Monday, August 10, 2015

Third Degree Bernie

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, black lives matter, michael brown, bernie sanders, protestors

In what is quite possibly the most delightful news story Hope n' Change has read in years, Socialist presidential candidate Bernie "Share the wealth" Sanders had to involuntarily share (and eventually forfeit) the stage with idiotic protestors who commandeered his microphone.

Before we dive into the actual events - which are so delicious that we don't have to make up anything - let's all take a deep relaxing breath so we can truly savor each delightful detail of this hilarious fustercluck. Ready?

It all began in Seattle, the very Mecca of Liberalism, where Bernie Sanders was scheduled to speak to (in the words of the Huffington Post) a "massive" rally of dozens of liberals, staged by a group called the Social Security Works Coalition. The event was a celebration of entitlement services, complete with a tacky cardboard birthday cake - presumably in commemoration of the many years that people have been getting taxpayer-funded cake.

Sanders took to the microphone and drew cheers when he thanked Seattle "for being one one of the most progressive cities in the state!" Which turned out to be his last word on that or any other subject because the microphone was quickly snatched out of his hands by protestors from Black Lives Matter.

Activist (we'd never use the word "extremist") Mara Johnson then accused the alleged crowd of covering themselves in "white supremacist liberalism" and demanded four and a half agonizing minutes of silence to mark the sad one-year anniversary of violent cigar thief Michael Brown becoming a speed bump in Ferguson, Missouri.

The crowd, albeit annoyed and whining, actually did exactly what Johnson told them to do because white liberals would rather burst into flames than challenge a black person, even one who's disrupting a public event. Which is why, following the period of silence, Johnson launched into a seemingly endless tirade against racism and other perceived injustices.

Eventually, showing the strength and resolve which he would no doubt bring to the Oval Office, Sanders simply slinked away from the event without saying another word.

The event's organizers were disappointed but, being Seattle liberals, had praise for the "courage" of the Black Lives Matter protestors.

Frankly, Hope n' Change thinks that the activists (who no doubt showed up on a bus funded by the Clinton Family Foundation) should have set their sights a bit higher and grabbed a microphone from Barack Obama to protest this horribly unfair and racist nation.

Unfortunately, that wasn't an option - because the president is in Martha's Vineyard kicking off his multi-million dollar #BlackVacationsMatter campaign.


Joseph ET said...

The idiots in Ferguson are at it again tonight. It appears they didn’t have enough fun and free stuff last year and they want a second chance. I guess everyone needs a second chance. The score so far is only two business broken into (Check cash and loans and Bowen's beauty supply looted) and Multiple shots erupted with two persons transported to hospital. Updated: Aug 09, 2015 10:10 PM PST Here is a live video feed in Ferguson

Dobro Player said...

Sanders probably did the right thing by walking away. If he had used his security people to remove the protesters, the narrative would be "racist old KKKracka assaults peaceful black protesters". Since he is trying to win the Democrat vote, removing the protesters would not win him any votes, because Democrats don't care about courage.

Rod said...

Nice issue Stilt. At least we're now on ANNUAL renewal of the topic, not constant replay. It seems the original run was ~six months so we did get a little break.

When a next new stadium or perhaps a race track with their huge parking lots are needed near St. Louis, or maybe a floodwater retention reservoir, nuclear waste disposal site or an urban precision bombing range; Ferguson could be repurposed. Nah, ya'll don't have to move.

Anonymous said...

Wow, these folks that are always demanding tolerance sure are intolerant.
I noticed that Sanders capitulated and hired a young black woman as spokesperson.
And no, it was NOT Rachel Dolezal.


TMay said...

Just wondering when you are going to attempt to find humor in the Animas River situation of the EPA dumping 3 million gallons of toxic acid hard metal and arsenic contaminated mining sludge into the river near Durango in Colorado, heading to New Mexico and Mexico about which we will probably have to pay Mexico damages. This happened Wed. They kept quiet about it for 24 hours. Then the Obamas slipped out of town quietly a day early for their 17 day vacation on an estate on Martha's Vineyard on Friday with no press interviews expected. I am still waiting to see if it hits the ecologically delicate Grand Canyons, then Las Vegas, Albuquerque, Los Angeles and San Diego, since the Animas River allegedly flows into the Colorado River. If it goes that way it will affect 40 million people and 5.5 million acres of farmland in drought stricken California. It appears that they misused a John Deere type of tractor with a claw and punched a hole in a dam of the waste holding ponds of a mine. No one seems to be looking out for animals nor for the bald headed eagle nor endangered species. This is the same self-righteous EPA which is closing coal mines, which will raise the cost of electricity across the nation, to save us from global warming. They are expecting long term damage to the river since the hard metals will settle into the sediment and come to the surface everytime there is a storm. The terrorists must be envious, or trying to figure out how to do it to hurt Las Vegas and Los Angeles, if the Epa hasn't. A person thinking of harming the Grand Canyons is beyond the ken, although I am sure Hoover Dam is up there on a to do list on a terrorist's wish list. As I said elsewhere it is an inversion of the story of the little child in Holland who put his finger in the hole in the dyke. Furthermore, on top of affecting drinking water, it has wiped out tourism for the river and rafting.

