Monday, April 25, 2011

Let's Easter Egg Roll

Easter is a day when people stop to reflect on the effects of spirit, morality, and responsibility in their lives and ask: "What would Jesus do?"

And the answer, according to the Whitehouse, is
push-ups. Jesus would do lots and lots of push-ups. Or at least this seems to be the thinking at the 2011 Whitehouse Easter Egg Roll being held today (because what's so special about Sunday?) which has been turned into a fitness event.

Tastefully picking up on the Christian message of Resurrection, the event's theme is "Get Up And Go," and will feature healthy eating tips and cooking demos, as well as basketball, tennis, an obstacle course (perhaps called "the stations of the cross-trainer"?), a dance party, and of course
yoga. Apparently "Eastern" was close enough to "Easter" in the minds of the Obama family.
To make sure the 30,000 invited guests don't forget the true meaning of the day, the official (and safely inedible) Whitehouse Easter Eggs each carry a portrait of the Easter Bunny wearing running shorts and a sweat band...which is like a crown of thorns, only washable. On the flip side of the eggs, a few words are inscribed to give comfort, strength, and a renewed sense of faith in these troubled times. The words are: "Barack Obama" and "Michelle Obama."

some people are annoyed that the Whitehouse has taken one of the most sacred days on the Christian calendar and turned it into a secularly transmitted disease. But Hope n' Change must defend the alleged president and point out that he can be very serious about religion and observe holy days without turning them into jazzercize classes.

For instance, it wasn't that long ago he held a
very tasteful and extravagant Whitehouse Ramadan feast for a group of Muslims at which he praised the majesty of their faith and enthusiastically encouraged them to build a mosque at Ground Zero.

After which, everyone went out to the Whitehouse lawn for the festive annual Head Roll.

The reason for the season: Barack Obama, Michelle Obama,
and an Easter Bunny dressed
as Richard Simmons.

Bonus Update (too good not to share):

This picture, taken on Easter, indicates that we're not the only
ones who have some problems with B. Hussein's holiday plans.



Pete(Detroit) said...

Classic, just classic.
You used 'em ALL!
I got nothin'..

Pete(Detroit) said...

Speaking of Richard Simmons, you heard he got the gig doing pre-recorded safety briefings for some NZ airline?

Angry Hoosier Dad said...


Jim Hlavac said...

Look, just because he's a pontificating blowhard with no feelings for American & Christian traditions and a disregard for his fellow man, while wishing the price of gas would go to $8 a gallon so we all stay home and the economy really tanks, along with a craven indifference towards actual governance and with a hateful mean streak directed at anyone who disagrees with him doesn't mean you should make fun of him.


Oh, OK, go ahead.

(But Pete(Detroit) no one should worry about Richard Simmons doing an airline safety video. All those boys up in the air doing it live are of the Simmons sort, if you know what I mean. In case the gaydar is broken, I'll clue you in -- all the flight(y) attendants are gay. It's apparently a job requirement. On jets, hetero guys are, ironically, only in the cockpit.)

Louis la Vache said...

The surprise here would have been if The 3M* had ACTUALLY observed Easter...

* The 3M*: Marxist Muslim Mulatto

John the Econ said...

Transmitting a "secularly transmitted disease".

Love it!

At least he's working on clearing up the question of what religion he practices...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Pete(Detroit)- Some topics present themselves as a rich vein of ore to be mined. This is one of 'em.

@Jim Hlavac- I appreciate your alleged defense of B. Hussein, as well as your dispensation that I can mock him.

Regarding the Richard Simmons airline safety video, I'd pay good money to arrange to have it shown on a flight chartered by the Westboro Baptist Church. Preferably in mid-air, with the pilot faking engine trouble.

@Louis la Vache- All kidding aside, it really seems like this Whitehouse is working overtime to trivialize and secularize anything relating to Christianity. Fair disclosure requires that I admit I'm not a churchgoer myself, but I have great respect for the importance and historical significance of the Judeo-Christian ethic in our country. And it troubles me - a lot - to see this kind of nonsense going on.

