Friday, March 8, 2013

Nuke Kid in Town

obama, obama jokes, vacation, martha's vineyard, north korea, nuclear, jackass, stilton jarlsberg, hope and change, hope n' change, conservative

With the country still reeling from the apocalyptic impact of devastating sequester budget cuts and the tragic loss of Hugo Chavez, one of the president's closest allies and role models, we were ill-prepared for the threat from North Korea that they soon plan to launch a preemptive nuclear attack on the United States which will turn Washington DC into "a sea of fire."

Fortunately, Barack Obama has a plan to assure the continuity of our government in case the worst happens; he's heroically getting the hell out of Dodge and planning a vacation in Martha's Vineyard.

Yes, even though the president claims that there is no longer enough money for the government to staff the TSA, keep Navy vessels at sea, inspect meat for school lunches, forecast death-dealing weather events, pay to sweep the BS off the floors of Congress, or keep dangerous foreign felons in jail, Secret Service staffers are already booking accommodations and tee times for Mr. Obama's wildly expensive annual trip to Martha's Vineyard. Or we should say semi-annual, since last summer the president couldn't leave the campaign trail because it was so important to visit colleges and warn the students that capitalism causes global warming, and Mitt Romney causes cancer.

Meanwhile, North Korea's threats are being met for the umpteenth time with a powerfully worded warning from the UN which lacks nothing in impact just because it's sent on a pre-printed Hallmark card with a fill-in-the-blank line where "North Korea" has been hastily scribbled.

Although come to think of it, if UN sanctions are effective enough to protect all of us from nuclear war, maybe Mr. Obama could save some more sequester money by dismissing the Secret Service and just using UN sanctions to protect himself.

At the very least, it would free up more Secret Service agents for the apparently critical task of presidential vacation planning.

obama, obama jokes, vacation, martha's vineyard, north korea, nuclear, jackass, stilton jarlsberg, hope and change, hope n' change, conservative


Velcro said...

He's like a little brat playing king of the hill. Would that he were that innocuous.

Grumpy Curmudgeon said...

I really wonder if anyone has taken the (considerable) time to tally up the number of days and the cost to the taxpayers of Barack (I've Never Met a Golf Club I Didn't Like) and Michelle (Mooch, aka National Vacation) Obama days of 'vacation' and 'down time' trips. Yeah, the lefty argument is and forever will be that "Bush Did It" (the answer for everything from solar flares to zombie apocalypse), forgetting that 90+% of the time Bush was working or entertaining state visitors at the 'Western White House'. I might add, that Bush owned that property and didn't have to rent entire blocks of what is probably the most expensive real estate in the US, but hey, it's only dollars, and they're worth it - they work SO hard. To be honest, I would begin to believe that they have taken more vacation time since the first abomination, I mean election, than I took in 30 years employment.

Wife just reminded me that in the One's model economy, Europe, they have government mandated vacation time, so maybe that's the answer - a government mandated single wage that one can aspire to, coupled with a government paid month+ vacation and numerous local holidays/personal days, and government health care. The IRS will be replaced with a flat tax of 90% taken off the top and up front via wage garnishment, no need to file those pesky returns. Utopia is at hand!

grecnfx said...

Since when we voted the "Traveling Gnome" as our president?

Irene Peduto said...

Stilton - The so-called President of the USA is doing his best to undermine the country with debt and with continued reduction in our military. I remember when Clinton did that & 9/11 happened - under Bush' watch so Clinton was not perceived as being responsible in any way. As usual you have captured the severity of O's damage to America but have somehow turned it into a cartoon with, amazingly, a humorous spin.
Well said Grumpy Curmudgeon - Bush went to the ranch & used his own resources while on vacation. Yet he was bludgeoned by the MSM at every turn.

The Digital Hairshirt said...

My question is why isn't someone using these vacations of the President for something useful . . . like a coup d'état? Even Kruschev was smart enough to do that.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Guys, guys, guys! Pay attention! Øbama is keeping to his stated intent! Can't you see he's sequestering himself into Martha's Vineyard? From the dictionary:

Isolate or hide away (someone or something): "the traitorous bastard sequestered himself in Martha's Vineyard for two years".

And I welcome Washington being turned into a sea of fire. Lord knows: trying to clean house via elections hasn't worked. In any case, regarding the Quixotic leader of North Korea and his threats: I personally believe Kim Jong-un went to see the recent remaie of Red Dawn and thought it was a newsreel.

Colby said...

Carney's in the "press" room explaining to us that "We are capable of defending ourselves from an attack from North Korea..." Really? I thought the sequester closed the military? I'm confused... And I'd like to point out that Carney's blathering likely doesn't make folks in SOUTH Korea feel any better. We should be sending F-16's and tanks there instead of Egypt!