Fred Ciampi said...

First of all, thank you for the new word, fustercluck. I will use it often in concert with Buck O'Fama.

Second, the protesters once again demonstrated their intolerance toward tolerance by taking over the rally of the socialist Bernie. These people are their own worst enemy. I wonder how many Seattle folks are second guessing their left leaning trends now? Some day the huddled masses are going to get fed up with the destructive protests and hold a protest of their own.

On another subject, a very very long freight train was spotted in central California this weekend heading north with hundreds of armored vehicles and not just a few tanks aboard. Just being nosey but where they going to or coming from? Hmmmmm, where'd I put my 'shine?

Cat Whisperer said...

Does her tee shirt say "BULLETPROG"?

Geoff King said...

Interesting that the Black Lives Matter loonies should choose to disrupt the Sander's campaign for a second time now and have not as yet attempted to sabotage the Clinton campaign or that of any republican for that matter. Could Hitlery consider Bernie to be a real threat to her coronation bid and actually be behind these outbursts? Nah, she's too honorable for that, right?

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Joseph ET- The initial reports from Ferguson are somewhat confusing, but it's clear that some serious troublemaking was going on, with looting and multiple guns. Too bad Barry is on vacation and unavailable to explain how this is the fault of the police.

@Dobro Player- It was a no-win situation for Bernie, and he knew it. But it's also a no-win situation for everyone else at the Rally when political correctness causes them to avert their eyes and bite their tongues because the lunatics charging the stage happen to be black. By the way, Bernie, nice "security."

@Rod- I like those ideas. Or maybe turn Ferguson into one of those massive graveyards for old tires which always seem to be on fire.

@Chish McFicken- I can't help but wonder if, in a similar situation, Sanders' new black spokeswoman would have given up the microphone to the protesters, or just told them to get their asses off the stage?

@TMay- The EPA toxic spill is a huge story, and would have been what I covered if the Sanders story hadn't given me such waves of joy. I have liberal friends who are already saying that the spill is proof that we shouldn't be mining, rather than that we shouldn't have overly-empowered nitwits from the government meddling in anything dangerous.

Where is the outrage and front-page coverage that occurred when there was a nice, juicy corporate target like British Petroleum to go after for a disastrous spill? Where are the stories about little Malia Obama asking her daddy if he had "plugged the hole" yet?

I think it's time labels were put on damn near everything saying "Caution: The EPA Is Hazardous To Your Health."

@Fred Ciampi- The protesters actually (and unintentionally) made one good point: an increase in entitlements (which was the subject of the rally) is not going to help black Americans in the long term. At least, not if they hope to rise above being raised (at a bare subsistance level) as "cattle with votes" on the big Democrat plantation. "White supremacist liberalism" was a completely accurate accusation.

Regarding the train loaded with military equipment, who the hell knows what's going on behind the scene these days? One scenario I can imagine: there are increasing rumblings (no pun intended) that a super-massive quake may hit California in the near future. If it does, it's not hard to imagine the legitimate need for military equipment in the aftermath. Of course, I can imagine plenty of less legitimate scenarios too.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Cat Whisperer- Actually, her shirt says "Bulletproof." Too bad Michael Brown wasn't wearing one of those, huh?

@Geoff King- I joked about Hillary funding their transportation, but it was only sort of joking. I wouldn't be surprised if it were true.

rickn8or said...

"Eventually, showing the strength and resolve which he would no doubt bring to the Oval Office, Sanders simply slinked away from the event without saying another word."

And for that reason, Sanders is toast. I seem to remember another Democrat candidate whose campaign went south when he was photographed crying in public...

John the Econ said...

Was this amusing or what? I always experience great schadenfreude when I see the Progressive left consume itself. Or more precisely, when a child of the white Progressive left finally hits adolescence and becomes an unruly spoiled brat who makes it their personal mission to make their parents lives miserable. Bernie got a taste of that over the weekend.

