Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Shape Up and Ship Out



As if the current TSA pat-downs of children weren't intrusive enough, we can barely imagine what will happen now that alleged First Lady Michelle Obama has declared childhood obesity to be a national security issue.

Consulting with military experts, Mrs. Obama says that as many as one in four kids would be too chubby to head to the front lines in a military crisis...and in fairness, such crises are seeming a lot more likely with her husband in office.

Motivationally speaking, Mrs. Obama may have a tough job convincing kids that they should give up desserts, sodas, and fast food so that they'll have a better chance of getting shot at. But of course, that's why kids can't be allowed to make decisions about what to eat.

And Mrs. Obama doesn't want to stop there, declaring that the government "can't leave it up to the parents" to make dietary choices either. In fact, no one is smart enough to make those decisions except, unsurprisingly, liberal Democrats.

So kids, in the words of Barack Obama: "Eat the Salad." And someday you'll be given a rifle by a government that thinks you're too stupid to be trusted with a twinkie.

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13 comments:

Philip said...

ObamaCare ? It's over, guys :

Breaking: Federal judge rules ObamaCare mandate unconstitutional

Poll: Support Repealing ObamaCare Rises to 60%

Randy Barnett Says Court Decision Against ObamaCare is a Game Changer

Poll: 72% Say Obama is a Liberal

We're in trouble :

Moody’s May Cut US Rating on Tax Package

John the Econ said...

Obesity is a national security issue. Oh, wait. It's not the size of government she's talking about, is it?

But acting worried about the ability of America is really a non sequitur with Progressives, isn't it? After all, isn't their real agenda to disarm America? What better way to achieve that than they way they've been doing it for the last several generations; letting them get fat, lazy, and too stupid to care.

Anonymous said...

I'll never forget the quote from someone (D'Souza?) who asked a man from India why he wanted to come to America. The Indian said he wanted to live where the poor people were fat. And along those lines I was always dismayed to see full plates of school lunch food thrown in the trash at an elementary school where most of the children were getting free breakfast and lunch. These were NOT hungry, let alone starving children. I still don't understand why a peanut butter or bologna sandwich, a pint of milk and an apple couldn't solve a lot of this.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Philip- Obamacare won't go down without a protracted and ugly fight, but this is certainly a welcome development!

John the Econ- Childhood obesity (and adult obesity) is actually a significant problem, but it's impossible to believe that Michelle truly cares about getting our nation into "fighting shape" for the military.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Anonymous (two above)- You make an excellent point. Simple, uncomplicated, healthy food should be relatively easy to make available to kids; if they're hungry, they'll eat it...if they're not, then they don't need it.

The food being thrown away is emblematic of another problem: a lot of schools get federal funds based on how many needy kids are enrolled, and "need" is assessed by how many children can be signed up for the meal programs. So schools overstate the need for food, get additional taxpayer funds, then throw the food away.

And when it turns out the country can't afford to continue playing these games, we're told it's because taxes aren't high enough. Madness.

Bobo said...

And why would she want four out of four kids to be fit to be in the military? I guess we should be more like the "tallyban" or the freedom fighters in far away countries who force young children to bear arms and fight?? (I'm not missing the point of today's topic, "I'm just saying.")

Colby_Muenster said...

Does anybody have statistics on a ratio of fat kids from liberal families and fat kids from conservative families? It just seems that most fat kids I see look, well.... "liberal." AND, is the first wookie trying to blame conservative, self reliant people for making the poor, downtrodden kids fat?

Pete(Detroit) said...

rifle - stupid - twinkie...
Thanks Stilt, now I have to explain to co-workers why I'm laughing...

Agreed on obesity, especially w/ poor people on aid - apparently over processd starchy fats sweetened w/ High Fructose Corn Syrup are cheaper than Ingredients... damned shame, 300+ lb people w/ malnutrition

Angry Hoosier Dad said...

Why are we accepting the normalization of government interference in the day-to-day lives of all Americans? There was a time when we'd tell this fugly cow to mind her own damned business. Today the media doesn't even raise an eyebrow at this intrusion. Another man's (or child's) obesity is not my business under any pretext and it isn't hers. Treating it so lightly just invites the next government insertion into our lives. Like Rap music, it's not the current vulgarity that bothers me as much as what crap is on the horizon.

Stilton Jarlsberg said...

Angry Hoosier Dad- We shouldn't accept this normalization, but far too many people do. Over the course of the past half-century, liberals have essentially destroyed the concept of "family" amongst the poor, and erased the role of parents. The government is basically paying to raise whole generations of useless, clueless, bloated children who will have no other purpose except to cast votes for Democrats and wait by the mailbox for benefits to roll in. Our nation is becoming a veal farm.

Pete(Detroit) said...

"Veal farm" - yeah, that, unfortunately...

InRe fat kids - can't we just laugh at them again? Remember "Lumpy" from 'Leave it to Beaver'? Hell, even his NAME said he should be ashamed, and deserved to be laughed at.

Ah, well, I guess when we're all unemployed and living on rats at the rail yard, fat kids (and adults) will be just another fond memory...

And ya know what? I really don't have a problem w/ fat people. Don't particularly want to date 'em, but that's me. The mean nasty ones like the hideous bi-ach I used to work with really are few and far between. However - I really, REALLY do not want to PAY for it. Same w/ alcoholics, smokers, what ever. You do what you want to your own body, hey, it's your life. Just don't expect me to subsidize your addictions, nor pay for the obvious and logical consequences.

jeftex said...

I know I'm fat, but I don't need to be lectured about it by someone whose butt is bigger than mine. If she wants to fight obesity, she needs to clean up her own "back yard" first.

My Dog Brewski said...

Porkers unite! We have nothing to fear but running out of bacon bits and blue cheese dressing.