Saturday, December 19, 2009

Heat Waive

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As the shouting dies down, it's increasingly clear that the Copenhagen Climate Summit was largely pointless. Absent a real agreement that he could simply sign on to, Barack Obama made a fumbling, angry, cliche-filled speech which disappointed his fellow eco-communists.

As the purpose of the Summit was always more about redistribution of the West's wealth than actual climate change, many attendees were initially enthusiastic about Hillary Clinton's offer for the US to spearhead a $100 billion a year giveaway to developing nations. Fortunately, it now seems more likely that Hell will freeze over before this "international" fund actually starts paying out.

And so the Copenhagen carnival of climategate, faked data, bad poetry, and economic revolution has accomplished nothing...other than adding untold tons of greenhouse gasses to the atmosphere from the private jets and limos of the Green intelligentsia.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Precipice of History

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When Hope n' Change thinks about the great American process of creating legislation, we imagine civilized patriots who write concisely, thoughtfully, and selflessly to create laws for the common good. In other words, we are delusional.

Barack Obama, caught without a teleprompter or a dictionary, said that we are now on "the precipice of Healthcare," meaning we're all at the edge of a cliff...and the Democrats are right behind us, pushing as hard as they can.

Obama breathlessly claims that the nation will go bankrupt unless we pass a bill which paradoxically raises spending and increases debt. Meanwhile, Harry Reid and company are doing their best to hide the details of the bill from the Republicans, the public, the media, and any of their own members who still have a shred of decency...while polls increasingly show that the majority of voters are against this takeover of our health, our liberty, and a large percentage of our economy.

In other words, had these Democrats been running the show in 1776, the preamble to the Constitution wouldn't say "We the people," it would say "Screw the people..."

Thursday, December 17, 2009

All About The Benjamins

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Edging out tough competitors like "The Chinese Workers" and Nancy Pelosi, Ben Bernanke (the Chairman of the Federal Reserve) was named Time Magazine's 2009 "Person of the Year."

Oh sure, we're still in a terrible recession, unemployment is skyrocketing, the dollar is plummeting, industries are falling, and the country is at risk of losing its AAA credit rating. But as the Obama Administration likes to frequently say "it could be even worse!"

And so, in these strange days of Hope n' Change, this is what passes for praiseworthy accomplishment: keeping things from being "even worse."

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Cold Hard Facts

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At the Climate Change summit, global warming superstar Al Gore announced a 75% likelihood that the arctic will be ice-free in approximately 5 years. Unfortunately for Gore, the scientist who collected the data says he has no idea how Gore came to this fanciful conclusion. Oops!

Meanwhile, many countries attending the summit have reached the unsurprisingly conclusion that "climate change" can best be addressed by a transfer of billions of dollars from the United States and other developed nations as a way to say "we're sorry." Or maybe just "we're stupid."

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Calling Doctor Howard, Doctor Fine, Doctor Howard!

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According to the non-partisan CMMS (Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services), the currently proposed "healthcare reform" bill proposed by Harry Reid will make things much, much, much, much, MUCH worse than they are now.

According to their new report, 1) health care costs would rise by $234 billion; 2) 17 million Americans would be forced out of their existing health insurance; 3) 19 million Americans would pay $29 billion in taxes/fines and receive no health care in return; 4) 33% of all Medicare Advantage customers would lose their health care plan; 5) 18 million Americans would be put on welfare; 6) the $493 billion in Medicare cuts would force 20% of Medicare providers to become unprofitable thus jeopardizing access to care for all seniors; and 7) the explosion in Medicaid recipients would exacerbate existing health care access problems for the poor. (Summary provided by

Despite this, Democrats are pushing hard to get the bill passed prior to their Christmas break,
so Obama can claim "healthcare reform" as the one and only "accomplishment" for his first year in office. Editorially speaking, Hope n' Change would like to say more, but we need to go change the cotton balls in our ears...

Senate medical advisors,
Doctor L. Fine, Doctor C. Howard, Doctor M. Howard

Monday, December 14, 2009

Handy Man

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Kevin Jennings, the so-called "Safe School Czar" appointed by Barack Obama, previously created a group named GLSEN (pronounced "Glisten")...the "Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network."

As part of GLSEN's outreach program, it visited schools and passed out "fisting kits" to children as young as 14 - plastic gloves, KY jelly, and instructions on the dangerous joys of rectal spelunking. They also demonstrated how to repurpose gloves for oral sex ("Put your tongue in the thumb hole"), and created a reading list which emphasized the "pleasure and empowerment" that young boys found when they discovered anonymous bathroom sex with much older men.

Hope n' Change would like to apologize for even talking about these things...and frankly, we didn't want to. But DAMN IT, it's important that we confront a president who thinks men like Kevin Jennings should be in a position to push these dangerous (and frankly appalling) behaviors on schoolkids, and awards him the position of "Safe School Czar" to help enable his agenda.

This is not about being gay or straight...because frankly, we don't care. But we do care about promiscuity, about morality versus immorality, and about protection of children. Which is more than we can say for Mr. Jennings...or Mr. Obama.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Par For The Course

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If only real life worked like this. But noooo - the news media continues to harp about Tiger Woods violating his marital oath while ignoring the way Democrats violate their oaths in ways that would make practitioners of the Kama Sutra blush.

For instance, the Dems are currently raising the national debt ceiling by another $1.8 trillion (for a total of $14 trillion a year) by slipping it into the fine print of a vital military expense bill, thereby screwing every American...including those who aren't even born yet. But is the media screaming about it? Nope, they're too busy writing editorials about whether Tiger is an anti-black racist because he doesn't treat African-American women like whores.

So in these strange days of Hope n' Change, Tiger Woods is no longer morally fit to be selling Gatorade...but the Democrats and the media can go right on pushing Kool-aid.