Wednesday, September 14, 2016

The Unkindest Cut

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, hillary, collapse, takes a village, health, pneumonia
Ironically, Mikey was only at the hospital to visit Johnny Optimism.
Hope n' Change doesn't take any pleasure in the thought of Hillary Clinton being sick - perhaps very seriously so. We do, however, experience unbridled delight whenever she's unable to keep her lies from being exposed - as is currently the case, thanks to the video that makes her look like a flopping flounder being flung into the hold of a fishing trawler.

Which is why we can't resist making cartoons like this one...

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, hillary, collapse, takes a village, health, pneumonia, chelsea, frankenstein 

Or this one...

cartoon, collapse, conservative, health, hillary, hope and change, hope n' change, humor, obama, obama jokes, pneumonia, political, stilton jarlsberg, takes a village,

We clearly don't know how dire Hillary's health really is, but we do know that even when the Clintons admit lying, they're still lying about the actual scope of what they're trying to conceal. So Hillary may very well have pneumonia, but we're guessing it's only the cherry on top of the big death's door sundae.

But in complete honesty, we hope she makes a full recovery and lives a long, long time. Otherwise, it would be kind of pointless to go to the trouble of eventually giving her a life sentence for her corruption, influence peddling, and mishandling of national secrets.

Oh, and one last thought...

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, hillary, collapse, takes a village, health

30 comments:

Mike aka Proof said...

"It takes a village..." Perfect!

Jon said...

Hilarious! I love it!
My favorite: Chelsea's apartment. "It's alive! It's alive!"

Unknown said...

Rigid or rag doll? Unsafe at any speed.

james daily said...

Do you really think it's a good idea for the evil one to go to Chelsea's apartment when Chelsea will be the beneficiary of the ill gotten donations? Not a way in heil the evil one would leave anything to herr husband. "Gee, I brought her a pillow and put in on her head for comfort because she wasn't breathing good." Now, what is that lawyer's number?

Granny said...

What the hell is going to happen if she plays the "Illery" card? Is that the same as the Monoply 'Get out of Jail free card?"
Drop out and get away with it? She may be a piece of work, bur she ain't stooopid.

TrickyRicky said...

Loved them all Stilton, not a ringer in the bunch. Air Force One is awesome. Somehow it just cries out for Slim Pickens to be astride it, whooping and hollering as it arcs out of the bomb bay somewhere over Siberia.

OpenTheDoor said...

Stilt, you have your Ichthyology reference off by a little bit.
Hippoglossus, a huge flat fish commonly called a halibut sounds much better than Atheresthes, a much smaller flounder.
Go and take a kid fishin'.

Emmentaler Limburger said...

I'm not as nice as you, Cousin Stilton. I don't care what's wrong with the hildebeast. I just wish it would hurry up.

Geoff King said...

“The most important quality in a president and commander in chief is steadiness — an absolute, rock solid steadiness,”
-Hillary Clinton- in a Tweet last week attacking Donald Trump.
It can be nothing but Karma that she should be publicly so unsteady on the anniversary of Benghazi.

Mike Porter said...


Emmentaler Limburger: Not to put too fine a point on this, as I will appear to be somewhat less nice than you, but I might add 'hurry up' in the sense that timing is everything... certainly before the election, but too late for any possibility that the progressive pustules can pop out a meaningful plan B. Of course, such a window is a narrow one - cut it too close and the Democan/Republicrat establishment may feel that they have a case for postponing the election. The devil is, after all, in the details.

Tucci said...


Late-stage Parkinson's disease. Undeniable clinical pathology in that typical "freeze" episode on 11 September (before both God and man in that Manhattan street). Almost certainly, during Hitlery's traumatic cerebral concussion in December 2012, that's what had produced a similar fall at home, with none of her handlers having been able to catch her when paroxysmal motor dysfunction dropped her like a load of bricks.

Reality surely ain't your friend, is it, progtards?

Fred Ciampi said...

Stilt, methinks that everything is fair game when it comes to the Clintons. Especially after what they have done; IE trail of bodies, etc. I can show no pity towards any of them and I do not believe they will show and pity towards each other. At least deep down inside. On the surface there will be wailing, chest beating, and all else that goes along with the loss of a loved one. Only in their case it will all be for show.

Rod said...

Similar to the rifle-scope cross-hairs and "loud bang" spoofs of flopping soccer players ... wouldn't a loud bang in the soundtrack of videos where Hillary short circuits or collapses be fun? She's surrounded by so many agents and aides now it would have to be a great fantasy shot. Cover the ass PC alibi: Not a hit, that's ridiculous. Just putting the lady out of her misery. That should be sufficient legal explanation for any Clintons.

