Friday, April 20, 2012

Same Bus, New Driver

Perhaps because he wanted to distract from the media frenzy attached to his admission of eating dog meat and other sordid things, Barack Obama finally decided to make a bold, decisive move to set America back on the path to prosperity and harmony.

Specifically, he flew Air Force One to Detroit in order to be photographed sitting pensively in the bus made famous by Rosa Parks (and, oh yeah, as long as he was in town,
attend another fundraiser) knowing that the inspiring image would cause all Americans to ask themselves the same troubling question etched into the president's somber face: "I wonder why this bus isn't going anywhere?"

Because our economic bus
isn't going anywhere...and the longer Obama is driving, the farther back African-Americans are being told to sit.

This situation is captured perfectly in a now-infamous recent photo of Obama's reelection headquarters in Chicago, which shows a room crammed with computers, tables, and seemingly
hundreds of enthusiastic young campaign workers. All except one of whom are white. And the one who isn't white is Asian... presumably because the campaign needed at least one worker who could do math.

Supporters of the president say that he's forced to overcompensate for his own alleged blackness by not having too many black people around him or his organization (although they're still apparently fine crowded around him at photo-ops as if they were Japanese subway riders during rush hour).

And similarly, he's overcompensating for his own blackness by doing virtually nothing to help the plight of Blacks in America. So bad is his record that the Congressional Black Caucus has said they'd be
demonstrating in front of the Whitehouse now...if Obama was a white man. But if the first black president fails to do anything for the African-American community, they don't want to risk criticizing him as being heartless, manipulative, and ineffectual - no matter how truthful that assessment is.

In response to the embarrassment of having a campaign headquarters that looks whiter than a gathering of the KKK, Obama's people are now making an "urgent push" to hire more minorities -
especially black ones. Although last time we looked, it was a serious crime to hire someone based solely on their race...or even to consider it as a condition of employment.

Maybe this is why Barack Obama felt the sudden desperate need to be photographed sitting in Rosa Parks' bus. And we hope he enjoyed the experience while it lasted.

Because he's got to get off at the next stop.

Barack Obama shares a ride with all the Black Americans he's helped.
(Note to readers: the first link in today's commentary is actually a bit of
Hope n' Change Friday mischief. Feel free to share it with your friends!)

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Kennel Rationale

For the past 3 years, Barack Obama and his beloved dog B0 have been practically inseparable except for those rare occasions that the president is playing golf, taking a vacation, going on a fundraising trip, or is anywhere on the Whitehouse grounds.

Which is why Bo has been pulled out of storage and, still smelling of mothballs, is being used as the latest shameless fundraising prop for his master.

Obama's "Throw Bo a Bone" campaign is asking donors to cough up $10 to celebrate the dog's 3rd anniversary in the Whitehouse (after the similarly themed "Throw Joe a Bone" Campaign failed miserably, despite pictures of Biden begging and making "sad eyes"). And the fundraising website assures us that "the first dog is wagging his tail in anticipation of four more years." No doubt
because he'd rather keep eating gourmet table scraps than have to switch to the cheap, canned supermarket dog food which the unemployed are eating in the Obamaconomy.

Moreover, Bo might be at least a little worried that if things go badly in November, his master might revert to eating dogs again as he did when he lived in Indonesia. In "Dreams from my Father," Barry describes eating dog, snake, and grasshoppers with his stepfather who "
like many Indonesians, followed a brand of Islam that could make room for the remnants of more ancient animist and Hindu faiths. He explained that a man took on the powers of whatever he ate: One day soon, he promised, he would bring home a piece of tiger meat for us to share."

And people think that Romney's religion is out of the mainstream...?

But dog eater or not, Barry's relationship with Bo certainly appears to have had an influence on the president's policies; how else to explain Obama's "Old Yeller" approach toward dealing with the sick and elderly?

Still, when we put all the politics aside, how can anyone not love the ever-loyal, playful, crotch-sniffing, leg-humping, companions of our presidents?

Which is why Obama's next fundraiser will be called "Throw a Bone to the Secret Service."

A man's best friend is his fundraiser.

Bonus Graphic! Suitable for pasting ALL OVER THE INTERNET (hint, hint).


Monday, April 16, 2012

Head for the Life Votes!

This weekend marked the 100th Anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic, perhaps mankind's clearest object lesson that neither empty "expertise" nor self-satisfied hubris can prevent disaster.

But sadly, Captain Barack Obama is now ordering America's ship of state to move at "full speed ahead" towards an iceberg he not only knows is there...but he's actually doing
everything in his power to make the iceberg bigger.

That iceberg is, of course, the National Debt...and according to ship's navigator Timothy Geithner, the president's plan is to ram it all full speed just
15 years from now and allow the wrecked U.S. economy to disappear as quickly, completely, and cruelly as the Titanic slipped beneath the icy waves...without even the comfort of an orchestra playing "Nearer My God to Thee" in case any Muslims, liberals, or ACLU lawyers might be offended.

But if Geithner is saying that life as we know it will end in 15 years, why aren't people in a state of panic and angrily demanding action?

In part it's because the End of America seems
unthinkable, and therefore can't really be possible (let alone imminent). Right? Wrong. Wishful thinking isn't going to keep us afloat. But just as importantly, people are failing to realize the gravity of the situation because the captain of our ship is lying his butt off about both the looming disaster and his efforts to avoid it.

How else to categorize Barack Obama's continued speechifying about the preposterous
"Buffett Rule" which will have as little effect on the debt crisis as the Titanic's buffet tables had on keeping the great ship from sinking?

The Skipper-in-Chief is currently saying that the "Buffett Rule," which imposes significantly higher taxes on millionaires, "will help us close the deficit." Which sounds good until you crunch the numbers and find out that it will take 514 years of these increased taxes
just to pay off Obama's deficit from 2011. Which means that the deficit from 2012, Obama's (hopefully) final year in office, wouldn't be paid until after the year 3000.

Except, of course, by then our nation will have been
gone for 975 years... unknown to anyone except some future James Cameron-type who is willing to dive deeper into red ink than anyone has dared to do previously.

Except for Barack Obama.

To see this image in breathtaking 3D just take off your rose-colored glasses.