Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Too Much Information



Wikileaks mastermind Julian Assange has finally been arrested in connection with leaks. And not the ones that have largely revealed America's most closely guarded diplomatic secrets.

Instead, Assange has been charged with two counts of rape for having (what he claims are) consensual sexual encounters...but not using condoms when requested. While this may not sound like the world's biggest crime, just consider the possibility of more little Julian Assanges being born into the world, and you'll understand why his capture was considered a top priority by Interpol...the world's largest police agency with "pole" right in its name. (ba-da-boom!)

Seriously, it seems strange that a person responsible for untold diplomatic destruction and dissemination of state secrets would be jailed on what sounds like a minor charge. Wikileaks has recently revealed secret facilities which are of critical importance to our defenses, and Assange has additionally threatened that if he isn't treated well, he'll release the password for the already widely-downloaded "Doomsday Files" which theoretically contain information which will make the previous leaks look like nothing. Welcome to the brave new world of cyber-blackmail.

Assange is said to be worried about his personal safety while in custody, and has requested "protection." We encourage authorities to grant that request...to exactly the same extent that Assange did for his sexual victims.

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8 comments:

Suzy said...

As a side note....can you really get arrested for having consensual sex but not using a condom? I haven't heard of that one before. Seems like it would open up a whole new world of female lawsuits...hmm.

This wikileaks thing is a huge, terrible joke. If Bush were in office everyone would be blaming him...but somehow Obama always stays off in the shadows.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Suzy- This was a somewhat new definition of "rape" to me, too. In at least one case, the "victim" was an uber-liberal female activist who sought out Assange for a one-night stand after he gave a speech. But she wanted a condom used, and he didn't. That doesn't strike me as "rape" so much as the violation of an oral contractual agreement. And while I don't want to "blame the victim" in a case of real rape, I have very little sympathy for a woman who was deliberately seeking risky sex with a man she didn't know and had no reason to trust...and got exactly that.

Pete(Detroit) said...

Stilt - they might have avoided the issue by sticking to an 'oral agreement' (ba-dum, ching)

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

Stilton and Pete:
As soon as I stop laughing I'm going to accuse you of blatant sexism and having a sense of humor totally driven by your base sexual urges...and make sure my wife sees me type it. That should buy me 1/2 a brownie point (12,000 more will get me out of the doghouse).

rick said...

Does that mean men can have women arrested or not waring one too?

pryorguy said...

'dikileaks'!!!!love it! Wish I had thought of that!!

Pete(Detroit) said...

Hoosier - Glad to be of service..
er, wait, no, that didn't come out right...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

pryorguy- Believe it or not, we have some standards here, so I did some hand-wringing about today's punchline. But it was just too good not to go for (or at least too much fun!)