AmyH said...

I dont believe for one second she has pneumonia. You dont go visit people especially little children if you have an illness like that. I dont care if it was my mother, father, aunt or inlaws; stay home, rest, recover and dont expose me or the children to pneumonia.

Anonymous said...

Geoff King, that is exactly what I told my husband. Karma may take a very long time to show up, but in this case it was point on and couldn't be more true. What about this body double stuff? Does anyone have an opinion on that? I really do not believe that was Hillary coming out of Chelsea's apt. building. She was too thin, nose is different and where is secret service? Nowhere to be found. No... not her. She may be sicker than we thought.

Judi King said...

Besides her mental state, there is definitely something physically wrong with HRC and her beloved husband, but I don't think we'll ever be told the truth until years after they check out. Then we'll get someone's earth shaking expose'.

Colby Muenster said...

"Abby somebody."
"Abby who?"

Sorry... the lightning cartoon brought it out! I can't help it.

@AmyH,

I beg to differ, but Shrillary could give a rat's ass if she spread the freaking bubonic plague, if it meant being Chief Potentate and Grand Wazoo of what she considers to be a serfdom. But you have a point; this ain't pneumonia. Yes, she may actually HAVE pneumonia, but she also has something far more serious, and she is hell bent to hide whatever it is from us peons. She'll play the sympathy card after her coronation.

John the Econ said...

One of the most popular TV shows during the first Clinton era was "Seinfeld". The media called it the "show about nothing". This really couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, Seinfeld was about "lying". Every episode followed a very simple formula: At the beginning, one of the characters would do something selfish and/or stupid, and then tell a lie to cover for their selfishness and/or stupidity. The rest of the episode would be about having to expand on the lie to keep it viable until the lie and its consequences became all encompassing and unsustainable, eventually consuming the character and all the other characters as well. The consequences of the lie are usually far worse than whatever the lie was intended to cover.

Of course, the typical Seinfeld script could have been considered a metaphor for the Clinton Administration. I always found it interesting that the media always stayed with the "show about nothing" narrative. Was it because the media is incapable of identifying and labeling lying, or because they related to the chaos of maintaining one? After the better part of a decade with the Clintons, I had to conclude that they could not tell.

The latest example of this phenomenon is Illary's health, and her consumption of or lack of water. On one hand, the media reports that Hillary's problem is that she's dehydrated because she doesn't drink enough water. But on the other hand, Hillary says that "I drink tons of water. Just as much water as I can possibly drink." Cue Seinfeld theme.

As I've long argued, video could emerge of Bill & Hillary clubbing baby harp seals to death for the mere amusement of doing so, and the New York Times would write op-eds about the personal sacrifice the Clinton were undertaking to do so for the betterment of us all. So it's no surprise that even after seeing video of her unconscious, limp body being tossed into a van, there are still 22% of Americans who still believe that Hillary's health is above average or excellent. They'll vote for her long after she's dead.

It's nice that they care:

New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman's office is investigating Donald Trump's charitable foundation "to make sure it's complying with the laws governing charities in New York," he said Tuesday.

I don't know much about Trump's foundation, but it's cute that it's going to get investigated while the Clinton Foundation will be continuing its transparent money laundering operation unabated, even after Hillary is elected.

John the Econ said...

And totally unrelated, but an example of why I can be fully forgiven for thinking that I've been teleported to some alternate bizarro universe:

Chelsea Manning will undergo gender transition surgery

In the sane universe I was raised in, a treason of the sort committed by the former Bradley Manning would have resulted in a swift and efficient execution. In the one I woke up to this morning, it was announced that the imprisoned "Chelsea Manning" (I step with today's correctness, CNN only refers to him has "Chelsea") will be given the sex-change operation he wants, performed and paid for by the army.

Got that folks? We've got veterans literally dying while waiting just to see a primary care doctor much less actual care, but apparently the army has the surplus resources available to indulge Mr. Manning's gender dysphoria with a very complex and expensive operation. To our struggling veterans, I'd suggest trying a hunger strike like Manning did, except I doubt you'd get the same results. It seems far more important to give the suicidal Mr. Manning what he wants to keep him alive than keeping you alive.

Anonymous said...

'Life's a B!tch, So Don't Vote for One'

George in Houtx said...

apparently, what we have here is a very specialized form of "pneumonia". it seems to not be contagious, yet it plays havoc on Hildabeast. it seems to attack the motor skills portion of her brain. other portions of her brain are , seemingly, un-affected. this is evidenced by her continued ability to lie to the voters.

all I can hope for right now is that Trump can pull off a landslide victory the likes of which only GOD could see coming. anything short of that will allow the Dems some wiggle room to steal the election.

