Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Not Taking DeBate

In a shocking development which no one could have possibly predicted unless cold sober, the Hope n' Change office tower was attacked yesterday by hordes of foundation repair workers brandishing their really loud and annoying weapons of mass distraction.

Much as is the case with our once-great nation, Hope n' Change found that the very firmament under our feet needed shoring up - and we're taking highly kinetic (and darned expensive) action to get the job done. This involves at least a dozen huge holes around the periphery of our building, and another dozen holes being jackhammered through our interior concrete foundation - a difficult task made even dicier by the necessity of our hinting to the workmen that "over there might be better" without raising their suspicions that we've got bodies buried in some spots.

The entire process is expected to take up to 4 days, during which time we may be unable to post much if anything at all. After all, pneumatic jackhammers can be very hard on spinning hard drives  - a factoid that we're guessing Hillary Clinton wishes she'd known back when she was trying to nuke her emails.

The timing of all this work is, of course, frustratingly inconvenient. We've been looking forward to the first Democratic debate like kids waiting for Christmas morning, eagerly awaiting the chance to unwrap and savor each boneheaded gaffe delivered by the gibbering poltroons on the Left.

Rest assured, however, that we'll be watching the debate, taking whiskey-stained notes, and will post something if and when we can. But if not, don't worry - the Dems will still be supplying us with plenty of fresh, idiotic blather when we get back up to speed!


Okay, we actually did watch some of the Democratic debate - albeit not much. Astoundingly, even though the debate was already only two hours (instead of the three hours imposed on the GOP candidates in hopes of having their bladders burst on camera), not a single question was asked in the first 30 minutes.

Instead, the CNN hosts took turns introducing themselves and sucking up to the audience, after which the candidates wandered onto the stage, waved, and milled around until Sheryl "Just One Square of Toilet Tissue" Crow came onstage to sing the national anthem. A short time later, each candidate was allowed to make a meandering opening statement attacking the GOP, heterosexuals, billionaires and, we're pretty sure, the Illuminati.

Finally, Anderson Cooper actually started asking questions - and we'll give him credit for not making them total softballs. In fact, after each candidate had answered only that first question (regarding their electability despite being inconsistent on issues, a socialist, a party-changer, a total unknown, or a demonstrable failure in previous office), we felt pretty good about hitting the "off" button (albeit recording the rest for later) because none of them are remotely worthy of holding high office.

As much as we can't believe we're saying it, Joe Biden would have seemed like a superstar on that stage. Not that he's that good, but the rest of them are absolutely that bad. Frankly, if Biden doesn't announce his candidacy and go straight to the top of the polls this week, we'll be shocked.

We'd say more, but melting ice is watering down our much-needed debate night medicine. 


Mike aka Proof said...

I "missed" the first half hour, so didn't miss any of the questions. They were surprising less of the softball variety I was expecting. Still, it was a sorry showing of humanity.

Sergio said...

Scotch and water..I feel your pain, Stilt. Wish I could send $$ as a thanx for the brilliant H&C and Johnny O.

NemoMeImpuneLacessit said...

If your debate-night medicine isn't Lagavulin you aren't getting adequately numbnitized.

TrickyRicky said...

I'd rather stick needles in my eyes....bamboo under my, make that trim my beard with a blowtorch....pass a gross of kidney get the gist, I didn't watch the circus. That any of these crooks, cranks, and tools could even be suggested as candidates for POTUS makes me question the very foundation (sorry Stilt) of the rational universe.

Gang of One said...

I am really wondering what drugs Dana Milbank is on, or if the Clinton machine has dirt on him, for this absolutely sycophantic ass-licking of an "article".

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Mike aka Proof- My initial assessment after that first round of questioning was that Hillary was chirpy, well-prepared, and has a gift for burning through her allotted time without saying a damn thing.

Sanders is a one-note bombast machine with a hilarious accent that I do surprisingly well (it's a big favorite at parties), bitching about "one tenth of one percent who own 90 percent of everything."

