Friday, November 11, 2016

The Wizard of Beating The Odds

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Actually, a Senate fell on her too.
The twister has blown through, the election is over, the Wicked Witch of the West Wing has been vanquished, and Donald Trump has not only opened the door to a strange (not to mention Technicolor) new world, but he also stands ready to pull back the curtain which has concealed the many manipulations and misdeeds of a fraudulent, out-of-control, anti-American government whose only real wizardry has been to buy favor by giving things away when they get caught ("By the power vested in me, I now declare that every millenial will get a free college degree in Thinkology!")

There may well have never been an uglier and more contentious election. But now, in the great American tradition, it is time for healing. In complete seriousness, Hope n' Change believes the moment has come for outreach, empathy, unification, and making peace with those with whom we've had deep and vocal political disagreements.

We're only talking about people on the Right, of course. We need to unify with each other. As far as the Left goes, well, they can take a flying fornicatory fling at a rolling donut. Seriously, every time we see a weeping liberal on television, we can't stop our convulsive laughter. Their pain and grief is like a delicious, refreshing sorbet which we're enjoying from an exquisite silver dessert spoon.

Please, sir, may we have some more?

Mind you, our attitude would make us cruel and insensitive if those panicking on the Left were in real jeopardy - but they're not. The Trump Gestapo will not be beating down doors to grab Hispanics. Women will not be forced to leave the workplace or be required to submit to government pussy grabbing (except during TSA searches and elevator rides with Bill Clinton).

Neither will women lose their freedom to abort the next generation of women (and men) if it suits their whim. And the KKK won't receive government funds to raise hell and burn things down, unlike many "activist" liberal groups which enjoyed such taxpayer largesse during the soon-to-be-buried Obama years.

The reality is that the snowflakes on the Left aren't actually afraid of Donald Trump, the man (although they believe themselves to be) - they're terrified of the gigantic mythological monster which the media - their media - has created out of whole cloth.  The greatest threat Donald Trump actually presents to millenials is that he may succeed in creating jobs for them. And work is a lot less fun than endlessly whining, marching in the streets, and burning American flags for no particular reason.

Of course, we'll concede that it is frightening to hear a presidential candidate call for the creation of a "National Civilian Security Force" to conduct (ahem) special policing within our borders. A new force as large and well-funded as the military. Fortunately, that isn't anything Trump called for - it was Barack Obama in 2008.

And how should LGBT Americans feel about a candidate who opposed Gay marriage rights and has close ties - personal and financial - to those who persecute and even murder homosexuals? That's definitely scary, and yet another reason that we're glad the candidate in question, Hillary Clinton, lost to a man who got a standing ovation at the GOP convention for proclaiming his unconditional support of LGBT rights.

In the interest of complete honesty, Hope n' Change concedes that we haven't been big fans of Trump in the past. But what he's accomplished is nothing short of a miracle, and he's now going to be heading a team which will presumably include some of the best minds in America for America. We honestly believe that he's going to try his best - however good that may prove to be - for people of every race, creed, color, religion, and sexual orientation in America.

For the first time in years, Hope n' Change really does have Hope. And we're pretty damn sure that we're about to see real Change.

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Don't use your wipers - pantsuits leave streaks.


If you get the opportunity to say "thank you" in person, then do so. If not, then do it in your heart. Hope n' Change is grateful, now and always, to America's military veterans. We owe you a debt which can never be repaid.



Dr. Strangelove said...

Thank you to all who served!

Love the Buckley cartoon, very appropriate. I happen to be acquainted with a guy who knew both Buckley and Rush Pimptrump. His view is that Bill would not be quite as approving of "America's Anchorman" these days.

M. Mitchell Marmel said...

A-fragginn'-MEN. On both counts.

God bless our veterans AND America... :D

Judi King said...

Great comments. I hope all those who threatened to leave the US, if Trump won, do so and fast.
Thanks to all Veterans! Got my flag out already.

Geoff King said...

Thank you vets! Hopefully Trump will take all the money that Ă˜blamo illegally gave to Syrian "refugees" and use it for homeless veterans.

Fish Out of Water said...

