Friday, June 28, 2013

Incuriouser and Incuriouser

obama, obama jokes, snowden, nsa, espionage, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, conservative, tea party, sealed documents, birth certificate

No matter where you come down in the Edward Snowden "hero or traitor" debate, you can't help but notice that "No Drama Obama" seems singularly sanguine about not pursuing the young cyber-culprit. Barry promises no jets, no phonecalls, and no wheeling and dealing - because it's all no big deal, right?

Wrong. It is a big deal, and something stinks to high heaven about Barry's casual attitude toward this security breach. Which made Hope n' Change think about one of Snowden's first comments to the press a few weeks ago, in which he asserted that "even a low-level agent (such as himself) could tap the president's phone calls if desired." Hmmmm...!

Or, perhaps, that low-level agent could also get copies of the president's long-sealed personal records? Birth certificate, passport records, police records, college records, medical records, check stubs to Bill Ayres for "ghostwriting services?" The mind boggles - but it would sure help explain why Barry is suddenly so interested in every issue other than this one.

It seems that in the age of Obamacare, the best health insurance you can have is a copy of the president's secrets...and the know-how to spread them if anything happens to you.

FRIDAY BONUS: Quips From the Crypt!

There are so many hot stories at the moment that I couldn't do justice to them all. But luckily, the Hope n' Change vaults are packed to the brim with cartoons and commentary which are (unfortunately) still timely. Click on the linked titles to read the accompanying historical (and hopefully hysterical) commentary!

 Borderline Insanity 7/3/10

 Robbing Hood and his Married Men  5/11/12

CO2 Tax 2/27/09  (No link for this one; this was among the very first Hope n' Change cartoons and I wasn't writing any commentary back then. Of course, I wasn't as pissed off as I am now...)


Emmentaler Limburger said...

If only Snowden would make them public, we could finally lay the "birther" issue to rest. But nothing there could possibly matter, could it? One would have thought that the simple act of secreting away any documentation of your past would arouse enough suspicion to prevent a country from freely electing you as their ruler. I don't think the LIV public gives a damn. As for LEGAL ramifications, as I indicated the other day: the alleged judicial and legislative branches appear not to give a damn, either, or this sham artist would have been ridden out of WDC on the rails the first time he overstepped his authority...

Grafton Cheddar said...

Hmmm... Maybe Barry bowed (bent over) one too many times?

Necron99 said...

@Dr. J; Once again, you have crystallized my thoughts exactly! The business of what Snowden knows (or may not know) about 0bongo and his shady past and omnipresent0schemes to eradicate our freedom & destroy our nation is the big question Dear Leader is scared to death of being revealed.

As to Snowden, I'm reminded of that old Klingon proverb, "Four thousand throats may be cut in one night by a running man."

Jim Hlavac said...

Alright, I confess, I have Snowden hidden under my blanket. I mean, wouldn't you? Hmm. Probably not. But, he tells me that the president is just too busy with vacations and golf and shutting down the coal industry to go after someone who may or may not know something. The president doesn't seem to like talking to anyone who knows anything, anyway. After all, in the president's "What I did for gays" statement a few weeks ago he forgot to mention America's largest unsolved mass murder -- 32 gay men burned to death in New Orleans on June 24th, 1973 -- hell, the vaunted "LGBT community" didn't know much about it either.

Oh darn, I missed your 5/11/12 cartoon, (who plays the man, cute!) I was hiding in Mexico at the time. Which is where I wrapped my mind around the odd Schrodinger existence of gay men -- we're getting more liberty as gays, but less as Americans. It's like being on two escalators at once: one going up, to haberdashery for the weddings, and one going down, into the broken economy -- about which I always joke, gay men have to have jobs, for there's no welfare programs for us, you know. Hell, some say we're more likely to be business owners and self-employed (getting fired so often is a great impetus to get off one's tuckus,) and that when ObamaCare and the rest hit the fan, we'll go down the tubes too! There's already been a few stories that "oops, we didn't put gay couples in it!" -- that should be fun when the rest of my fellows figure that out.

