Monday, July 9, 2012

One Down...

Obamacare's Death Panel made its first official housecall last week, when the president gave a hug to the 70-year old owner of the "Ann's Place" family restaurant... and several hours later, she died of an apparent heart attack from the excitement.

And we're saying "apparent" because there's still no final ruling from Chief Justice John Roberts on whether they're called attacks or heart penalties. But either way, the poor soul has gone the way of the doornail thanks to the same chilling embrace that Barack Obama has given our economy and freedoms.

And frankly, it's surprising that more of Obama's supporters don't go toes up from the sheer excitement of being in His divine presence. So frequently do the faithful pass out that Obama actually jokes that "people faint all the time at my events." Then again, maybe the jobless ones are just passing out because they haven't been able to afford a meal in nearly four years.

Upon hearing of his supporter's untimely death, Barack Obama is reported to have high-fived everyone on his bus, blown on his fingertips, and laughed "I've still got it!"

Just kidding - nobody really reported that. Which certainly doesn't mean that it didn't happen.

Instead, an ennui-wracked Jay Carney said that the president "passed on (no pun intended) his feelings that the whole family is in his thoughts and prayers today." Which is a good thing, since the "Ann's Place" restaurant, like many small businesses, may have to be sold in order to pay Obama's death tax and make sure that this insatiable government will continue to have enough revenue to send the president on frequent luxury vacations.

But on an absolutely serious note, what killed this poor woman wasn't Obama himself... it was her belief in his myth. Her belief in his promises. Her belief in his many lies.

And those lies are surely killing our country as surely as they killed Ann - just not quite as quickly.

But four more years should be enough to finish the job.

According to Eric Holder, burial shrouds are now an acceptable form of voter ID.


Chalupa said...

It was probably a bad sign when Judas Obama ordered the 30 silver dollar pancakes....

Velcro said...

"attacks or heart penalties"... [Groan!]

But you're absolutely right about believing in his myth... I think there's still black people wondering where all that money is that Obama was going to give out...

RandyS said...

Maybe she's like Johnny Smith from the Dead Zone. After she had that prolonged contact with Obama she saw what the future was going to be with him in a second term. Her body reacted to the horror by shutting down completely and committing suicide thereby sparing her the misery she would otherwise suffer.

It's not too late for us, though, as we have a stronger instinct for survival and don't need a special psychic gift to foresee the kind of future we'll have with him in office for a second term. We won't shuffle off this mortal coil without at least a game attempt to stop it from happening. Now if only we could get him to use a child as a human shield...oh, wait..he's already done that countless times. Children, doctors, the elderly, the military...That's why the Dead Zone is a work of fiction as that presidential candidate was stopped for doing that. And that was just using one child. If only Stillson had Obama's adoring media to cover him...

John the Econ said...

How fortunate for her that she passed before having to face a "death panel", and for her family that she passed this year instead of next. At least they now get to keep the restaurant.

@Velcro, just yesterday on my local news I saw a woman who fell for a financial scam because she honestly believed that Obama was going to pay her utility bills. (She also encouraged all her friends to scam as well) It's disturbing that there are enough of these gullible people to decide an election.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Chalupa- Good point!

@Velcro- I genuinely wasn't kidding that I think the poor woman got overexcited because she thought she had met some wonderful, mythic figure. And there are so many who think the same way (though sadly, not all of them have bad hearts).

@RandyS- I like the "Dead Zone" notion. And you're right that Obama has used children as human shields, but that the press adores him for it.

@John the Econ- I should point out that the possibility of selling the restaurant was speculative on my part, but based on the reality that MANY small family-owned businesses have to sell out to meet estate taxes. And you're right that it's unlikely this family will have to sell because the "death tax" doesn't go up again until the end of the year (although Obama wants it to go still higher than it's already scheduled to go).

Regarding the woman who thought Obamamoney would pay her utility bills, it's sad but not surprising. I daresay that the last election was determined entirely by the gullible.

Red said...

True enough. She'll be voting posthumously I'm sure. That or coming back to haunt him ;-)

Stan da Man said...

LOVE the tombstone!

Colby said...

I'll be sending a list to The White House of people I'd love to see BO give a big ol' bear hug.

And, people faint at his events? I can understand that. I damn near faint every time I see him, too, but maybe for different reasons.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Red- Have you ever noticed that people who are deceased get a (D) after their name...just like Democrats? Coincidence? I think not!

@Stan da Man- In my youth, I dreamed of writing Burma Shave signs.

@Colby- I agree; I'd like to see this become a real trend in Obama's inner circle. Mind you, I'm not wishing anyone death because that would be wrong. But surely it's okay to wish them more joy and happiness than their hearts can stand, right?

And I'll admit that there's a certain sense of irony in my writing about the very real physical risks of having strong emotions about Obama. Many's the time that Barry Hussein Soetoro has already brought me to the brink of rage-induced aneurysm... and the tension is only ratcheting up each day. And owing to the stress of nearly 4 years of Obama, I now look less like a dashing young man holding a wheel of cheese (per my avatar) - and more like the scraggly-ass wild man who would open each Monty Python episode with the word "It's...!"

Colby said...

(D) - deceased or Democrat? Same thought processes, same ability to completely ignore reality... damn near identical! Thank God though, that the deceased have stopped dreaming up new ways to take my money and give it to a deadbeat or a union "worker."


Are you saying that you now resemble Bill the Cat? I know I do!

Pete (Detroit) said...

