Saturday, June 12, 2010

Still Leaking

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This week, tough-guy president Barack Obama declared that he was going to kick some ass. Not coincidentally, the American people decided to do the same, and dropped the president's approval rating to an all-time low of just 44%.

In an astounding display of multi-tasking the president has managed to simultaneously alienate conservatives, far-left liberals, Hispanics, gay rights activists, friends of Israel, senior citizens, doctors, and what Bill O'Reilly refers to as the "pelican vote" - the many people who are outraged at the president's lackadaisical response to the BP oil spill.

In fact, the only statistically significant group of people who might approve of the president's handling of current crises are the "radical Islamics." But unfortunately, they're not reflected in poll numbers because the president has declared that they don't exist.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Say Cheese

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After the increasingly (if unconvincingly) manly president consulted a team of oil engineering experts to figure out "whose ass to kick," he decided that the answer is...yours.

Obama's interior department issued a prohibition against all deep-water drilling for at least the next 6 months, and cited the experts as the reason for the moratorium. But now those same experts are speaking out to say they were against any such moratorium, that they were misled, and they feel betrayed by the administration.

According to these experts, "A blanket moratorium is not the answer. It will not measurably reduce risk further and it will have a lasting impact on the nation's economy which may be greater than that of the oil spill. We do not believe punishing the innocent is the right thing to do."

Even worse, the engineers say that it's actually safer to let existing wells continue to pump, rather than attempt to shut them down and risk new blowouts.

Put another way, the experts feel that Obama's policies offer a greater threat to our nation than the oil spill itself, both economically and environmentally.

And ain't that a kick in the ass.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Barry Generous

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Being an incurable optimist, Barack Obama believes "When life gives you blockades, make blockade aid."

And that's exactly what he's doing: giving $400 million taxpayer dollars to the Palestinians to show how sorry the U.S. is that 9 political "activists" were killed in the Gaza blockade while in the process of beating and stabbing Israeli soldiers.

The money is intended to build housing, schools, water facilities, and healthcare systems...all of which sounds pretty good until you realize that this theoretically frees up the Palestinians to spend their own money on other things. Things that go "boom" in a variety of deadly and heartbreaking ways.

And just to make absolutely sure our former allies understand that they're being thrown under the bus, Barack Hussein Obama said that the U.S. will "work with Israel to loosen its "unsustainable" grip on Gaza."

Really? That's working with Israel? Makes you wonder what working against Israel would look like!

Oh would look like we're funding her enemies.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Tough Guise

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In the face of the BP oil spill disaster, many observers have been dismayed at the president's apparent lack of emotion.

To that end, noted "Steve Urkel" impersonator Spike Lee has told Obama that
it's time to "Go off!" And liberal pundit Bill Maher has enthusiastically embraced racial stereotyping by declaring "
This is where I want a real black president. I want him in a meeting with the BP CEOs where he lifts up his shirt and you can see the gun in his pants."

In order to put a cap on the president's out of control testosterone leak, Whitehouse spokesman Robert Gibbs issued an official statement that the president is actually "enraged"...which he shows by "clenching his jaw." Say what?

So now the president has released a video clip in which he declares that he's going to "kick ass."

And maybe he will. After all, kicking somone in the ass is a lot less risky than confronting them to their face.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Song and Dance

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A full year and a half into the Obama administration, the president's hacks and flacks are still trying to blame President George W. Bush for the fact that so many things are going wrong, no matter how wildly implausible.

In recent days, Arianna Huffington has called Bush "1000% responsible" for the BP oil spill and the inept governmental response. Bush is also being blamed for the escalating tensions related to Israel's need to defend itself via the Gaza blockade. And because George W. Bush is at the root of virtually everything that goes wrong in the world, the former President is even being blamed for Al Gore's separation from wife Tipper.

Considering that Barack Obama's major accomplishment as a senator from Illinois was voting "present," it's fascinating to see him trying to claim that he's still not "present" when it matters most.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Down for the Counters

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On Friday, the Whitehouse giddily touted 431,000 new jobs in May as proof that the economy is bouncing back. And Wall Street responded by plunging over 300 points, as stock brokers swan-dived out windows. But why?

Because fully 411,000 of those "new jobs" were just temporary positions for census takers - people who are being paid in tax dollars without creating anything, manufacturing anything, adding any value to the economy, and whose jobs will soon disappear.

The numbers indicate that real businesses still aren't hiring...and many experts believe it's because they're afraid of the myriad hardships that Washington is sending their way via increasing taxes, the costs and confusions of Obamacare, and the looming threat of "Cap and Trade."

In other words, the president's policies are very accurately described as "job-killing." And unfortunately, those policies are working very well indeed.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Eyewitness Jews

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Senior Whitehouse correspondent and Hearst reporter Helen Thomas, who considers Israel a "terrorist state," has declared that "the Jews should get the hell out of Palestine."

And pray, He
len, where should the Jews go if they're thrown out of Israel? The veteran newswoman has a ready answer: they should be sent to Poland and Germany, countries which have a demonstrable record of knowing how to handle the Jews. In fact, they had a Final Solution.

Former Whitehouse press secretary Ari Fleischer has said that Thomas should be fired and removed from the Whitehouse press corps, despite a feeble apology from Thomas suggesting that her remarks were misunderstood.

It's bad enough that the current Whitehouse administration doesn't have the nerve to stand up to Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who is a Holocaust denier. But can they really continue to give a seat - and a voice - to a Holocaust supporter?!

This is not a rhetorical question. Israel and her enemies will be watching to see what the Whitehouse does or doesn't do next.

As will millions of lost souls.

Postcard from Helen's old flame, "Adolf H."