Still, I know many of you are queasy about the um, queer marriage thing. Don't think about it in the abstract -- think about it as "what would happen if Jim I know at HnC got married?" -- and the answer is simple: nothing will happen to you.

Meanwhile, if you think Snowden, and the president's records, and ObamaCare and global warming are hard to figure out, try explaining 100 years of gay reality in 250 pages or less -- which I did -- and it'll be on Kindle within a few days. I'm sure everyone can find it -- Hlavac is not hard to find, my dear cheese heads. As president of Sissies for Sarah, I'm sure my take on the matter will be well received. Or I'll go into hiding.

Now, back to yours, and mine, regularly scheduled angst about things that matter ... what doesn't the president know, and when didn't he know it?

Anonymous said...

Jim, I tend to see people as the individuals that they are but as far as groups go, Gay people are to my mind one of the best. Those I have known have had certain tendencies, besides the obvious one. Creativity, caring, hard-working with a few exceptions, gregarious, educated, humorous. The only common negative is the tendency to be liberal and democrats.

As a libertarian and reasonable thinking person I have always been so supportive of equality for gay people that it has caused some to question my own sexuality. Back in the day when The Cracker Barrel was discriminating against gay waiters, my adamant refusal to accompany the family there for dinner made my parents wonder about me.

Marry whomever makes you happy. As it should be.


Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Emmentaler- I have complicated feelings about Snowden and haven't decided how to categorize him yet, though I suspect he's an asshole. Mind you, he could still be hero or traitor - just in an assholish kind of way. Although if he was to open Barry's private, sealed files for the world to inspect I'd certainly have warmer feelings about him.

@Grafton Cheddar- See, there was this one time in band camp...

@Necron99- I don't know if Snowden has the goods on Barry, or if the president is simply pretending not to care because he's been made to look like a freakin' fool in the world's eyes. Much like the fox muttering over sour grapes that he didn't really want anyway, Barry is belittling that which he doesn't have the international clout to lay his hands on.

@Jim Hlavac- Unlike some folks, I'm perfectly happy with the Supreme Court decision on DOMA. I think "traditional marriage" has already taken it in the teeth thanks to heterosexual screw-ups who've tarnished the institution. Which isn't to say that I don't believe in the importance of marriage - I definitely do. I just happen to think that same-sex couples should have the same opportunity to find happiness as anyone else.

But as I said in the commentary at the time, what I really want is Obama to get out of our bedrooms and make the economy and nation better for everyone. Gays, blacks, hispanics, and women are as affected by the economy and job market as anyone else - and are hurt just as badly (or perhaps worse) when an ineffective president allows - or even encourages - so much economic decline.

@Readers- Just a quick comment on the Senate's immigration bill; I think it's a very bad joke, and I ain't laughing. I'm bone weary of people getting away with breaking the rules (and, oh yeah, LAWS) and then being rewarded with money and benefits wrested from saps like me who continue trying to do the "right thing" even when it's become counterproductive.

Immigration reform is needed, but this bill stinks on ice.

PRY said...

Stilt, you are so right! As time goes by, it is incredible how the important issues of our time such as climate control, shutting down needed industries such as coal, same-sex marriage, the war on terror, intel leaking, abortion,etc(wow, what a list!)...they are as timely as ever! It is no accident all these things are coming down now, as we have such a corrupt bunch of weirdos running things.

I was very surprised when a while back, the people of California upheld the Defense of Marriage thing, seeing as how they are on the 'left coast'! I guess hooray for all the people who are overjoyed at the Supreme Court's decision this week going against DOMA. But doesnt it say something about our culture when a majority is over-ruled, such as this issue and also abortion, which a majority of citizens do not support?
Gay people have rights now, but unborn babies (some of which undoubtedly will be gay) are still denied the right to life. Our country is going to be SO judged! It's coming.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Brad- Well said, and you very much echo my own life experience. I've had (and have) quite a few Gay friends and been able to see some very longterm, committed relationships up close. This did not threaten my own marriage or, in fact, concern me in any way.

As I've said here before, I've got huge problems with the societal damage done by promiscuity, depersonalization, and sexual behavior which hurts or victimizes others - whether hetero or homo.