O'Malley seemed serious to the point of exhibiting mild depression as he spoke about what a great job he did in creating the Baltimore of today. Yikes.

Chaffee, on the other hand, was in a manic "happy place" - grinning like the Cheshire Cat while bragging about being "a piece of granite" despite multiple jumps between parties. In fairness, I didn't pay attention to everything he was saying because I was distracted by how much he looks like MSNBC anchor Chris Matthews on chemotherapy.

Webb just seemed like a cipher to me, his words drowned out by the huge "doesn't have a prayer" sign over his head.

And damn - are these a bunch of the whitest people ever?! Nice shout out to "diversity" DNC.

@Sergio- I appreciate your altruistic instincts. In lieu of cash, just spread the word a little. Unless you're one of the Koch brothers, in which case you should definitely send cash.

@NemoMeImpuneLacessit- I had to look up Lagavulin, as it initially sounded like the dangly bit at the back of the throat. But nooOOOoooo, it's an award-winning single malt Scotch which I wish was spending time in the back of my throat.

Sadly, I was sipping "Clan MacGregor" from an industrial sized plastic bottle. It's Scotch only by dint of the number of drinkers it's kilt.

@TrickyRicky- I went into the debate with a good attitude because I didn't have to worry about anyone I like blowing a question. But my enthusiasm soon waned during that endless half hour "pre show" nonsense, and then I found my good mood turning to depression when faced with the reality of how lame the Dem candidates are, and the destruction they could continue to unleash on our country.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Gang of One- Holy Crap! Clinton couldn't "tower over" a smurf.

Colby Muenster said...

I thought about watching it, but there were some re-runs of “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers” on, so how could I pass THAT up? I heard a couple of soundbytes this morning though, on the way to work. I was sorely tempted to just turn around and immediately head for a bar, after considering the possibility of any of these goofballs becoming POTUS.

The one that really got me was when Cooper asked Shrillary to explain why she wouldn’t just be an Obammy third term. Her answer was basically that she has different genitalia! WTF? Sooo…. She is still on that “I’ll be the bestest president ever because I’m a woman” horsesh*t. Got news for you, you treasonous old hag. We’ve had a woman president for damn near 7 years already, so based on your own reasoning, you would be an extension of an O’Liar presidency.

As far as Webb…. I sort of enjoyed his response to the “who did you most enjoy making an enemy of” question, but he will now be totally shunned by his own, current party.

Good luck with the foundation repairs, Stilton! You could actually go to a bar with wifi to blog! MacAllan 18 if you can afford it! I can’t….

Geoff King said...

I did not watch the debate for several reasons:
1) I do not appreciate being lied to with no way to defend the truth.
2) I refuse to increase the viewership numbers of the Communist News Network.
3) I pay too much for food to waste it all in a violent upchuck.
4) I did not stock up on enough "coffee" to make it through the debacle.
5) I do not own a foam rubber "TV Brick".
And finally:
6) At present, I do not even own a TV set.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Colby Muenster- I always wanted to do a parody called "The Mighty Morphine Powder Rangers," but sloth and a fear of the legal system prevented it.

One of the evening's big lines (being repeated rhapsodically by liberals of my acquaintance) was Bernie Sanders saying "enough with the damn emails already!" which the Lefties see as a great show of Sanders' statesmanship. What other "damn" FBI investigations into government wrongdoing does "reformer" Sanders want dropped?

As far as MacAllan 18, it's funny that I feel like I can't afford it while simultaneously dropping thousands of dollars on having strangers knock holes in my floor.

@Geoff King- Bernie Sanders says that the reason you don't have a TV is because some rich bastard has a really, really big TV.

Kenneth Jenkins said...

I tried. I really did try to watch. But they were showing reruns of Doogie Houser M.D. (Neal Patrick Harris before he was gay). Figured I'd find out what happened today without all the gnashing of teeth from the MSM.

Bruce Bleu said...

When I saw the monkeys I thought this would be a story about democraps typical modus operandi, applying corporal punishment to them. So, OK... "tomato, tomahto".
Kenneth Jenkins,
I always thought the name of that show was "Dopey Hosebag M.D." Guess that's what happens from never watching it.

chef621 said...

