Saturday, August 29, 2009

All Your Blog Are Belong To Us

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From the same folks who brought us "rat out your neighbors at" comes new legislation that could let Obama take over private computers and Internet communication in event of a "cybersecurity emergency."

It is not currently clear if such an emergency would be defined only as attacks on our financial institutions, military, electrical grid, and other critical systems...or if the emergency powers would be invoked to help combat "thought-crime" and make sure that citizens receive only the news they're supposed to hear.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Put It On My Bill

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As a lasting memorial to Teddy Kennedy, Democrats are preparing to put his name on a healthcare bill that is bloated, unpopular, and sinking faster than a '67 Oldsmobile.

Hope n' Change
salutes the Democrats wry sense of humor.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Good News / Bad News

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Even in these days of Hope n' Change, what goes around comes around. 40 years ago, an undoubtedly inebriated Senator Kennedy drove off the Chappaquiddick bridge into 8 feet of water. He got out of the vehicle, but Mary Jo Kopechne, the young intern who probably expected nothing more than a tryst, was left in the submerged car. This car...

She was not killed. She was not unconscious. But in the dark of night, she didn't know how to escape - so she curled into a position that let her breathe in a trapped air bubble, waiting for rescue...

Teddy Kennedy did not rescue her. He did not even immediately alert authorities. First he returned home, then contacted his legal and political advisors - none of whom showed any interest in Kopechne or the possibility that she was dying as they spoke. Afterwards, Teddy Kennedy went to bed for a good night's sleep. And in the morning, he called the police.

Somewhere in the night, Mary Jo's air ran out. But when she got into that car with Teddy Kennedy, her luck ran out.

Because of his name and political power, he got away with manslaughter without so much as a rebuke. He did not change his drinking. He did not change his womanizing.

And he became the "moral conscience" of the Democratic Party.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Bulletin: Teddy Kennedy - A Nation Mourns

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Yes, The Liar...err...Lion of the Senate is gone. He leaves a vast hole in the Senate, but will fill a vast hole in Arlington, and thus the mysterious circle of life goes on.

Mary Jo Kopechne could not be reached for comment.

Bo Knows

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Granted, this editorial cartoon lacks subtlety - but does anyone doubt that the President's current stance on terrorism would qualify him for the South African Women's Track Team?

Obama did not strongly denounce the release (to a hero's welcome) of the Lockerbie bomber, nor would he rule out a possible meeting in September with Libya's Gaddafi...who sponsored the bombing which killed 179 Americans, as well as other terrorist acts.

The president then gave a "thumbs up" to Eric Holder's plan to prosecute (or is that persecute?) CIA agents who used intensive interrogation techniques to thwart terrorist attacks on American soil, and cripple Al Qaeda's leadership.

But why stop there? He also took interrogation authority away from the CIA and has placed it under the direct supervision of the Whitehouse, to ensure that the cruelest torture a suspected terrorist will ever face will be sharing a non-alcoholic beer with Joe Biden in the rose garden.

Bonus: A timely free bumper sticker from the Hope n' Change Gift Shoppe!

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Tuesday, August 25, 2009

A Job Well Done

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When the UK released the Lockerbie Bomber (killer of 270 innocent people, including 179 Americans) to a hero's welcome, president Obama decided to make a strong statement about terrorism. Unfortunately, his statement was that CIA agents may be put on trial for trying to gather life-saving information, and that the Whitehouse will now supervise all interrogations of terror suspects to make sure they don't get cold, hungry, scared...or cooperative.

So basically, it's been a terrific week for terrorism. Oops, we mean "overseas contingencies!"

Important Update: Please read what Dick Cheney says about the decision to prosecute CIA officials, despite newly released proof that the "enhanced interrogation methods" saved American lives and severely damaged Al Qaeda.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Oh Canada

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As the president seeks to ram Canadian-style healthcare down American throats, the mainstream media has remained strangely silent on reports that the Canadian healthcare system is in crisis. The head of the Canadian Medical Association says that Canadians are receiving "less than optimal care," the system is "imploding," and that things are "more precarious than Canadians realize."

Then again, maybe the real crisis is that if Obamacare is passed, Canadians will no longer be able to come to the USA for life-saving surgery or state-of-the-art medical treatments.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Vineyard Vacation

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The president and his family will be vacationing in Martha's Vineyard, staying at a $30,000-per-week rental property. While there, he plans to "think about the hardships that people are going through."

He might also spend some time with a good book, like Webster's dictionary, and look up "irony."

For the millions of Americans who can't afford vacation plans, here's a free souvenir travel poster from the Hope n' Change Gift Shoppe!

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