Friday, July 6, 2012

Put It All On Black

Barack Obama is on the road again, climbing aboard the Canadian-built pitch-black "Darth Bus" to take a tour of Ohio and Pennsylvania for the critical purpose of being unavailable to reporters when Friday's jobs report is released.

And because he's got no encouraging news for those states other than "I didn't raise your taxes! I raised your penalties!," the president is showcasing a shiny new slogan to replace all of the ones which have failed to get traction previously. And that slogan is: "Betting on America."

Which means...uh...wait...what the hell does that mean?

Does that mean it's time for us to bet on America instead of looking to the president for any help or guidance? Or does it mean that Obama admits that he's been gambling with our money and futures all along?

We're inclined to go with that second interpretation, because Barry A) doesn't think America can solve any problems on its own, and B) he's clearly a problem gambler. After all, he only uses borrowed money...he doubles down after every loss...and the sonofagun is now so cash-strapped that he's selling $3 lottery tickets to eat with him, mingle with his Evil Rich friends, or ride in the Big Black Bus with him.

Well, not right next to him, of course. The Bamster will be up front with his traveling basketball entourage, and the lottery winner will be getting the seat way, way in the back that Rosa Parks once refused to take.

But returning to the "Betting on America" slogan, there's an almost-refreshing candor about Barry admitting that Americans were simply gambling on a game of chance when they elected him the first time...and that he'd like them to do it again.

But now, all but the willfully blind know that Barack Obama was never a legitimate gamble at all; his candidacy was more like a rigged carnival game which looked easy and fun to play...but was only designed to separate the suckers from their money.

And we're betting that Americans are finally sick of it.

"Betting on America?" We prefer Battling FOR America.
REMINDER: Today is the last day to download your free ebook of "Obama Sutra!"


Anonymous said...

This ticket would sell because many people would love to rub out Obama.

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

Betting on America(ns being too stupid to realize they've been had)

FlyBoy said...

"Betting on America"-is that like betting on Solyndra? Or GM? Or Obamacare? What the hell, as long as it's somebody else's money (or future), gambling is fun, right?

Dirty little secret: Barry doesn't actually travel around on the Darth Bus: he flies Air Force One to where it's waiting for him and then goes into town to "connect with the little people" (also known as the Great Unwashed).

TrickyRicky said...

It's scratch and sniff, and it smells really, really bad.

Colby said...

Great post again, Stilton! And great job comparing BO to Lotto. Our chances of winning are roughly the same, although slightly better with the Lotto.

AND... I still can't believe that a guy with this kind of power and money can't find one lousy ad man to come up with a decent slogan that will last for more than a week.

And I still think Mitt's slogan should be a simple, "Vote for an American this time!"

Reiuxcat said...

Got my book on the 4th, thanks Stilton.

CenTexTim said...

Anon - LOL!

Stilt - great graphic. Loved the "Sorry - Try Again" line.

Whatever happened to "Forward?" Did he throw that slogan under the bus?

But seriously, folks, think about what the word "betting" implies. It's a gamble where you risk something of value (in this case our country) on an uncertain outcome (obama's ability to perform - although, come to think of it, that's not so uncertain. We know he can't get the job done). I don't know about you, but I prefer not to gamble with my well-being, my future, and my prosperity.

Romney might want to consider countering with "Investing in America," a much more positive message.

Betting v. Investing also draws a pretty good distinction between the two candidates.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous- I've got to admit that after Photoshopping that ticket, I wanted one for that very reason.

@Angry Hoosier Dad- Regarding the slogan, notice the subtle shift that Obama is now saying that HE is betting on other words, if the epic FAIL continues, it's our fault - not his.

@FlyBoy- Let's don't forget betting on the Muslim Brotherhood, because that's worked out so well, too!

And as you point out, the huge, expensive, ominous black bus is actually flown from place to place to serve as a prop for Barry to step out of. This guy can't even got off a bus without it being a lie.

@TrickyRicky- Funny!

@Colby- Lotto gives you a better chance because you're at least playing for yourself. Under Obama, we pay for the lottery tickets but only the politically selected are allowed to win.

And as a onetime ad/slogan writer myself, I have some sympathy for Obama's writers. After all, they can't say anything substantive or meaningful. So their job is to try to say nothing while making it sound like something. So far they've failed.

@Reiuxcat- Glad you picked up "Obama Sutra" and I hope you enjoy it!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@CenTexTim- I think "Forward" got too much immediate comedic heat for them to stick with. So Obama's team probably thought "Ha! THIS slogan has America in it! Let's see them attack THAT!"

So of course, I am, you are, and many other will - because they've associated the future of this great nation with betting. With gambling. With our fates decided by a roll of the dice rather than our actions, our morality, our sense of responsibility, and our constitution.

But this isn't inconsistent with the Left's unending claim that people who have worked their way into financial security have merely "won life's lottery." If everyone is equal in every way, then differences in outcome must be due only to chance.

Regarding "Investing in America," I like the concept but think it has too much of a monetary, white-collar feel to it for the masses to be drawn to.

A playful thought I've had for Romney is a one-word slogan "Obamacure."

What do you think?

locomotivebreath1901 said...

I suggested "Squandering Your Grandchildrens' Posterity (unless I fund their abortion first)" to Obama's campaign, but I've not heard back, yet.

