Friday, December 7, 2012

You Built That

Sorry for the "do it yourself" nature of today's non-cartoon, but some personal circumstances just didn't allow me to take the time to do a real one today - in part because the news is so depressingly "more of the same" and I didn't have hours to look for something really compelling or (ha!) hopeful.

The fiscal cliff negotiations are going nowhere, unemployment is up (Wow! Knock me over with a feather!), the Middle East is getting ready to throw a chemical weapons party,  and Obama is "consulting on tax rates" with MSNBC hosts Al Sharpton and Rachel Maddow in the Whitehouse.  No wonder my mental radio is constantly tuned to the Tourette's Top 40 lately.

So consider this a "Hope n' Change IOU" for humor to come.  It's a lot like the IOUs the government is funding your Social Security and Medicare accounts with, except that mine will actually get paid in the future.

BONUS: Okay, here's a cartoon for today. Better late than never...and IOU paid!


REM1875 said...

Sadly it looks like we will be renaming Carlsbad national monument in NM the boehner memorial.

WMD said...

I think I could speak for all of us Stilt, you don't owe us anything. In fact, quite the opposite. You do what you gotta do. We can take care of ourselves. Love ya.

Earl said...

Awwww. You got a smile from me just seeing the provocative smile on the guy in the second panel. Fun to think of what was going through his head. Since we stay fairly clean on this site, I'll ask the president one simple question, "Where were you and what were you doing while American citizens were being murdered in Benghazi?" And I'd like the same question asked of Hillary, WH advisors, etc.

Gang of One said...

An INTERACTIVE cartoon it is! Sweet ...

Grafton Cheddar said...

I could come up with a few creative combo-names for Dear Leader, but I still am hearing that whirring sound outside my home. Who are the Brain Police? But seriously, as repugnant as it would be, effing cave on the tax hikes and get it over with! Let that Bat-Eared One have what he wants so he can (perhaps) once and for all OWN the consequences of his actions all for himself. It's not like the amount of $$ is going to make any difference beyond 8 days, except for an undetermined downward blip on the economy (which is destined for swirling down the toilet eventually, anyway. I did see one VERY scary piece yesterday that Cliff would result in 29M people having to pay Alternative Minimum Tax, assuming I understood it correctly. That would be utter devastation!

Colby said...

Pretty dang nice for a "non-post." Keep 'em coming. You plant small seeds when you don't have big ones laying around. We're just grateful for this spot of sanity in a world gone mad.

I spotted a technical issue in the second cartoon, though. No way Boehner will fit into a tutu. Better make that a three-three.

I agree with Grafton Cheddar. We are absolutely NOT going to win this battle, so I say let Crap Weasel have his effing tax hike. He's going to get it one way or another anyway, so let's start making the socialist bastard own it. In two years, when the economy is still in shambles, we just might take the Senate, then his wee little party will be over.

Harvey said...

Why imagine it? You can hear actual audio clips of Obama swearing (excerpted from his reading of his own autobiography)

Irene Peduto said...

@ Stilton - loved your "non-cartoon" concept of interactive personal recall. The fiscal cliff & everything else concerns me but I listen to Christmas music or Malt Shop music or even today's music just to keep my mind busily engaged in more personally beneficial "info" these days.
@Colby - Taking back the Senate in two years would be a wonderful event - then again, when the economy does turn around O's last 2 years, would that then open the door for Hillary to come through next? These people are really in it for the long game, I'm afraid. Then again my imagination is impossible to control after O's 1 & 2 elections.

John the Econ said...

Say goodbye to your savings. It was nice to have while it lasted.

Our tax-cheat Treasury Secretary has been making the rounds arguing that Congress should just do away with the debt ceiling so that the Federal government can simply borrow and spend with utter abandon with absolutely no constraint whatsoever. Meanwhile, the Federal Reserve has reconfirmed its commitment to "Quantitative Easing" (which is just FedSpeak for "printing money") so that the Federal government doesn't have to borrow it all from China.

After a few more years of printing at least another half-trillion dollars a year and borrowing trillions more, inflation is going to rob your savings and retirement accounts of the bulk of their value. Once that damage has been done, we won't have to worry about the government seizing our retirement accounts by fiat anymore since they will have already robbed them of their value. Monopoly money will be worth more. At least you can burn that to heat your house.

Irene Peduto said...

@ John the Econ - ugh! At this stage of life, there are fewer ways to stave off the impending fiscal disaster. Scares me so much.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@REM1875- At the point Boehner started throwing fiscal conservatives off of committees, I knew we were hosed yet again. He's about to kill the Republican party.

@WMD- Thank you. These are crazy and complicated days, but the friendships here are happily reliable.