One thing I hope the President-elect does before he assumes office: get a better haircut

Fred Ciampi said...

I am besides myself with fury over the video of the black thugs beating an old man simply because he voted for Trump. In my 74 years I have never been witness to such savagery in my country.

Rod said...

The election was successful. Now: On to even better tasks, and the new leaders-elect still need our support. My yard signs will stay up a while longer until the whining, excuse- making and hissy-fitting cools down.

It also seems the media campaign is already doing the advance work while also trying to reduce backlash if/when Obama issues pardons well in advance of any legal actions. He can't have his role come to full light. With help from a teleprompter and a script someone else wrote... professional & practiced liars & deceivers can act well enough to earn an Academy Award for a good speech or a nice-nice meeting but they don't change their stripes this easily or quickly. Never mind Hillary now but one wonders what Podesta, Soros, etal are doing now? Keep it up Wikileaks, or whoever you are.

Unknown said...

For all those marching, protesting, burning, my comment is:
Actually it is the Loony-Left, Un-Americans rioting and burning their "Safe Places". This shows what years of marxist, communist, socialist indoctrination of mushy minds does! Good luck to them all. It is a good thing that we patriot veterans gave our time and lives to allow these creeps to voice their views. Not one of the @$$HOLES has done a single constructive thing to EARN the right to complain!

I started my personal protest on 9 Nov 2012 when Ovomit was reelected in spite of Benghazi and the four dead Americans. As a vet (USAF 1961-1969) I felt it was my DUTY to peacefully protest the travesty that had been committed by the electorate. I inverted my American flag to the Distress Position, where it remained until 9 Nov 2016. I repositioned the flag in its proper proud position where it will stay for the next four years. God bless OUR America!

Anonymous said...

Here's wishing that ALL Americans now have HOPE for a better future and that Trump will CHANGE their minds because of the wise decisions he will make for our country.

Bruce Bleu said...

Stilton, I just figured out what the "f-f-f" of the Who's "My Generation" was about... "flying fornicatory fling fade away"! Thanks for clearing that up f-f-f-for me.

Pete (Detroit) said...

Bruce, I think the first time I ran across it was in "Slaughterhouse 5"
Later paraphrased to "I'd like to issue to you an invitation to acrobatic, avionic, auto-erotic event involving a rolling donut and a gravel driveway"

Obviously, too clumsy to use often.

I have a friend who is a black man, and due to press coverage of police shootings and BLM, is deathly frightened of cops.
Due to the real-if-over-hyped increased incidence of general d-baggery by the racists and bigots who seem to feel that it's suddenly cool to act out, he's also afraid of situations where there's NO cops.
That is some kind of tough head space, and I take NO pleasure in it.

American Cowboy said...

Veterans Day always has had special meaning to me, and even more so now that I cannot say "Thank You" personally to my dear father any longer. The fact that his time in the military was not completely wasted as I am afraid it would have been had the pantsuit liar been elected makes it more poignant today.

To all you veterans, and those who supported your work, I say THANK YOU!

Thad said...


---News Update from Canada---

The flood of Trump-fearing American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week. The Republican presidential campaign is prompting an exodus among left-leaning Americans who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, pay taxes, and live according to the Constitution.

Canadian border residents say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, liberal arts majors, global-warming activists, and "green" energy proponents crossing their fields at night.

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. "He was cold, exhausted and hungry, and begged me for a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields, but they just stuck their fingers in their ears and kept coming. Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals just south of the border, pack them into electric cars, and drive them across the border, where they are simply left to fend for themselves after the battery dies.

"A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an Alberta border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single bottle of Perrier water, or any gemelli with shrimp and arugula. All they had was a nice little Napa Valley cabernet and some kale chips. When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing that they fear persecution from Trump high-hairers.

Rumors are circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer, study the Constitution, and find jobs that actually contribute to the economy.

In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in blue-hair wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s.

"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage, are buying up all the Barbra Streisand CD's, and are overloading the internet while downloading jazzercise apps to their cell phones.

"I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "After all, how many art-history majors does one country need?

John the Econ said...