Extremely pointed post and funnies today! We have seen yet another shining example of obama's favorite saying: "When the going gets tough, the tough go on vacation."

Unknown said...

"Wow, I can see the mushroom cloud from here."

f'ing hilarious. -and true.

Grumpy Curmudgeon said...

Awhile back I read that the reason China is beginning to clamp down on it's idiot son, is they, like the South Koreans recognize that it would be an economic disaster to inherit NK's population. The population has literally grown up on less than a starvation diet, nutritionally deplete of everything. The result is that the general population is only good for digging ditches by hand - they do not have the mental development from the diet to learn anything more complicated. The end result would be that the two nations would inherit a nation that would drag their economies down providing food and healthcare.

As far as Carney's statement, I put it in the same group as Baghdad Bob's. Why should we believe anything this administration says.

Cookie said...

Does anyone else ever dream of a "real" president who is a real patriot? One who would take the high road and get things in order in the great nation? One who would put "we the people:" ahead of his own selfish motives?

Grumpy Curmudgeon said...

@Cookie: Gawd - What A Concept!!!!

Jim Hlavac said...

If austerity is going to Martha's Vineyard for a gold vacation, one wonders what he would have spent and where he would have gone if he wasn't so concerned with spending. Or, the man's a hypocritical wimp.

WindRider said...

Carney's right, our protection from NK missiles is their incompetence and short range.

Also, their "nukes'" yield about 3 kilotons, a sixth of the Hiroshima bomb. Something to keep an eye on, but not to be taken as a serious threat to the U.S. South Korea, on the other hand, is another story.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Velcro- Obama is many things, but "innocuous" isn't one of them.

@Grumpy Curmudgeon- As Charles Krauthammer pointed out, the cost of just the president's recent golf outing with Tiger Woods (and Reggie "Body Man" Love) would have paid for an entire year of Whitehouse tours. But hey- it was a tough decision: an entire year of letting the American people visit their house, or a 3-day golf weekend for the king.

@grecnfx- Now that you mention it, it seems like our traveling gnome would look right at home on a miniature golf course...

@Irene Peduto- Going back to Clinton, how many people still remember that he took investigators off Al-Qaeda so he could reassign them to look for (nonexistent) white racists who were burning black churches? And that when he was offered Bin Laden on a platter (much the way Bin Laden's brother in law was recently given to us), Clinton turned it down as being too politically risky.

So Slick Willy did a lot to lay the groundwork for 9/11...but when it happened, his freaking wife stood on the floor of the Senate with a newspaper headline proclaiming "BUSH KNEW!" to blame a good man.

Now, we're seeing Obama make things easy - if not inevitable - for the next attack on our country. The big difference between Obama and Clinton, though, is I don't think Bill did it on purpose.

@The Digital Hairshirt- Boy oh boy, there's nothing I like more than a good entirely hypothetical, rhetorical question! (Okay, now that Homeland Security has stopped reading, you may be on to something. Can we appoint a "recess president?")

@Emmentaler- I appreciate the grammar lesson, and hope that your example sentence is used in all future National Spelling Bees.

And I must admit that there's a small, ignoble part of me that wonder - in the event of Washington becoming a sea of fire - if we'll have enough sticks and marshmallows to fully enjoy the moment?

@Colby- Obama may be capable of defending the country from North Korea, but is he willing? A nuke hitting California, say, would give Barry all the impetus he needs to declare martial law and use his "emergency" powers to control Internet content. So Carney's words are no great comfort to me. As usual.

@mike lester- I hope it's not true, but it's a pretty faint hope.

By the way, for any readers who don't know, Mike Lester just happens to be one of the world's greatest conservative cartoonists (and also the creator of the hilarious non-political cartoon strip "Mike du Jour." Click this link for some examples of his work!

@Grumpy Curmudgeon- I'm sure Obama, being a glass half full kind of guy, would simply point out that North Korean peasants are 100% "shovel ready," whether using them for work or to dig their own graves.

And as far as Carney goes, I wouldn't believe him if told me that the sky is blue. He's a despicable little lying worm.

@Cookie- Such a simple thing to wish for, and yet you nearly drew a tear out of me because it seems so unreachable. But yes - I still have that dream.

@Jim Hlavac- I assume you meant "golf vacation" instead of "gold vacation," but it pretty much works either way. And it's a good question: if this is an example of him scaling back, what would the unsequestered version of the vacation have been like? Toilets which use champagne instead of water? (The bubbles make Barry giggle when he sits to pee)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Windrider- You're right that North Korea currently couldn't put a very big payload on a missile; enough to mess up someone's day on the receiving end, but not exactly likely to bring us to our knees.

