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Johnny Optimism
Check out Stilton Jarlsberg's other webcomic "Johnny Optimism!" Updates M-W-F!
In the face of a collapsing economy, rampant unemployment, and global instability, Barack Hussein Obama took office in 2008 promising Hope and Change. The "Hope" thing didn't really work out, but we got plenty of "Change" as everything got worse. And now, the jug-eared jackass has a second term.
That's why at Hope n' Change Cartoons, we're creating conservative smartaleckry to provide a little laughter in these strange times. Cartoons will probably be posted Monday and Wednesday, and definitely on Friday. Additionally, cartoons and graphics will be posted randomly on our Facebook page and Friday we'll add the week's postings right here to kick around in one of the greatest comments sections on the Web.Note: please feel free to repost our cartoons on your favorite blogs!
Click picture for full size --- Click envelope icon to share with friends The Democrats have now enlisted union members to help them "punch back twice as hard" at townhall meetings, drowning out and physically intimidating anyone who questions the president's healthcare bill. But why would the unions support Obamacare unless it was good for their membership? Because the healthcare bill gives union members a better deal than everyone else (except politicians) will get. And all the unions have to do in return is pay off the Democrats with forced union dues, and occasionally beat the snot out of people who get in the way.
Bonus video: The president who admired the "robust debate" of Iranian politics declares that he "doesn't want to hear a lot of talk" from opponents and wants them "out of the way."
Click picture for full size --- Click envelope icon to share with friends We can only imagine that the woman was showing schoolchildren how to put condoms on bananas when something went horribly, horribly wrong. Hope n' Change wants all readers to remember that when it comes to "safe sex" and gorillas, the best policy is to "Just Say RUN!!!"
Who is being paid to read these emails, and by what authority? Once the names are collected...what next? Audits? Threats? A burlap bag over the head? Or maybe just a note in your "permanent record" about how much healthcare you should or shouldn't get... Keep in mind that this is the President who praised the run-up to the Iranian "election" for its "robust debate." Is that what you're trying to encourage with this program, Mr President? "Robust debate?" And will you follow the Iranian model for silencing critics who "could have calibrated their words better?"
And say, what about that catchy address: "Flag@Whitehouse.Gov" Flag? FLAG?!If this isn't the most obscene defilement of the flag in our history, I don't know what is.
Meanwhile, it's safe to assume that people will have a lot of mischievous fun with that address; not just reporting suspected conservatives, but also cranky neighbors, ex-spouses, schoolteachers, your a**hole boss, the person who turned you down for a date...the list goes on and on. Why not just address the mail to ScrewAnyoneYouWant@Whitehouse.Gov?
BONUS #1: Free poster from the Hope n' Change Gift Shoppe
BONUS #2: Official video showing what you're ordered to do if you see a suspected conservative!
Click picture for full size --- Click envelope icon to share with friends Yesterday was, according to some (but not all) documents, the president's 48th birthday. To celebrate, the Whitehouse staff sung "Happy Birthday," after which the president made a wish, took a deep breath, and then blew out the entire federal budget for about the 5th time since taking office.
Birthday Bonus: Obama's original birth certificate finally found, authenticated, and posted!
Click picture for full size --- Click envelope icon to share with friends Democrats are increasingly concerned about returning to their home districts and facing angry voters. Hope n' Change believes that they're worrying unnecessarily, and that the skyrocketing sales of torches, pitchforks, tar, and feathers are probably coincidental.
Click picture for full size --- Click envelope icon to share with friends Despite many, many, many promises to the contrary, Obama's top economic advisors are now hinting about sweeping tax increases for the middle-class. They also say that unless economic indicators change soon, they will be forced to burn our crops, drink our ale, and "defile the womenfolk."
Click picture for full size --- Click envelope icon to share with friends On issue after issue, Obama's poll numbers are plummeting. Like a lead balloon. Like Icarus in flames. Like Acupulco cliff divers who misjudge where the rocks are. Like whatever the hell that blue ice is that falls off of jets, crashes through roofs, and melts into rank puddles of human waste.
Hope n' Change pop quiz - The president's ratings are in free fall because:
1) His "stimulus" only stimulated political cronies 2) His auto "bailouts" turned into union payoffs 3) His proposed healthcare plan guarantees higher bills and worse medicine 4) He turned a blind eye toward Iranian protestors 5) He supports the return of an anti-democratic despot to Honduras 6) His billion-dollar "Cash for Clunkers" program ran out of money in a single week 7) His "Cap and Trade" bill is widely seen as non-environmental wealth redistribution 8) He inflamed the nation with the accusation that white police officers are, as a group, stupid racists.
The correct answer is, of course, that the president's ratings are dropping "Because he drinks light beer."