Judging same-sex marriage on the basis of the worst behaviors of some Gays strikes me as being just as stupid as judging traditional marriage based on the behaviors of a heterosexual "swingers" club.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Pry- Truth be told, it's pretty depressing to go back into the backlog of Hope n' Change cartoons and see how many of our current disasters were easy to spot years ago.

Regarding DOMA and majority rule, I'll point out that one of the best parts of our Constitution is that protects the rights of those who are in the minority - be it ethnic, sexual orientation, religion, or political beliefs.

But that being said, citizen majorities should be heard on matters which don't involve inalieable rights - like, oh, giving citizenship to illegal aliens or forcing an unwanted healthcare disaster down our throats.

Regarding abortion, I think it's well past time to have serious talks about when the unborn do have their right to life recognized. When our president claims that such a right doesn't exist even after birth, clearly we're overdue to inject logic and morality back into the discussion - and the legal system.

Sparky said...

"... something stinks to high heaven about Barry's casual attitude toward this security breach." I think you've hit the nail on the head again! My husband also figured this out. Hubby also said that there's something fishy in Denmark with why The Great One doesn't want Snowden brought back. He's figuring that Snowden physcially has something, or can access something, incriminating on Turdboy, et. el. I also do not believe for one minute that our enemies didn't already know about all the spying and how they went about it. Either way, the whole scandal will be a mare's nest for this Administration for many years to come.

Colby said...

It would be the best poetic justice ever to see Barry de-throned by this Snowden mess. Gee Barry, sometimes those "shiny objects" turn out to be shiny objects that bite you in the ass. I wouldn't be in the least surprised if Kerry hisself isn't out there finding hiding places for Snowden. "Here, ol' pal. Here's a posh apartment constantly supplied with food, women, and booze, but keep yer mouth SHUT!"

@Jim H,
I don't think I'm alone when I say that most Conservative types could give a rats ass if people want to be gay or lesbian or whatever. We just don't like it shoved down our throats, or maybe more accurately, don't want our kids bombarded with it on TV, school, magazines.... By the same token, we don't want the kids barmbarded with heterosexual stuff either.

It boils down to privacy as far as I'm concerned. Sex is a private matter and should be treated as such. You have always been tasteful when talking about your homosexuality, and I appreciate that. If Jim at HnC got married? I'd be the first to congratulate you. Jim at HnC on the news dressed in Daisy Dukes, acting like a moron and waving a big sign? It's time to switch channels.

PRY said...

Stilt, here's the way I look at ANYTHING O says...I automatically go the OTHER WAY!

I appreciate your labor here, bud, more than you know. We all do!

PRY said...

In economics, a "perverse effect" means getting what you don't want.

In our current state of national perversity we have massive voter ignorance and apathy (and therefore no punishment for misgovernment), a Senate that passes critical legislation without even bothering to read it, an income tax code written by special-interest lobbyists over decades, and an IRS that is so deeply politicized that voter outrage has no visible impact at all. Add a one-party media and government control over one seventh of the economy coming up, and you know we're not going to come out of this unscathed.

This presidency is practically defined by its perversity. When this administration gets caught with its pants down, it just becomes even more grandiose.

Perverse incentives, and perverse decisions.

George in Houtx said...

Jim H. , I like you! straight(pun intended), to the point! you are right! if Jim got married, it would mean nothing to me (unless he married me) ..... I would hope for his happiness in his situation!Schrodinger has nothing on the plight of gays in Islamic countries. they claim they don't have gay Muslims ..... that is because they eliminate all that they suspect are even 'slightly' gay. personally, I don't know what you go thru, but I experience similar because I am a Christian. I guess it could be worse .... I could be a gay Christian! I would be doubly persecuted! btw, if you get married, don't look for a wedding gift. not because I wouldn't, but because finances prevent it!

Ted said...

"Wrong. It is a big deal,"

Oh. With such a compelling and well thought argument as that, how can Obama not risk starting a fucking international incident with Russia, to get back one whistleblower?

