Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Death Panelist

In this troubled world of unbalanced budgets, out of control nuclear reactors, and worldwide bloodshed, it's always nice to know that we can count on MSNBC's Chris Matthews to give us a laugh...or at least give us a good reason to reach for our scotch.

Specifically, in giving "analysis" of Paul Ryan's plan to save Medicare, Matthews announced that it "will kill half the people who watch my show." And while we're tempted to say "that's a good start," we won't...because those would be words that hurt rather than heal.

Instead, we'll simply point out that however Medicare is funded, we doubt it will have enough money to pay for all the medications that Mr. Matthews is apparently forgetting to take.

For instance, even though Ryan's plan specifically states that no one aged 55 or over will have any change in their Medicare coverage, Matthews claims that half of today's seniors will meet the grim reaper when the program cuts their benefits. He then follows up by saying that younger people will also get screwed, receiving only "a Borders book $10 gift certificate that's going to pay for your million dollar healthcare costs."

Frankly, we don't think Chris Matthews could possibly be stupid enough to actually believe any of this. Which means he's personally despicable enough to be blatantly lying about all of this.

And the only way we're ever going to have an honest dialogue on saving Medicare is when pundits like Matthews are replaced by people who can tell the difference between "Holocausts" and "Healthcare Costs."

This is why MSNBC should always have tranquilizer darts handy.


Louis la Vache said...

When he was fresh from working in Tip O'Neill's office and a columnist for the then Hearst-owned San Francisco Examiner, Matthews leaned left, but hadn't gone over to the lunatic fringe. But as time went by, readers could observe his descent into the lunacy that comprises so much of the modern Democrat party. Quel dommage.

JustaJeepGuy said...

I'm reading "Ayn Rand And The World She Made", by Anne C. Heller. In the preface, Heller says, "Her defense of radical individualism and of selfishness as a capitalist virtue has won her scores of contemporary public champions, including...even Chris Matthews..." How can that be possible--that tingle-legged Matthews the Obama suckup could ever have said anything good about someone who had to have scared the pants off the true Anti-Galt himself, Barack Hussein?? I'm doubting Ms. Heller...

Chris said...

Kill half his audience? That's what, like six people?

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

How about stupid and lying? Of course the only time I ever see Chrissy Legtingles is when he's being highlighted as the butt of a joke by non-Obamabots.
BTW, Stilton, sorry I haven't commented in a while. Glad to say I'm finally back to work and have precious little time for fun and frivolity at the computer. Still, I'll try to keep up with the rest of the class.

Jeff H said...

Look, if Ryan's cuts killed EVERYBODY who watches Matthews, it would be, what, a dozen or so?

Jim Hlavac said...

Actually, whether Medicare is changed or not exactly 100% of the seniors will die -- eventually. Can he then blame that on the Ryan plan, too? And why doesn't Matthews tell us exactly when they will die -- is it within a week? A month? A year? 5? 10? Inquiring minds want to know. He claims he did the math, right?

On the other hand, it will be good business for the funeral industry -- which will no longer handle just the 3,000,000 who die every year and bump it up to what? 15,000,000 people? (30 million seniors, maybe, right?) Though, if it takes just three years to kill off them off, maybe an additional 5 million a year.

And that's jobs created indeed. For which I'm sure Matthews will give credit to Obama.

WMD said...

Right on Jim.
And did you catch in the video how chrissy had to remind everybody that they are the "smart" ones?
I don't know all the details of the Ryan plan but I'm guessing it's probably exactly what is needed or something close to it. At least based on the neo-comms reaction to it.
Pure hysteria!
I'm guessing the bulk of chrissy's audience are invalids who are unable to change the channel.
How is this guy on television? I'd rather watch monkeys in the zoo fling poo at each other. Oh, wait, I guess it's about the same.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Angry Hoosier Dad- Work is a good thing (and increasingly rare). Congratulations!

@Jim Hlavac- Not only will more deaths mean more jobs for the funeral industry...they'll be shovel ready jobs!

Chuck said...

Matthews has an audience? Really? I suspect that the people who watch his show only do so to mine the material for mocking him? It’s like whack-a-mole – you know one’s going to pop up; you just have to watch and wait … but not for long.

Personally, I don’t watch his show; I watch what others have mined. Bless them for their sacrifice!

Pete(Detroit) said...

If I had cable, I'd have to shoot my TV
How the hell can people watch this, when there's perfectly good porn?
Or food channel? QVS?

Bobo said...

@ Stilton - Funeral industry - shovel ready jobs... ROFLOL!! Unfortunately, its a dying industry.

Colby said...

Stilton! I just noticed the background in your cartoon. "Oddball" with Chris Matthews... Another knee-slapper from the great Dr. Jarlsberg!!

Is Matthews dumber than a bag of hammers, or does he think WE are? The answer is yes, but I hate it that there are millions (OK, maybe hundreds) of people out there that listen to him and believe him.

As I type this, Body Odor is giving his "Let's make America great by raising taxes" speech. I am praying his teleprompter dies in the middle.

JustaJeepGuy said...

Please tell us you cringed a little when you typed that last line.

Earl said...

To me, the choice between Paul Ryan's plan and Obama's is stark. It's private sector (think competition, free market, decisions made by millions of individuals) versus public sector (think big government, central planning, monopoly). Capitalism isn't perfect, but it beats all the alternatives. We have decades of evidence that freedom and choice provide for the greater good than the naive goal of equal outcomes. That equal outcomes goal is set to ruin our health care system as it already has our inner city public schools.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Earl- Well put. Boiling the choices down still more, we can either go with the ONLY system which actually produces wealth, progress, and security in our country (the private sector)...or the system which created the mind-bogglingly horrible debt which is about to destroy our country (the public sector).

I'd say more, but listening to Obama's speech made me throw up in my mouth a little, and I need to go gargle.

pryorguy said...

I havent seen or heard what was said yet...I let someone on Fox distill it down a bit, or I will barf too!

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Pete(Detroit) said...

Pyro - Broke as hell, blah blah, Bush's fault, blah blah, raise taxes, blah blah.
Why on god's green EARTH do libbies have such a fascination w/ spending other people's money?
Oh, yeah - it's FUN to spend other people's money.