Then there's the story of the young lady, came up to an off duty cop at a party (whom she presumably knew) and gave him a big ol' hug (and apparently one hell of a shimmy) and his holstered weapon discharged, killing her. Total WTF moment. Maybe 'hug of death' is a new plague? (gotta admit, it's no creepier than the cannibalism stories from late May...)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Colby- ACK!! Pbthhh!

@Pete(Detroit)- I heard that nasty story; figured it must have been a shoulder holster. But now we finally have the sad answer to "is that a gun or are you just glad to see me?" It's a gun.

PRY said...

Well, my heart goes out to that poor misguided woman's family, but...on a slightly different subject..I find myself not really watching all the latest news about the election this my mind, how it is now is probably be how it is on Nov. 5, and the one thing I would like to experience between now and then is to be IMPRESSED with Romney, I mean, come on, man, use the ammo your opponent has given you! Hit below the belt, you can be sure he will, he does it everyday with his lies! Show some passion for the office and this country which is starting to pick up speed down the sh*t slide! Make people believe you would GIVE YOUR LIFE to bring this country back after an evil wacko and his ilk have ravaged her! I want a reason to vote for you BESIDES THE FACT THAT YOU ARE NOT OBAMA! PLEASE!

Sparky said...

@Pete (Detroit) - The gun hugger story is interesting. Being a Southerner I always carry. Think O'blamo would hug me? ;)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@PRY- Although you might not know it from today's commentary, I feel awful for the poor woman who died. She was in her 70's and still running her own business. She was clearly passionate about wanting good things to happen for America - she was simply too naive when it came to believing who would help make those good things happen. She deserved a far better president, and the death of this good woman is another insult that Obama should someday answer for. Election day, for instance.

And let me say that I definitely agree that I don't want Mitt Romney to continue to be a milquetoast. I want him to DESTROY Obama in ads and rhetoric. The truth is there to do the job, but Romney's got to have the balls to do it. I realize that he may be withholding fire until he's officially coronated, but I think it's a mistake: Obama is already attacking him. Romney needs to fight back NOW...which, I think, would only cause people (like me) to send him more money.

@Sparky- I'm going to go waaaaaay out on a limb and guess that Obama's first instinct wouldn't be to hug you.

John the Econ said...

Meanwhile, "Recovery Summer ]I[" continues. (You really have to ask why they keep making these awful sequels, each worse than the last) Obama's chief economist Alan Krueger said "it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report."

No, of course not. I wouldn't want to either, especially considering that the latest statistics show more people dropping out altogether, and another graduating class of college kids moving back into their parent's basements.

Of course, Obama blames this on a Congress unwilling to double-down on another hit of "stimulus", the crack cocaine of the political class.

Also, it appears that Obama isn't getting any boost from lower gas prices, which were previously predicted to hit over $5/gallon by now only a few months ago. Perhaps it's because people have finally connected the dots that lower gas prices are the result of lower demand caused by a stagnant economy.

The upside is that Obama is starting to appear mortally wounded. I believe that the stock market is starting to predict that "Taxageddon" isn't going to happen, either because Obama will be forced to fold on taxes, or because there will be no Obama (and ObamaCare) come February.

Chuck said...

The idiot-in-chief has said that “we can’t afford spending money on tax cuts for the rich”. (oh, and it's the evil 2% now)

Did you get that? Apparently, all income belongs to the government, and whatever paltry sum they let you keep out of what you make is “government spending”.

I find myself screaming at the stupid reporters for giving this administration a pass on whatever they say and do. What the heck is wrong with them? Do they think they will be exempted? Do they think that they won’t be the persecuted of the future? Every despotic regime follows the same basic path: use the media to achieve control of the populace, and then eliminate anything in media that thinks it is (or was) free.

How far can we be from this?

I pledge submission to the flag
of the socialist states of Amerika
and to the oligarchy for which it stands,
one nation, under government,
infinitely divisible, with slavery
and injustice for all.

Time for some “coffee” … Lots and lots of coffee.

REM1875 said...

i think she was so excited by how much they ordered that upon finding out several hours latter that once again he expected someone else to pay the bill and left her holding the bag that it was to much. The epiphany of the truth about 'oObama cash' can be very devastating.

Sad fact of the matter is that we have been handing rummy 155 artillery rounds and they don't fit into his air soft gun- his weapon of choice. I don't expect the zero camp to take any real fire from him and the mainstream media shield will soften even what might accidentally get lobed his way.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if her family will forego the headstone and just send the cash to Obama.

Colby said...


Careful! Excessive coffee consumption can cause memory loss.

And don't forget, drinking a lot of coffee can cause memory loss.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- "Recovery Summer." The words burn like a branding iron. We've now got more people added to the disability rolls than the job rolls each month, and Obama calls these abysmal numbers "a step in the right direction."

I don't know how "Taxageddon" will shake out. Obama is already using it as class warfare - again accusing the GOP of taking the American people "hostage." The man is an obscenity.

@Chuck- I've been screaming about that "spending money on tax cuts" line of BS forever. Why is letting people keep some of their own money "spending" in the government's eyes, but handing it out in seemingly endless unemployment payments is "investing?" The Obama administration abuses our language like it was a starving child kept shackled in a sex dungeon.

@REM1875- Romney better start dragging out the heavy artillery soon.

@Anonymous- Good thinking! Now that Obama is trying to take everyone's wedding gifts and birthday presents, he might as well get their funeral money.

@Colby- On a related note, I think that coffee can also do that.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Stilt @John -
If they're on disability, would it be more like limping in the right direction?

John the Econ said...

Really wanna burn @Stilton? It's not "Recovery Summer". It's "Recovery Summer 3"! How long are they going to keep making these?