Monday, November 3, 2014

Laugh About It, Shout About It...

Depressing thought of the day: your vote equals exactly half of their votes.
Tomorrow is the big event - Election Day 2014! America's last chance to tell Barack Hussein Obama where to stick it, which way to twist it, and how long to leave it in!

Democrats, terrified by predictions that they'll receive a bitch-slapping of Biblical proportion have spent their final hours on the campaign trail screaming endlessly about racism yeah! Because Barack Obama is black! Not that any Democrats admit to actually knowing him.

But while Hope n' Change is optimistic about the election results and keenly interested in seeing the innovative new methods of voter fraud, we're truthfully not all that excited about where the world will be even if the Democrats get the hot, steaming crap kicked out of them.

According to the final report (we hope) of the United Nations panel on Climate Change, facts be damned - there really is climate change, it's almost entirely the fault of human beings, and the only hope of saving mankind is to eliminate ALL greenhouse gas emissions and build underground caves where UN Climate Change panel members can repopulate the Earth by breeding with women (at a ratio of 10 women for each man) "selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature."

Nor will the elections stop the spread of ISIS, keep Iran from getting the nuclear weapons, restore our healthcare system, or prevent the president from giving American citizenship to, oh, everyone in the freaking world in return for showing up here with really interesting and potentially untreatable diseases.

Speaking of which, it has just been reported that nurse Kaci Hickox met with reporters and told them in no uncertain terms that she refuses to change her clocks for Daylight Saving Time.

Still, with all that being said, Hope n' Change is looking forward to the election if only for the possibility of seeing Harry Reid dethroned and eventually sent back to Nevada to manage a whorehouse.

God knows there's no man in America with more experience for the job.

BONUS: "Say Cheese!"

obama, obama jokes, cartoon, debbie wasserman schultz, voter id, fraud, election, stilton jarlsberg, conservative, photo, hope n' change, hope and change

And One More Thing...


Popular Front said...

What did that dog say in the Merrie Melodies toon?
"pu..pu..pu..pu..pointy head!!"

George in Houtx said...

Stilton, thanks for the ref. to Dr. Strangelove. there were so many good lines from that movie. "Gentlemen, there will be no fighting in here. this is the War Room." however, I remain unconvinced that our "fearless leader" will truly leave after the 2016 elections.from everything I have read, he has (thru executive orders)set things up so that he can be "president for life" if he does not approve of the electoral outcome.
I REALLY hope that I'm wrong on this!

Geoff King said...

It will be quite amazing if the Dems do get royally reamed tomorrow. They seem to be using every dirty and illegal trick in the book to make sure that does not happen. Those "uncalibrated" voting machines in Maryland, North Carolina, and Illinois mysteriously changing Republican votes to Democratic. Illegal aliens and probably a multitude of dead people voting for the "get everything for free" party in Florida and elsewhere. Øbama telling the 27 people that still listen to him to vote early and vote often. Even the First Ladyboy is out campaigning for people she never heard of and has no idea what their names really are, even when they are spelled in 20 foot tall letters right behind her.
Yep, the deck has been stacked, but the house of cards may fall anyway. Since that deck is comprised of nothing but race cards, that is the hand that they are now playing for all it is worth. At least Ben Stein has called their bluff:

TrickyRicky said...

Stilton, fantastic Dr. Strangelove repopulating the earth reference. The look on Gen. Buck Turgidson's face when Strangelove was describing the necessary "sacrifices" men would have to endure is priceless.

Here is hoping for a big, big victory tomorrow. Although there is so much damage to repair, and so many squishy GOP types, it is important to send Obama and his ilk a stinging rebuke. More than that is the necessity of wresting the control of the Senate from Reid and forcing Dems to actually vote on legislation and show who they really are. Then there are federal judges. Many, many incremental improvements that can and must be made.

Our poor old 13 1/2 year old labrador threw in the towel the Friday after the 2012 election. She was so disgusted that The Won was still in the White House. I don't want to disappoint her this time around.

Judi King said...

The only hope for any change is to get rid of as many dems as possible. As for the UN, I've wondered since I was in high school (a long time ago) why the US had joined such a stupid organization. I say we should drop out and kick them out of their prime real estate in NYC. I can think of many better uses for that building.