@John the Econ- Glad you enjoyed that particular turn of phrase. Once the phrase popped into my head it had to be used!

Suzy said...

And I thought Cookie Monster being force-fed carrot and celery sticks on Sesame Street was bad....

On another note...I have found it sadly humorous that the government is working OVERTIME to get rid of Christmas and Easter and anything else remotely "Christian" while our department stores still gladly make millions of dollars on these holidays...selling chocolate crosses and inspirational cards and eggs and seems hypocritical that Christians have to keep quiet about their beliefs but stores can shamelessly depend on most of their profits coming from these major "Christian" based holidays.....

Pete(Detroit) said...

Agreed, Suzy - I've thought for years that "Christ-mas" should be relocated to a more appropriate time of year (shepherds in the fields - lambing time - early spring, NOT mid-winter)and kept holy, while the gift giving / party / at winter solstice can fully revert to it's original Saturnalia origins...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Suzy- Someone could probably make a lot of money selling chocolate Korans. But they'd better spend that money really, really quickly...

@Pete(Detroit)- I haven't even started my Saturnalia shopping yet!

Suzy said...

Well Pete, technically spring over on the other side of the world would be fall/winter here, right? only point is that our government wants to rid itself of religion...except of course where it involves a profit.

Andrew said...

Stilton: Dead on as always. I'm also a non-attending Christian who like Jake & Elwood Blues could probably benefit from some 'churchin' up." But don't mess around with my Judaeo-Christian culture and values.

I'm glad to see that a little Mississippi town seems to have found the perfect solution to the Westboro lunatics. Bravo.

@Jim H, your Gaydar needs some Ensure. Male flight attendants are about 50-50 gay/straight these days, still disproportionate but a far cry from the pre-AIDS era. And the 'guys' in the cockpit are increasingly likely to be female.

pryorguy said...

BOOM! head exploded again

James said...

I'm not a Christian. I have openly mocked the religion and its followers in the past. But something in me is profoundly disturbed at the way he managed to turn such a solemn holiday that means so much to so many people into...well, I can't beat "secularly transmitted disease" or "jazzercize", so I'll just go with "this". It's sort of like mocking an enemy of yours right after his father's funeral, if that makes sense - it's just in very bad taste. And I'm just talking about what I, an ATHEIST, consider inappropriate. Obama claims to be a christian himself!

Well, some good might come of it. I wouldn't be surprised if even the more liberal networks pick up on the ridiculousness of those autographed eggs. (...I wonder how much those things'll be worth in a couple of years...)

Louis la Vache said...

PresiDEBT Zero further solidifies his muslim credentials.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@James- You're picking up on a crucially important thread in all of this. As I mentioned earlier, I'm something of a "Golden Rule Secularist" myself, but I have enormous respect for people of faith (which includes virtually all of my closest friends and family).

Also, without denying that there can be problems or intolerances sometimes associated with religion, a person would have to be a damn fool (or perhaps a damned fool) not to concede the vast amount of good which comes from our nation's church communities, and their key role - currently and historically - in establishing and reinforcing the moral codes which are essential in keeping "freedom" from descending into "chaos."

I know that, you know that, and Barack Hussein Obama knows that. I do not, for a nanosecond, believe that he is a Christian (nor do I believe him to truly worship anyone or anything above himself). But I do believe, with all of my heart, that he holds Islam in higher esteem than any other religion...and that he would like to undermine the Judaeo-Christian ethic in our country as much as possible.

And so Ramadan is a real and somber holiday in the Whitehouse, and Easter is a combination spin class and campaign event. At Ramadan, B. Hussein intones soberly about the prophet Mohammed, but at Easter the alleged president hires a guy in a moth-eaten costume to portray "Gladly the Cross-Eyed Bear."

Funny jokes? Sure. But Barack Obama is genuinely trying to destroy America's traditional moral values. And there's not a damn thing funny about that, for anyone who cares about this country - whatever their faith, or lack of faith.