Friday, January 13, 2017

Shaken Reporters

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, buzzfeed, trump, golden showers, news, media

Okay, Trump isn't really going to be pee-boarding anyone (darn it), but just because a story isn't true is no reason not to report it.  At least, in 2017 that seems to be the prevailing journalistic philosophy after a number of news outlets, with varying degrees of enthusiasm and hyperbole, published reports that the Russians were ready to blackmail Donald Trump with secret videos of the billionaire in a Moscow hotel room, paying prostitutes to perform a "golden showers" scenario (peeing) on a bed once used by Barack and Michelle Obama.

The only problem is that there's no evidence whatsoever that this ever happened. None. It's complete and utter claptrap, and less believable than the rumor that the Russians have video of the night the Obamas used that hotel room and someone ended up getting a "dirty Sanchez." (If you don't know the term, for the love of all that's holy don't look it up.  Let's just say it's a sexual act invented by liberals who really, really deserve to be turned into pillars of salt.)

At a press conference on Wednesday, Trump quickly dismissed the preposterous tale - and subsequently refused to take questions from a CNN reporter because that organization was one of the purveyors of this "fake news." Score one for The Donald!

The so-called "Trump Blackmail" dossier has apparently been kicking around for months, with many people in government and media aware of its existence, but unable to do anything with it since none of the accusations held up to scrutiny. Which is frequently the case when a story is complete and utter bullcrap.

Still, the fictitious scandal developed a life of its own behind closed doors. If we're getting the story right (which seems quaint, doesn't it?), the dossier found its way into the hands of John McCain who was so stunned by the scatological accusations that he spat out the acorns he'd been storing in his cheeks for winter.

McCain then gave the report to FBI Director (and unindicted Hillary co-conspirator) James Comey, who - instead of burning the report and suggesting that McCain check into a 12-step program -  apparently slipped the information to perennial lunatic Harry Reid, who demanded the allegations be made public to derail Trump's run to the White House. This is, of course, the same Harry Reid who gleefully boasts about lying his ass off regarding Mitt Romney's taxes as an act of political sabotage.

(And on a side note, Harry, absolutely no one believes your story of getting your face battered and bruised by an exercise rubber band gone rogue. Rather, we strongly suspect that person or persons unknown beat the living tar out of you, then disappeared into the shadows before we could offer to buy them several rounds of drinks.)

Passed around as indiscriminately as Bill Clinton's DNA, the report eventually found it's way to the NBC-affiliated "news" website Buzzfeed (so named because Buttfeed was apparently already taken) which printed every scurrilous word online - kicking off a massive "me too" campaign of other alleged news organization linking to the story without even pretending to fact-check.

As alleged actress Meryl Streep said only days ago, "Disrespect invites disrespect" and "when the powerful use their positions to bully, we all lose. We need the principled press to hold power to account, to call them on the carpet for every outrage."

So far, the real outrages seem to be generated by a press which has deserted anything remotely like principle.

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, buzzfeed, trump, golden showers, news, media, clowns, seltzer bottle


james daily said...

The MSM is mad because PE Trump told them to pound sand as he was going straight to the people. They are fit to be tied and he doesn't care. They will continue with this outrageous lying for four years. It was not a problem that the Muslim hasn't held a press conference in over two years but it is a problem if nitwits do not get called on. Oh, it was his drunk brother that kicked the sheet out of Harry.
Harry is such a liar he could not even admit it. There was something about him suing the exercise maker but that was a lie also.

Barry in Britain said...

A definition of madness is to continually repeat the same behavior and expect a different outcome. The MSM, having taken to lies, propaganda and general unjournalism, seem to be doing the same thing but more so.

The redoubtable American Joe and Jane have seen through all the BS and now the MSM are regarded on a par with the brothers Grimm.

donpaul53 said...

And while we're at it. All positions , presence t and past MUST buy use Obamacare.NO EXCEPTION

Rod said...

Let's all remember there are REQUIRED licenses for Broadcasting; and professional licenses for providing services to the public. They entail certain standards of education, testing, references, professional ethics as well as ongoing appropriate corporate & individual behavior, with consequences for not complying. It's time to consider these one means of cleaning this up.