Healing? Notice the snowflakes at the universities and the agitators in the street? I thought it was the Trump people who were supposed to not accept the outcome of the election. Clearly, these idiots haven't yet figured out that it's exactly this sort of nonsense that got Trump elected in the first place.

The Trump Gestapo: Another thing the left has yet to learn is that the Nazi inferences to every single Republican candidate have not only worn thin, they're now counterproductive. Remember, practically every invective (sexist, racist, homophobic, xenophobic, etc) that was endlessly repeated against Trump were also thrown at Romney as well, possibly the most milquetoast candidate the GOP ever fielded. Trump's clear victory demonstrates that the usual hate-sling isn't going to work anymore. They've been crying wolf way too long.

As for the snowflakes, they may actually learn to love capitalism if they ever actually get an opportunity to participate in it. As you say @Stilton, it's easy to see why they're so scared of it, since the fear mongering that has been endlessly shoveled at them via the education establishment and the media for their entire lives makes it difficult for them to see anything else.

Lately, I've come to realize that I was even luckier than I realized. I graduated high school just as Carter's "malaise" was just coming to an end, and Reagan's "Morning in America" had firmly taken hold. For the first time in a very long time, getting a job was little more difficult than falling off a curb. Opportunity was everywhere. The "millennials" have never experienced anything like that. All they know is malaise, mediocrity and fear. I hope this changes soon.

And I also hope that we don't find that we just elected a Democrat instead of a Republican. Only time will tell.

AmyH said...

Love it!

Noor al Haqiqa said...

Thanks, once again, for hitting the nail on the head with the liberals ~ honestly, I never knew that a "revenge" I never actively sought could possibly taste so delicious!Such a guilty pleasure watching them squirm; not so much watching the riots paid for by Soros.

I just found out, before coming to your page, that when the Obamas met the Trumps, the Obamas declined to have the traditional photo op of the two couples together! Despite his nice words, Obama has already declared "game on" and proven their contempt of the Trumps. I cannot imagine Michael, er, Michelle, relished the idea of being in the same room as the wife of the man she spoke so virulently against. The body language of both Obamas is telling, as if they cannot get far enough away fast enough.

I predicted a Trump landslide from the getgo. Oh, I am Canadian btw but... right away I recognized THIS as the opportunity we have been seeking for many many years. Last Christmas, both the Pope and the Queen, scuzzbuckets both, said that 2015 was the last Christmas. That was a real damper to be honest. Trump has been, IMHO, the wind that world politics needs.

Just by being elected he has put a strong damper on that WW3 Clinton represented. Putin respects him. Big one there.

Thad, thank you for warning me about what to look for. My non political daughters, latte loving vegans both, accuse me of "gloating" when I said I was happy about the results of the election. They are successful, hard working women, but this just cracked me up. "You aren't the same woman who raised us!" I refuse to engage ~ it will pass. We have babies n stuff to discuss.

I watched Oprah introduce Obama as the future pres back in the day. My initial impression was accurate: flat as a sheet of paper, an empty suit waiting to be filled with crap. He seemed vapid and despite his voice, weak. I did not like him too much. I watched the extremely flawed Trump announce his candidacy and was swept away by this vigor and enthusiasm and... his sense of destiny. He knew he was the man for the job and well, so far, so good. He never faltered from that image. I doubt he will now and, if he does, only his wife would know.

BTW Next to Trump's winning was hearing Al Sharpton announce he has no intention of moving up to Canada. Most of them won't come up here. Those stars... pfffft. We have too many libtards up here already. Look at our Trusty Justy Turdeau! And so many liberals are still stuck in their parents' basements....

And yes... thank you to all the men and women who have fought for us. The American people have voted for the candidate who prefers dialogue to war. Good on you. Let us hope he manages to pull it off.

AmyH said...

