Monday, October 17, 2016

Joe Byte 'Em

Sometimes, a news story is so ripe that we can't make up our minds about what comedic direction to take - especially if it involves Joe Biden. So here's a Monday twofer!

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, wikileaks, biden, cyber, attack, russia
obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, wikileaks, biden, cyber, attack, russia

In case you're lucky enough not to know the convoluted tale that we're referring to, the Obama administration has accused Russia of hacking the email accounts of Hillary, her campaign manager, and Democrats in general and giving the information to Wikileaks in order to criminally influence our sacred national election by revealing the truth about how despicable everyone on the left is.

Hope n' Change isn't buying the whole "Russian plot" scenario for several reasons: it's of no obvious benefit to Putin, the theory is being advanced by congenital liars who are in full fanny-covering mode, and so far zero evidence of Russian involvement has been offered. Frankly, we think this is all an orchestrated con game intended to soften up Americans for government seizure of the election process in the name of "security."

But that hasn't stopped Joe Biden (apparently taking time off from his extra-special presidential "moonshot" assignment to cure cancer) from declaring that the U.S. is about to engage in a full-blown cyber attack on Russia. Although the odds of our pulling off a sneak cyber attack just got a helluva lot worse thanks to the motor-mouthed veep.

The idea of Old Blank Joe being anywhere near cyber warfare is terrifying - but no more so than the latest brainstorm from Donald Trump...

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, trump, hillary, debate, drug test
Grab 'em by the pissy.
On Saturday, Trump said "(Hillary and I) should take a drug test prior (to the final debate), because I don't know what's going on with her. At the beginning of her last debate she was all pumped up at the beginning and at the end she was like, 'Oh, take me down.' "

Trust us, Donald - that describes a lot of us who saw that debate. 

Meanwhile, despite some allegations from Hillary's surrogates that Trump's dramatic sniffing and snorting in previous debates could suggest either cocaine use or a singularly aggressive booger, no general call has been issued from Hillary's camp for her opponent to be tested for performance enhancing drugs. Perhaps because, while debating, he has yet to demonstrate anything remotely like enhanced performance.


John the Econ said...

And remember, Joe is supposedly the "adult" in the Democratic party.

As for "performance enhancing drugs", it would be interesting to know what kind of drugs these two are on. It's scary to imagine what they'd be like without them.

An aside: Yesterday's Pearls Before Swine perfectly illustrated why we will never again see a Reagan-like President in our lifetimes.

Nothing has really changed from over a year ago, when I said that Hillary will be our next President, simple because well over 51% of the country now receives a check, subsidy, or other favor from the Federal government. Hillary was and is the only candidate that guarantees that little will change about that, except maybe she'll give out even more. The GOP didn't die this year. It really died almost two decades ago when the GOP gave up on its Reagan legacy, squishy GWB was elected, and 911 gave the GOP the excuse to go along with the Democrats on a massive expansion of government. I see no reason why that trend will change until it all becomes unsustainable and collapses.

So enjoy your comfortable life while you can.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- "Enjoy your comfortable life while you can," you say, and they're words I've already taken to heart. I have stepped up my personal planning efforts to sustain my family as the sinking ship America blub-blub-blubs beneath the briny waves and the band plays "Nearer My (Deity of Choice or Secular Object of Significance) To Thee."

Frankly, I'm expecting to be only one of many who feels that they'll be living in occupied territory, ruled by a hostile power. I will remain scrupulously legal in all my doings to avoid their attentions, but I will do nothing whatsoever to aid, support, or respect those who have seized power (or the myriad idiots who gave them that power).

And if Hillary finally gets the brass ring, I wouldn't be surprised to hear renewed calls for Texas to secede from the union. In part, because I'll be on my front lawn with a bullhorn making those calls.

james daily said...

John and Stilt: Ya'll (Tx word) make a good point. To really destroy this nation, the Marxis decimated the middle class. Before the last president, the middle class sustained this nation, now, as more and more get on the handout trail, the middle class is shrinking. The middle class basically was composed of working folks, regardless of the amount of take home pay, just gainfully employed. Now, there are more on government welfare than employed. It makes no sense whatsoever to destroy the producers in this country because it is hard to do business with someone with no money. All the free money is borrowed and I have no idea why any country would loan this country a dime since there is absolutely not way of paying it back, it's gone.
I worry about my two sons and grandchildren that will never truly enjoy this country as we have. Especially the grandchildren. I have encouraged them to keep their passports current as we are in this country for the very reasons that what this country is becoming. I, again, have no idea where they may immigrate to have the benefits we use to enjoy. Lastly, the VP is one of the most ignorant elected officials I have ever seen and that includes Spiro Agnew. My drugs are wearing off.

