Back when George W. Bush was President of the United States, the mainstream media not only claimed that he was personally responsible for rising gasoline prices (which would ruin the lives of working Americans), they also suggested that he was sneaking to people's homes at night to deflate their cars' tires and take a leak in their windshield fluid reservoirs.
But today, things are very different. Even though Barack Obama's two year legacy of anti-oil policies would seem to have a direct bearing on the skyrocketing cost of gasoline, only 1% of network news stories bothered to mention that, just maybe, Obama's moratorium on oil drilling and exploration - and his lobbing cruise missiles into the oil fields of Libya - just might have something to do with the fact that a tank of gas now costs twice what a share of General Motors stock does. No, really.
Instead, the networks are parroting Mr. Obama's assertion that the rising prices are due solely to the oil companies (the evil rich), and oil speculators (the evil rich), and Republicans (the evil rich) who have failed to prudently invest in sustainable, natural, alternative energies (unicorn farts).
Which is, perhaps, why network news ratings are increasingly going into the dumper. As today's cartoon mentions, CBS has just agreed to accept Katie Couric's "decision" (wink-wink, nudge-nudge) to leave her position as anchor of the CBS Evening News...but only after covering a really important news story: the Royal Wedding of Two People Whose Names We Don't Remember But Sort Of Like Anyway Because They Didn't Send Invitations To Barack And Michelle Obama.
Here at Hope n' Change, we'd like to think that Couric's dismissal could hint at the possibility of actual news reporting returning to the networks...if only in an attempt to steal some of Fox News's audience share.
But it probably won't happen. We have it on good authority (from the mainstream media) that the real blame for the decline in network news viewership should be directed at George Bush.
Just like the blame for everything else that's happened for the past two years.
"See BS" Evening News-
Easter is a day when people stop to reflect on the effects of spirit, morality, and responsibility in their lives and ask: "What would Jesus do?"
And the answer, according to the Whitehouse, is push-ups. Jesus would do lots and lots of push-ups. Or at least this seems to be the thinking at the 2011 Whitehouse Easter Egg Roll being held today (because what's so special about Sunday?) which has been turned into a fitness event.
Tastefully picking up on the Christian message of Resurrection, the event's theme is "Get Up And Go," and will feature healthy eating tips and cooking demos, as well as basketball, tennis, an obstacle course (perhaps called "the stations of the cross-trainer"?), a dance party, and of course yoga. Apparently "Eastern" was close enough to "Easter" in the minds of the Obama family.
To make sure the 30,000 invited guests don't forget the true meaning of the day, the official (and safely inedible) Whitehouse Easter Eggs each carry a portrait of the Easter Bunny wearing running shorts and a sweat band...which is like a crown of thorns, only washable. On the flip side of the eggs, a few words are inscribed to give comfort, strength, and a renewed sense of faith in these troubled times. The words are: "Barack Obama" and "Michelle Obama."
Predictably, some people are annoyed that the Whitehouse has taken one of the most sacred days on the Christian calendar and turned it into a secularly transmitted disease. But Hope n' Change must defend the alleged president and point out that he can be very serious about religion and observe holy days without turning them into jazzercize classes.
For instance, it wasn't that long ago he held a very tasteful and extravagant Whitehouse Ramadan feast for a group of Muslims at which he praised the majesty of their faith and enthusiastically encouraged them to build a mosque at Ground Zero.
After which, everyone went out to the Whitehouse lawn for the festive annual Head Roll.
The reason for the season: Barack Obama, Michelle Obama,
and an Easter Bunny dressed as Richard Simmons.
Bonus Update (too good not to share):
This picture, taken on Easter, indicates that we're not the only
ones who have some problems with B. Hussein's holiday plans.
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Originally published April 12, 2009
As we celebrate Easter, it's a good time to remember the people who are important to us. Like the pastor you followed for 20 years, and respected enough to have him baptize your children.Update 4/24/2011I couldn't resist bringing back "Jeremiah Wright in a Bunny Suit" for this Easter edition of the Hope n' Change Vault. After initially showing him in this get-up, I think I used Jeremiah several more times in other scenarios...without really bothering to explain why he was still dressed like the Easter Bunny. Or, in these politically correct times, perhaps he was the "Planting Season Bunny," who distributes "Spring Spheres" (rather than Easter eggs) to kids. Sigh...
In any event, you have a much better chance of seeing the real Easter Bunny today than you do of seeing Jeremiah Wright welcomed at the Whitehouse. Rosa Parks may have made sure that Blacks don't have to go to the back of the bus, but Barack Obama has demonstrated quite clearly that it's still okay to throw them under the bus.
But putting all of that aside for now, Hope n' Change wishes all of our readers a very happy Easter, and a joyous and meaningful day to everyone no matter what their faith.-