This is a proud day for me in many ways. 1 Veteran's Day. My dad, uncle, estranged brother (still in the Army) and late grandfather served. 2. This is my oldest son's birthday. Still cant believe I have a 22 year old. 3. For the first time in 8 years, the future looks bright. I hope he can get many, many things done that he outlined in his 1st 100 days. He mentioned the one thing I have said repeatedly; allow over the border purchasing of policies. When they have to compete for your $$ they will make the prices and policies enticing. Right now, they have us and our businesses by the short and curlies. They can say "we allow xx visits to xxx doctor" but then deny payment because their "experts" believe you didnt need that visit. They have gotten too big for their britches. We havent recieved the paperwork for SO's insurance for '17 but the rumor is that its going up. Great. I would love to marry him but to have a spouse on the policy is outrageous. The price triples. Its doable now with just him and our daughter. Me? I would triple the price. Ridiculous.
Dont let me/us down Trump! Btw, I didnt hold my nose voting for him. I pressed that button with pride.

Judi King said...

All I could picture when I heard that michael/michelle was meeting with Melania was "beauty and the beast".

Stan da Man said...

Amy H, I held my nose, and still am
I'm not ashamed that I voted for him, but I'm hardly proud.
I'm glad of the result, but a rather unpleasant side effect is that lots of bigots of all flavors are feeling emboldened to act out as they have not in years.
It's now our job to remind them that no, public opinion has NOT changed, their disgusting beliefs are STILL disgusting, their illegal activity is still illegal, and they need to know that crap out.
Pence is on record as being 'for' "conversion therapy" - where you can beat (or electrocute) the gay out of your kids.
People have heard Trump speak about Mexicans or Muslims and now seem to feel it's open season

There is a movement starting, about prominently wearing a safety pin, declaring yourself an advocate for the marginalized.
People are adding silhouettes of pins to facebook profiles
I plan to get a few to wear on my jackets, etc.

but OMFG, it's gonna be a big ass Kilt pin, not something that looks like it would be used to secure a diaper...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Readers- Great remarks above, and special recognition should be given to all the veterans and their families.

Just to be clear, when my tongue isn't in cheek, I want the entirety of our country to heal and come together. I don't expect it, but I want it. Even though I disliked Obama in 2008, I gave him the benefit of the doubt when he became president and rooted for him to do good...until it became clear it wasn't his intent. It would be nice if those on the Left could do the same.

And speaking of the Left, I've just posted a "Lefty Lucy" cartoon on today's page.

Continuing with the topic of youthful viewpoints, I'd like to share something written by Daughter Jarlsberg (a chip off the old block of cheese) about what she's seeing out there...

I'm tired of all of these people on my facebook feed saying that Trump won because there are more hateful, racist misogynists in the world than they thought. Or the whole "white-lash" thing. It's so much more complex than that.

These people turning the Trump voters into the 'evil other' are basically just refusing to look at the fact that many people voted for Trump because they couldn't stomach Hillary and her blatant corruption. God, I saw another headline from some well respected news source saying that America just wasn't ready for a female president. No, we weren't ready for a snarling crocodile in women's clothing (pantsuits).

I was hoping the surprise election would lead to some introspection from the media and Trump nay-sayers, but I feel like the country is more divided than ever now, and the hate and labeling is coming from the liberal side (although, since it's a new paradigm, liberal isn't really the term, but I'm using it as a place-holder until I think of something more accurate).

I'm just mad that a lot of people are demonizing other people. I'm showing my bias but I feel like liberal vitriol is more acidic than conservatives, maybe because the media doesn't treat them like a joke. I think the media is trying to further the wedge between America, and the people who are labeling Trump supporters as hateful are playing right into their hands.

I didn't vote for Trump but this blistering temper tantrum and hate spewing from the other side is really making me feel protective of those who did vote for him.

james daily said...

Thanks vets, you did good. It seems a bit disingenuous that not one democrat has asked these rioters to knock it off. Not one has said, we lost, get on with your life. The democrats got an ash whooping they will not soon forget, losing nationally, states, local elections. Trump's coattails may have been the biggest ever. I still have no idea why they would put up the most flawed candidate ever and had to cheat their own to do that. If those nitwits think most of the country are crooks, thieves, liars as they are, they best think again. If they think signing petitions, destroying property, killing cops is the way to achieve their ends, they need to rethink that. They are about really piss off very large group of Americans that have had military training and will put it to good use, training others and using what they know to get these morons to stop this crap, well at least the ones not sent into the great beyond.

Bruce Bleu said...