Geoff King said...

I really don't give a damn who is behind WikiLeaks illegally exposing Clinton's and the DNC's illegalities.
However, recently leaked photos of Putin show him actually grabbing a pussy. Coincidence?

REM1875 said...

And to think Joe might be the smartest demonRat we are dealing with.

Sortahwitte said...

Stilt. When Texas goes, would you please take Oklahoma with you? I promise you can have all the water you need. And you can have your armadillos and fire ants back.

Stan da Man said...

"Fermented" apple juice - guess they DID get 'bombed'...
How Hillary can even SAY "ciber security" w/o coughing up a lung is astounding.
Stilt, I remember when "congenital liars" was used to describe both of them 20 years ago - and it has always seemed to me to be insulting to their parents... and I have NO idea if they had half the issues w/ the truth that these two do.
Pathological, absolutely. Congenital? not so sure..
But hey, that's just me
And yes, would LOVE to see the coctail of meds they have her on to be seen in public...

Fred Ciampi said...

When the SHTF, and it surly will if The Hildabeast gets into the White House, one of two things will certainly happen; the country WILL collapse as stated above, or we will have a nice civil war. Of course there's always the chance of an EMP, invasion from within (DHS, BLM, FBI, DAT, DIS, or the many alphabet agencies that 0'bummer has militarized), or invasion from without (Russia, China, Canada, or Mexico). Oh wait, the one from Mexico has already been ongoing for about 8 years now. In fact, even if The Donald wins the S may still HTF unless he can pull some mighty big rabbits out of his mighty big hat. I might need to fabricate another moonshine still.......

American Cowboy said...

@Stilt said, "I will remain scrupulously legal in all my doings to avoid their attentions, but I will do nothing whatsoever to aid, support, or respect those who have seized power (or the myriad idiots who gave them that power)."

That very well sums up my actions also. It is "funny" though how often that sentiment will get one accused of, "having something to hide" or being a "criminal who hates the law".

I guess a person shouldn't be surprised at that, given the way the liberal/democrat bunch of fools give willful lawbreakers a pass.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@James Daily- I believe that some countries continue to loan us money because they already hold so much of our debt; if we default, then they've got a crisis on their hands. So we continue to borrow and they continue to loan, all hoping that the inevitable crash will happen on someone else's watch.

@Geoff King- This certainly proves something. I'm just not sure what.

@REM1875- I don't know about the "smartest," but I actually believe old Joe is less corrupt and guileful than his compatriots.

@Sortahwitte- Hey, "Texoma" is a fine name for a state! And don't worry, we'll be exporting all of the fire ants to other states.

@Stan da Man- In the face of all the wikileaks stuff, and Hillary's myriad felonies related to email security, I'm AMAZED that any news person can let her speak about being "serious on cybersecurity" without having a conniption fit.

And Trump may actually have a point; I'll bet Hillary is pumped full of a drug combo prior to the debates, if only to keep her from having tremors or a seizure on national TV.

@Fred Ciampi- Building another moonshine still seems like a great idea. When bartering becomes the new economy, a lot of people will be needing your product. Like me, for instance.

@American Cowboy- I don't have anything to hide under current law, but that may change. For instance, if Hillary suddenly nationalizes private retirement accounts and pays people a "living allowance" (in lieu of Social Security) from their own seized savings, I might like having some other assets tucked away in ways that are entirely legal under current law.

Similarly, I have no intention of participating in single-payer healthcare, and will continue to exploit my evil class privilege by going to my back alley doctors and specialists and paying them actual cash for their expert services.

Sodagrrl said...

I only laugh when it hurts.

Pete (Detroit) said...

For YEARS I have been amused by the "the end is near - buy gold and silver!" ads on the radio - When I want to stock up on precious metals, it's brass and lead, and they come pre-portioned in easy to share packages!
Either hand to hand, as a sub for cash (and yes, I've seen stuff bought and sold for ammo, when you could NOT find ANY) or one at a time, at speed, as needed. (For FOOD - Please, people!)
Seriously, what are you gooing to DO w/ gold and silver? anyone taking it will be taking a huge risk that it will ever be worth ANY thing in the future...