Bernie might be forgiven for not knowing how to react. After all, Vermont is one of the whitest places in the country and it's likely that Bernie's never had to deal with this kind of thing before. The last thing a liberal (and most GOP squishies) wants today is to be called a "racist", and doing absolutely anything in response to obviously bad behavior by any perceived minority is considered "racist". Knowing this, Bernie simply left.

So Bernie's going to have to learn how to deal with this kind of thing really fast, lest he be forced to flee every state from this point on. @Stilton may be suggesting this in jest, but is it really to stretch to imagine that the Clinton Foundation will be busing these people to all future Bernie events? After all, rumors are already swirling that it's Bill Clinton responsible for Donald Trump running for the GOP position in an effort to split and decimate the vote for who they see as the real threat to Hillary, Jeb Bush.

As for the "courage" of the Black Lives Matter protesters, how much courage does it really take to disrupt a white leftist politician in a leftist city when you know they'll almost immediately fold at your very presence? I'd like to see these folk use some of that supposed courage against some of the GOP candidates. They'll be doing us a favor as we watch to see which candidates fold like Bernie, and which ones stand up to them and throw their own hypocrisy back at them, before throwing them out. For example, explaining how #BlackLivesDon'tMatter when thugs like Michael Brown are lionized and allowed to freely roam the streets as they make our communities living hells for decent, law-abiding citizens. Then I'll finally know who to support.

Bruce Bleu said...

Yeah, Stilt... "black lives matter" as long as they aren't UNBORN black lives! If the black population wasn't infested with a large number of STUPID blacks, they might be more inclined toward the father staying with his wife/kids and raising their families and actually doing something PRODUCTIVE with themselves instead of whining about whitey "keeping them down". I guess the legacy of selling your OWN CHILDREN into SLAVERY so YOU can eat has come to America as the irresponsible act of allowing YOUR unborn babies to be murdered or abandoning your own "chillin" to "yo baby mama" while you spread more seed among other "wimmins".
Yeah... it's a proud day when MONKEYS exhibit more family values then black people!

Mike aka Proof said...

It would have been the perfect opportunity for an "I paid for this microphone" moment.
Unfortunately, as a socialist, Bernie believed the mic belonged to everybody...

John the Econ said...

@TMay, as supposedly working for the Koch Brother's isn't as lucrative as the Kos boys seem to think it is, I can forgive @Stilton for not addressing the EPA cluster-&$@! in Colorado last week. But it is an excellent topic, and for so many reasons. Had any corporation handled this situation as the EPA did, there'd already be calls for hearings and criminal prosecutions. Certainly, waiting 24 hours before picking up a phone while those in charge worked up their cover-their-ass strategies would be considered criminal in any other context. I can imagine the folks at BP responsible for the Gulf oil spill are experiencing a degree of schadenfreude in their offices today.

My take away from this? This is what one can expect when the government seriously screws up. As the government continues to take over more and more aspects of our lives, what chance does an individual citizen have when the state screws up their life? For example, single-payer government health care? When the doctors, nurses, hospital incompetently screw up your life, what recourse will you get? First there will be the cover-up, and then the bureaucratic wall.

Watch how this unfolds. Will be interesting.

@Stilton, re "we shouldn't be mining": about a month ago, another useful idiot showed up on my porch wishing my support (came right out and asked for 100-bucks up front, in fact) to stop a new silver mine in the state. I couldn't help but notice the silver-plated piercing on her face. "Where did the metal for that come from?" You can imagine how the rest of that exchange progressed, or didn't. In retrospect, I should have asked her for $100 for the education I provided...

Suzy said...

"#BlackVacationsMatter" = ROFLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ritz or Saltine.....hahaha. I vote that "cracker" should be outlawed. Companies should have to rename everything "crisps" instead. Racists!

I come comment here because I would get in too much trouble on FB for commenting on your stuff..... I already lost one AA friend over my views on Obama. Sigh. Heaven forbid I die laughing publicly over "blackvacationsmatter" although that is the funniest thing I have read in a long time!!!!!!

Doug said...

I really love the "Bulletproof" t-shirt. A misnomer if ever there was one!

TrickyRicky said...

@John the Econ-That reminds me of an encounter two summers ago when I was home for a week recovering from a foot surgery, lying about in sweatpants and a golf shirt and munching pain killers. A clipboard-toter rang the doorbell and got a look of abject horror on his face when I opened the door, saying "I guess I came to the wrong house". We discussed the pros and cons of petroleum products and I refused to sign his frac ban petition. Only after he left did I realize I was wearing a Halliburton shirt. I might have had more fun with him in retrospect.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@rickn8or- I'd agree with you were it not for the fact that libs won't hold it against Bernie that he deferred to black agitators, nor see it as "weakness." To them, it's "enlightenment."

