Monday, April 25, 2011
Easter is a day when people stop to reflect on the effects of spirit, morality, and responsibility in their lives and ask: "What would Jesus do?"
And the answer, according to the Whitehouse, is push-ups. Jesus would do lots and lots of push-ups. Or at least this seems to be the thinking at the 2011 Whitehouse Easter Egg Roll being held today (because what's so special about Sunday?) which has been turned into a fitness event.
Tastefully picking up on the Christian message of Resurrection, the event's theme is "Get Up And Go," and will feature healthy eating tips and cooking demos, as well as basketball, tennis, an obstacle course (perhaps called "the stations of the cross-trainer"?), a dance party, and of course yoga. Apparently "Eastern" was close enough to "Easter" in the minds of the Obama family.
To make sure the 30,000 invited guests don't forget the true meaning of the day, the official (and safely inedible) Whitehouse Easter Eggs each carry a portrait of the Easter Bunny wearing running shorts and a sweat band...which is like a crown of thorns, only washable. On the flip side of the eggs, a few words are inscribed to give comfort, strength, and a renewed sense of faith in these troubled times. The words are: "Barack Obama" and "Michelle Obama."
Predictably, some people are annoyed that the Whitehouse has taken one of the most sacred days on the Christian calendar and turned it into a secularly transmitted disease. But Hope n' Change must defend the alleged president and point out that he can be very serious about religion and observe holy days without turning them into jazzercize classes.
For instance, it wasn't that long ago he held a very tasteful and extravagant Whitehouse Ramadan feast for a group of Muslims at which he praised the majesty of their faith and enthusiastically encouraged them to build a mosque at Ground Zero.
After which, everyone went out to the Whitehouse lawn for the festive annual Head Roll.