Saturday, May 7, 2011

HnC Vault: Rear View

A close adviser to Barack Obama is now describing the president's actions in Libya as "leading from behind," which seems a less accurate description than "covering his ass."

Over the weekend, while the president was "killing 'em" at a stand-up comedy appearance for synchophants in the press, he was also "killing 'em" in Libya. Among the targets of Mr. Obama's "kinetic military action" were a school for children with Down's Syndrome, as well as a direct attack (of the sort the president says he would never, ever condone) on Muammar Gadhafi which the dictator escaped, but his youngest son and 3 grandchildren were blown to smithereens.

Now some people might say that this sounds like, oh, war rather than delivery of humanitarian aid...or at the very least an assassination attempt. And they might expect an explanation from the man claimed to be "leading from behind." But they'd be sorely disappointed.

According to Whitehouse spokesman Shin Inouye, the president has no comments (and possibly no thoughts) on any of this, and reporters should ask NATO what's going on instead.

Because "leading from behind" means never having to say you're responsible.


Update May 6, 2011

Today's cartoon from the vault is a bit of an aberration, because it's never been seen before and it only goes back to last Monday. This is the cartoon that was ready to go when the news came out that Osama bin Laden had been killed, and the news cycle shifted dramatically.

So to prove that Hope n' Change is a "green" political parody site, we're re-using the cartoon rather than throwing it out. And frankly, nothing that's happened in the past week would make us change a word of what we wrote above.

More and more reports are leaking out that Obama did indeed "lead from behind" on the Osama kill the extent that he was possibly against it, and didn't know it was being carried out when he was literally pulled off the golf course to see what the grown-ups in the military and CIA were doing.

That theory dovetails rather neatly with the president claiming that he doesn't know what's going on in Libya, either. Or Bahrain or Syria. Or anywhere else, except Democratic fundraising events.

Of course, if the mission had gone badly in Pakistan, we would have gotten a repeat of the previous week's shrugging and finger-pointing and "we didn't know anything" claims that we heard regarding the failed attempt on Ghaddafi's life.

Because this is a president who will never take true responsibility for anything. But as we saw from his "victory lap" in New York, he's all too ready to grab credit...whether it's his or not.


Friday, May 6, 2011

Photo Finish

What a week it's been! America's Commander-in-Chief was (by some accounts) unable to abort a mission to kill Osama bin Laden, but at least delayed the implementation by making the mission much more dangerous owing to his demand to gather irrefutable proof.

Which now,
we can't see.

Apparently, Mr. Obama is under the impression that the Islamic world (which he seemingly
views as extremely dangerous and easily inflamed) hasn't heard about Osama bin Laden's death, and they won't hear about it if no proof is released. So remember - don't tell anyone! Loose lips sink ships, including ships of state!

Meanwhile, the president is working overtime to create credible proof that he was the driving force behind the kill mission, going so far as to visit 9/11 firefighters in New York yesterday and asserting that "you have a president and an administration who's got your back." Unlike, say, the previous president?

Apparently, Barack Hussein Obama is
very concerned about those who might be offended by a photograph...but still shows no sensitivity towards those who are offended by insincere words.


Thursday, May 5, 2011

Forgive and Forget

Today, in the aftermath of Osama bin Laden's death, Barack Hussein Obama will visit New York's Ground Zero for the first time since being elected and remind Americans of the importance of coming together in a renewed sense of unity.

And by "unity," of course, he means "total amnesia."

Because Mr. Obama desperately wants America to forget virtually everything about his administration's "War on War on Terror."

He'd like us to forget that his Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, stood on the floor of the senate soon after the 9/11 attacks displaying a headline that proclaimed "BUSH KNEW!" He'd like us to forget Whitehouse staffer Van Jones, who wasn't shy about telling people that Bush
actually blew up the twin towers. And Mr. Obama would like Americans to forget that his pastor of 20 years, Jeremiah Wright, described the 9/11 attacks as "America's chickens coming home to roost."

To achieve our all-important moment of "unity," it's critical that we forget Barack Obama's promise to close Guantanamo, and that he downgraded the ability of the CIA to interrogate prisoners. We have to expunge from our memories the fact that Eric Holder considered criminal prosecution of the very people who helped obtain the information that brought down Osama bin Laden...and favored expensive, dangerous, and legally risky "show trials" for terrorists in the still-bleeding heart of New York (while delaying for two years the military tribunals which Obama and Holder thought untrustworthy).

Mr. Obama invited President George W. Bush to his Ground Zero "unity" appearance apparently hoping that Mr. Bush would forget the many times that Obama accused him personally of ignoring Osama bin Laden in favor of starting a "war of choice" in Iraq. Perhaps he also hoped Bush would forget that Mr. Obama likes to invite people to gatherings at which he intends to insult them - as he did with the Supreme Court justices and Paul Ryan.