Not that I should really complain. It contains the same amount of insight and intelligence as any of your regular blog posts, but with lower bandwidth, and is less likely to cause an aneurism from the shear stupidity.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Ted Brist- It's not just my opinion that the Snowden affair is a "big deal." That's also the opinion of Keith Alexander, the general who is in charge of the NSA, who says Snowden "caused irreversible and significant damage to our country and to our allies."

You then assert that the ONLY way the Boy King could wield influence with Russia is to create a "fucking international incident." Actually, if Putin didn't rightly think of Barry as an inconsequential twirp who lacks the balls to do anything, a simple phonecall would encourage cooperation without creating an international incident.

Side note: you don't really elevate your argument by adding "fucking" as an adjective. It's bad enough that you've expressed your fascination with fetal masturbation; we'd rather not be subjected to your Tourette's too.

And finally, is Snowden just a "whistleblower?" Neither you nor anyone else knows exactly what information he took, who helped him, and what he plans to do with it. But clearly that doesn't matter to you and your fact-free opinions.

Ted said...

@Stilon Jarlsburg: "It's not just my opinion that the Snowden affair is a "big deal." That's also the opinion of Keith Alexander, the general who is in charge of the NSA, who says Snowden "caused irreversible and significant damage to our country and to our allies.""

And getting him now will make all the secrets go away. Thats how time works.

"Actually, if Putin didn't rightly think of Barry as an inconsequential twirp who lacks the balls to do anything"

Do anything but kill Bin Laden. Sorry, you seem to have forgotten how Obama killed the worlds #1 terrorist, while your moron of a President couldn't find him in 7 years. You should remember that in future. To help, I'll remind you over and over. Kay?

And as for working with Putin, I know you and your fellow morons look at Putin as some kind of man of strength, and I know that Russian propaganda works very well on those with a low intelligence, but anyone with maturity above that of a 9 year old knows the guy is just an image-whore asshole. He actively cultivates the image of an ex-KGB gangster so as to keep his people believing he holds the key to the stability of the pre-fall USSR days.

He will do everything in his power to make this incident as painful as possible, because thats how he makes being an asshole look like being a pillar of strength. Obama understands this, and just can't be bothered dealing with that stuff. What a shock, you can't see what will actually happen.

You don't know if he even HAS any information you moron. And why the hell would he? He exposed the governments spy network, why would he compound the problem by stealing government secrets and running off with them. Newsflash, the Cold War is over. You don't get asylum for leaking American secrets.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Ted Brist- I'll keep this short and sweet under the assumption that you need at least 60 seconds of reading about yourself in order to ejaculate, so I'll only give you 59.

Your first bon mot is "And getting him now will make all the secrets go away. That's how time works." I have no freakin' idea what you're even intending to say with that sentence. Logorrhea.

Second, you can believe Barry killed bin Laden, but I believe he only failed to stop it from happening even though he and Valerie Jarrett did cancel the mission so often that bin Laden was about to get away. Barry didn't do shit, and was sullenly pulled off the golf course and into the situation room which is the first he learned that the mission had been launched without asking his permission.

Regarding Putin having no strength? Well, he's certainly gotten concession after concession from B. Hussein Opussy - who is afraid now to even pick up the phone. You say Barry can't be "bothered" with this. Why not? What the hell ELSE is he doing? Going after the killers in Benghazi? Cleaning up the IRS? Explaining to the public why their health insurance costs are skyrocketing - assuming that they don't lose their employer sponsored insurance entirely? No - he's not too busy with any of those things because he's on vacation in Africa, wishing to hell he had even a drop of slave blood to whine about.

You then claim that Snowden doesn't have any additional intelligence secrets on the four laptops and assorted harddrives he's carrying (do you read any news at all?) Maybe he just wants to have multiple backups of his "Words with Friends" games.

And finally, "Newsflash, the Cold War is over." Sure it is, Ted. We're great chums with Russia now - except maybe when it comes to which side of the Syrian war we're choosing to arm, or agreeing on where we're allowed to position defensive weapons in Europe.

Okay, that's 59 seconds worth of talk about you, you, wonderful you. If you still want your "happy ending," just keep slapping while imagining fetuses.

Pete(Detroit) said...

Ohhhh, THAT's gonna leave a mark!