Administration Spokesweasel Jay Carney gave the Whitehouse Press Corps a major (if somewhat prissy) scolding this week, telling the assembled reporters that they are guilty of "sloth and laziness" for "buying into the BS that you hear about spending" with regard to Barack Obama.
Carney then went on to explain to the newshounds that (and we're paraphrasing ever so slightly here) if they'd get off their dead asses and do a little fact-checking, they'd not only discover that federal spending is rising at the slowest level since Dwight Eisenhower... they'd also discover that Barack Obama's wife is actually named "Mamie."
All of which the reporters eagerly scribbled into their notepads because most of them are not only slothful and lazy, they're also drooling morons.
Or at least, they are if they don't take a close look at the tortured numbers which Carney is using to make his preposterous assertion. In a nutshell, Carney is claiming that every cent spent during Barack Obama's first year in office (2009) - including two titanic (in every sense) "stimulus" bills - has nothing to do with the current president, and needs to go on the books as being entirely the fault of President George W. Bush.
Once that little financial sleight of hand has been put in place, Barack Obama could spend as insanely in 2010 as he did in 2009 and have a net "rise" of 0%! And though total expenditures went up even more in 2011, the statistical net "rise" was still just an itty-bitty number of the sort that made voters enthusiastically proclaim "I Like Ike" way back when political slogans were cute, memorable phrases instead of existential Zen koans.
To put it simply, Obama is spending money like no president - indeed, no human being - has spent since the dawn of time. An amount which, symmetrically enough, will be virtually impossible to pay back through the end of time.
But that's not keeping the mainstream media from gleefully reporting that Obama's spending spree has all been an illusion, and that there's no need to elect fiscal conservatives to solve a financial problem that doesn't actually exist.
Frankly, as long as Jay Carney's whoppers were playing so well for the gullible Whitehouse Press Corps, we're surprised that he didn't also simply announce that employment has never been higher, Americans have never been happier, gasoline has never been cheaper, and that the national debt has been wiped out by the skyrocketing value of the president's Facebook stock.
But instead, Carney ducked into the stage wings and - unseen by the reporters - began clopping coconut shells.
You can read all about it from the reporters who were in attendance: "Carney Delivers Great News About Frugal President...Rides Away On Unicorn."