John the Econ said...

I live in a state where taking any anti-gun position is certain political death, even by Democrats. (Most of our Democrats would be considered far-right extremists by northeastern standards) So I wouldn't be surprised if we'd be joining Texas with most of the other "flyover" states.

@James Daily, I worry about the kids too, and not in the typical leftist "we have to do this for the children" phony virtue signaling way. All I can suggest for them is becoming proficient in "hard skills"; the kind of knowledge that actually makes things happen versus just pushing buttons or pixels. When the "real" recession hits, people will be wanting food & power. People without the hard skills to make those things happen will quickly be at an disadvantage. You think a major in "community organizing" is useless now? Just wait.

As to why they still loan us money: Two reasons, one of which @Stilton covered. They can't afford the ride to end any more than we can afford for it to keep going. And basically, most of them are basically already bankrupt themselves, and have no where better to put their phony currency.

@Geoff King, have you heard this?:


LOL! That's right folks. The same FBI that won't indict Hillary will come after you for reading the DNC's leaked e-mail.

And as @Pete (Detroit) said, your bars of gold will be hard to exchange should the worst happen. Just like cigarettes in wartime, measured quantities of lead will make a far more efficient currency. It's immediately useful, something nearly everyone will want, and therefor valuable.

Geoff King said...

I agree @Pete & John. If and when SHTF, precious metals will be practically worthless. Offer a starving man his choice between a bar of gold or a loaf of bread and guess which one he will choose?

txGreg said...

So glad to hear others who think the same way I do when I hear those "invest in precious metals" commercials. Sure, there are advantages to those items in certain situations, but when it's time to grab the bug out bag, gold and silver will NOT be in mine.

Judi King said...

My passport expires in Jan. but I will renew it in Nov. or Dec.... just in case. Where to escape to, I don't know. I was watching a commentary this AM and learned two new (new to me but old) concepts. "Useful idiots" and "the fifth column" Both seem to apply to what's happening to this country. Useful idiots are worse than the sheeple who follow them and they have been around since the 50's or 60's, that I know of. The fifth column can be seen as the illegal immigrants from the south AND the muslim "refugees" coming in from the east. Both will be in place to help the useful idiots undermine and or take over what's left of America. This is happening before our eyes and voting is no longer an option of deterrence.

WindRider said...

Scott Adams explains the Dem's "The Russians Did It" ploy:

Anonymous said...

We have one ounce of Alaskan placer gold dust panned for a hobby in mid 1970' in a small display bottle; our gold wedding rings; and big money invested in a few gold molar crowns. Also a big bone-yard of scrap metal, old iron, pipe, valves fittings, steel shape cut-offs, and fencing behind the welding shop. Also boxes of scrap copper wire and aluminum for eventual salvage sale. Beyond that I'm with Pete (Detroit) and have gone with a nice inventory of lead & brass in personal, convenient, very rapid delivery packaging.

Anonymous said...

Precious metals are for after the SHTF and things have "normalized" again. Basically it will allow you to buy into whatever currency is created after the fall and people start being civilized again.

But during the SHTF scenario, lead and brass is the most precious metal. Food and clean drinking water will be equally important along with a way to cook said food. Not to be a tin foil hat nutter but there is a write on a different firearms website that has a lot of different articles about "prepping".

I have no idea why it is considered "prepping" but car/life/health insurance is just called insurance...

Ron said...

Neighbors will be killing neighbors for canned goods, etc.

james daily said...

No idea how many of you are familiar with the Weimar Republic where hyperinflation just devastated that modern country. That should be something you should be familiar. When you see inflation, the cruelest tax of all, on the horizon, then one should have a plan and a couple of backup plans. These folks on the government dole will have a sad comeuppance when it starts. All the pieces are in place for this.
Accept my apology for being off topic but so far, I have seen or heard nothing on this. That may be how this benevolent government may pay their debt.

Rod said...

It's afternoon on the big big big final debate day. She's been kept out of sight for a while; but shouldn't her handlers be unplugging & rolling her out again?

All I need to know to vote this one are these five things: U.S. Supreme Court in the near future... Entrenched & inept governance vs successful private industry... Habitually crooked vs. right-minded but egoist bore... Republican ticket (in name) vs lawless Democrats... Kaine vs Pence on the sideline... Melania vs. Bill again.

Easiest choice ever.