I figured that I would hear more than I wanted to this next week about all of the bullcrap, so I did not waste my time watching it. I won't watch all of the reruns either. The biased newscrappers turn me off. I don't enjoy listening to lies or liars either. I quit listening to anything that Obama says a long time ago. Now I am feeling the same way about Hillary. Enough on that subject.
Stilt, you are wise doing the foundation now before the "Madrid" starts shaking things up. I know that you are not at "fault", but better safe than sorry.

Colby Muenster said...

@Gang of One,
I just clicked on your link. I fully expect "news" outlets like the WaPO to favor Clinton, but holy cow! This is nearly as sickening as Chris "Thrill down my leg" Matthews messing his pants over O'Liar.

And it still makes me shake my head in disbelief to look at the sad group of old fart cronies the Democrats are offering this time around. All old, all spewing old failed ideas, all very, very WHITE! If SloJoe actually pulls the trigger, he is even older and whiter. Geez... and the left always accuses the Republicans of not having any young, vibrant, MINORITY candidates.

John the Econ said...

I too missed the first half-hour, which fortunately meant I missed nothing.

So we got to see the best the Democrats have to offer; a bunch of aging, white northeastern elitists all trying to out-left each other. And these are the people who mock the GOP over "diversity".

The talking heads have been waiting, waiting, and waiting for Bernie to take a shot, any shot, at the elephant in the room, Clinton's ethics. Not only does Bernie not go for it, he actually does the opposite and steps in to change the subject! He really does believe in himself if he actually thinks he can beat Hillary based entirely upon his own shtick. I think Mark Steyn nailed the state of the Democratic stage this morning:

Lincoln Chafee, explaining why he used to be a Republican and is now a Democrat, dusted off the old line "I didn't leave the party, the party left me." Nobody asked Bernie Sanders why an "independent socialist" who's never been a Democrat is running in the Democrat primary, but he could just as easily have said: "I didn't join the party, the party joined me."

The one thing that Bernie had going for him is integrity. He's a crazy socialist stuck in the sixties who feels like he missed out on the heyday of Sweden and sounds like a broken record. But he does believe his own rhetoric, unlike most Democrats and the GOP squishies. And he's mostly right in his criticisms of big banks, Wall Street, and special interest ownership of DC. I had some degree of respect for him, until he decided to cover for Hillary. You didn't have to attack her; she's doing a good enough job of that on her own. But you certainly didn't have to bail her out either. Bad move, Bernie.

PRY said...

I totally understand the shunning of Webb last night...he had the nerve to actually exhibit a bit of common sense and understanding of all our me, as he was speaking, he was the only one I could relate to in the least. No wonder the way left doesn't care for him. He has a bit of a backbone and shred of decency!

Shelly said...

Like @TrickyRicky, I too did not watch and would rather have all my teeth pulled without anesthesia than watch it. I couldn't even watch the FOX NEWS! recap show. I have, however, read many articles and analyses this morning and am beginning to understand why Freak Show Wasserman-Schultz is limiting debates. After all, how many times do they need to say the same old thing they've been saying for decades? Talk about boring. I was amused but not surprised to read the press room erupted in cheers over Bernie's "enough with the emails already" speech. There's your independent, unbiased press for ya! A pox on all their houses.

Pete (Detroit) said...

My take -
Chaffee - I was Gov of a state the size of Detroit. Ok, probably the tri county, in terms of Pop, maybe (maybe) as big as SE Michigan to Lansing, physically (yes, RI is TINY)
I fixed all the state's issues by taxing the eff out of the rich people (lots) to dribble benefits on the destitute (few). If elected, I'll do the same for you. Just don't ask what side you're on, until I'm Elected.

O'malley - that city that rioted and burned b/c some guy died in police custody (actually, some time after)? yeah, I owned that. State I was Gov of has horrible unemployment / human rights stance, businesses fleeing nearly as much as CA for pretty much the same reasons (ergo, no jobs). Other than that, see what the other guy said - and by the way, I want your "legal" guns - not like were going to go after illegal guns, those crazy mo-fo's gonna busta CAP in you azz!