Shelly said...

Stilton, you shame me with your benevolence toward that raging, dishonest, corrupt evil, malevolent person. I don't care one whit if she dies, but if she does, I hope it's painful. Wouldn't it be great if it happened on live TV during the debates? Maybe someone in the audience could surreptitiously shine a flashlight in her eyes and send her into full rigor. Death or complete paralysis might be the only things to keep her out of the White House. The sycophants in the MSM are in full-throated cover for her and the cries of sexism for even discussing her health are getting louder by the day.

Bruce Bleu said...

John the Econ,
Since the statistics for transgender suicide attempts are 41%, I say we just draw the desired genitalia on Bradlsea/Cheley Manning and see how long it takes for himher to try and off himherself. Curious that the REASON trannygendys NEED an operation is because they are traumatized by not being accepted for who they THINK they are, and then after getting EXACTLY what they say they want, 41% try and KILL themselves. You normal people out there... that is like saying "I have GOT to live in South Beach" and after closing on your house, "Now I need to kill myself"... "I MUST marry a supermodel", "now I have to kill myself"... "If I ONLY had a million dollars", then, "if I could ONLY kill myself". You SEE... It makes NO sense to get what you want, and then determine that the best course of action is to DIE! Kind of makes you think that the achieving of the desire WASN'T the solution to a problem, eh?

John the Econ said...

Where's George Patton when we really need him? Can you imagine what he'd say about today's army? "Sorry George, we know you need a new tank, but instead we need to spend that money on Chelsea Manning's Trans-op". He'd probably switch sides upon hearing that.

@Bruce Bleu, considering that Manning has already attempted suicide, I'd argue that his odds of trying again even after his "transition" is well above 41%. I suspect that his problems are not confined to the type of genitalia he has.

As America openly accepts previously unexplored levels of sanctioned narcissism combined with the de-facto outlawing of any notion of "shame", there are not longer any limits to what the rest of us would call "insanity".

So there should be no surprise that there will be those who opt for the "victim" route to get what they want. It's what is driving most of the politics this election cycle. It's a race to the bottom to be America's greatest victim to get what you want. Embarrassing. Sad. And not the country I grew up in.

Colby Muenster said...

Gaaaa!! There's this horrible smell in Greensboro today. I can't really describe it, but it's sort of an odd combination of burning sulfur, 1970's couch upholstery, decomposing flesh, and large amounts of cash.

@John the Econ,
I'm pretty sure I know what Patton would have done if he discovered the likes of Bradley Manning on the battlefield. Too bad they can't give he/she/it a penis and a vagina so he could go f*** himself.

Fred Ciampi said...

@Colby, I don't suppose that the demorats are holding a rally of some sort in Greensboro. I just hope that the smell doesn't drift too far north. I might have to move back to West Virginia....

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Good and hilarious remarks above! I've been chasing my tail with a number of things (none of them wildly important or interesting) and just haven't been able to respond, much as I'd like to. I WILL say that I'm completely against paying for Chelsea Manning's gender reassignment surgery, although in the spirit of compromise I guess I'd be okay with it as long as no anesthesia is used.

REM1875 said...

I am willing to do MANnings (?) gender reassignment with vice grips and a 1/2 drill w/o anesthesia, I believe the savings will be great enough to buy the local nearest VA (a 7 hr round trip) some really great art.

Doc you are pretty sick and twisted picking on sick old lady - and that's part of what I really like about you!!! Again great job!

( my thought exactly when I heard about her recovery in 2 hr at chelsea's was "Igor ready the capacitors, it looks like we have a lighting storm headed this way"
Next thought was "how did that get that many bricks of cocaine into the US?, must have broke their backs lugging those chest up stairs." Then I realized she has the full DEA and what ever DOJ assets she needs at her finger tips.
Must be nice.

John the Econ said...

I'd be careful with the words "chasing" and "tail" in this form, especially when Hillary Clinton doesn't want to talk about Colin Powell's emails. Interestingly but not surprisingly, the CNN story doesn't include Powell's comments about Bill's proclivity for "still dicking bimbos at home".

Popular Front said...

This whole Bradley Manning thing is pure bullshit. Why does the taxpayer have to stump up the dough to allow him to change sex, the snivelling little queer? And as he's doing 35(?) years in Leavenworth are they going to move him to a women's facility afterwards? I'd leave him in Leavenworth as a recreational plaything for the other inmates.

On a related note vis a vis traitors, I see Edward Snowden is snivelling about returning to the USA, as I knew he would eventually do. Not much fun living in Russia, now or ever. I just hope if he does return, there's a nice warm soundproof cell waiting for him, complete with electrodes and truncheons.