@Earl- Barack Hussein Obama should not be able to step outside the Whitehouse anywhere in the world without having that question shouted to him. For the next four years and beyond, if necessary, until the (thinking of dirty words description) finally gives us a truthful answer.

@Gang of One- It's definitely a groundbreaking concept.

@Grafton Cheddar- 29 million people finally paying their "fair share?" How could that possibly be a bad thing? In all seriousness, I fully expect Boehner to cave on everything, the consequences to be grim, but the Dems to get no blame at all. Seriously, Barry just had the hosts of MSNBC come to the Whitehouse to "consult" with him on Tax Rates; he owns the MSM and they will report whatever he wants them to. And the chowderhead masses will believe it.

@Colby- Sadly, my belief is that the worse things get with this economy, the more people will demand government action (rather than blaming government action). If you look at the MSM's coverage of the obvious failure of Barry's stimulus packages, he doesn't have to "own it," rather they parrot his line that these economic kickstarts didn't work because they weren't big enough. And so shall it be after Barry raises taxes and continues crippling businesses. No matter how bad it gets, the story will remain "but think how bad it would have been if King Barry hadn't raised taxes!"

@Harvey- That's WAY too good a link not to be clickable. So here's the clickable version.

@Irene Peduto- Speaking of Christmas Music CDs, one of my favorite's features harp, hammer dulcimer, and guitar by Jem Moore. If you go to this link, you'll reach his web store (caution: it moves REALLY SLOWLY) and find the album "Christmas Eve." You can buy the MP3 tracks for whatever you want to pay or get them free. These tracks get a real workout in the Jarlsberg household this time of year - great background instrumental music with crystalline notes that glimmer like sunshine on fresh snowflakes.

But returning, regretfully, to the world of politics, I don't even want to think about 2014 or 2016 right now. This last election proved that future election results will have nothing to do with what is happening in the country, nor the failures of those currently in office. I fear the future belongs to the politicians who will tell the stupidest Americans what they want to hear, rather than those policians who tell responsible Americans what they need to hear whether it's pleasant or not.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- Geithner continues to move higher and higher on my list of lying crapweasels who are human cancers. The man is such an idiot that he thinks America's (ahem) "great" credit rating can only be threatened by the fiscal responsbility of trying to stick to our debt ceiling- so the debt ceiling should be thrown out. It's like a man who thinks the best way to avoid a hangover is to never sober up.

The Geithner/Obama plan will, as you say, destroy the value of our currency and savings. And they don't give a good flying damn about it because Geithner thinks it will at last happen after he's out of office (and that pointy-eared ferret probably has gold stored in Argentina), and Obama actively wants the collapse you're describing.

American Cowboy said...

@Earl...I would like to ask the same question(s). But then again I am a hating, racist, WASP. (Their terms, not really mine).

@ Grafton Cheddar...He and his minions will NEVER own the consequences of their actions. If they get their way, and i am sure they will, when everything tanks it will still be conservatives fault for not, "sticking to their guns, and what they believed in."

Now I think I will go ask my friendly banker for $5,000 to pay of my $500 credit card. I will be $4,500 in the black that way. And of course if the bank wants me to pay back the $5,000 I'll just borrow $15,000. Then I'll be even better off as I build wealth through borrowing. It seems to be perfectly logical to the nitwits in D.C. to operate that way so it should work for me, shouldn't it?

Jim Hlavac said...

Dirty words, eh? Ah, I'm so happy I got three or four languages' worth of dirty words floating around in my mind. But, as my Prague relatives are wont to do -- just call the guy a "Russian" and be done with it.

And Stilt, taking a day off is allowed, you know, so far. Why, I've been known to run off to Mexico for months at a time to avoid it all! :)

CenTexTim said...

Stilt - Other people get days off. Why shouldn't you?

In appreciation of your efforts, here's a few one-liners to help fill the void. You'll have to supply your own dirty words, though.

Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Barack Obama

Q. Why did Obama step on the cockroach?
A. He hates competition.

Q. Why won’t Obama laugh at himself?
A. Because it would be racist.

Q: Why are Adam & Eve Obama-era Americans?
A: Because they have no clothes, no shelter, only an apple to eat, and are being told this is paradise.

Grafton Cheddar said...

@Stilt, considering MSNBC, which I find unwatchable except at those times when I need the artificial raising of my blood pressure, I have tried on occasion to take a step back and ask myself, "Can you imagine a situation where you could actually find yourself in agreement with any of this shit? After all, in your youth you fancied yourself a Maoist (while Mommy and Daddy were supporting you in college, way back when), although as soon as you had to earn your own living... well, that changed RATHER quickly." And I can't. Even their alleged "debates", faux fair and balanced, always seem to have some douchbag pseudo-conservative who essentially just carries Reverend Al's water.