Webb - I have a history of building coalitions based on common ground, and actually trying to get shit DONE to address these effing Real Serious Issues. Is this effing mike even ON?

Saunders - (apols if the 'u' is extra - dunno / don't care - moving on) High there, your friendly neighborhood Communist here. At least I'm honest about it. (and to his credit, has NOT made a gorram fortune of being in congress / senate). You a young'un? you got nothing? c'mon in! We gonna make the (few) rich shits pay for the (many, many) po folks who don't gotta contribute NOTHING (until you gott ANY thing) .. Looks good NOW, don't it...?
Ask yourselves "why this has never EVER worked ANYWHERE yet...?"
But yeah, Bernie..

And then Hillary - when asked how her regime / >koff< / admin would be different than the current, well, "I'd go FURTHER"
never mind how the Community Reinvestment Act her husband hit the turbo on actually CAUSED the crash of 2008...
Never mind she's a pathological liar
never MIND that "I'm not running on a last name, I'm running on my accomplishments" (seriously? name two? Ok, name ONE... I might give you ONE, but can you name TWO?) Yeah, she pretty much claimed Barak 2.5...
Hillary took gas for presenting as Obama v3 (ok, Obama 2.56)
O'mally and Chaffee looked seriously small time
Webb and Bernie looked good, for who they are
Hillary looked slick, polished, not answering, and
Hillary - If you like that sort of thing....
My Take, For Whut It's Wurth, ...

graylady said...

I sat through it, bucket at the ready, and wished I hadn't. I could have done so many more important things.....the dishes.....the laundry.....slept. Dear Heavens, is this the best the Democrats have to offer? Repubs you better get your act together or this country is going to hell in a Democratic handbasket.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Good comments above. With the foundation work continuing in my house, I haven't been able to watch the full debate yet, though I'm picking up more bits and pieces. Which, incidentally, is all that will be left of the country if any of these idiots is elected.

I'm really tired of hearing about Hillary's "experience" offered up as a qualification, because in her case "experience" amounts solely to the amount of time with a given job title as opposed to any accomplishment whatsoever while in the job. Webb seems like the only genuinely honorable guy in the Democratic line-up. Makes me wonder if he's being eyed as Hil's VP choice to help balance the ticket.

By the way, there will be no new Hope n' Change on Friday owing to the foundation work being done around here. This has turned into one of those "home ownership from hell" situations, although things should be largely back to normal by Monday.

John the Econ said...

"I'm really tired of hearing about Hillary's "experience" offered up as a qualification..." because the results of her various "experiences" have mostly been either disasters, or somehow connected to enriching the Clintons or their foundation.

Her chief "experience" for the last 30 years has been staying out of jail.

Colby Muenster said...

I would highly recommend you try and rent the movie "The Money Pit" if there are still movie rental places nearby your neighborhood. It may make you feel better about the modifications going on at the home place. "How much longer? Two weeks!"

@John the Econ,
Yup! that's about it for her accomplishments, and it took huge amounts of dirt collecting for her to accomplish that. I listen to Hannity on my commute (I know, I know....), and he always challenges her supporters to name her accomplishments. Usually, the first thing they say is some caballo caca about how much she has helped women. Then Hannity will ask for a specific example, and get, "Well, you know she has done a lot of work for women's rights." And Hannity will again ask for a specific example. Then the interviewee will start attacking Donald Trump or the Koch brothers.

Near as I can tell, the only thing she has done for women is to show them how to tolerate a cheating husband.

American Cowboy said...

Hilarity's "experience"?

My dear father many times told me when I was growing up that, "one gains experience by DOING. However, at some point in time experience ceases. After that it is nothing other than repetition." I have come to understand the wisdom and truth of those words.

Hilarity quit gaining experience many, many years ago; all she has to show now for the past few decades of life is simply repetition of the same callous, unethical, and often illegal actions.