And of course, "unity" means that Barack Obama would like us to forget that he refused to make a statement to the American people on the Ground Zero Mosque controversy...but days later, at his Ramadan feast, announced to a room filled with Muslim dignitaries that he strongly supported it.

So whenever you hear Barack Hussein Obama say the word "unity," know that he really means "forget."

Just as he should know that real Americans will "Never Forget."

Bonus: Despite having earlier said "F**k you" to the American public with regards to providing proof of Osama bin Laden's death (or even a consistent story about the death), the Whitehouse has now released this official, authentic, unretouched "death photo" which is of unquestionable veracity according to Whitehouse veracity experts. Hope n' Change hopes this will settle the matter to everyone's satisfaction.

Reports are that the "death shots" were fired by a Navy Seal named "U.K.L. Lee"

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Gruesome Images

Still queasy from watching television in the Situation Room while the US Military completed President Bush's longterm plan to rid the world of Osama bin Laden, president Barack Obama is now debating when to release the gruesome images.

Oh, we don't mean pictures of Osama with a chunk of his head missing: we assume that picture will be more popular than the cover of Sports Illustrated's swimsuit issue.

No, we mean letting the news media again look at the gruesome images of our nation's economy. We know that the images, in the words of Whitehouse spokesman Jay Carney, "could be inflammatory" and bring back painful memories of that nightmarish day, only two and a half years ago, when Obama struck without warning and set into motion the "War on Fiscal Responsibility."

Despite the glad news of Osama's highly kinetic passing, polls show very little improvement in Barack Obama's approval numbers, indicating that the public can tell the difference between what the president actually does and what he watches others do.

In any case, it's now time for Mr. Obama to turn his attention away from that compound in Pakistan...and get serious about trying to solve the economic disasters which have been compounded by his presidency.


Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Thanks But No Thanks

24 hours isn't enough time to really absorb the importance and many ramifications of the (highly satisfying) death of Osama bin Laden.

Conflicting and contradictory information seems to be everywhere: did the Pakistani government help hide Bin Laden, or did they help us find him? Or both? Would we have found Osama's hideout if President Bush hadn't authorized waterboarding of high-value detainees at Gitmo? Does Eric Holder feel that we shouldn't have acted on that "illegally obtained" intelligence, and is he upset that Bin Laden wasn't mirandized and given an attorney instead of a couple of live rounds in the forehead?

After the hasty "burial at sea," will we get photographic proof that the deceased was indeed Osama Bin Laden...or will Donald Trump lead a "deather" movement hunting for suppressed documentation? Will Bin Laden's death cause terrorism to decline in the world...or to escalate in terrible ways as retaliation? Can the death of Osama Bin Laden be a unifying event for Americans...or will "politics as usual" sour the moment?

Here at Hope n' Change, we don't have the answers for those questions...and like everyone else, we're watching the breaking news to learn all we can. But one thing we can say with certainty is that the death of Osama Bin Laden is great news for America and the world.

And that somewhere, 72 virgins are projectile vomiting after seeing what washed up at their doorstep.


Sunday, May 1, 2011

HnC Vault: Kids Book

Originally published March 29, 2009

In these days of Hope n' Change, "inspiration" isn't what it used to be.

Update 4/1/2011

Following Barack Obama's cocky and condescending presentation of his birth certificate this week, we couldn't resist going to the Hope n' Change vault to pull up this cartoon to remind people of another name on that birth certificate: Barack Obama senior.

What a class act: he knocked up Obama's mother when she was 17 (and he was already married), ended up with multiple wives and a busload of children - several of whom still live in huts without economic assistance from their step-president brother.

He attended Harvard, but was forced out before completing his Ph.D. in economics, because the university was concerned about his low moral character.

After returning to Africa, he worked for an oil company (which must cause enormous conflict for his anti-oil son) and became a raging alcoholic, wife beater, and serial drunk driver who lost both legs, and killed another driver, before finally killing himself in yet another DUI accident.

We don't dredge all of this up to mock the president, but rather to raise the question (as others have) about how the experience of having such a nightmarish father shaped young Barack Obama's personality and worldview into something distinctly distorted and unhealthy.

At the very least, his father's rejection would explain why Barack Obama is obsessed not with governing (which he isn't good at)...but with campaigning, hearing the cheers, and soliciting votes as a perverse affirmation of his worth. And why having a father who pretended he didn't exist would cause Barack Junior to write (or commission) two autobiographies before actually accomplishing anything.

So while we now concede that Barack Obama has a birth certificate...we can't help but notice that the circumstances of his birth have left him somewhat certifiable.