Kitty said...

"But while Hope n' Change is optimistic about the election results and keenly interested in seeing the innovative new methods of voter fraud," Great way of saying what we're all thinking, Stilton, and a terrific jump start to the week!

Mike Porter said...

George in Houtx - such a
possibility is a freighenting thing indeed. Remember that Biden was choosen for his astounding ability to make dumbo virtually 'assination proof', as even the insane should be aware of the horror of such a succession. And a two-for-one special still leaves us with lenty of turds in the punch bowl. But alas, should the dirty bastard attempt such a move, I will go out on a limb and predict something of a 'ballroom blitz' reaction.

Geoff King - I recently suggested that we prosecute those responsible for the 'callibration' of those voting machines. We would then generously allow the guilty to choose their form of punishment via a similar multiple choice device, such that no matter which button they tap, the silly thing insists upon 'feet first through a wood chipper'. And of course, the perfect choice of chippers could be gotten from

Rod said...

This pre-election issue of HnC is a great start on what hopefully will be a fun week. Methinks you've been saving up for this one. HnC is the #3 thing I do M-W-F mornings; after peeing & getting a cup of coffee. Stilt, we'll keep watching closely to see what you really think.

Region Rat said...

I can't wait for this election to be over so I don't have to see Gov Quinn & the other Democrats whining how they need to continue "fighting" for us, how women's health is in jeapordy if a Republican gets in. It sucks being 20 min from Downtown Chicago, all of us in Indiana get Chicago/Illinois news and TV. Whats funny (maybe it isnt) but when Quinn was elected last time most of all Illinois voted for the Rebublican, its this Liberal, moronic Chicagoland area that voted for him and got him in. During the 2008 election the African Americans came out of the woodwork at the voting placeI work at. There are 3 precincts there and I didnt realize our town had that many. 2012 cycle less than a quarter came out. I'm guessing this midterm will have the usual 2 or 3 show up.
We really need a change; a change from any Democrat venom. I voted for my first Democrat though last week at early voting (I dont trust my absentee ballot will be counted & cant at my precinct since I am at a different voting precinct working). The guy is really a Republican but had to go Democrat to get elected in. Too many areas are solid Democrat here and overrun Republican votes. I have hope that there will be change this cycle. My daughter's future depends on it.

Colby Muenster said...

As much as I want to see a total ass whuppin' tomorrow, I'll just be thankful if we can just shitcan Reid. And I pray the new Senate majority leader make the remaining Dem asswipes vote on every last piece of legislation that's been collecting dust on Reid's desk. I heard that poor widdle Debbie might get shitcanned after the smoke clears from this election. Awwww... brings a tear to the eye, doesn't it?

Kay Hagan has been running an ad that blames Thom Tillis for Travon Martin's shooting. No shit... I'm not kidding. Dems start with the innuendoes, proceed to little lies, then on to boldfaced fabrications. The next step is to cry racism. Hagan has managed to combine all of the above into one vicious ad. I'm so proud she is my Senator.... tillis ain't no Reagan, but Lord I hope he beats her!

Anonymous said...

Is it true that, in order to make the traffic at the polls a little lighter, they're trying something new this year; Republicans/Conservatives will vote on Tuesday, Democrats/Liberals' on Wednesday, and all others on Thursady.

John the Econ said...

Unfortunately, the opening of today's post reads as though Obama may actually care what we think. He doesn't; never did. As far as he's concerned, the damage was done back in 2008. Even if the Democrats lose congress, he's "still got a telephone and pen". Health care as we knew it is gone. The borders are more open than ever. The bureaucracy of every government agency is now openly controlled by Progressives who will not care what a Republican congress says or does about them.

In other words, we're the ones who've been stuck, and the state will now determine where we'll get stuck next, which way it twists, and how long it's left in. If the GOP actually does take congress, the bureaucracy will throw a tantrum that will make last year's "sequester" silliness look like a warm-up act. Ordinary citizens will now be openly punished for voting incorrectly.

And I wish we'd all stop referring to Barack Obama as "Black". If George Zimmerman, born of a Hispanic mother, is "white", then there's no way that Barack Obama is any "blacker" than Bill Clinton, who was openly referred to as America's "First Black President".