Chuck said...

The word "Investing" has been hijacked by the left (along with a plethora of other once-useful words) and it no longer means what you think it means. Now, it is synonymous with "Spending" and that is NOT a banner Romney should carry.

Unknown said...

How 'bout the 'Great Green Fleet', DOD contractors for their bunker fuel won the lotto - in one case (the Obama transition team head is on the BOD of the company - surprise?)is charging what equates to $484/gallon for algae fuel and the standard contract for bio-diesel is $24/gallon. Bunker fuel is currently running about $3/gallon. Heck, I could underbid them by going to my local Stop and Rob and fill a tank truck for $3.49/gallon and resell it for $20/gallon and be in high cotton.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@locomotivebreath1901- I like your slogan, but Obama is probably too cheap to pay for that much ink. Maybe he could just say "More of the Same."

@Chuck- You're right; "investing" now has two meanings to the left - GIVING tax money to some dumbass cause, or profiting unfairly from the labors of the proletariat.

@SeaDog- Like I said in the commentary, this game is won by neither chance nor's rigged from top to bottom.

CenTexTim said...

"Obamacure" isn't bad. Maybe do the logo with a circle and slash through the "a" in Obamacare and put the "u" right above it...


Playing Roulette and betting on Obama will always net you a win - he's both black AND red!

Colby said...

Duh Won did pretty well with his slogan stolen from Bob the Builder, so he needs to dumb it down again for the average liberal voter. How 'bout, "Ax fo BO."

Everybody sing!
I'm a racist
You're a racist
He's a racist
She's a racist
Vote for Romney, you're a racist, too!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@CenTexTim- That's an interesting approach. I feel like there's something there, but it hasn't quite jelled yet for me (my creative process is a bit eccentric - to the surprise of absolutely no one here!)

@Dale R Patterson- You're right! Actually, Obama may be the long-prophesied answer to the riddle "what's black & white AND red all over?"

@Colby- Or rather than "four more years," how about "FOMOBO"? (I'm kidding, but now I've got a terrible feeling that FOMOBO will actually get used, and be set to the music of the Beach Boys' song "Kokomo.")

REM1875 said...

Wow it would really be nice if he did start putting a few bucks down on America for a change, he has bet the house on every one else but the US and our allies. I just can't wait till we get our 'winnings' for betting on Arab spring and hezbulla.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@readers- the post just before this one was deleted (by me) for being just a wee bit over the line. No harm done, but I'll remind you that even in jest, we can't kid about the president being involved in any activities likely to cause him harm. Except for, you know, an honest election.

Dave David Schmoyer on Facebook said...

I got the Obama Sutra on the 4th and spent an hour laughing my ass off. Thank you very much Stilton for that.

Now as for the constantly changing campaign message that the Obummer camp is putting out....could it be that they don't know what to say because they all know it is a lie anyway and the ad men don't want to destroy any chance at a continued career once this pretender is voted out of office?

Unknown said...

Just saw that the DoE has backed a French green energy firm with a loan. Another firm whose financial stability was questionable before the loan.

Unknown said...

Obama is touting Romney and Bain Capital as a vampire costing jobs - does anyone know why Saturn is not being used as an example of how Obama cost jobs? The GM bailout caused GM to shut down the Saturn line despite protests from the Saturn owners, a fiercely loyal group - oh, I know, Saturn was a non-union shop. How about all those GM dealerships that were arbitrarily closed? All this and according to Turbo Timmy, a $35 Billion bath to the taxpayers

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Dave David Schmoyer- Glad you enjoyed the book. It's FUNNY, right?! And despite being a sex manual, it's less graphic than Anthony Weiner's twitter account!

Regarding Obama's ever-changing slogans, I'd like to think that his "sloganeers" will be permanently out of work after the election - though I doubt it will be the case.

I'd like to see him go back to one of his early favorites: "Who Likes Pie?"

@SeaDog- When I think of investing America's tax dollars wisely, I'm not immediately drawn to a FRENCH company with funky technology that is already bleeding money.

And per your other points, Obama is the ultimate destroyer of jobs. By many accounts, the economy would have recovered more by now if NOT for the stimulus funds which disrupted the natural system of recovery.

And while Obama is making a big (and pointless) noise about China having put a surcharge on American automobiles, he tends not to mention WHY they did it - because the Chinese felt that those automobiles and parts had prices which were artificially low owing to being subsidized by the government. WHICH THEY WERE. If you added that missing $35 billion into the overhead, suddenly GM cars and parts would cost a lot more.

Of course, as it IS we're all paying for those cars through our taxes...even though we get neither cars nor profits for our "investment."

Reaganite Independent said...

Love it man, linked here

Reaganite's Sunday Funnies

John the Econ said...

If only Obama economic policy worked like a lottery; At least with a lottery, I would not be forced to participate.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Reaganite Republican- Thanks for sharing!

@John the Econ- Not only are you forced to participate, but all the Obama lottery tickets you buy are given to others.

Cat said...

It would be better if his face was the part you scratch off...

Jim Hlavac said...

If there's one thing Obama may have done good is that he's destroyed the illusion that the president can solve, improve or help anything at all, while reinforcing the idea that the president can foul things up. That might just be the legacy he leaves -- a very unintended legacy, but still, there it is.