Or maybe just more people receiving the Harry Reid snap-band technique.

Which would be best?

Jim Irre said...

I don't give a damn what the media wear, I want to see Trump use the seltzer bottle!

Geoff King said...

Yet another reason I am highly disappointed in my state for re-electing that POS Republicrat John McLame.
So, we are to believe that a billionaire, who owns his own hotels, has to travel all the way to Moscow to find hookers willing to perform lewd acts?
Here's an interesting take on that:

Emmentaler Limburger said...

@donpaul53: What?

@Geoff King: Great analysis in that link. Similar logic to the argument to use when people say Trump ran for reasons other than being pissed off with the status quo in WDC. I mean: why would a billionaire, comfortable in life, put himself and his family through the absolute bullpuckey of US presidential politics and the mud-fest we call the campaign season? For the glory? Well, the likes of Carter, Clinton, and Ă˜bama having been there obviates that excuse. I stand firmly hopeful that his motivation is, in fact, to make America great again.

And I absolutely LOVED Trump's treatment of CNN. Bravo! More, sir! More!

Fred Ciampi said...

When you want your child to clean their room you say "do not clean your room!" And next thing you know, the room is clean. When you want your readers to read something you say "don't look up dirty Sanchez". All I can say is "Aaarrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh". Thankyouverrymuch. Now I have to find some brain bleach........... Hmmmmm, I have some 180 proof 'shine. That might work.

But I am absolutely thrilled with how The Donald handled the CNNNNNNN [sic] reporter. Sort of like using vice grips on his nuts. I have always felt that one does not cross Donald Trump. (I have read a lot on his business tactics). I am looking forth with glee to the future, both near and far. There will be tears (of joy for some of us and of sorrow for many of them) and gnashing of teeth in DC. Yay. I may purchase a second TV so that I can watch two news stations at once. Yayyyyy, Stilt.

John the Econ said...

One thing that has always impressed me about Progressives is how short their "memory loop" is. This is the period of time between an embarrassing event or display of blatant partisan hypocrisy and the next opportune or in-opportune occurrence of the same event. Think of Clinton the misogynist lecturing America on misogyny when you were supposed to have forgotten by now that the Clintons are misogynists. Typically, it used to be at least the length of a presidential cycle. But now, it's measured in weeks, days, or even minutes. This is probably due to the fact that the entire Progressive agenda is imploding before our eyes, so the left's only option is to go full "Baghdad Bob". But in the age if the Internet when pretty much everyone has the ability to look up anything, it does seem strangely counter-intuitive.

In this case, for the last few months we've had the Progressive establishment lecturing us on the scourge of "fake news" that was declared largely responsible for the failure of Americans to accept the proper ascendancy of Hillary Clinton. (Never mind that with the possible exception of "Pizza-gate", most of the "fake news" about Hillary was, in fact, true, but only declared "fake" because it came from the DNC's & Podesta's own mail servers)

But that was last week. This week, some sleazy website that nobody with any sense takes seriously for anything beyond celebrity gossip (and yet owned by a supposedly "serious" organization) pushes an unsourced and transparently phony "secret intelligence report" about Trump, and other supposed "serious" news organization CNN unquestionably picks it up, which means everyone else does too. (Well, I don't recall seeing this on my local NBC station, so kudos to them for knowing better)

So now we have the same people who only last week were lecturing us about the reality distortion produced by parroting "fake news" taking glee in disseminating what can't be described as anything other than fake news.

Which only serves to reinforce what more and more Americans are figuring out: "Fake news" is only a problem when it hurts Progressives or the Progressive agenda. Everything else is fair game. It also reinforces what I said the other day about the supposed media mea culpa that took place after the election when they got everything wrong. Not only did they never reset to any semblance of "fair and balanced", they've clearly doubled-down on being the unquestioned PR wing of the Progressive establishment.

Meryl Streep: Irony impaired. But then again as a mere script-reader, it's not her job to understand what comes out of her mouth, now is it?