@John the Econ- In truth, I completely believe the Clintons will be funding fake demonstrations and staged confrontations to blindside their opponents.

And no, it took no courage whatsoever for the BlackLivesMatters whackjobs to grab a microphone in Seattle. They either get the microphone, or they get network news coverage when they're "assaulted" by security. It's a no-lose scenario.

@Bruce Bleu- A lot of what you're describing are problems caused by the Left, and what I consider to be the "new slavery." And I mean that without the slightest exaggeration or hyperbole. As long as liberals treat black Americans like cattle, we're going to continue to see inhuman behavior coming out of their communities.

@Mike aka Proof- Good point. Bernie doesn't actually believe in paying for anything.

@John the Econ- If a private corporation was behind this spill, Obama would already have been on national television decrying it as the environmental disaster of the century, promising a full investigation, swift justice, and new legislation (or Executive Orders) to protect us from such evildoers.

And you're certainly right that this is the very model of what we can expect from the government in all areas with overreaching bureaucracy.

@Suzy- I'm thinking that I need to whip up some memes of the Obamas enjoying their luxurious, taxpayer-funded getaway with that #BlackVacationsMatter slogan. It's too much fun not to spread around a bit more.

And I'm glad you can comment freely here. Facebook can be a touchy place, with people not really understanding where you're coming from when you "like" a post. Or maybe they DO understand and still get honked off!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Doug- I wonder if she knows that cotton plus a slogan don't equal kevlar?

@TrickyRicky- Sweet!

PRY said...

I was wondering why no one just turned the PA off!

Fred Ciampi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fred Ciampi said...

PRY, because turning off the PA system takes a slight amount of initiative, self reliance and incentive. All of which are absent from socialists, rabble, and liberals in general.

Geoff King said...

Off topic, but I thought it quite enlightening that they have just found evidence that William Shakespeare was a pot smoker.
Doobie or not doobie. That is the question!

TMay said...

@Stilton Jarlsberg Well there is a report that there will be an earthquake magnitude 9 in the Washington, Oregon, Vancouver Island, area in the next 50 years along, with a huge tsunami, but they don't have predictive powers regarding when. Plus they are totally unprepared for it.

John the Econ said...

Also off-topic:

Hillary Clinton's $350 billion plan to kill college debt

The short version? By transferring it from the idiots who borrowed it for their masters in gender studies in underwater basket weaving degrees to everyone who didn't.

But there is some good news out there if you look hard enough for it:

Hero SAS sniper saves father and eight-year-old son from being beheaded by ISIS maniac

"ISIS militants had decreed that the little boy and his father must die after branding them "infidels" because they refused to denounce their faith. They were just seconds from death when the hero sniper intervened to stop the barbaric killing in the Syrian desert."

But you atheistic pajama boys shouldn't be feeling any more secure than the Jews or Christians, because believe it or not, the jihadists don't really like you any more than the other infidels:

Bangladesh blogger Niloy Neel hacked to death in Dhaka

A Bangladeshi blogger known for his atheist views has been hacked to death by a gang armed with machetes in the capital Dhaka, police say.

You guys might be farther down the list, but they will be coming for you too, sooner or later.

graylady said...

Re the mine disaster:

Where are the stories about little Malia Obama asking her daddy if he had "plugged the hole" yet?

Oh, yes, please, let's plug the hole WITH Obama, at least then he'd be good for something.

TMay said...

John the Econ Does the would -be beheader get 72 virgins?

My second post was a response to @Fred Ciampi's post and to Stilton Jarlsberg's reply.

Colby Muenster said...

Just makes me smile to think about what would transpire if some black activist tried to do the same thing with Billary's microphone.

Rod said...

Their mouths are always open; I'd like to see a legitimate speaker make them swallow the mike after grabbing it. That would be probably worth the charges in votes too.

PRY said...

Off-topic...when Trump's numbers tank, won't he get upset...and if he gets upset , won't he run third party and give it to the Demos? As slick and sly as he is, think he is actually working this election for his own benefit? After all, he is a business man!

robsan19 said...

Remember Carli Fiorina's comment about NOT getting a phone call from Slick Willie? Trump did and some think he is a plant to cause a third party and Billary's subsequent election.

VonZorch said...

@Fred Ciampi @Stilton
It was probably the 116th Armored Brigade, a National guard unit in Idaho and eastern Oregon, returning from a 2 week training deployment aka "summer camp", at the Fort Irwin Ca. armor training center.