On the other hand, I don't know how anyone in South Korea sleeps at night with that nuclear nutjob on the other side of the border.

It's No Gouda said...

Stilton: I imagine the folks in South Korea sleep OK as long as there is a stiff breeze from the south. It ain't that far from Seoul to Pyongyang and the "fallout" would be blowing back across the DMZ with a south wind. Of course, given the "doughboy's" vaunted "concern" for his own citzens I don't suppose it would bother him much while he was sequestered in his bunker.

Grafton Cheddar said...

The lighthouse pic...

I love the ever present Mom jeans, and are those Mooche's Big Butted White (can I say that?) Shorts I see there? First Lardy.

TC said...

I can't believe Secretary of State Dennis Rodman didn't completely smooth things over with North Korea. If basketball can't solve our world's problems, then what can? Oh yeah, another presidential vacation might!

Grumpy Curmudgeon said...

A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington, DC. Nothing was moving.

Suddenly, a man knocks on the window.

The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they're asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, collecting donations."

"How much is everyone giving, on an average?" the driver asks.

"Oh, about a gallon."

graylady said...

Another vacation?! Evidently he hasn't heard of the "stay-cation", the one most of the country is having to enjoy because we can't afford to travel. He really does live in his own little "sequestered" world and doesn't have a clue about how the rest of the country is doing financially.
The last vacation I took was 3 years ago. I went to San Antonio, TX. Well, actually I went to Brooke Army Medical Center at Ft. Sam Houston. My son was having surgery to restore the use of his left hand, which had been severely damaged by an IED in Iraq. The surgery was a success and now that he has manual dexterity back in his fingers, he flips off the big "O" everytime he comes on TV. An excellent use of functional fingers in my opinion.
To all the surgeons, doctors and nurses there, my deepest gratitude.
You not only saved his hand, you saved his life, physically and mentally.
Oh and Grumpy, I'll gladly donate a gallon or two.

REM1875 said...

Washington a sea of fire hmmm that is the vacation a lot of us would enjoy seeing them take. Well they may be headed to a vacation with a sea of fire one way or the other.
Wish there was a like button after the comments cause there is so many good ones as always but then it's pretty rare I see one I don't like.

REM1875 said...

Thank y'all and your son for the service and sacrifices y'all have made for us. God bless y'all
Hope your son has a full and speedy recovery.

PRY said...

Stilt, you are one fine writer! You might oughta send a 'thank you' card to the ANOINTED ONE sometime for giving you so much to work with...and you do a great job in the face of impending nuclear annihilation! That's a trait I am working on now; I'm still a little weak in that area!Great job!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@It's No Gouda- The problem with crazy people is that they don't think things through (or perhaps just don't care). I think Kim Jung Un is one of those people.

@Grafton Cheddar- Bonus points for the "First Lardy" line!

@TC- Frankly, I can't figure out the whole Dennis Rodman bromance with Little Kim (the dictator, not the rapper). Of course, Rodman has been certifiable for a long time.

@Grumpy Curmudgeon- I've heard the joke before, and still laugh.

@graylady- Thank you for sharing your heroic son's story - and especially for letting us know how he's exercising that finger. I'll admit to saluting Barry in the same manner, but my fingers have never been anywhere more dangerous than a computer keyboard. Please let your son know that I (and I'm sure many others here) thank him for his service!

@REM1875- Every time I encounter the phrase "Sea of Fire," my brain starts playing Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire." I get visuals, too, but they're better imagined than described.

@PRY- This blog is my "thank you" card to Barry for the job he's doing. (grin)

queso Grande said...

@graylady, Thank you for raising a son who knows the meaning of Duty, Honor, Country. I never let a soldier pay for their food when I am in the same place, this week will be in honor of him.

Apropos of the Nork threat and the latest vacation, the adulation of the Wan, and the public's flat out ignoring of the dichotomy between his populist BS and his oh so twee vacays is reminiscent of the Nork 'theater' of adoration.
It scards the crap outa me that so many can read of the closed WH tours and the Martha's vineyard vacay in the same paper and LAUD him still!!!!

While the actual backstory mitigates the impact of the saying, Marie Antoinette is rolling in her grave in jealousy......her head one way, and body the other.

PRY said...

@queso grande...
Wait until the money stops flowing to the general populace who exist totally our tax dollars; it will be a different story then I believe! The Prez gets the credit when things seem to be good, but the opposite is true!

Grafton Cheddar said...

Stilton, I can't claim credit for "First Lardy", as much as I might want to, butt... I didn't build that! I did independently come up with "Il Douche" for our PotatoPrick (*) without seeing any previous references to that on the internet, even though they were there, I guess. I am thinking that "SmallEye MacCheekDrop" for Moochelle has yet to have any takers...