Bruce Bleu said...

I've "heard" that when it comes to Trump "calling out" fake news reporters, he's a WHIZ at it!
Buttfeed, so aptly named because they "Get their news" from the same place these Easter eggs were hidden-
The one negative about my moving to Arizona... Juan McCain has EARNED his floppy shoes, fright wig and red rubber nose but will not wear them to make the obvious complete!

Fritzchen said...

Ye shall hear from whores and rumors from whores!

Faith D. said...

Oh, I've long suspected that Reid's "exercise equipment" was a member of the Vegas mob, who decided to "teach Harry a lesson" after losing control of the Senate. Note that the "accident" happened just after Election Day in 2014.

Alfonso Bedoya said...

When my parents warned me not to do something, I---you guessed it---did it anyway. Re the "dirty Sanchez," I looked it up. Because I had never heard the term, I simply HAD to do it. Thinking that the term sounded like a new drink at the local golf club's watering hole, I was roundly disappointed when I got a dirty look from the bartender. At least the definitions (including the ones on Wikipedia) were good for more than just a few laughs, and these days I try to grab all the laughs I can find.

Doc said...

It would seem DINGEY HARRY can stretch the truth VERY WELL...exercise equipment...Eh...Not so much! Could he be the victim of some miscreant penis enlarger...highly unlikely as he's already a huge D**K!!!

Pete (Detroit) said...

Sooner or later, MSM will realize that Trump doesn't need them, and they'll start treating him nicer.
Or not.
Until then, I'm looking forward to more such verbal pimp slapping with gleeful anticipation!

Shelly said...

I had every expectation that the media would suddenly revert to their mad dog tactics after Trump's election. After eight years of non-practice, they are finding they are not so good at it. They have always been able to take down any Republican they wanted to just by making allegations. That doesn't work with Trump and it never will and their frustration is palpable. Maybe he IS the only one who could shake up that DC-NY-Hollywood-Academia leftist cabal who have been running the show for far too long. I recommend watching Neil Cavuto's takedown of CNN. It was basically "how does it feel, CNN?"

An anecdotal story: My ex, who is an avid fisherman, was perusing lures at a local sporting goods establishment. He came across one named the Dirty Sanchez. Another was named Sweet Beaver. Someone at that manufacturer has a wicked sense of humor.

Joseph ET said...

We can all probably name at least five professions that require a licence and have an enforceable code of ethics.
Do You Need a license to be a Journalist? NOPE!
Do You Need a degree in journalism to be a Journalist? NOPE!
Is there an enforceable code of ethics or code of conduct for Journalist? NOPE!
When the idea of license for Journalist comes up, they claim it would be censorship.
So, we will probably never see the licensing of Journalist as it is likely a bad idea.

But, it would be nice if there was a written code of ethics that they would be expected to be follow.

Sergio said...

Perhaps at the Convention, Trump gave someone a "Cleveland Steamer". Be sure to look that up!

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@James Daily- I'm actually in favor of a principled press holding Trump's feet to the fire, but we all know that it isn't going to happen. They're simply going to dish out attacks and lies...which will ironically lessen the impact of any actual dirt they may discover.

And I think Harry Reid deserves some sort of chutzpah award for not only lying about his injuries, but then trying to make money from the lie by suing the maker of the exercise band. What a sleazeball.

@Barry in Britain- I wish it were true that all those Joes and Janes have seen through the BS, but sadly I'm not even sure that a majority of them do. Too many Americans are still getting their "news" from Twitter and Saturday Night Live.

@donpaul53- I sooooooo agree that it's time for politicians to be required to live under the laws and regulations they impose on the rest of us.

And speaking of Obamacare, even though I theoretically got my policy squared away some weeks ago, I've recently received notices that A) my income estimate has been approved, B) my income estimate has NOT been approved and I may lose my coverage, and C) "there's still time for you to choose a plan." Idiots.

@Jim Irre- You know, the moment I wrote that line I decided that it's something I'd actually love to see. If Trump adopts this as policy, just remember where he got the idea!