This is how far we've allowed Progressives to take us down the rabbit hole; even obvious and solidly definable traits as one's "race" have been hijacked and re-defined based on political judgement.

New Mexico governor Susana Martinez, who's parents were both from Mexico, is framed by Democrats as non-Latin because "she does not have a Latino heart". Harry Reid expands this to all non-conforming Hispanics by saying "I don’t know how anyone of Hispanic heritage could be a Republican, okay?"

Meanwhile, notice that now that she's arrived at the Senate, Elizabeth Warren has quietly shed her totally fraudulent "Native American" heritage that was so useful for college admissions and rising through the ranks at Harvard where she was actually Harvard's first "Native American Professor". Not that it's no longer useful, she quietly disposes of it like a used condom. Sorry Native Americans, but you're no longer of any use to her. (But no doubt Harvard will work diligently to purge their public record of this embarrassment just as they did with Barack Obama's tenure as "First Black Editor" at the Harvard Law Review - even though he actually wasn't)

Since reality is now so easily fungible by Progressives, why shouldn't it be decreed that "Climate Change" is exclusively the fault of white American males to the detriment to everybody else?

But thanks @Stilton for this morning's good chuckle about Kaci Hickox refusing to change her clocks. Perhaps there's a lesson in that for all of us.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Popular Front- Merrie Melodies were a very key element in the development of my sense of humor.

@George in Houtx- I was hoping some folks would catch the Dr. Strangelove reference!

And I'm not too worried about Barry trying to become "president for life;" he's already been president and found out that it wasn't fun and he wasn't good at it. I think his next goal is King of the United Nations. You read it here first.

@Geoff King- Stein is exactly right that Obama is the most racist president in history (certainly since the Civil War), and has probably done more damage to race relations than any other individual in our nation's history.

And yes, I expect a tidal wave of cheating tomorrow. By some estimates, as many as one million illegals may vote. In a word: "yikes."

@TrickyRicky- Thanks to Ebola, I've thought a lot about Dr. Strangelove recently, since the precipitating event has to do with "Precious Bodily Fluids."

While there are limits about what can be done in the GOP takes the senate, you're absolutely right about putting Dems on the record and the appointment of judges. This has GOT to happen.

And truly sorry about your dog. Yesterday was the one-year anniversary of losing our precious Maggie (a yellow lab mix). We miss her still - although Penny (whose first birthday was on Halloween) is a wonderful addition to our family.

@Judi King- The United Nations is a waste of time, space, and money. Demolish the building and tell people to meet on Skype.

@Kitty- I genuinely believe that the fancier our voting systems get, the easier they are to fiddle with. When true "Internet voting" is enabled, it will be the same as having no real elections at all.

@Mike Porter- A calibration error is a calibration error. Multiple calibration errors are a conspiracy.

And I think woodchippers are way too underused as motivational tools.

@Region Rat- I could go the rest of my life without hearing that there is a "War on Women" being perpetrated by the Right. (Actually, I think the Left does have a War on Women, but that's too long a topic to address here.)

@Colby Muenster- Seeing Reid lose his post is way up high on my "bucket list." And I desperately want Dem senators to be forced to vote on the record for what they believe in.

The last minute surge of accusations of racism weren't unexpected, but are abhorrent. And are also one of the clearest indicators that white liberals think black voters must be mental midgets.

@Anonymous- That's absolutely true. Plus, Democrats who vote on Wednesday will also get a free car from Oprah Winfrey!

@John the Econ- As usual, all I can do is agree with your every utterance. This election certainly can't undo the screwing we've received in the past, or the screwing we're going to get in the future.

A lot of people will probably figure that out shortly after the election, as their health insurance policies are cancelled or go soaring in price. But their anger will go nowhere with Obama's magic veto pen still in play.

And I am abso-effing-lutely sick of giving a rat's ass about matters of race and racial privilege. I believe that all men (and women) are created equal, the golden rule applies, and those who don't think those principles cover enough can STFU.

Sam L. said...

That extra cartoon is ACES!

TheOldMan said...

@Judi King
I prefer that the UN be moved to some beautiful spot, perhaps Monrovia or Lagos. It does provide some laughs while being mostly inconsequential although from time to time it can wreak some havoc in the reality-based world.

Jim Hlavac said...

