Saturday, August 8, 2009

Robust Debate

Click picture for full size --- Click envelope icon to share with friends
The Democrats have now enlisted union members to help them "punch back twice as hard" at townhall meetings, drowning out and physically intimidating anyone who questions the president's healthcare bill. But why would the unions support Obamacare unless it was good for their membership? Because the healthcare bill gives union members a better deal than everyone else (except politicians) will get. And all the unions have to do in return is pay off the Democrats with forced union dues, and occasionally beat the snot out of people who get in the way.

Bonus video: The president who admired the "robust debate" of Iranian politics declares that he "doesn't want to hear a lot of talk" from opponents and wants them "out of the way."

Friday, August 7, 2009

Gorilla My Dreams

Click picture for full size --- Click envelope icon to share with friends
We can only imagine that the woman was showing schoolchildren how to put condoms on bananas when something went horribly, horribly wrong. Hope n' Change wants all readers to remember that when it comes to "safe sex" and gorillas, the best policy is to "Just Say RUN!!!"

Thursday, August 6, 2009


Click picture for full size --- Click envelope icon to share with friends

So it's come to this. An office in the Whitehouse set up specifically so people can turn in their friends and neighbors who are suspected of thoughtcrime against Obama (and if you don't know what "thoughtcrime" is, go read "1984" right now, before it disappears from the shelves!)

Who is being paid to read these emails, and by what authority? Once the names are collected...what next? Audits? Threats? A burlap bag over the head? Or maybe just a note in your "permanent record" about how much healthcare you should or shouldn't get...

Keep in mind that this is the President who praised the run-up to the Iranian "election" for its "robust debate." Is that what you're trying to encourage with this program, Mr President? "Robust debate?" And will you follow the Iranian model for silencing critics who "could have calibrated their words better?"

And say, what about that catchy address: "Flag@Whitehouse.Gov" Flag? FLAG?! If this isn't the most obscene defilement of the flag in our history, I don't know what is.

Meanwhile, it's safe to assume that people will have a lot of mischievous fun with that address; not just reporting suspected conservatives, but also cranky neighbors, ex-spouses, schoolteachers, your a**hole boss, the person who turned you down for a date...the list goes on and on. Why not just address the mail to ScrewAnyoneYouWant@Whitehouse.Gov?

BONUS #1: Free poster from the Hope n' Change Gift Shoppe

BONUS #2: Official video showing what you're ordered to do if you see a suspected conservative!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Birthday Boy

Click picture for full size --- Click envelope icon to share with friends
Yesterday was, according to some (but not all) documents, the president's 48th birthday. To celebrate, the Whitehouse staff sung "Happy Birthday," after which the president made a wish, took a deep breath, and then blew out the entire federal budget for about the 5th time since taking office.

Birthday Bonus: Obama's original birth certificate finally found, authenticated, and posted!

Click for full size

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Recess Time

Click picture for full size --- Click envelope icon to share with friends
Democrats are increasingly concerned about returning to their home districts and facing angry voters. Hope n' Change believes that they're worrying unnecessarily, and that the skyrocketing sales of torches, pitchforks, tar, and feathers are probably coincidental.

Bonus video: Arlen Specter is booed and shouted at for declaring that Obamacare needs to be pushed through as quickly as possible.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Middle Class

Click picture for full size --- Click envelope icon to share with friends
Despite many, many, many promises to the contrary, Obama's top economic advisors are now hinting about sweeping tax increases for the middle-class. They also say that unless economic indicators change soon, they will be forced to burn our crops, drink our ale, and "defile the womenfolk."

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Poll Vault

Click picture for full size --- Click envelope icon to share with friends
On issue after issue, Obama's poll numbers are plummeting. Like a lead balloon. Like Icarus in flames. Like Acupulco cliff divers who misjudge where the rocks are. Like whatever the hell that blue ice is that falls off of jets, crashes through roofs, and melts into rank puddles of human waste.

Hope n' Change pop quiz - The president's ratings are in free fall because:

1) His "stimulus" only stimulated political cronies
2) His auto "bailouts" turned into union payoffs
3) His proposed healthcare plan guarantees higher bills and worse medicine
4) He turned a blind eye toward Iranian protestors
5) He supports the return of an anti-democratic despot to Honduras
6) His billion-dollar "Cash for Clunkers" program ran out of money in a single week
7) His "Cap and Trade" bill is widely seen as non-environmental wealth redistribution
8) He inflamed the nation with the accusation that white police officers are, as a group, stupid racists.

The correct answer is, of course, that the president's ratings are dropping "Because he drinks light beer."