@Geoff King- The story makes no sense on its face. Then again, Lefties no doubt believed every syllable because in their experience, people have no ability to resist sexual and scatological temptations.

@Emmentaler Limburger- I agree that there's seemingly no real upside for Trump's volunteering for the Presidency other than his desire to actually make things better. Whatever one thinks of the man, that's a refreshing change.

@Fred Ciampi- I said don't look it up! And especially not using the Google image search (okay, now I'm just being evil).

And like you, I look forward to watching Trump drive the MSM crazy. They richly deserve it.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@John the Econ- Speaking of that short "memory loop" reminds me of how often I've felt like we're now living in "Memento" world, where people just can't seem to hold on to tangible facts for more than a brief period.

And while I agree that the Internet makes it easy to fact-check "fake news," I'm afraid that too many people lack the will to do so. "News" is no longer what's going on, it's a customizable feed of what people want to hear.

On a related note, the New York Times now says it won't use the term "fake news" anymore, because it's gotten a bit out of control. Meaning that too many conservatives are rightfully calling out the New York Times and other "classic" sources for their fake news agendas.

@Bruce Bleu- You shouldn't have mentioned the Anal Easter Egg're going to give liberals new ideas!

@Fritz Brohn- And the whores they rode in on!

@Faith D- Then again, maybe Reid got a Red Ryder BB gun and simply shot his eye out.

@Alfonso Bedoya- I just looked online and there actually IS such a thing as a Dirty Sanchez cocktail (so to speak). It's a mix of Bailey's Irish Cream and Jose Cuervo Gold Tequila. And presumably you need to end up with some on your upper lip.

@Dr. Roger Harris- As Dave Barry would say, "Miscreant Penis Enlarger" would be a great name for a band.

@Pete (Detroit)- I'm anxious to see what sort of relationship develops between Trump and the press. I expect it to be colorful at the very least.

@Shelly- I always enjoy hearing what Neil Cavuto has to say, and all the more so when he's salting CNN's wounds.

@Joseph ET- I agree that licensing journalists is a bad idea, because with licensing comes control...and that's anathema to actual freedom of the press. But I do think a written code of ethics is a good idea, at least to the extent that anyone would follow that code.

Actually, a few do already (I'm looking at you, Wall Street Journal) which is why they have actual credibility.

@Sergio- Okay, I'd never heard that term. Mrs. Jarlsberg looked it up and explained it to me. Well, she explained the act to me, but I'll be damned if either of us could come up with an explanation of why someone would do such a thing. Unless, of course, they Democrats.

pgm1972 said...

[quote]Jim Irre said...

I don't give a damn what the media wear, I want to see Trump use the seltzer bottle!

Where's the damned "Like" button on this page? :-)

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@pgm1972- You hit the "Like" button just by being here!

Anonymous said...

Hey to Stilton
It's not main stream media;
it's Lame stream media !!
carry on and look good ..

Anonymous said...

Please Mister, don't go. Please suh, may we have sum mo.

From the number one rumor monger (that would be you) I've heard you're leaving for a higher ground.

What will happen to this website? At least leave it up long enough so I may compile all your absolutely fabulously exactly cutting work into a book. Because if you won't, someone has to.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

@Anonymous (and other interested parties)- This website will NOT be disappearing, even though I'll soon discontinue new posts. But everything that is already here will remain, and the lovely little search box in the left column will still let you look up old stories and cartoons. It's very interesting to just enter something like "Obamacare" and then read the long and tangled history. Or "Benghazi" or "Fast and Furious." I really want this site to remain a resource for those who want a contemporaneous record of what we were going through.

And as I mentioned in previous comments, it looks like I may have found a way to turn posts into ebook form. I'll keep you posted on that.

Also, I again encourage everyone to sign up for the email list (again, near the top of the left column) so I can let you know whatever I decide to do next. I honestly don't know what exactly I'll be doing after HnC, and probably won't for a few weeks. I don't know if I'll feel freed or if I'll go stir crazy. So I'm hoping that everyone who might want to see where the ride takes us in the future will get on that list.

kennycan said...

Nyuck Nyuck Nyuck