Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Bic It Where The Sun Don't Shine

obama, obama jokes, cartoon, humor, stilton jarlsberg, hope n' change, hope and change, conservative, tea party, pen, phone, executive orders

Barack Obama took time yesterday to assure the American people that this year, he doesn't intend to let little things like Congress, the Constitution, or laws in general stand between him and his fiendish plans. Which isn't exactly how he phrased it, but people with fiendish plans really like to use a lot of euphemisms when speaking.

Declaring that he no longer intends to wait for the legislative process to work (what with all of those annoying elected officials representing pesky citizens, and the nitpicking Supreme Court interpreting the outdated Constitution), Obama announced "I've got a pen, and I've got a phone!" Which he presumably keeps in the same desk drawer as his hammer and sickle.

In much the way steel-drivin' John Henry swung his hammer, lawd, lawd, Barry intends to swing his mighty pen to assure that "kids are getting the best education possible, (make) sure that our businesses are getting the kind of support and help they need to grow and advance, and to make sure that people are getting the skills that they need to get those jobs that our businesses are creating."

In other words, he'll skip Congressional oversight and funnel more money to teachers' unions, create more business-destroying regulations, and authorize more college loans to make sure our young are never out of debt and our nation will never fall behind in the critical production of Gender Studies professors.

Meanwhile, with his mighty phone he intends to personally speak to a lot of academic types about his potential executive orders, thereby collecting the same kind of expert opinions which have made Obamacare such a rousing success. What could possibly go wrong?

All of this is, of course, exactly the kind of banana republic dictatorial powerplay that our Founding Fathers warned us against.

And why they designed the Articles of Impeachment in such a way that any executive who abuses the power of the federal pen might well be sent to the Federal Pen.

 Intrepid reporters take pictures of Obama's Magic Pen.


Duke Mantee said...

“The pen is mightier than the sword.” However, I think it’s getting to the point (if you’ll excuse the pun) where we need to use the sword.

TrickyRicky said...

OMG Stilton, I really, really need a laugh this morning. Now I have brown "Coffee" all over my monitor due to your brown ink punchline. Awesome.

Grafton Cheddar said...

Once he gets sent to the federal pen, one can only hope that there will be more than a few rectal "thermometers" there, ready and waiting to take his temperature..

jgaultcsa said...

I often share your cartoons with my fellow travelers. I've noticed that whenever it deals with something particularly heinous THE ONE is doing, (like this one), the image width is exactly >666 pixels! Coincidence?

Emmentaler Limburger said...

Q: When will the remainder of the Gummint grow a set and smack this little, lying, extra-constitutional bastard down?!
A: Never. Just like Lincoln, Wilson, FDR, Johnson, Nixon, Carter... He's setting precedence for when THEY'RE in charge.

Reiuxcat said...

I read somewhere that Reggie said the presidential pen "ain't all that."

Which may explain Mooches scowl all the time. Nah, just kidding. She is one hate filled person.

Bruce Bleu said...

I guess this explains the other schoolkids referring to lamont (while using his quill) as a "dip-shit". It's like the story about lamont getting out of the shower and noticing that his face was completely white. Fearing that he might have the same disease as Michael Jackson, (vitiglio), he went to the doctor. After a thorough examination, the doctor produced a brown solution for lamont to drink. AFTER drinking it all down, lamont said, "what was THAT doc... it tastes like SHIT!?" The doctor replied, "it WAS... you were a quart low!"

CenTexTim said...

I've been at a loss to understand why someone - anyone - hasn't challenged some of barry's more egregious end-runs around the Constitution. Emmentaler Limburger's explanation makes as much sense as any other I've heard.

Either that or the IRS and NSA has intimidated everyone...

American Cowboy said...

Øbamma says, "That explains the brown ink."

Or perhaps that explains how he is screwing the American citizen?

John the Econ said...

America's first "Imperial Presidency". And how's that working out for everyone?

Nobody in Washington notices that the slide in education almost perfectly correlates to the rise of the "Department of Education". The last thing legitimate business needs is "support" from Washington. And the Federal government has been making sure that people get skills for generations now, and all we have to show for it are millions of citizens enslaved by over a trillion-dollars of outstanding student loan debt, most of which will likely never get repaid. And the message from business has resoundingly been that they don't need the skills that people have been going in debt for. Another PhD in "(insert aggrieved group here) Studies" and "Community Organizing" is about as useful as a flaming bag of excrement to most businesses.

@CenTexTim, There is a single bright spot; Judging by the questions posed by the Supreme Court the other day, (even by the Obama appointees) it appears as though they are going to seriously slap down the President on his phony non-recess-recess appointments to the National Labor Relations Board. Recall that in 2012, Obama appointed 3 union hacks while the Senate was in session without Senate confirmation, who immediately proceeded to issue hundreds of pro-union decisions. A business that was adversely affected by one of these decisions sued, arguing that the decisions were not legal because Obama's appointments were not legal.

Hopefully this will become a trend. The real shame is that we're going to have to spend a fortune of lawyers to make it happen.

Marine4ever said...

Reblogged this at I'm NOT Drinking Obama's Kool-Aid!

@ Grafton Cheddar -- Don't hope for THAT! Why do ya think they call him 'Bathhouse Barry'?!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Duke Mantee- I think recognition of the whole pen vs sword conundrum is the reason the Founding Fathers gave us the Second Amendment as a tiebreaker.

@TrickyRicky- I keep meaning to market Hope n' Change monitor wipes, but never quite get around to it.

@Grafton Cheddar- Sadly, I think you may have just described Barry's idea of heaven.

@jgaultcsa- Interesting. The 666 pixels aren't intentional on my part, but pretty clearly indicate that spirits are guiding the creation of these cartoons. And by spirits, of course I mean booze.

@Emmentaler- This is what drives me crazy; the sonofagun DECLARES that he's going to operate outside of his legal power, and nobody says diddly squat about it (in any meaningful way). And you're right - it's entirely possible that the people who are supposed to guard against the abuse of power are simply waiting for their own turn to abuse power.

@Reiuxcat- I sometimes wonder if it "ain't all that" or "ain't even there."

@Bruce Bleu- After which, Barry held out his empty cup and said, "Please, sir, I want some more." (Originally a quote from Charles Dickens'"David Coprophilia").

@CenTexTim- Emmentaler's explanation does make sense. Damn it.

@American Cowboy- Every time Barry signs another executive order, I certainly feel like I've been visited by the backdoor bandit.

@John the Econ- I'm hoping (weakly) that the Supreme Court will smack Barry for his crazy assertion that "in session" is a meaningless concept subject to imperial will.

And frankly, I's starting to think there's a much better cost/benefit ratio to using pitchforks rather than lawyers to set things right.

@Marine4Ever- Thanks for the share, it's always appreciated!

And you're right; prison showers surely hold no terror for "Man Country" Soetoro.

Snackeater said...

"Actually sir, that's a rectal thermometer."
"Damn! Then some asshole's got my pen."

Anonymous said...

In a civilized country such an utterance would result in a prompt neck tie party. Every nation gets the government it deserves.

Anonymous said...

Life in prison would be way too lenient for Ba'raq Osama. We're talking TREASON here. Nothing less than the maximum sentence (after due process has been followed, of course).