I had no idea of the exodus of illegals from the US to Canada, but I would caution you about terminology in your message so it isn't discredited by the media. Those helping liberals escape into the Great White North are NOT "smugglers", but rather "travel agents", (not "coyotes", but "Endangered Eastern Canadian Wolverines", if you will).
Thank you for letting me address this issue.

Joseph ET said...

Many liberals claim that Trump won only because too many white folks voted for him. Therefore, all future elections will be affirmative action elections. All non-whites will get two votes each.

Judi King said...

To all you Canadians who don't want the whiny, spoiled, useful idiots invading your country because they didn't get their way.......I'm sorry. Most of us don't want them in the US either.

Jon said...

It's truly unnerving to see how hysterical and unhinged the Hillary supporters are - and it's even more frightening to know that the biased media is solely responsible for whipping them into such a frenzy. I have gay friends who actually think their rights will be forfeited and they will be forced to wear Pink Triangles.

Trump isn't perfect, but he's a helluva lot better than the REAL MONSTER - Hillary.

Colby Muenster said...

First, my eternal gratitude to all of you vets (except Booger Bergdahl) for putting your butts on the line on my behalf, so I have the freedom to write this, and especially the freedom to vote against tyranny and socialism! I was beginning to despair that it was too late to stop the inmates from running the asylum, but it may have happened.

Granted, Trump is a yuuuge unknown, but the other option was unthinkable.

Awesome posts today, everyone! And special kudos to Thad reporting on the smuggl... I mean travel agents. Sadly, most likely, all the moonbats who got our hopes up by promising to move away will renege and stay in droves. Although Lena Dumb-ham is swearing she is going through with it. She is going to move aaaaaaall the way to Vancouver and, as she says, "operate from there." Translation: she will buy a house in Vancouver, but still tarnish US soil with her nasty presence, and continue spouting her liberal nonsense that has no basis in reality.

Speaking of reality, how do you like it, millennials and Clinton lap dogs? Now you know how us normal people (you know... people who support themselves) felt when O'Liar was elected TWICE. But you know what? We did not riot in the streets and threaten all sorts of violence like you are. We did not destroy other people's property, and we definitely did not get paid to do these childish things by the likes of George Soros. We sucked it up and went on with our lives, hoping for this day when sanity and adults prevail.

@John the Econ,
I pray you are right about the snowflakes getting a taste of how things could be if everybody pulled their weight. They have had this socialist BS pounded into their heads their whole lives by the press, the gubmint, and their teachers and professors. It will take many years. I was once like them, and I didn't awake until my 40's. If we can really stem the tide of illegals (i.e. Democrats) invading our borders, we may have a chance to keep the Clinton's and Obama's of the country at bay just long enough.

Fred Ciampi said...

Oh my God, I just read somewhere that Chelsea Hubbe..... oops, I Mean Clinton might run for congress sometimes in the future........... Now I need moonshine......

Dan said...

I was thinking about what the Clinton Crime Family would do now. They'll need to do something to keep their cash flow. Also, they'll need to do something to keep some folks who "donated" to their foundation keep from slitting Clinton throats.

Given Soros' age (around mid-80s, IIRC), and knowing what a well-oiled in-place organization the Clintons have, I wouldn't be surprised if they nudged out Soros' heirs and took over the business. It would be right down their alley.

@Thad -- well written. Very good. Regarding Canada -- I lived there for a couple years on a US Air base when I was in high school. Good people. Even Newfies. Even the one Quebecker I knew.
Then they let in all our draft dodgers.
And now they have another Trudeau for PM.
I say they can have all the lefty Americans that want to leave the US. I just wish they'd have their US passports shredded at the border.

gwhdad in houtx said...

I have noted all the people who are thanking veterans for their service. I'm one veteran who would like to thank his country for allowing me to serve. Viet Nam was a long time ago, but some things you just don't forget!!

Boligat said...

@Thad: Priceless. Best laugh I've had all week. Well, your post and Steven Hayward's latest at Powerline.

Check it out to see a real picture of Trump grabbing a pussy!

Still, Thad, VERY well done. So many sly references. Thumbs up!