Friday, January 7, 2011

Speaker of the Whitehouse

Robert Gibbs, the highest-ranking member of the Obama administration who can speak without a teleprompter, has announced that he's resigning his position in self-disgust and will be entering a monastery where he will take a permanent vow of silence.

No, wait - that last part was what we
wish. Actually, Gibbs is quitting...but only so he can take advantage of lucrative speaking engagements and become a semi-permanent fixture on alleged news programs where he can more effectively (and less accountably) shill for Barack Obama's 2012 re-election efforts.

Besides speaking engagements, Gibbs will be a "paid political consultant" to Obama. This means that the talented orator can finally break free of his miserable, "barely scraping by" salary of $172,000 a year, and start enjoying the sort of
multi-million dollar "evil rich" paychecks that, according to Gibbs when he was behind the podium, can only be gotten by stealing from widows, orphans, and minorities.

There is no official word yet on who will replace Gibbs as spokesman, but
Hope n' Change has it on good authority from Whitehouse insiders that the position is going to be filled by someone with whom Obama has a long and close relationship stretching back to the Chicago days. Someone who not only shares the president's philosophies, but has experience with public speaking and is unafraid of confrontation: the Reverend Jeremiah Wright.

Remember, you read it here first.

"It's like Obamacare! It sucks, but you'll love it!"


Pete(Detroit) said...

How, I mean seriously HOW does this useless tool expect ANYONE to pay the slightest bit of attention to him? He's a bigger windbag than the Liar In Chief!
Still and all, good riddance to bad rubbish.

On a side note - is it 'normal' to have the entire administration bail on you mid term? I may have just not been aware, but I simply don't recall this level of 'outta here' before - seems like EVERY one wants to distance themselves.

Pete(Detroit) said...

Shamwow is NOTHING like O-care - it actually DOES what it's advertised to do!

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

He'd be the perfect pitchman for that product. Since day one of this regime, I've been saying "Wow, what a sham!". No doubt his fellow Obama-fellators will pretend that he has their same "impeccable" credibility.

txGreg said...

Pete - he'll get plenty of opportunities to speak at liberal Universities where they continue to try to "educate" our future generations into voluntary subjugation.

Bobo said...

Maybe the new spokesperson could be that homeless, out-of-work, addict, former radio announcer most recently on all the news shows, Ted Williams. After all, he is looking for a job and; Oblahma could show everyone how his Hope and Change program is really, truly, actually working (for one person, anyway).

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Bobo- After I'd already "gone to press" (so to speak) with today's cartoon, it struck me that it would be fun to photoshop the homeless Ted Williams behind the Whitehouse speaker's podium. But maybe Obama should really do it; after all, if he thinks Michael Vick deserves a second chance, why not Ted Williams?

Philip said...

BREAKING: CBO Says Repealing ObamaCare Would Reduce Net Spending by $540 Billion

Pelosi: Democrats Lost House Because of ... Bush!

Democratic Party ID Drops in 2010, Tying 22-Year Low

Forget the liberal hype about a comeback: 2010 was a stunningly bad year for Barack Obama, and 2011 could be even worse

moronpolitics said...

This is going right next to my photo of that guy with half his cranial dome missing. Wait! how will I tell them apart?

WAIT !!! There's more!