I'm not so sure anything much is going to change, even with a Republican senate ...

but, it's nice to see all this enthusiasm for throwing the bums out -- but who will throw out the next set of bums?

Colby Muenster said...

I'll stick in a small anecdote that give me a ray of hope (the real kind of hope that is). Mrs. Colby voted last Friday, and she ran the usual gauntlet of campaigners outside the polling place. One was a black woman who handed her a flyer. My wife glanced at the flyer expecting to see copious amounts of liberal BS, but instead saw a list of the Tea Party's recommended cadidates.

No doubt this woman gets excoriated in her own community, and I applaud her for having the audacity and guts to use her own brain instead of being an O'Liar echo machine just because she is black.

If what I just said is racist, then I guess I'm a racist.

Anonymous said...

BTW, Stilton, it's Daylight Saving Time, not plural...

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Sam L- I like to think of myself as a problem solver, and I think my idea could help solve the whole photo ID debate. Or not.

@TheOldMan- Maybe we could pitch old-fashioned canvas sideshow banners in front of the building, and then just go inside and laugh and point at the (ahem) "diplomats."

@Jim Hlavac- One step at a time.

@Colby Muenster- She sounds like a brave woman. And how I long for the day when black Americans decide to throw off the liberal shackles. I firmly believe that the Left keeps black Americans in slavery, and I'm not being metaphorical.

@Anonymous- So it's Daylights Saving Times? (Kidding) Yeah, I wasn't sure - so I googled it when writing the commentary and "savings" came up about a million times so I thought I was golden. But noOOoo. Had I read further, I would have found out that "savings" is a very common error which is why it's all over the Internet.

Thanks for pointing it out.

txGreg said...

for something non-political... Here's the Wikipedia take on Daylight Saving versus Daylight Savings (and other variations).

PRY said...

I believe NOTHING will feel better than knowing that Harry Reid WILL NOT be Obama's veto dog anymore!

Someone asked me if I thought Obama was the Antichrist...I said no, but ya know....he's make a great one!!

DougM said...

Re: "underground caves"

Geoff King said...

Here in Arizona we do not observe DST, and life seems to go on quite well without screwing with our internal and external clocks twice a year. Half of the year Pacific Time aligns with us, and the other half it is Mountain Time that prefers our method of timekeeping. Now only Arizona and Hawaii avoid the foolish bi-annual ritual of changing our clocks, our sleep schedules, and submitting to the unnescessary smoke detector battery replacement mandated by Duracell and Eveready.

Jselvy said...

That, my friend, would be Casus Belli.

BC said...

Stilt - Posted this on im41 on your account... BC

Chuck Baker said...

If the Republicans win today, they will be in the crapper come the 2016 elections. If they win BIG, they’ll be flushed in 2016. Why? Because all the evil that has been planted by the left in the last 6 years will really start to produce it’s rotten fruit in the next 2 years, and the Republicans (if on control of the House and Senate) will take the blame because the LIVs gets their news from Comedy Central and the While House talking points as regurgitated by the propaganda arm or the left (ABC, CBS, NBC, MSNBC, CNN, NPR, New York Times, AP, etc.). So much that has been started simply can’t be reversed, and since Republican politicians are just as power hungry as those on the left, I fear nothing will change for the better. At best, there might be a slowing in the decomposition, but I suspect that the rotting corpse of our once great Republic is beyond being revived and healed.

And now I go to vote anyway, because it is my civic duty and I don’t want to contribute to this: Pearls Before Swine

But I’m afraid we are already past this point nonetheless: Wizard of Id

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@txGreg- All I know is that whether Springing forward or Falling back, I always lose sleep and end up feeling like I have jet lag for a week. Bah.

@PRY- I'm a bit hazy on theology, but isn't the Antichrist supposed to be really popular as a means to deceive people? Barry is too clearly an a-hole to pull it off.

@DougM- I think a lot of climate "scientists" would like to be in those caves. It's the nerd equivalent of getting 99 Islamic virgins in the hereafter.

@Jefferson Selvy- True fact: Casus's brother (and famed attorney) Melvin Belli once appeared on the Star Trek TV show.

@BC- Thank you, sir! I've been remiss about posting over at as often as I should (Readers, check it out - great conservative site!)

