said to be an unlaundered pair of black slacks that may have (ahem)
"DNA streaks" from Mr. Gore.

If so, then
Mr. Global Warming may ironically, and appropriately, end up doing time in the cooler.

Actual security footage of Al Gore and the alleged incident


Anonymous said...

Poor Al Gore. He's gone from Liberal superhero to being thrown under the bus.

Anonymous said...

To quote Nelson (from the Simpsons), "Ha HA!" Couldn't have happened to a more deserving guy.

DNA on his pants? Really, Al? Didn't you learn ANYTHING from what happened to Bill and Monica?

There is nothing poor about Al Gore - but I'm sure he will be poor when Tipper's lawyers get through with him.

Anonymous said... unusual place to leave one's carbon footprint.

alan markus said...

Gee, after being part of the Clinton presidency & then the 2000 election debacle, you would have thought Gore would have quietly faded away. Or better yet, flushed down the memory hole. Speaking of which, Gore is kind of like the "floater" that keeps circling the drain but never gets flushed away.

A few more floaters I can think of are Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid - they seem to be circling the drain too, but manage to avoid going down the drain.

As to Obama, I think he is a "sinker" that will get flushed away come 2012.

Front Woodsman said...

Problem for big ole dumb Al is that he didn't learn from the crashes of other evangelicals that too much religious fervor makes you really horny. Look at Jimmy Swaggert, and the rest of them, compare their level of screaming nuttiness about their religion to Al's screaming nuttiness about HIS Enviroevangelism, and what else would you expect? Another one who speaks directly to his own particular GOD (in this case the carbon credits Ponzi scheme god)has once more gotten an answer of sorts. For Al the answer is "You should have kept your pants on you big fat dummy!" Seriously, it really speaks to the quality of people who get elected to high offices in this country that so many of them are so pathetic they not only have to pay for sexual favors but they are even so bad at THAT they can't get any, anyway, and wind up humiliated publicly for being such fumbling fools about it. How dumb do you have to be, as an ex VP and multi millionaire, that you can't get set up with a high-end (no pun intended)escort service that will maintain some confidentiality? Every city in this country, and probably in the world, has such services that are being used by the wealthy and well informed on a daily basis. How can it be that Algore with all his bucks, and we assume personal aides and etc., can't get sex without going it alone as a crazed sex poodle with a masseuse he likely found in the yellow pages of his hotel phonebook? Need to apply the Nixon rule here, either guilty, or just too stupid to be allowed to hold office; pick one. BTW, think the Nobel guys will want their trophy back now? Any truth to the rumor he used the Prize money to hire hookers in Amsterdam?