H2Obama

It's no secret that the mainstream media carries water for Barack Hussein Obama, but in the wake of the State of the Union address and Republican rebuttal, they've hauled it farther than Gunga Din.

Specifically, the Left-leaning media is apoplectic about Senator Marco Rubio pausing in his remarks for approximately a nanosecond to take a quick sip of bottled water before continuing with his on-target evisceration of Barry's preposterous speech.

If you're asking "what's the big deal?," Hope n' Change Cartoons is forced to reply that we have no freaking idea. CNN, which to date hasn't given a rat's ass about Obama's dereliction of duty in the Benghazi murders, actually asked "can a drink of water make or break a political career?" while running a slow-motion loop of Rubio's sip, subtitled "Career-Ender?"

Frankly, we think this is about the least interesting water-related political scandal imaginable. Especially when certain others which spring to mind...

Let's see, Teddy Kennedy drowned Mary Jo Kopechne in water. Jimmy Carter, while fishing in Georgia, spotted a bunny swimming in the water and beat the tar out of it with an oar.  Former and future presidents Bill and Hillary Clinton were neck deep in the Whitewater scandal. John Kerry's lies about his swiftboating experiences (while on water!) were used to undermine our country and our armed forces. And even Barack Obama needs to answer for adding to the environmental damage from the BP oil spill because he insisted that the waters be cleaned only by union crews, thereby increasing both cleanup time and cost.

All of which makes us think that simply taking a sip of water during a brilliant speech isn't much of a crime.

Maybe the mainstream media should actually try it sometime. It could make a nice break from the president's Kool-aid.
 

In fairness, Hope n' Change wasn't drinking water that night either.

Horse Scents

Following the shocking news that North Korea had detonated another, stronger nuclear device despite receiving a series of increasingly stern Hallmark cards from the United Nations, Barack Obama announced that he considers the act "highly provactive," much like Reggie Love in thong underwear.

The president, who used his State of the Union address to talk about reducing our own nuclear arsenal, downsizing our military, disarming our population, and other far-reaching pussification efforts, said of North Korea that "they represent a serious threat to the United States of America, and we've got to be prepared to deal with that."

Yeah! And how are we going to be prepared to deal with that...? With guns? Missiles? Bombs? Aircraft carriers? Drone strikes? Chuck Norris?!

Nope. Barry says "North Korea's threatening activities warrant further swift and credible action by the international community." And by "international community," he of course means the United Nations who will, according to US Ambassador and shameless Benghazi shill Susan Rice, "do the usual drill" and issue a condemnation.  Although at this point, North Korea already has been on the receiving end of more "condemns" than Sandra Fluke.

Sadly, we can't really expect the president to have a very solid policy on North Korea owing to the fact that he doesn't really employ any experts on the region - despite this being a "serious threat" to our country. 

In fact, in a highly-embarrassing mixup, Obama recently scrambled Seal Team Six to have them "terminate with extreme prejudice" the Pillsbury Doughboy after national security advisers mistook him for Kim Jong-Un, the poppin' fresh leader of North Korea.

Still, we have to give the president points for consistency: he's been pushing hard to make sure that only crazy people will have guns, and is now extending that policy so that only crazy countries will have nukes.

But as Hillary Clinton would say, "What difference does it make at this point?"

When the Blowboy giggles, it's time to worry.

  

Fate of the Union

Honest, Abe, we're with you on this one. On Tuesday, Barack Obama goes before a joint session and the American public to deliver his State of the Union speech and perhaps shoot a few skeet, with Beyoncé performing the halftime bump & grind show.

The emphasis of his speech is said to be on jobs and the economy, although it's unknown what new he'll have to say since we already know he's against both of them. And to save Hope n' Change readers a bit of time (spoiler alert!) we'll tell you what Barry will say is the only way to restore our nation's employment levels: higher taxes. Surprise!

Looking into our crystal ball, we can also tell you that the president will demonize Republicans by pretending that they (rather then he) are behind the upcoming sequester budget cuts, and he will invoke the victims of Sandy Hook Elementary to disarm Americans (Democrats are inviting victims of gun violence to the speech, although how they can fit in the entire population of Chicago remains to be seen).

President Soetoro will lie about the solvency of Social Security and Medicare and the intentions of those fiscal patriots who would actually like to save those programs. And he will demand that we get really, really serious about immigration reform and just start sending welfare checks to everyone in Mexico to save them the trouble of strolling across our unguarded borders.

Of course, the president will also take this opportunity to finally and fully explain the tragic events which took place under his watch in Benghazi.

Just kidding! There's a better chance that he'll mention the troubling accusations that Donald Duck doesn't like hugging black kids. Surely a Joe Biden fact-finding mission won't be far behind.

Frankly, we don't plan to be watching the president's speech as we prefer to maintain some sense of hope and optimism through our "glass half full" outlook on life.

Mind you, it's a big glass...and what it's half full of burns sweetly going down.

Hope n' Change Trivia: In a recent ranking by Alexa of the 150 most popular conservative websites on the Internet (and therefore the known universe),  Hope n' Change Cartoons placed 140. That means we'll officially be targeted with our own drone and (dare we even hope?) get our own presidential flashcard. Our thanks to the many readers who visit and spread the word!  -Stilton