@Chuck Baker- I agree with a lot of what you say, and actually expressed my feelings fairly completely in the title for today's cartoon. For those who missed the reference, it's from the "candidates' debate" verse of Simon & Garfunkel's "Mrs Robinson."

Laugh about it, shout about it
When you've got to choose
Any way you look at it
You lose

And I'll admit to a certain melancholy today based on the ugly way racism has been injected into the final hours of the Dems' campaigning. Eric Holder is sending "election monitors" to polling places to "look for racial discrimination," ads are being run accusing the GOP of wanting to literally murder blacks, and Michelle Effing Obama told a black audience that they need to vote straight Democrat "no matter what the candidates have said or done." Like, oh, causing black Americans to lose ground in virtually every economic indicator over the past six years.

It saddens me that elections no longer seem to be about ideas, but only about hate. And that in this election, we can't even vote directly against the man who hates America most - Barack Obama.

Sorry if this seems like a gloomy post; maybe it's the threatening skies over North Texas this morning. Hopefully the election returns this evening will make me feel a bit more celebratory.

PRY said...


Yeh, he's pretty unpopular at the moment, but never doubt his unswerving ideology of globalism, which could carry him to new heights as he finds new regions to exploit. He is still young, plenty of time and energy plus the connections he has from his position. And his narcissism will totally drive him to be SOMEBODY in this world, plus his Muslim sympathies will come into play because the Islamic curse will be around until Jesus wraps this whole thing up one day.

That's why I say, if he's not the antichrist, he would make a good one...but in actuality, the true antichrist will be UNBELIVEABLY CRUEL, after three and a half years of 'peace and love', the hammer will come down on those who don't toe the line! God bless ya,'re doing a good job!

BC said...

Thank you Stilt...

I ran across your lib twins, snorked coffee on my computer screen and had to come by and visit an old blogging buddy.

I had laugh tears squirting before I left...

as usual

Popular Front said...

@Stilton - saw a doco years back about the Merrie Melodies/Loonie Tunes crew from back in the 50s and some of them were outside this old ratshack on the Warner's lot, their studio I'll guess, throwing a football around. They were all, or for the most part long haired bearded proto-hippies, very Bohemian. What I liked a lot was the satire and social comment in those toons, perhaps not obvious to a then-child but repeated showings in later life certainly illustrated it.
"Hoboken?!? I'm dyin' agaaain!!"

Popular Front said...

Good morning hopeychangey folks! Well it is Wednesday morning 5th November here Down Under and a lot of us are wondering how your US mid-terms are going. Hopefully you are delivering Obamayomama's deadbeats a good ass kickin.

Regarding Judi King's UN comments I have to agree. The UN has long ago passed its' use-by date, just like its' predecessor the League Of Nations did prior to WW2. The Japs told the LoN to shove it in the early 30s over their agression in Manchuria from 1931 on and walked out (this is on film btw). The Italians walked out after being censured over their agression against Abyssinia (Ethiopia) in 1936 and the LoN actively prevented the duly elected government of Spain from purchasing arms to defend itself against Franco's fascist insurrection. They also did nothing about resolving the Grand Chaco War in South America between Bolivia and Paraguay over (as it turned out) non-existent oil deposits. A long litany of failure including the worst of all; standing back and allowing Nazi Germany to first re-arm and then start goosestepping all over central Europe, giving us eventually WW2 which swept away the League of Nations forever.
But, progressives being what they are, and ALWAYS knowing what is best for us proles, they morphed into the United Nations with much the same agenda and as we have seen much the same results. What started out as an altruistic organisation to promote the fellowship of nations has degenerated into a pack of squabbling UNELECTED representatives more concerned with another helping of Moet et Chandon and smoked salmon than promoting world health and peace. Kick all those UN parasites out of NYC and knock down that old ugly building and do something positive with the site, like a nice park perhaps. Somewhere the poor suffering taxpayers who pay for all these freeloaders can go and walk their dog or throw a frisbee, which let's face it will be much more productive than the creative inertia of the UN.

John the Econ said...

My random thoughts for the day:

The upside to the Obama era is that we've been spared another recession by now because we never had a real recovery from the last one.

Noting the desperate arguments and outright lies the Democrats have been making lately (like about the deficit going down under Obama while the debt will have doubled by the end of his term) what I'd suggested above is no less insane.