So I consider Fox - and, apart from Hannity perhaps, it seems largely middle of the road, or maybe just center right. Jesus God, what has happened to the Fourth Estate??!! Okay, yes they have always been liberal for the most part. I remember them going after Nixon and the ridicule of Ford. But what about LBJ? I don't recall him being coddled so much by the press over Vietnam, but then again my awareness was somewhat fogged at the time...

Colby said...

@American Cowboy,
I loved your idea so much, I just called my bank and asked for a $4,800 loan. They asked me what it was for, so I explained. My mortgage payments are $1,000 per month. I only have $600 per month to pay on it, so I need to borrow the other $400. $4,800 will only get me through another year, so I'll be back next December to do it again. I hope you don't mind if I never actually pay it back; my grandkids can do that.

Colby said...

Q: Why do Sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
A: So they won't be mistaken for Janet Napolitano.

CenTexTim said...

Colby -

Q: Why did Romney lose?
A: Because he said "When I'm elected, I will put Americans back to work," and 51% of the voters said, "F**k That!!"

Pete D said...

Guys, I'm LOVING the jokes... Thx for the LOLZ!

Colby said...

OK... just one more, then I promise to go do my real job.

Barack Obama, The Pope and a Boy Scout were passengers on a private airplane. Suddenly, the pilot came running out from the cockpit and shouted, “The plane is going down!” He grabbed a parachute and jumped out while screaming, “There are only two parachutes left! Good luck!”

Then, Obama said, “I’m the most intelligent black leader in the world. I’m taking a parachute.” He grabbed it and jumped out.

The Pope told the Boy Scout, “Son, I’ve lived a long successful life and would be honoured to finally meet God. You take the last parachute.”

The Boy Scout said, “Don’t worry; we can both have a parachute. The smartest leader in the world just jumped out with my backpack.”

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@American Cowboy- We're in agreement; nothing is going to stick to Barry and his gang. There's no longterm political advantage to giving him ANYthing he wants in hopes he'll have to "own" the consequences.

And let me know if your system of borrowing to pay off debts works. If it does, I DEFINITELY want to start doing the same thing.

@Jim Hlavac- I'm tempted to learn dirty words in foreign languages because B. Hussein has nearly exhausted my domestic supply (and I'm already tapping my emergency reserves). And yes, I know I could take a day off - and one of these days I may just make a post that says "Sorry, nothing today! Drop in again soon!" but I'm trying to resist it.

@CenTexTim- Nice!

@Grafton Cheddar- In my youthful idiocy, I was a liberal. Not because I knew what a liberal was, I just knew that Republicans Are Bad People. I'd like to think that I'd have never fallen for Obama's brand of hateful rhetoric- but I was pretty damn dumb for a long time.

Regarding Fox News, I like the evening special report with Bret Baier (and especially the roundtable wrap-up in the last 20 minutes of the show) and feel like they really do very fair and balanced reporting. I don't really go for the sideshow acts like Hannity and OReilly (which, in fairness, are clearly labeled commentary and not news). All of that being said, I don't think the mainstream news media has ever previously been such a direct propaganda wing of the Left.

@Colby- If they won't let your grandkids pay back the debt, offer to print your own currency to pay them back.

@Colby, CenTexTim, PeteD- Yeah, jokes are a good thing. Who knew that I didn't actually need to do cartoons and commentary; I can just put out chips and dips and let you guys create the content!

Chuck said...

Nice try Stilton. We can add to the soup, but without the base you provide, the meal just won't satisfy!

REM1875 said...

God bless those who stood up for America in that darkest hour.
Horrible as it was, the surprise attack on Pearl Harbor will not equal the announced attack we face today from the Chinese, U.N. and their allies in the white house. Of course the japanese made the mistake of not owning our media and schools, something the left has been far more careful about this time.
Thank you all who believed in America and give it all your support back then.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@REM1875- I visited the Arizona memorial at Pearl Harbor and found the experience incredibly moving. And I agree, with no hyperbole whatsoever, that the "inside job" attacks on our nation from the Left are a far greater threat than any other this nation has faced.

PRY said...

Very intrigued with the comments that 'anything obama' will not be at fault...and I agree completely!
Like I said a few days ago, we are witness to a very extraordinary time in our history.

I, too, find myself tuning in MSNBC quite often...not because I believe anything coming from there, but just the opposite! It is totally mind-boggling to be subjected to their brown-shirted allegiance to the current "leadership" in DC! And...what a change since the election in their faces and attitudes...they are just sooo confident and smug now, I just have to shake my head, knowing that its all coming down, on us and them, also.

I really appreciate this of the few sane and un-PC places left!