On the Ebola front, perhaps it can become worse than the AIDS epidemic:

For Ebola Survivors, Sex Carries Added Risk

Liberian Woman Declared Virus-Free Slept With Her Fiancé, Who Got Sick and then died.

Turns out that if you survive Ebola, it can still be the gift that keeps on giving. Just something for Kaci Hickox's boyfriend to think about.

Obama and the Black Vote

The appeals to racial division mask the lack of economic progress.

The Democrat's message to Black voters: "If you don't get out and vote for us, the GOP will condemn you to unemployment that is twice that of Whites, and over 1-quarter of you will be living in poverty, and your median household income will fall..."

...all just like it has under the last 6 years of Barack Obama.

With friends like the Progressive Democrats, there really isn't much the GOP can do to make life for Black Americans much worse.

Skoonj said...

Looks like Wasserman Test has a touch of Duane's Retraction Syndrome.

John the Econ said...

@Popular Front, if the UN was only as benign as you say. It's worse. It's become a protection racket for the planet's totalitarian thugs.

While Putin, ISIS, Boko Haram and other wacko groups run lose globally, the UN instead focuses on wealth-transfer schemes like "Climate Change". In fact, I've barely heard even lip service to ISIS or even Ebola. But no, it's the imaginary threats they're more interested in; the ones that can't be quantified outside of theoretical computer models promulgated by their own cronies.

Oh, and if you haven't been paying attention, the UN is actively seeking to take over control of the Internet from the US, which is willingly giving up control. Got that? The Internet to be controlled by China, Russia, and Islamic-friendly regimes. On top of that, they're looking to implement traffic-taxing schemes as well. In the end, it's always about control and other people's money with this bunch.

I agree. They should be sent packing. I think the UN should be located to the planet's worst hell-holes where they can be laser-focused on real people's problems. But naw. The planet's totalitarian thugs like escaping their own self-created hell-holes to go shopping in NYC. And why wouldn't they?

Jim Hlavac said...

I wish people stop calling them "midterms" -- they are not - the life-cycle of our government does not revolve around the presidency. It is an every other year retention election ... do we wish to keep the incumbents if office. 95% of the time, it seems so -- though there are some outlying years.

But the House, and 1/3 the Senate are up for reconsideration every other year ... it is not in the "middle" of anything. It is an inexorable process that exists. By calling it the "midterms" it gives to the presidency an aura it does not deserve ... one part of our current problem is thinking, left or right, "what can the president do to solve ..." well - it's not his job to solve things .. it's his (or her, eventually) job to carry out the laws which Congress is supposed to conceive.

Now we have the Congress as a rubber stamp for presidential action -- or a doormat ... a wet rag certainly.

Though, always remember, there's a court somewhere that might well say "the law is unconstitutional" ... and that's a damn good thing to have. Indeed, it is no accident that the English Speaking, Common Law countries of this earth are the freest and richest (suffering, though) while the Civil Law structured languages languish in poverty and control the more they adhere to it.

And by calling them the "midterms" we are pushing the royalist meme of the Civil Law -- rather than the liberty of the Common Law.

In the short term the news will be exciting, I'm sure -- but in the immediate future, not much will change.

Pete (Detroit) said...

This seems to be popular, over on FBook...

"I voted *3* times"
"well, yeah, you see my cousin's not registered, so I had to vote for her, too... and she's a Democrat, so I had to vote twice..."

Bruce Bleu said...

Hey, weren't these guys in the movie "Deliverance" playing the song "Drooling Banjos"?

I just heard today that magilla obola told voters to vote democrap, and afterward to treat themselves to some FRIED CHICKEN!!!! Can you imagine what a furor would have erupted if a HONKY had made that same comment?

Anonymous said...

Reading these posted comments is depressing. What ever happened to good old American know how? Knowing how to solve problems, how to fix things, how to overcome diversity. Stand up and be an adult, take care of yourself, help others and just do it. If we as a nation can't fix this mess then the World will have surely lost it's last best hope.

JustaJeepGuy said...


The Demo_Rats don't want Americans to be adults and take care of themselves. They want Americans to want the government to be their mommy and daddy. That way, Americans will be easier to control. Look who the Dem-Rats' constituencies are, after all.